Dear Bossip: I Met A Guy, But I Slept With His Older Brother years Ago

Dear Bossip,

I am a mid 30 year old single woman who has been dating this guy that I really like.

However, I had sex with his older brother 10 years ago when I was really loose. His brother and I messed around twice for money, and then afterward we have remained really cool with one another; always talking once a week or so.

Then, I met the younger brother at a party for their family. We talked and texted that night only to hook-up later on that night. Now, six months later, the whole family knows. The big brother goes around our mutual friends asking what do they think about our relationship (that we don’t have).

Now, it’s just a big headache, but me and the younger brother do care about each other. We really didn’t think of it as being a big deal. I stopped calling the younger brother, but he still calls and wants to hang out. But, I am sick of going back and forth with his family because he tells me what they say behind my back. Something that was supposed to be a fun fling turned wrong. – Dating Gone Wrong

Dear Ms. Dating Gone Wrong,

Well, I think you need to pump the brakes and slow down. Did it ever occur to you while you were at the party for the family, and when you met the younger brother, that this would potentially go horribly wrong? Did it dawn on you that exchanging numbers and texting with the younger brother of the older brother that you slept with previously would not be a good idea? Did you even think to consider that sleeping with him on the same night that you met him was probably too soon, as:

1.) You don’t really know him.

2.) He’s the younger brother of the older brother you slept with, and you slept with him for money.

3.) The younger brother would go back and tell the older brother he slept with you, and they may not have anything favorable to say about you.

4.) Again, you slept with him the same night you met him and you don’t really know him, so what do you think the family would say or think about you, especially since you slept with the older brother as well.

5.) And, you basically fall under the category of hoe-dom!

Ma’am, you’re grown. You’re in your mid thirties. You can do whatever the hell you want to do. However, I’m going to need for you to act your age, and not like a grown a** THOT! What woman sleeps with the brother of a man she used to sleep with, and you used to sleep with him for money? For money? Really?!? You offered that tidbit of information that you slept with the older brother for money, and you had the audacity to say when you were younger you were loose? Face palm! I can’t!

Sweetie, you are still loose! HELLO! You slept with a man on the same night you met him. And, he is the younger brother of the man you used to sleep with 10 years ago!!! That is trifling. That is disgusting and low down. Have some damn dignity. Hell, if you were going to sleep with a family member why not let it be a cousin, a distant cousin.

Look, you did the right thing by stop calling the younger brother. It’s too messy. And, who wants to put up with all that drama anyway. The older brother obviously feels some type of way, and he is not too happy about it. He is the main gossip monger stirring up drama. He’s getting family and friends involved with something that happened 10 years ago between you and he. So, maybe he wanted something more, or perhaps, he probably finds it nasty and disgusting that you are sleeping with his younger brother. Who knows, and who cares. One thing is that you can stop communication with the both of them.

The older brother is not your friend, and his behavior has demonstrated that you and he were not as cool as you thought you were. He’s putting you on blast, and all your business in the streets. So, therefore, it’s obvious to see you and he were not friends, not cool, and not even friendly. I bet he wanted to smash again, and was waiting for the opportune time for it to happen. That is the only reason he was so-called cool with you. Therefore, cut him off.

In regards to the young brother who is still calling and wants to hang out, simply let him know that it will not work. You do not want to be involved in drama, and, it’s not a good idea that you two continue any type of relationship, friendly or otherwise. Why is he running back telling you what the family is saying? It’s obvious that it bothers him if he feels the need to tell you what is being said. And, trust me, he doesn’t want to hang out, he wants to have sex again. He will never take you serious, even if he wanted to, because the family and his brother will continue to talk, stir up drama, and keep the mess going of how you slept with the both of them. So, end it, move on, and tell him to stop calling and texting.

And, I’m going to need for you to work on yourself, your self-respect, and your dignity. Do not sleep with a man on the same night you meet him at a party. You know nothing about him. I do hope you used a condom, and even afterward you went to the doctor to get a check-up. You have to use better judgment, and you should think the entire thing through before you go from 0 to 100.

Ask yourself, is this a good thing to do? Do I really know him? What is his sexual health status? How am I honoring myself, and my body? Do I need to go through with this to prove something? Will I respect myself afterward? Do I respect myself now?

Take the time to get to know you. Get to know what you deserve, what you desire, and who you want to be in relation to a man. Stop allowing yourself to be some random THOT who men do not respect. You are too old to be acting the way you are. Respect yourself. Respect your body. And, stop this loose act, didn’t you learn anything from T.D. Jakes when he said, “Woman, thou are loose?” – Terrance Dean

Photo source: Shuttershock

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