Dear Bossip: I'm Married, Pregnant & Cheating On My Husband With Two Men

Dear Bossip,

I am 7 months pregnant with my second child and I have been married to my husband for 10 years.

Throughout our marriage he has produced another child with another woman. He has gotten us evicted from 3 different apartments, and he barely pays any bills.

This past year I have found myself falling out of love with him. I have been talking to two different guys. One guy I met last summer and we began a sexual relationship. I thought He was everything. We had great chemistry. I never used a condom with him and when he found out I was pregnant the relationship stopped. My husband thinks that the baby is his, but I have my doubts.

The second guy is engaged to his long-term girlfriend of 13 years and we meet up every Friday. The sex is great, but emotionally he does nothing for me.

I want to be happy with my husband. I have tried counseling, but he won’t change. I don’t want to raise two children on my own. I just want to be loved. I feel so alone and desperate to have someone in my life. What do I do? – Fed Up

Dear Ms. Fed Up,

Ma’am, really? Why, oh why, are you in this marriage? Why, oh why, are you sleeping with three different men? Why, oh why, are you hoping your husband will change? And, lawd, why, oh why, you are 7 months pregnant and you don’t even know who the father of your child is?

Your broken marriage has caused you to become a broken woman. And, when you’re broken you make choices and do things that are irrational and detrimental. Instead of walking away from your husband after he produced another child with another woman, you chose to stay. Instead of leaving your husband, not after the first time you got evicted, but you chose to stay even after being evicted from three different apartments. Now, you’re sleeping with two other men because you’re lonely, you want to be loved, and you’re desperate to have someone in your life. So, you put yourself, your marriage, and your family all at risk for what?

Then, on top of it, you’re sleeping with one man and having unprotected sex, and you’re pregnant. Not only were you not concerned about your health and body, but you didn’t even think about the dangers he could possibly put you at risk with. You don’t know what diseases this man could have had, or potentially have gotten from other women. If he was sleeping with you and not using protection, then think about the other women he was also sleeping with and not using protection. Yeah, don’t be so naïve to think you’re the only one he was sleeping with.

Now, you’re pregnant, and he’s stopped communicating with you. WOW! He doesn’t want to deal with you or your baggage, and he dropped you and is treating you like the side chick hoe you allowed yourself to be.

I’m curious to know what is so appealing about your husband that you remain in the marriage. He’s cheated on you, produced another child, got you evicted, doesn’t pay the bills, and basically treats you like some random chick on the street. He doesn’t love or care about you or your marriage. So, why did you stay? Why not leave after you learned he cheated? Why not leave after you discovered his love child with another woman?

You can’t put all the blame on him when you retaliate and do the same things he’s doing in the relationship. You’re just as guilty and a culprit in this demise of your marriage as he is. Counseling will solve nothing because you’re two people who are not in love with one another. You’re two people who are cheating and trying to find solace and happiness with other people. You don’t belong together. Counseling will not fix your marriage. A divorce will!

So, get the divorce. Stop waiting, and stop hoping your husband will change. He will not. He’s consistently shown you who he is, so believe him. And, you need therapy yourself. Sleeping with random men will not bring love into your life. Nor, will sleeping with men make them love you and prevent you from being lonely. It just shows your desperation and THOTness. Love is not between your legs. Love is not laying on your back. Love is not being under some man’s nut sac.

I get you don’t want to be alone with two children, but sweetie you already are alone. Your husband is absent from the marriage mentally and emotionally. He is only there physically. And, as the saying goes, “You can do bad all by yourself.” Leave, get out of this marriage, and save yourself. The longer you stay the more destruction you will do to yourself and your children. And, at some point you’re going to have to get a DNA test on your unborn child to determine who the father is. Which means you will have to be honest with your husband about your affair. Grow up, stop being a child, and close your legs. It’s time to make some adult decisions, and be about your business. – Terrance Dean

Photo courtesy: Shutterstock

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