So you dragged yourself down to the plantation once again and the person at the next desk over got you ready to sling your coffee across the room like drinks on “Basketball Wives.”
Fellow Employees We Can’t Stand
Here are 12 people down at the job who give us a permanent case of the Mondays..
They talk, and talk, and talk some more. We didn’t ask about your family drama every single day all day sir. Put a lid on it.
The Food Stealer. We’ve been looking forward to our good leftovers from date night at Olive Garden all day. Then we find out your hungry hippo a$$ stole ’em. We can’t prove it but we see that Alfredo stain or your collar.Gross and greedy.
Always sick. Not sure why you’re always coughing and sneezing but the least you could do is cover your mouth and wash your hands since you refuse to stay home.
The backhanded complimenter. She tells you your dress is very nice for such an ugly color or that you look good since you finally lost weight. At first you thought it was flattery but on second thought you’re not quite sure what jut happened.
The slob. This person is just a hot ass mess. Spilling coffee on the copier, gum on the carpet, crumbs in the chair, worse than a toddler, crusty as they wanna be.
The super-professional. They have on a 3-piece suit on casual Friday, following you around reciting the rules and counting paperclips. You just wanna slap them with a pack of post-it notes.
The over-greeter. They speak to you 3 times in the morning, twice at lunch, every time you’re in the break room, in the hallway and again in the bathroom. Enough already. Creepy.
The Know-It-All. They just love to say “well actually”. Quick to volunteer information that nobody asked for, quote a guideline, make a PowerPoint, recite the company history and learn Dothraki so they can look good at the water cooler talking about last night’s Game of Thrones, this person does way too much. All the time.
The Perv. He’s always hovering around your desk a little too long wearing Old Spice, offering neck massages and trying to sneak and smell your hair. You don’t wanna get stuck in the elevator with this guy. Back up off me bro.
The dingbat. This kook would spell their own name wrong if somebody didn’t help them out. You’re not quite sure how they got the job (maybe they’re the bosses cousin) but you wish they would get off the register and go back to washing lettuce. Then again they might mess that up too.
The Inappropriate One. She shows up to the office looking like she’s headed to a booty model casting call. Body glitter, purple lashes and her cakes are out. Draya swimwear is not considered business casual, boo.