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Negrodamus Believes when a strong independent women finally meets her match she becomes the needy, clingy, overly dependent of me female we all dislike.

wow, truth if i eva heard it.

Oh I am so weak, easy it aint even funny/

being loud does not equal strong !

shut up and observe some damn things sometimes

@the Ladies

You got to let a man be a man.

@LovingLife – enuff said

@ Negro

I agree with you on that. BUt when he isn’t stepping up and we have to start handling business to make sure that the home is taken care of, then how do you suggest we handle that?

blah blah blee, blee blah blah…some women are the good kinda strong and some are the bad, too proud types and it’s not color specific, black people just get blamed for everything.

Because she came in because she wanted me to teach her how to ride…you cannot teach that

heeey JB

I told her Just Do It like Nike

There is a very bold line between strong and being a loud-mouthed b*tch. Many dont know the difference.

whas hapnin Pimpin

Morning Pimpin!

I do believe that a man shoul dlead the family inthe right direction. But if he doesn’t, does that mean I have to sit back and let us go astray?

Only 2 Misogynists? Where are the rest of you? I thought you would all be on here whimpering and stomping your feet like rumpelstiltskin.

Hey Purp!!

What’s going on with you?

I was liek it is liek this….you give head, I don’t. I ride, you don’t. She couldn’t really expalin how she said he just busted in her mouth and she didn’t even know…she said he was like damn. I was like…oh, you must be good.

Hey Pimpin!

Hey Prrple!

No backtrack, he didn’t know he busted

Most times when a black woman is speaking her mind nobody asked her for her opinion in the first place. Just another sad attempt to get some attention from a black man. THEY DON’T LIKE U!!! SHUT THE F*%#@ UP!!!

Strong lonely woman.. is all that power really worth it.

@JB

“I agree with you on that. BUt when he isn’t stepping up and we have to start handling business
to make sure that the home is taken care of, then how do you suggest we handle that?”

————————————————–

That should be evident in the preliminary hearings. While ya’ll dating check his crib. If the dude aint got a wrench set, aint never fixed your cable or your car while ya’ll was dating he probably isn’t going to be effective in other areas.

A dude isn’t just going to malfunction unless he loses his job or you knock the confidence out of his step.

Then she said she was gonna spread a rumor on Facebook if I didn’t teach ehr lol.. I was like I ain’t evebn on ther elol

There is a major distinction between a black woman that is independent and respectful and the black woman that thinks she’s indepedent because she can buy a whole bunch of insignificant things on her own and is just loud and ghetto. The problem is that there is not a proper distinction between the two. A black woman can be independent and still be respectful cater and respect her man. Know one owes us black women anything but respect, and that only comes when we respect ourselves. Let’s not generalize this subject because there are some black women who are just down right embarrassing to the sisterhood

Hi TRS, Still I rise, Still I rise…

CYE

Well gotta go to work. Bye!

Most times when a black woman is speaking her mind nobody asked her for her opinion in the first place. Just another sad attempt to get some attention from a black man. THEY DON’T LIKE U!!! SHUT THE F*%#@ UP!!!
—-

not every black woman wants a black man so that statement is totally irrelevant and used to start shit, grow up

@ Pimpin

Do you think black women should be submissive in the relationship, whether wife, live-in, or should we be your equal?

JB -Working it out for her Stripper and her PT

@ Pimpin

Do you think black women should be submissive in the relationship, whether wife, live-in, or should we be your equal?

Submission comes from trust and a COMMITTMENT, but how can a man expect submission if he has no clear cut mission and is going in circles? A sista is strong she will not blindly walk in circles without saying “What are we doing”?, MARRIAGE is where submission happens, you can’t expect a throne when you aint trying to make no home! Lets be real and on point here.

@JB -Working it out for her Stripper and her PT

@ Pimpin

Do you think black women should be submissive in the relationship, whether wife, live-in, or should we be your equal?

So to answer your question yes submission is necessary, for the man takes responsibility for the woman in a marriage, he is judged for her sins. But most people these days have no idea what they are getting into, the level of responsibility involved in a marriage!

Hello NSP

“being loud does not equal strong !”

neither does being weak. maybe the black man should observe.

Hey Lady A!

Hey Lady A

SO WHAT’S A GUY’S DEFINITEION OF SUBMISSIVE?

“@the Ladies

You got to let a man be a man.”

well stand up and be a man and stop hiding behind a woman skirt while she does it for you. black men act like the black woman doesn’t want him to stand up and be a damn man cause she wants to do it all. she HAS to do it all and there is a big difference.

“being loud does not equal strong !”
__________________________________________________________
When men start being submissive in a relationship also, women will soon follow.

Sumission can not apply to today’s times. Women are exposed to different facets of life while being in the workforce. Some of them have to be very aggressive with their words depending on what her job entails and now that women are able to follow their dreams, realistically they can’t do half of the things that they were needed to do in acient times, if they did them they would age before their time

A strong black woman knows her position.She can have a career,take care of her home/children and she would still be able to admit she needs her man.Women amd men are not and will never be equal-it would never be possible for the two to think alike.Any woman should be able to speak her mind,but a true lady knows how to do it with finesse.

why is it that everytime black women are called upon for evaluation they always feel they have to bring the black man into it?

“Morning Pimpin!

I do believe that a man shoul dlead the family inthe right direction. But if he doesn’t, does that mean I have to sit back and let us go astray?”

BIBLE.

notice how they never seem to have an answer for that? i been asking that for a few days now with no answer at all. i guess we are all supposed to fail so the black man can feel like the head of household. how selfish can the black man be? **rolls eyes**

Black women sound foolish when they state ‘strong’ black woman. No other female of other races state that. They show it. Saying ur strong doesnt sound strong, it sounds weak and like ur trying to put up ur guard. Guys dont wanna hear that. Have you ever heard a white or latina woman that? How about being a loving woman..who happens to be black

LADY ARCHITECT…TRUE TACTICIAN

SO WHAT’S A GUY’S DEFINITEION OF SUBMISSIVE?

Trusting her HUSBANDS leadership of her and their family.

“why is it that everytime black women are called upon for evaluation they always feel they have to bring the black man into it?”

cause the black man plays a very big role in alot of the anger the black woman harbors yet he seems to always want to put her out there over it. its time for him to see how bitter he has made the black woman while he’s out there doggin her.

JustinTime

Black women sound foolish when they state ’strong’ black woman. No other female of other races state that. They show it. Saying ur strong doesnt sound strong, it sounds weak and like ur trying to put up ur guard. Guys dont wanna hear that. Have you ever heard a white or latina woman that? How about being a loving woman..who happens to be black
____________________________________________________________
How do you know, that we’re not loving women? I so happen to love with everything I have, I’ll be damn to let my family suffer. If I have to hold down the fort and be the main provider, I will. Letting my children suffer, would kill me. I rather be without, before my children do.

Black women sound foolish when they state ’strong’ black woman. No other female of other races state that. They show it. Saying ur strong doesnt sound strong, it sounds weak and like ur trying to put up ur guard. Guys dont wanna hear that. Have you ever heard a white or latina woman that? How about being a loving woman..who happens to be black
—

last time I checked black women have always needed to be strong in nature, I can’t ever remember latino or white women needing to stay strong or put off that type of energy, correct me if i’m wrong. If a man has a problem with hearing a woman use a positive notion to describe herself then maybe that man needs to reevaluate his inner being because that sounds like an insecurity to me

This is from the article to this thread. So men please elaborate with your thoughts:

Let me remind everyone that black women are strong by nature. When our men were brutally killed and/or taken away, we led the household. But, not by choice. We’ve been force-fed this idea of superhuman strength for centuries. When our men marched, we marched. We our men were slain while fighting for justice, we picked up the torch, bounced the baby on our hips and carried on. No one will ever love a black man, like a black woman. It’s a love that’s deep-rooted in our souls; a kinship perfected over time. And, now we’re being crucified for the very thing that shapes our identities as black women.

Too many corny conversations between “buddies” on this one… I’m out.

@ Purp

LOL. I thought this was good.

Let me remind everyone that black women are strong by nature. When our men were brutally killed and/or taken away, we led the household. But, not by choice. We’ve been force-fed this idea of superhuman strength for centuries. When our men marched, we marched. We our men were slain while fighting for justice, we picked up the torch, bounced the baby on our hips and carried on. No one will ever love a black man, like a black woman. It’s a love that’s deep-rooted in our souls; a kinship perfected over time. And, now we’re being crucified for the very thing that shapes our identities as black women.
___________________________________________________________
Now that’s what I call a post! Kudos to you JB, kudos.

“Have you ever heard a white or latina woman that? How about being a loving woman..who happens to be black”

why does the black man feel so threatened at the black woman calling herself strong? you don’t hear that from other races of women because they are not forced to be string in the way the black woman is inasmuch as she plays the role of both sexes in her community. they are not forced to be the strong independent membersof society that the black man forces the black woman to be.

alot of these sassy sistas had no male role model growning up so they dont know how to let the man be the man. thats why there are so many single divas smh

so now that there is this feeling that black men made black women angry, what next? Are black women going to continue to complain about it or do something and if so what?

“Most times when a black woman is speaking her mind nobody asked her for her opinion in the first place. Just another sad attempt to get some attention from a black man. THEY DON’T LIKE U!!! SHUT THE F*%#@ UP!!!”

Most poeple aren’t asked fror their opinion when they state them. Its called speaking your mind and being part of the discussion. why should the black woman have to sit back and shut up. and since when is speaking your mind seeking attention from the black man. the black woman is the head of her race and the only female in society that can say that. she doesn’t need to seek approval from the black man.

HONESTLY I DON’T FEEL THAT THE WORD “STRONG” NEEDS TO BE PUT IN FRONT OF BLACK WOMAN…WE ARE NATURALLY STRONG POINT BLANK…NOW FOR THE OTHER BLACK WOMEN WHO GET THEMSELVES INTO STUPID SITUATIONS AND IS NOT ABOUT ANYTHING…MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE CALLED MISGUIDED BLACK WOMEN OR LAZY BLACK WOMEN…SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES…I DON’T NEED TO PUT STRONG IN FRONT OF WHAT I AM…BLACK WOMAN IS A NOUN AND ADJECTIVE ALL IN ONE

and I don’t understand this whole “let a man be a man”, I didn’t know all men were the same who’s to say this applies to every man

LOL and waiting for the black woman bashing to begin!

I’m single and independent (no kids) and sometimes u have to stand up for yourself. From experience, a strong brother can appreciate when u are being bold, especially if you have the right intentions and his best intersts at hand.

You draw bees with honey not vinegar. Sometimes, being pushy and overly-aggressive is not a good look or the way to get what u want.

I know a lot of women who think they way to keep their man is by emascualting and embarrassing them every time he does something she doesn’t like. That’s when they get dumped for another woman (or the race things becomes an issue).

We have to use our “attitude” only when it is completely necessary. But only a true lady with “her head on straight” would know when that is. No one wants a woman who is bitter and angry all the damn time.

pm

alot of these sassy sistas had no male role model growning up so they dont know how to let the man be the man. thats why there are so many single divas smh

I CAN AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT…

pm

alot of these sassy sistas had no male role model growning up so they dont know how to let the man be the man. thats why there are so many single divas smh
________________________________________________________
Oh really? I so happen to come from, a two parent household. My dad was in every aspect of my life, and he still is. I want my husband to be a as strong, as my own father is. My dad taught me what it is to survive in this world, and how I’m suppose to act as a woman. I’m very respectable in person, but I know when I need to hold it down.

alot of these sassy sistas had no male role model growning up so they dont know how to let the man be the man. thats why there are so many single divas smh
@pm
Sad but true.

“There is a major distinction between a black woman that is independent and respectful and the black woman that thinks she’s indepedent because she can buy a whole bunch of insignificant things on her own and is just loud and ghetto.”

why do posters here say ignorant junk like this? the blcak woman is independent because she can do for herself by herself. i think the black man is jealous because he cannot and needs a woman to live off. this has nothing to do with buying insignificant things. it has to do with keeping up a household, working, paying rent and putting food on the table by herself instead of crumbling like most other races of women do once a man decides that he’s leaving. give credit where credit is due. sistas do a damn good job for the only race of women who so consistently have to do it alone – and still carry a black man. stop the hate and appreciate. dont hate cause a sista dont need you the way you need her.

@Hmm.. woman who grown up with there fathers in there lives treat men totally different then the ones they had no father.

NOW LET’S KEEP IT REAL THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STRONG BLACK WOMAN AND A SMART BLACK WOMAN. A STRONG BLACK WOMAN WILL SPEAK HER MIND AND PUT THE NEXT PERSON IN THEIR PLACE BECAUSE SHE KNOW THAT SHE IS HOLDING IT DOWN FOR HERSELF AND HER FAMILY, AND YES MEN OR SHOULD I SAY PEOPLE IN GENERAL WOULD PROBABLY THINK THAT SHE IS BEING A SMART ASS, WHEN SHE REALLY ISNT ALL SHE IS SAYING IS THAT I RUN THIS SHOW I KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH TO GET TO WHERE I AM AT TODAY SO YOU CANT TELL ME NOTHING, ON THE OTHER HAND YOU HAVE BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE JUST SMART ASSES AND TELLING PEOPLE OF WHOM DONT HAVE A JOB RUN THE STREETS NOT TAKING CARE OF THEMSELVES OR CHILDREN NOT DOING ANYTHING TO MAKE THEMSELVES BETTER, BUT YET AND STILL THEY WALK AROUND TRYING TO TELL THE NEXT PERSON WHAT THEY SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT DO BUT THEY DONT HAVE A POT TO PISS IN OR A WINDOW TO THROW IT OUT OF SO I DONT CONSIDER THEM STRONG BLACK WOMEN I CONSIDER THEM WANNABEE’S AND TO ME THAT IS NOT A STRONG BLACK WOMAN, SO LET’S NOT GET IT CONFUSED THERE ARE STRONG BLACK WOMEN AND THERE ARE HUNG BLACK WOMEN AND THOSE ARE THE ONES THAT HANG THEMSELVES OUT TO DRY, AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY I AM A STRONG BLACK WOMAN.

co-sign with elle and CAT EYES

@ Purp

LOL. I thought this was good.
********
idunno, sounds like the same ole’ “barely scratching the surface” rhetoric discussed time and time over to me.

@ Lady A

HONESTLY I DON’T FEEL THAT THE WORD “STRONG” NEEDS TO BE PUT IN FRONT OF BLACK WOMAN…WE ARE NATURALLY STRONG POINT BLANK…NOW FOR THE OTHER BLACK WOMEN WHO GET THEMSELVES INTO STUPID SITUATIONS AND IS NOT ABOUT ANYTHING…MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE CALLED MISGUIDED BLACK WOMEN OR LAZY BLACK WOMEN…SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES…I DON’T NEED TO PUT STRONG IN FRONT OF WHAT I AM…BLACK WOMAN IS A NOUN AND ADJECTIVE ALL IN ONE
———————————————–

Cosign….

“Let me remind everyone that black women are strong by nature. When our men were brutally killed and/or taken away, we led the household. But, not by choice. We’ve been force-fed this idea of superhuman strength for centuries. When our men marched, we marched. We our men were slain while fighting for justice, we picked up the torch, bounced the baby on our hips and carried on. No one will ever love a black man, like a black woman. It’s a love that’s deep-rooted in our souls; a kinship perfected over time. And, now we’re being crucified for the very thing that shapes our identities as black women.’

BIBLE!

“alot of these sassy sistas had no male role model growning up so they dont know how to let the man be the man. thats why there are so many single divas smh”

wow you mean your not in here today encouraging black men to live off and use women like you were yesterday?

kudos to a black man for finally realizing the role absent fathers play in how a black girl will grow up to view a man.

So with the last sentence, is Becky considered the easy win?

I wish they wouldn’t post ish like this that is obviously meant to stir up drama between black men and women.

Can we not argue today? lol

@DaHonestTruth ~ Turn ..lol i was just messin around yesterday

I know both strong and ignorant sistas, the strong ones say little but do alot and are the source of great pride while the ignorant ones talk about how strong they are while doing very little and leaving me puzzled…..ah theres nothing more attractive than a strong woman.

“@DaHonestTruth ~ Turn ..lol i was just messin around yesterday”

thats good to know

@ Pimpin

When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?
————————————————

I could almost kiss you for saying this!!!

UMMMM MAN SO WHAT’S YOUR INTELLECTUAL COMMENT TODAY?…

Oh please, with this whole bogus argument and train of thought.

The whole persona of the “strong Black woman” was promoted as another angle to keep the Black family at odds with it’s natural legacy. Sad thing is Black people were the main champions of this damaged way of thinking.

This is a primary reason there are so few INTACT Black families today. Women fell out of their traditional and natural roles. And many to this day remain in a state of relational confusion.

Most say they want a man, a real man, but should they happen to be lucky enough to get with said real man, everything they think they know and were taught, flies right in the face of what they need to do and be interms of a relationship with a man.

Ergo, most can’t keep or even get a real man. That’s why so many end up making babies with man-boys who are not capable of being men. Most of whom were raised by these same supposed strong women.

Then, the cycle continues….

“@ Pimpin

When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?
————————————————

I could almost kiss you for saying this!!! ”

me too. i wonder this myself.

trs (I COME IN PEACE)

@ Pimpin

When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?
————————————————

I could almost kiss you for saying this!!!

Personally I won’t holla at a sista that does not set off that *Kill Bill time to fight alarm*

Unless a woman is doing everything by herself, she can’t tell me sh!t!!!!! All I need them for is a quick lay. I make and got my own, so why should I listen to the SH!T?????

This is a primary reason there are so few INTACT Black families today. Women fell out of their traditional and natural roles. And many to this day remain in a state of relational confusion.
———————————————-

*Just to be clear: are you saying that Black women bear the majority of the responsibility for the decline of Black families?*

When women were less mouthy they were always put first. “Women and Children” are always put first. When you start tryna act like a dude then you get treated like a dude…Then u cant handle it!1!

“This is a primary reason there are so few INTACT Black families today. Women fell out of their traditional and natural roles. And many to this day remain in a state of relational confusion.”

FELL OUT OF TRADITION? are you kidding me? more like was PUSHED out of tradition by black men who FELL out of the tradition of being the head of his household and taking care of his family. the black woman did not ask to have to play the role of both the black man and black woman in this society.

@ Pimpin

Personally I won’t holla at a sista that does not set off that *Kill Bill time to fight alarm*
————————————————–

LOL well I am glad that you are not one of those men who prefer subservient women.

“Ergo, most can’t keep or even get a real man. That’s why so many end up making babies with man-boys who are not capable of being men. Most of whom were raised by these same supposed strong women. ”

i love the way the black man makes comments like htisiwthout ever acknowledging the role he plays in this ‘cycle’ when he keeps up the ‘cycle’ of disappearing on his families.

@TRS
“This is a primary reason there are so few INTACT Black families today. Women fell out of their traditional and natural roles. And many to this day remain in a state of relational confusion.
———————————————-

*Just to be clear: are you saying that Black women bear the majority of the responsibility for the decline of Black families?*”
________________________________________________________________

Does it matter?

black men going to become worthy opponents??? when did it become a battle over the roles in the family.

@PM
“black men going to become worthy opponents??? when did it become a battle over the roles in the family.”
______________________________________________________________

That’s what I was thinking. “easy wins” and “worthy opponents”

are we a “family” are we bout to get into some “gladiator” shit?

Another confusing aspect of Black “relationship” dichotomy is this:

“When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?”

More flawed thinking, appearantly from males and females. Think about it, in most cultures (even our own before we got all mentally jacked up) relationships between men and women (marriage) is considered a cohesive effort, how can you have cohesion with statements clearly based in an adversarial core?

“Worthy opponet?” Hell that statement alone says a whole lot about the mentalities and attitudes and why we are so fractured as a people today…

@ MIJDC

Does it matter?
—————————————–

Yes, it matters. The fact of the matter is that both brothas and sistas equally share the responsibility for the currect state or decline of the Black family. I have found that *some* of the dudes on here love to lop the onus of the decline of the Black family on the sistas ALONE. Both sexs are to blame.

trs (I COME IN PEACE)

@ Pimpin

Personally I won’t holla at a sista that does not set off that *Kill Bill time to fight alarm*
————————————————–

LOL well I am glad that you are not one of those men who prefer subservient women.

I’m strong as bam bam from the brain to the frame, my rib is gone be the same way!

“black men going to become worthy opponents??? when did it become a battle over the roles in the family.”

when the black woman was forced into playing her role and that of the black man.

THEY HAD A CLASS IN SCHOOL ABOUT MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY…IT WAS ACTUALLY A GREAT COURSE….PEOPLE NEED TO LOOK INTO THAT

Yes, it matters. The fact of the matter is that both brothas and sistas equally share the responsibility for the currect state or decline of the Black family. I have found that *some* of the dudes on here love to lop the onus of the decline of the Black family on the sistas ALONE. Both sexs are to blame.
______________________________________________________________

Yes, but the original statement never stated that women, AND WOMEN ALONE, were solely responsible.

Even with that being said, the true question is HOW DO WE CHANGE IT?

“More flawed thinking, appearantly from males and females. Think about it, in most cultures (even our own before we got all mentally jacked up) relationships between men and women (marriage) is considered a cohesive effort, how can you have cohesion with statements clearly based in an adversarial core?”

the black man broke that ‘cohesion’ when he decided that after playing a big role in the bringing down of his race he would run off to other races while putting down his own without ever acknowledging the role he plays in where his own race is today. the black man treats the woman just like his adversary.

@DA HONEST TRUTH
““black men going to become worthy opponents??? when did it become a battle over the roles in the family.”
_____________________________________________________________

when the black woman was forced into playing her role and that of the black man.”
______________________________________________________________

Nobody can be forced to do anything. But for the sake of argument explain why you feel black women were “forced” into this role.

“Yes, but the original statement never stated that women, AND WOMEN ALONE, were solely responsible. ”

even if the statement didnt say it i have seen black men on this board say it many times. i was just in a thread yesterday where it was being said.

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“the black man broke that ‘cohesion’ when he decided that after playing a big role in the bringing down of his race he would run off to other races while putting down his own without ever acknowledging the role he plays in where his own race is today. the black man treats the woman just like his adversary.”
___________________________________________________________

The same he way he doesn’t acknowledge building the race in the first place, protecting the race the entire time AND rebuilding the race? You mean sorta like that?

“When you start tryna act like a dude then you get treated like a dude…”

CORRECTION: when you are FORCED to act likea dude. black woman didnt ask to play the black mans role. the black woman was forced into playing the black mans role.

@ MIJDC

Yes, but the original statement never stated that women, AND WOMEN ALONE, were solely responsible.

Even with that being said, the true question is HOW DO WE CHANGE IT
———————————————–

When I made the comment it was made in reference to my orginal post at 1:27. I just wanted to get that clarified…

As far as how do we change it, if we knew the answer to that question all of these problems would be solved. lol

First, Black men and women need to declare a “cease fire” because we have been at war with each other for too long….Black women blaming Black men for all the BS that goes on in our communities and vs. versa.

We need to get back to the days where men were men and a woman could just be a woman instead of slaving like a man to raise her children because her man walked off and left her to bear his share of the responsibility. Ladies have work to do too…We need to get back to the days of respecting our men for assuming their proper role of headship and learn to “submit” to our men in the traditional family arrangement. When a man is submissive to his woman, she will surely follow.

The comments have be chuckling to myself wondering if some of you truly believe the words you type-anyways! How is everyone?

[[[[[[ most intelligent STRONG BLACK WOMEN SPEAK THEIR MINDS WHEN LOGICAL SITUATIONS OCCURS!!!! FOR SOME MEN WHO THINK SISTERS THAT GET LOUD AND BOOST UNINTELLIGABLE NONSENSE BUT ALWAYS SAYING (I AM A STRONG BLACK WOMEN) THEY ARE STRONG TOO; BUT ONLY IN THEIR WORLD OF HAVING TO SURVIVE EVERYDAY STRESSORS & CHAOS IN THEIR LIVES! SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE STRONG AND IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW THEY REACT TO THEIR SURROUNDINGS & ENVIRONMENT! THEIR DEGREES OF EDUCATION & UPBRINGING! THE BETTER UPBRINGING; THE MORE POSITIVE INTELLECTUAL STRONG BLACK WOMAN, THE MORE NEGATIVE UPBRINGING, THE LESS EDUCATED STRONG BLACK WOMAN!!!!

be=me

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“even if the statement didnt say it i have seen black men on this board say it many times. i was just in a thread yesterday where it was being said.”
_____________________________________________________________

So in this thread, after YOU acknowledged the mistakes of “people” other than black males like you requested black males do in your post at 1:37 pm….

What was said after that? Surely you acknowledged the mistakes of others besides black males…. right?

I can go on and on about this, so that was not comprehensive.

Any poster with swag,stunna, or other ghetto slang words in their username automatically surrenders 5 merit points when ranking their intellectual ability. j/k Proceed with the discussion….

@TRS
“This is a primary reason there are so few INTACT Black families today. Women fell out of their traditional and natural roles. And many to this day remain in a state of relational confusion.”
______________________________________________________________

This was the original statement that you commented on. It does NOT say that women are SOLELY responsible. The word “primary” IMPLIES that there are OTHER contributing reasons….

I’m just sayin.

@ Mista O

Only until our women bought in to the womens liberation movement, did you see an almost wholesale exodus of Black men from the family unit.
———————————————

I totally disagree on this. IMHO, the women’s lib moment contributed to the downfall of families PERIOD, not just Black families. We were too concerned with “civil” rights to be caught up in the white woman’s struggle for liberation.

You make it sound as if Black women are just willing to set up with any and everything…which is true *for some women.* But there are numerous Black men with the same mentality as well.

When the government began to reward “single parent familes” with government benefits, this is when the true decline of black families began.

@ Man IJDC

And this is why I asked for clarification at 1:27.

This entire article is total bullsh*t.

always knew,
I AGREE WITH YOU SO MUCH….I WOULD SUBMIT TO AN ALPHA MALE TOO…

@ Sydney

I did it because I knew that you would have something valuable to contribute, and I was right.

@always knew
PERFECT!!! Your post was great to read and I absolutely agree with you. I can see how much you love your husband just by reading that. LoL BTW, I don’t know if it’s my hormones or what but ur post also made me tear up. LMAO Ok, I need to go call the husband.

And stop throwing “strong” in front of black woman. That doesn’t feel threatning, it looks stupid. Why claim that you’re strong when actions speak louder than words? Hearing “I’m a STRONG black woman” is just annoying as shit.

@TRS
“And this is why I asked for clarification at 1:27.”
_____________________________________________________________

If you already knew that both side bore some responsiblity than why would you need “clarificaion?”

Which is why I asked “why does it matter?”

@TRS

Yea I can see how all familes were impacted, but looking at the Black community, clearly we have experienced more long term impact from this than other groups.

We’ve been decimated by the decline of the family unit. That’s why Black are repeatedly marginalized within this society. When other groups know you have no family structure, or the foundation (Father) is non-existent, they have no respect for you as a people.

Look at how the hispanics continue to prosper in our country, most of whom are relatively new arrivals. Most of their success is based on how they carry a UNIT. They put very little premium on the success of individuals…

@ MIJDC

If you already knew that both side bore some responsiblity than why would you need “clarificaion?”

Which is why I asked “why does it matter?”
———————————————–

I asked for clarification because I wanted to know what the poster was specifically saying with regard to WHO shares the responsibility. Just because I know what I mean doesn’t mean that I am a mind reader.

THis was the beginning of the article. I guess I shoul dhave posted this first:

Why are black men so threatened by strong black women? What’s even worse is that I find that some of the strongest men actually prefer a docile woman. Have black men become so mentally and spiritually weak that they no longer appreciate the worth of a strong black woman? Oh, and, I hate the cliché’s: 1. Black women have too much attitude. (The same attitude your mother gave you to put that fear in your heart about those slipping grades that got you through school) 2. Black women are too loud. (You never seem to mind it when we’re busy sticking up for you.) 3. Black women are too bossy. (In this day in age, we’d rather give you a command than a suggestion, especially when we know your life is at stake. So, if I come across as bossy when I tell you that you should be applying for this job instead of that one because I know how brilliant you really are, or when I say you should eat this and not eat that because I want you to live far past the estimated age of black men, excuse me for loving you that much. I’m sorry.)

I don’t think there is anything wrong being a strong, black woman. Nothing wrong at all. BUT, I think what black women have to understand is that stereo type’s is all people see, especially with the black community. Now, I am a woman, not a black woman, but a minority all the same. And black woman have a certain way they talk, reprent themselves and probably dont know it. The way they deliver their point is sometimes, pushy and un-civil. Their are polite ways to do something, and MOST black woman will talk loud and use slang words, and raise their voice almost trying too hard to be intimidating. But it only comes across classless, obnoxious & improper. Being out-spoken is a good quality to have, but being rude is not. And some get it twisted and think they can say and do whatever they want. Not in the real world. Believe it or not, people do have manners and practice them. It wouldnt hurt to tone down the attitude and brush up on some manners.

It all goes back treating people the way you want to be treated. If you want RESPECT, then you have to give it. You are not entitled to anything in this world. You get what you give.

“Nobody can be forced to do anything. But for the sake of argument explain why you feel black women were “forced” into this role.”

I have been answering this all through this thread. she was forced to play his role when due to his chronic absence he wouldn’t. why wont anyone answer the question of what the black woman should have done once the black man wasn’t around to play his role. sholdshe have just sat back and let the family and household fail?

@ MistaO

Well said. I agree with everything that you said.

alls i know is when my divorce goes through i am done with black men…finito or how ever you spell it

i think i’ll take my chances with white dudes. i’ve given up hope in black men ever having any real respect for us. all hope is lost.

I mean Snoop? you know what I mean! quit playin!!!

SMH…WHY HAS THIS THREAD TURNED INTO THE BLAME GAME IT SEEMS….HONESTLY FROM WHAT I AM READING IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE BASING THINGS OFF OF STEREOTYPES AND WHAT THEY SEE ON TV…

*claps for word to the wise*

Dead @ Tiger Hood…

cat4everrr

i think i’ll take my chances with white dudes. i’ve given up hope in black men ever having any real respect for us. all hope is lost.

—————————————————-

I don’t know what prompted this response cause I

wasn’t reading all that but off this statement alone

I already don’t like you. Real talk!

lol @ TRS

@Always Knew

“lol @ TRS

@Always knew

“We had to stand up for ourselves, when they emasuclated our men, so by default we were sort of forced into this position, and we have been holding it for so long, I don’t know if some of us,can let go…”"

I agree. I’ve long believed that the emasculation of black men and “defeminization” of black women has led to a number of challenges within our current relationship paradigm. I want to start by first destroying, dismantling, totally erasing the “Strong Black Woman” archetype because I think, ironically, it has hurt us. We are not Blamazons, we are women who have the same emootions, dreams, and goals as other women, and it’s time to put down the armor. A woman can be “strong,” but she must still be soft, IMHO. She must still know how to be a lady and not see that type of behavior as “weak.”

I’m going to be frank here. When a lot of brothers hear a sister hear that she’s a “Strong Black Woman,” what they’re hearing in their minds is that you’re just saying you’re hard to get along with. You’re obstinate. You’re a handful. It’s not “strength” they’re seeing, it’s “attitude.” If you’re truly strong, you don’t have announce it, it will come forth, in appropriate ways.

Conversely, I believe buried deep within the emotions and comments from sisters is the belief that we are missing the sense of security that would allow for the fulfilling of certain roles. I hear more sisters say more often than not that they’re more than willing to “submit” to men who do fulfill their leadership roles. But we also have to accept our part in not always accepting men into our lives who know how to head a household. So there’s a component of making better choices that we need to pay close attention to as well. If you choose poorly, you’ll get poor results.

@ Lady A

SMH…WHY HAS THIS THREAD TURNED INTO THE BLAME GAME IT SEEMS…
————————————————

I agree. We should not be blaming each other. Black Men and Women need to throw that blame game ish out the window and come together as MIJDC said and figure out how to SOLVE IT.

Sorry for the repetition in my last post.

*emotions*

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

cat4everrr

i think i’ll take my chances with white dudes. i’ve given up hope in black men ever having any real respect for us. all hope is lost.

—————————————————-

I don’t know what prompted this response cause I

wasn’t reading all that but off this statement alone

I already don’t like you. Real talk!
—————–

you haven’t lived in my shoes as i haven’t lived in yours. i’ve been through enough to know when it’s time to throw in the towel. i’m sure you aren’t like “them” and are a good black man so please don’t take offense to my comment which is based on my personal experience

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“I have been answering this all through this thread. she was forced to play his role when due to his chronic absence he wouldn’t. why wont anyone answer the question of what the black woman should have done once the black man wasn’t around to play his role. sholdshe have just sat back and let the family and household fail?”
______________________________________________________________

Why do you think there was “chronic absence” to begin with? If that’s the issue as you see it, than what caused that??????

theres still the underlying racism

at the banks, for a loan,

higher real estate prices, paying for being blk

higher interest rates, even when you have

excellent credit and make 6 figures, they still

treat you, the way they feel like treating you and

usually, it’s not good…

How can any blk womn or man, hate each other?

We are the same. How is that possible, unless you

have been so filled with self- hate ,or

mistreatment, you just can’t see past it…

just can’t tolerate

the thing i hate about black men the most is how they try to tear a black woman down once she has achieved a small amount of success in order to make him feel like a man

If you ain’t a black man then “STFU” about what’s

wrong with black men. make your demographic of

society and humanity all that it can be and let us

men handle our ish. I believe we can do it without

so much outside influence. we know WTF is wrong

with us. We are not stupid even though some of us

act like it!

If you’re truly strong, you don’t have announce it, it will come forth, in appropriate ways.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ain’t that the truth!!!!! ♥

@ Sydney

Conversely, I believe buried deep within the emotions and comments from sisters is the belief that we are missing the sense of security that would allow for the fulfilling of certain roles. I hear more sisters say more often than not that they’re more than willing to “submit” to men who do fulfill their leadership roles. But we also have to accept our part in not always accepting men into our lives who know how to head a household. So there’s a component of making better choices that we need to pay close attention to as well. If you choose poorly, you’ll get poor results.
————————————————–

*stands up*
*claps*
*sits down*

I agree w/ purple tadow…. There are good and bad points to be made here -Since when is it a negative thing to be a strong, independent, hard-working woman with her head on straight?

Are you such a strong woman that you end up coming off as condescending and down-talk to your spouse/SO?
Are you such an independent woman that you get defensive if a brother wants to buy you dinner and drinks? (“I got my own! Don’t need you” types)
Are you so hard working that you put your job before cultivating and nurturing your home?
It’s a very precarious balancing act, to be all of the above, and still be a humble, loving, supportive woman to a man. It’s a process that must be tweaked to each person’s specs.
If you’ve got all of the above together, AND understand the underlying need for men to feel “manly”, in charge, and basically “king of his castle”, then you are probably one of us who know how to keep and maintain a strong healthy relationship. Bottom line is men want/need to run shyt, whether they actually are or not is irrelevant. It’s perfecting the technique that allows them to feel comfortable and secure in their manhood that has the most benefit to everyone. As one poster said above “let a man be a man”, well, maybe not ‘let’, but a man WILL BE a man, and if you never give him the room to do so, he will eventually find someone who will. Most of the time, it’s about the presentation with men, not the actual substance that is at issue with some of the “independent women”. So you can be the most hard working, great in bed, independent, making money, woman that you want to be, but if a man does not feel that his worth is appreciated as a MAN, it’s just a count down before you lose that man…
Steve Harvey’s book “Act like a woman and think like a man” gives good insight into this thought process as well….

@ cat4everrr
I feel so sorry for anybody who feels that they must give up on anything in life no matter what has happenened in life good or bad it’s a sign of weakness.

BMWdriver540i. …… .Looking at the haters thru my rearview

@ cat4everrr
I feel so sorry for anybody who feels that they must give up on anything in life no matter what has happenened in life good or bad it’s a sign of weakness.

————-

i appreciate your opinion and i respect it, however, alas, all hope is lost and my faith is destined to never be restored

@CATT 4 EVER
“there is no problem so long as we are keeping it real and not pretend most black men attempt to live in the shoes of the tv persona of mr. huxtable from the cosby show.”
_________________________________________________________________

….um… yeah. I don’t think “tv personas” are realistic objectives to strive for.

“Just to put a cap on this for now, yes there are a whole lot of “shiftless”, as you call it, BM out here today and most of them all have a common denominator: They come directly from the households of single mothers!!”

actually if you know anything about MATH you see that the single black mother is the numerator. its the absent black father who is the common denominator. there are many more absent black fathers than absent black mothers. a cblack child stands a much better chnace pf having an absent father than an absent mother. its the absent fathers actions that stay the same.

“Like it or not, most of these same “men” you profess to be so sick of are the way they are because of a woman, their mother.”

and aren’t the way they are supposed to be cause of their absent fathers.

DaHonestTruth ~ Turn My SWAG On
Sorry but black women and other minorities historically were NOT WELCOMED in the white feminist movement so you take that logic and shove it.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT? IT IS A KNOW FACT THAT AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN WERE BROUGHT INTO THE PICTURE FOR INCREASE IN NUMBERS…IN FACT THAT’S WHY MAN AFRICAN AMERICANS AGREE THAT BLK WOMEN WERE USED DURING THAT MOVEMENT..

@TRS,

CYE

“Why do you think there was “chronic absence” to begin with? If that’s the issue as you see it, than what caused that??????h”

ive been answering this all though this thread too – the irresponsibility of the black man. through jail unemployment uneducation and just not being interested the black man gave up his role as head of household.

ROME…CHILL OUT SWEETY…NO NEED FOR ALL THAT CURSING..YOU DON’T GET YOUR POINT ACROSS THAT WAY

LADY ARCHITECT…TRUE TACTICIAN

ROME…CHILL OUT SWEETY…NO NEED FOR ALL THAT CURSING..YOU DON’T GET YOUR POINT ACROSS THAT WAY

——-

…seems to be a lot of filth and farth coming from his comments

A strong woman knows when to be agressive and when to be submissive. But it is something that you have to learn from your mother or grandmother by words and deeds.

Since we have not had many 2 parent homes the interation between men and women are lost in the black community.

@always knew

“@ syd- this is one of the issues I wanted to discuss with the group, I want to meet with…There are many issues but this was one of them, returning the power to our own..”

Oh, definitely, I’m all for more communication between the genders without the cross-blaming, stereotypes, etc. I think there’s a great deal of hurt on both sides that’s being expressed in unhealthy ways, and it won’t be resolved until we directly address it in a healthy, productive manner.

@syd- ” Now I’ve been called the N-word more than once in my life, but nothing has hurt me more than when I’ve heard a brother openly express despise and disgust for his sisters. And I’m sure it hits brothers to the core when they hear sisters decry that they’re inadequate. We’re hurting each other, and look what’s happening to the community. As long as we’re at each other’s throats, we will not prosper, and that’s reality.”
____________________________________

I don’t know if we are strong enough to challenge and fix-it. Now it’s easier for people to turn to other races,(swirl) so they don’t have to be reminded,or instead of choosing to work THROUGH it. That’s jut the way it is…

Anything worth having takes effort. Too bad many of us, don’t believe this. If we could fix our situation, I do believe that we could repair our community. This is some of the things I wan to start for the American blks before I leave this country. I don’tunderstand why we have so much discord and dissension. We used to care about each other..It’s too hard to care, easier to laugh and make fun..so that’s what society does..

and what makes it so bad, is that we fall for it,hook line and sinker…

BE

A strong woman knows when to be agressive and when to be submissive. But it is something that you have to learn from your mother or grandmother by words and deeds.

Since we have not had many 2 parent homes the interation between men and women are lost in the black community.

———

and when should it be appropriate for the man to be submissive. can we agree on that form of thinking went out with the 60′s. most women have gone into the workforce, same as our men. why should we have the extra burden of also having to be the house keeper and homemaker. if both are paying the bills, both should equally share in the responsibilities of the home.

Once we lose our core:

there is nothing left.

Our ancestors knew this.

We apparently still don’t.

LADY ARCHITECT…TRUE TACTICIAN

ROME…CHILL OUT SWEETY…NO NEED FOR ALL THAT CURSING..YOU DON’T GET YOUR POINT ACROSS THAT WAY

—————————————————-

You’re right and I am wrong! I apologize to you and

the person makin that statement! one thing people

need to know is that this society was not set up

with Blacks in mind. It was not designed for us!

so I hope I don’t hear anymore ….”Because of

affirmative action and because of Obama we are even

speeches. It would take atleast 20 more Obamas’ @

1600 Pennsylvania Ave for the next eighty years and

we still would be reconciled for the things we’ve

been through. all we can do is make progress.

It’never gone be a level playin field.

And that’s my word.

luv ya Lady A!

@ atltx

*applause* it takes a lotta guts to own up to the truth of the situation we face…kudos to you

I still don’t understand how a blk man/ blk wmn

can say:

I don’t date blks. That’s the dumbest bs I ever heard…

You have to look at their mental. But this is exactly what I am referring to when I talk bout ‘selling out’..Trying to trade one reality for another, knowing the truth, all the while, and it annoys,irritates me like you wouldn’t believe…

We don’t have the luxury to be that ignorant.

I wish we could all wake up…

cat4everr

…seems to be a lot of filth and farth coming from his comments

—————————————————–

seems to be a lot of self hatred commin from yours!

I agree with most of that Livesteez post except..I’m not looking for an opponent but more like a friend,a psrtner, a faithful life-lover, a husband and a KING…….

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

cat4everr

…seems to be a lot of filth and farth coming from his comments

—————————————————–

seems to be a lot of self hatred commin from yours!

————

listen, i may not agree with you but i will respect your opinion…fith, farth and all

@BE

A strong woman knows when to be agressive and when to be submissive. But it is something that you have to learn from your mother or grandmother by words and deeds.

Since we have not had many 2 parent homes the interation between men and women are lost in the black community.
_____________________________________________________
THANK YOU,AMEN, and PASS THE PEAS! So true…..

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“ive been answering this all though this thread too – the irresponsibility of the black man. through jail unemployment uneducation and just not being interested the black man gave up his role as head of household.”
____________________________________________________________

Now we are getting somewhere… so a race of men that built empires and developed sciences that are still being attempted to be fully understood thousands of year later all of sudden become “irresponsible?”

Now, since we agree that history has proven that black men have not traditionally abandoned family, what caused them at some point to become “irresponsible?”

@always knew

“Anything worth having takes effort. Too bad many of us, don’t believe this. If we could fix our situation, I do believe that we could repair our community.”

I look at it like this, you’re always going to have individuals who, for whatever reason, don’t want to be part of the solution, or just don’t see it as their fight. But I do believe there are enough people who do care to make a difference.

There were a lot of black folks on the sidelines during the Civil Rights Movement, and change still came. Those who are focused on making a difference will continue to work to do so.

always knew

I still don’t understand how a blk man/ blk wmn

can say:

I don’t date blks. That’s the dumbest bs I ever heard…

You have to look at their mental. But this is exactly what I am referring to when I talk bout ’selling out’..Trying to trade one reality for another, knowing the truth, all the while, and it annoys,irritates me like you wouldn’t believe…

We don’t have the luxury to be that ignorant.

I wish we could all wake up…

—————

you could very well be right. one thing is for sure, i’ll never find out unless i try out different races.

QUESTION:

why is it that black women are the only segment of the population mocked for dating anyone except black males when there never seem to be an issue when black men do it. no wonder we are constantly be trampled upon, they know we ain’t going no where. it’s easy to take advantage of a person when there are no consequences

@cat4 – and when should it be appropriate for the man to be submissive. can we agree on that form of thinking went out with the 60’s. most women have gone into the workforce, same as our men. why should we have the extra burden of also having to be the house keeper and homemaker. if both are paying the bills, both should equally share in the responsibilities of the home.

**************************
I will agree that women’t liberation has made women forget what makes them women. Yes we should have the choice to work and have a career and the mate you choose should respect that and appreciate your talents. I do believe that men should help out equally at home. Women are nurtures and working does not mean you become masculine.

Just because it is popular to be powerful does not mean that being submissive is not powerful. To me talking and shouting is easy learning to be quiet and listen takes skill and patience.

Hello BE & SYDNEY

always knew

Once we lose our core:

there is nothing left.

Our ancestors knew this.

We apparently still don’t.

I’M READY TO SHED A TEAR ON THIS

@syd-”“@ syd- this is one of the issues I wanted to discuss with the group, I want to meet with…There are many issues but this was one of them, returning the power to our own..”

Oh, definitely, I’m all for more communication between the genders without the cross-blaming, stereotypes, etc. I think there’s a great deal of hurt on both sides that’s being expressed in unhealthy ways, and it won’t be resolved until we directly address it in a healthy, productive manner.
________________________________________

this is why I NEED you at that meeting.

If i get a hold of Eddie Dollars again,

I;m going to talk him into setting a date, I’ll

take care of the rest..you must come, syd..

We haev to do this, otherwise another generation will be lost. We need to create a whole lot of conscious blk mn and wmn.

@ Pimpin Willie Dynamite (CEO Of Kentucky Derby Booties INC.)

i respect your decision

BE

@cat4 – and when should it be appropriate for the man to be submissive. can we agree on that form of thinking went out with the 60’s. most women have gone into the workforce, same as our men. why should we have the extra burden of also having to be the house keeper and homemaker. if both are paying the bills, both should equally share in the responsibilities of the home.

**************************
I will agree that women’t liberation has made women forget what makes them women. Yes we should have the choice to work and have a career and the mate you choose should respect that and appreciate your talents. I do believe that men should help out equally at home. Women are nurtures and working does not mean you become masculine.

Just because it is popular to be powerful does not mean that being submissive is not powerful. To me talking and shouting is easy learning to be quiet and listen takes skill and patience.

———

wise words to live by indeed

@lady a- don’t feel bad, there are a few of us left that really do care..

I want to leave something tangible behind that will speak to our inner selves. We ALL know better, but how we get there, is a whole nother ballgame…

Hi Pimpin

@always knew

“this is why I NEED you at that meeting.

If i get a hold of Eddie Dollars again,

I;m going to talk him into setting a date, I’ll

take care of the rest..you must come, syd..”

Oh, sure, that would be great, girl. I waver between thinking it’s already too late for us, and then I get a surge of optimism. I’m just not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

Side note: Stop reading your anglo-saxon reports on

how bad the black man is…….their not designed to

put out posituve info about us anyway. Do your own

research.

@ Pimpin

No I have not, I have always had an abundance of sistas cool as hell, educated, and most of all finer then any of them other chicks around me. I mean I am educated, white collar earning, defensive end muscle with a wide reciever stomach, I think god would strike me down if I gave all this to THEM, not interested at all!
———————————————-

PREACH.

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

Side note: Stop reading your anglo-saxon reports on

how bad the black man is…….their not designed to

put out posituve info about us anyway. Do your own

research.

———-

not sure if you are commenting to me or not but i would like to respond by first saying thank you doing so without cursing me out. again, my opinion is based off of my own personal experience

Heard it all before. Black women too strong, black men too weak. Ok ok, whatever. You know what it sounds like? Racist. Good! Be racist! Hahaha! Yeah and then years later after the fact, it’s gonna be real funny to see the the reality of all the whining and complaining oh yeah. Can’t wait!

“you dont get your strong black woman label and badge unless..you come off agressive, pushy, masculine and loud.”

This is why I want to eradicate the “Strong Black Woman” label. It’s like an albatross around our necks, and it’s time to let it go.

“Now we are getting somewhere… so a race of men that built empires and developed sciences that are still being attempted to be fully understood thousands of year later all of sudden become “irresponsible?”

Now, since we agree that history has proven that black men have not traditionally abandoned family, what caused them at some point to become “irresponsible?””

Well if you come up in history and stop trying to compare the former black leaders of Africa many centuries ago and look at black families. the black man became irresponsible because it became to easy for him to sit back and blame everyone else for what is wrong with him. white society isnt really very kind to any society beyond their own but something about other societies make them not abandon their women, kids, families, households and societies.

Back from lunch and prison tricep dips,

Where are we in the topic?

@ Slide

NO man (Black, White or whatever) is trying to come home to deal with confrontation, attitude or an educated snob who thinks they know it all and is above reproach… SMH
———————————————–

Honey this works both ways.

@cat4everrr-”QUESTION:

why is it that black women are the only segment of the population mocked for dating anyone except black males when there never seem to be an issue when black men do it. no wonder we are constantly be trampled upon, they know we ain’t going no where. it’s easy to take advantage of a person when there are no consequences”
___________________________________________

Blk wmn have always stood up for themselves.

Imagine our surprise, when we turned around and

our men left us, for the new and improved versions, that don’t have to fight and let them (the blk man) be in control.. THe blk wmn has always been stronger and loyal, to a fault. Only through the blk wmn was the blk man able to procreate, leave with no responsibility and still know that his child/ren will be cared for–without his help or input–

We have always given the blk men loyalty, that the majority are no longer interested in..

We (blk men and blk wmn) have to change or we will have no choice and always be left up to our own demise…

trs (I COME IN PEACE)

@ Slide

NO man (Black, White or whatever) is trying to come home to deal with confrontation, attitude or an educated snob who thinks they know it all and is above reproach… SMH
———————————————–

Honey this works both ways.

———-

this on top of the thugged out baggy jeans, boots, and the popularity be being strapped

@Syd – Oh, sure, that would be great, girl. I waver between thinking it’s already too late for us, and then I get a surge of optimism. I’m just not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

****************************
I know how you feel sometimes it seems that everything is a disaster in the black community and it makes you feel so sad but you can meet one positive person that will change your mind.

I think sometimes black men and women perpetuate sterotypes because they are not exposed to anything else. So they have not figured out how to stop..some people will have it internally and some will learn by going to college or other programs in high school.

So many people do the wrong thing that when you stand up for what is right it looks wrong.

always knew

@cat4everrr-”QUESTION:

why is it that black women are the only segment of the population mocked for dating anyone except black males when there never seem to be an issue when black men do it. no wonder we are constantly be trampled upon, they know we ain’t going no where. it’s easy to take advantage of a person when there are no consequences”
___________________________________________

Blk wmn have always stood up for themselves.

Imagine our surprise, when we turned around and

our men left us, for the new and improved versions, that don’t have to fight and let them (the blk man) be in control.. THe blk wmn has always been stronger and loyal, to a fault. Only through the blk wmn was the blk man able to procreate, leave with no responsibility and still know that his child/ren will be cared for–without his help or input–

We have always given the blk men loyalty, that the majority are no longer interested in..

We (blk men and blk wmn) have to change or we will have no choice and always be left up to our own demise…

———-

AMEN, AMEN AND AMEN!!!!!!!!!

cat4everrr: the same can be said for black men
________________________________________
poor and ridiculous response…
***raises wand
*** shouts BE GONE
***cat4everrr vanishes….

This is why I want to eradicate the “Strong Black Woman” label. It’s like an albatross around our necks, and it’s time to let it go.
—

seriously, it’s like how the nazi’s turned a symbol of peace into a symbol of hate

“I will agree that women’t liberation has made women forget what makes them women. ”

Not as much as being forced for the sake of your family to go out and play the role of the man over and over again does.

always knew

@lady a- don’t feel bad, there are a few of us left that really do care..

OH NAH I WAS SHEDING A TEAR BECAUSE YOU WERE SO RIGHT…I COULDN’T AGREE MORE…THERE’S MORE THAN A FEW THAT STILL CARE…THEY ARE JUST NOT FOUND IN YOUR LOCAL NEWSPAPERS AND NEW CHANNELS…THEY LIKE TO PUBLICIZE THE ONES THAT MAKE US LOOK BAD.

Not as much as being forced for the sake of your family to go out and play the role of the man over and over again does.
—-

Black women need to stop feeling sorry for themselves, and that’s the damn truth take it how you want to

litechokolit1 (I melt in ur mouf…not in ur handz)

cat4everrr: the same can be said for black men
________________________________________
poor and ridiculous response…
***raises wand
*** shouts BE GONE
***cat4everrr vanishes….

—-

are you suggesting black men are incapable of being rude and loud? they are always the perfect gentleman.

bottom line, men can find 50 billion and 1 reasons for them being unfaithful. at the end of the day they are only doing it for selfish reasons.

“I will agree that women’s liberation has made women forget what makes them women. ”
________________________________________________

Please elaborate because I didn’t think i forgot what makes me a woman

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“Well if you come up in history and stop trying to compare the former black leaders of Africa many centuries ago and look at black families. the black man became irresponsible because it became to easy for him to sit back and blame everyone else for what is wrong with him. white society isnt really very kind to any society beyond their own but something about other societies make them not abandon their women, kids, families, households and societies.”
__________________________________________________________

¿¿¿ WTF ???

Why did YOU mention white society not being nice to all races? Why did YOU find that relevant?

@Man I just dont care™

So let me get this straigh… if someone breaks into your house and steal your things I shouldn’t fault the criminal but I should fault YOU for not “challenging” him?

Is that what you are saying?
………………………………………….
If that criminal (the white man) has CONTINUED to break into your home OVER AND OVER AGAIN and you (the black man) have never challenged him for whatever reason that makes you a fool. That makes the criminal a mastermind for knowing YOU won’t fight back and that he can continue to come into your house whenever he feel like it.

That’s what I’m saying. Fool me once…shame on you. Fool me twice…shame on me. The white man has fooled you, the black man, over and over again. You are at fault for being his puppet.

there are loud people in every race. Asian women are loud, white women are loud, spanish women are loud, black women are loud, etc etc…

@dahonest – actually thats an IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN label and has nothing to do with a woman being strong. you are strong though your achievements and the struggle leading up to them and anyone who associates an ignorant black woman with a strong one is likely one of those black men who are threatened by both.

*******************
I agree there is such a difference and a man worth dating will know this.

Dahonest:

Your last paragraph hit it right on the head. There’s ignorant BW, then there are educated BW. There’s a HUGE difference between the two.

@Be

“I know how you feel sometimes it seems that everything is a disaster in the black community and it makes you feel so sad but you can meet one positive person that will change your mind.”

Yes, sista, and that’s why it’s so important to be careful about whom you associate with because negativity begets negativity.

———-@
cat4everrr

not sure if you are commenting to me or not but i would like to respond by first saying thank you doing so without cursing me out. again, my opinion is based off of my own personal experience
—————————————————–

Sweetheart..you don’t have to mention profanity everytime you correspond with me. That’s said and done. I apologized. That’s not my forte’. Although if i choose to I can be very good at it.

Secondly I didn’t even pay attention to the fact that you were a female because your comment was so disheartening to me. once again I apologize for my initial choice of words and ask for your forgiveness. I have sisters a mother and plenty moreimportant women in my life and I would never address them in that way and should not have done it toward you.

ps. you need to work out that black men ain’t ish! crap though. Casue a man…….. is a man….is a man! Regardless of color. You might just be hip to a black mans game but there are some white boys out there that you ani’t even ready for. and they know a lot of black women feel they are honest and don’t cheat so they use that to their advantage. Don’t get caught out their slippin!!

ps. you need to work out that black men ain’t ish! crap though. Casue a man…….. is a man….is a man! Regardless of color. You might just be hip to a black mans game but there are some white boys out there that you ani’t even ready for. and they know a lot of black women feel they are honest and don’t cheat so they use that to their advantage. Don’t get caught out their slippin!!
—

could not have said it better myself

“:When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?”
-LIVESTEEZ-

I’m not trynna’ look upon the woman(en) in my life as an “opponent”.I might add that I’m not intimidated by a strong/smart sista.There’s a difference between strong/smart and:Bluster…Swagger…Arrogance…Smugness.These are not good looks on anyone.Least of all the significant other in your life.

@JB – “I will agree that women’s liberation has made women forget what makes them women. ”
________________________________________________

Please elaborate because I didn’t think i forgot what makes me a woman

**********************
Some women think taking on traditional masculine traits such as being demanding, yelling at meetings, paying for lunch/dinner etc, wearing blue/black/grey to work

these type of things to me have women trying to be men when they really are nuturers and the way we handle issues are not the way men handle issues.

The women’t movement was necessary but some of the things that came out of the movement resulted in women who think they don’t need men.

“Black women need to stop feeling sorry for themselves, and that’s the damn truth take it how you want to”

but i guess its ok for a black man to go around on his pity me tour blaming everyone around him for his situation.

Hey Awesome!

it is funny how the “strong” black women are the single ones and the ones who go thru tons of drama, and always have multiple issues.

@always knew,

No offense but you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. Last time I check Hawaii was apart of this country which was where Obama spent most of his life after his mother moved him back the states due Indonesia failed education system. Obama also said that he didn’t feel right about himself until he got around black people and met his wife and pastor. So his understand of his culture and himself didn’t come until LATER in life while he was IN CHICAGO.

Barack Obama was raised by an old white woman and white man (his grandparents). Whether any black person wants to admit it or not they helped shape him into the man he is today.

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

———-@
cat4everrr

not sure if you are commenting to me or not but i would like to respond by first saying thank you doing so without cursing me out. again, my opinion is based off of my own personal experience
—————————————————–

Sweetheart..you don’t have to mention profanity everytime you correspond with me. That’s said and done. I apologized. That’s not my forte’. Although if i choose to I can be very good at it.

Secondly I didn’t even pay attention to the fact that you were a female because your comment was so disheartening to me. once again I apologize for my initial choice of words and ask for your forgiveness. I have sisters a mother and plenty moreimportant women in my life and I would never address them in that way and should not have done it toward you.

ps. you need to work out that black men ain’t ish! crap though. Casue a man…….. is a man….is a man! Regardless of color. You might just be hip to a black mans game but there are some white boys out there that you ani’t even ready for. and they know a lot of black women feel they are honest and don’t cheat so they use that to their advantage. Don’t get caught out their slippin!!

———–

point taken, no need for me to harp on it and i appreciate you being the bigger person by apologizing. please accept my apology if i came off as offensive to you which was not my intent.

i am going to have to disagree with your philosophy on a “man is gonna be a man”. we can only expect more of the same in the absence of setting standards and instilling morals and values. again, the black female is not without fault. i’ll say it again, why by the cow when you can get the milk for free. we have to begin with some basic principles and hold our men to it. it’s very simple, we close our legs.

“Why did YOU mention white society not being nice to all races? Why did YOU find that relevant?”

its relevant to point out that the white man has through history pretty much oppressed any race that was not his own but it seems to only be us who all these years ater can’t come out from under his mind or mentality oppression. all other race of men even through their oppression manage to be good family and society men.

LOON

it is funny how the “strong” black women are the single ones and the ones who go thru tons of drama, and always have multiple issues.

————

i think the male version is called “Baby Daddys”

@TRS – Only then will we truly gain tangible POWER in America!!! Let’s stop blaming each other!

******************
So true..we spend more time ripping down each other

Hey Awesome

Hey Loon – – I knew you were going to say that!..lol

Geez! This is a pretty depressing discussion. On a personal note, I was raised in a home with two parents and they each did what was needed. The general rule in our house was if one is busy doing one thing, then you chip in and help with something else. Sure, there were certain things my mom did (like do the girls’ hair) or my dad did (mowed the grass). But if one of them was off working or sick, then daddy would be plaiting that hair or mom would be on the mower outside cutting the grass. And they took turns cooking meals and making sure our homework got done.

All marriages have their problems, but hopefully you’re able to work it out and be stronger as a result. And not hold grudges about past issues. You know, my folks always told my siblings and I that marriage was hard work and sometimes even a struggle, but that it was a commitment that was worth it 10 times over.

The older I get, the more I realize how lucky I was. I’m not married yet nor do I have kids, but I feel confident that my folks have given me a good foundation to know what I’m looking for and what to realistically expect.

I don’t know how, but I hope we as a people can figure out how to lose some of these issues we have. I will certainly try to do my part but living the positive things passed down to me.

it is funny how the “strong” black women are the single ones and the ones who go thru tons of drama, and always have multiple issues.
———————————————

OK So if the “Strong women” have all of these issues….

Then what do the weak women have? Utopia?

MistaO is Marquis de Sade without the cussing.

Hey trs

Hey BE

* Comment to follow *

@BE

Thanks for your explanation. IMO and experiences, you have to adapt to the situation, but also have to be able to leave it at work. In the Navy, I had to prove to the guys that I was just as strong or even stronger than them at times. But I am still the nuturer at heart, but inthe same breath when it comes to work, I ain’t no punk either.

We need to separate work and home. If you are a boss at work as soon as you walk outthat door, leave that there and come home and become the wife(if you are one) and mother (if you are one).

black chicks been a curse since EVE bite the apple

@ Elle

YES YES AND YESS!!!! that is the overall problem there is no unity. Black women against black men is the new thing with each other taking swings at each other blaming one another for their own down falls, last time I checked we all had free will, shut up and do something about it.

You don’t like being seen a certain go out there and get your success nothing speaks louder volumes than proving people wrong. I am so sick of it
————————————————-

U hit the nail right on the head. I am sick of it too girl!

“why by the cow when you can get the milk for free. we have to begin with some basic principles and hold our men to it. it’s very simple, we close our legs.”

i have always felt that why buy the cow when you can getthe milk for free is code for a man saying wow here goes a great excuse for me to not have to man up and society will go for it. and am i to assume you aresaying a black womaq nneeds to keep her legs closed for a black man to act like a man? why isn’t that the case among other races? their women spread their legs all the time but their men dont have the abandonment issues that black men do. why is that the only way the black man will man up?

There is nothing wrong with being a strong black woman. I come from a line of black women you would think were damn near superhuman lol! We raise children….take care of home, the finances, our other family members…work…give comfort, love, advice, support, constructive criticism and so much more to our communities and I will be damned if I am persecuted for that! But along with being strong, we also need to know when to submit and let the boo take on some of our responsibilities so that we don’t burn out. If a black man doesn’t respect you for being a strong black woman then I say so what!!! Their loss; not yours! To all my sisters out there: you keep on being phenomenal women. If you have kids….teach your daughters to be just as strong as you are…and teach your sons to respect and adore a strong and proud black woman.

@ Cat4evvr

we to have to begin by setting standards and principles.
————————————————–

AMEN!!!

GLOK GENERAL – EARTH SMOKE!!!

WE BACK BLACK!!! STR8 NO CHASER!!!

I agree, but also, it’s black women againts black women!! WTF?

HEY AWESOME

lady architect- he was born into a mixed family

after the parents split up, Barack was sent away

Black Sheep

he didn’t go through the traditional white washing

he was already grown when he returned for college, with his preferences, and he stated in his books, I’ve read 3 of them. That he was obsessed with Malcolm and the race issues.. He never felt good enough, he was different in more ways than just sharing the family name..He was around other ethnicities that accepted themselves….

Now a days, the media is the first to tell us what to think , see, say or do, how to act, who to befriend, who to ostracize, etc. If he had not went through that internal struggle here, I wnder would his selection be the same…

“MistaO is Marquis de Sade without the cussing.”

INTERESTING………………………

whats the word yall?

@
cat4everrr

point taken, no need for me to harp on it and i appreciate you being the bigger person by apologizing. please accept my apology if i came off as offensive to you which was not my intent.

i am going to have to disagree with your philosophy on a “man is gonna be a man”. we can only expect more of the same in the absence of setting standards and instilling morals and values. again, the black female is not without fault. i’ll say it again, why by the cow when you can get the milk for free. we have to begin with some basic principles and hold our men to it. it’s very simple, we close our legs.

—————————————————–

Answer me this….why do you hold white men in such

a place of esteem considering all the things that

they have done to all races, not just Blacks?

This is what I don’t understand?

i have always felt that why buy the cow when you can getthe milk for free is code for a man saying wow here goes a great excuse for me to not have to man up and society will go for it. and am i to assume you aresaying a black womaq nneeds to keep her legs closed for a black man to act like a man? why isn’t that the case among other races? their women spread their legs all the time but their men dont have the abandonment issues that black men do. why is that the only way the black man will man up?
—-

you need som love in your life you are clearly way too filled with hate to ever see the truth

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“no probs and no comedy here. i can admit him wrong and i may be wrong here. but can i ask that you prove me wrong please?can you please show me where you are finding proof that blacks pay more in taxes and a disproportinate amount into government programs cause all fact that I know point away from this? i know we use the programs at a disproportinate amount but i need to see where we pay into them so.

thanks.

** waits **”
______________________________________________________________

“Can I prove you wrong?” Um… YOU disputed MY information. LOL.

you can begin here and use the references to further your education for your comedy routine.

http://academic.udayton.edu/RACE/04NEEDS/welfare01b.htm

@Portal

MistaO is Marquis de Sade without the cussing.
___________________________________________________

well, that most certaintly is an improvement

maybe just maybe we can deal with the self hate

issues and move beyond it…

that would be GREAT!

Thanks for your explanation. IMO and experiences, you have to adapt to the situation, but also have to be able to leave it at work. In the Navy, I had to prove to the guys that I was just as strong or even stronger than them at times. But I am still the nuturer at heart, but inthe same breath when it comes to work, I ain’t no punk either.

We need to separate work and home. If you are a boss at work as soon as you walk outthat door, leave that there and come home and become the wife(if you are one) and mother (if you are one).

******************

I agree (my post disappeared and I said some good stuff..lol)

Hey #12

@Nik

“I like to think I am a black woman who carries herself appropriately, but there was a time where other black women would call me fake, white girl, valley girl, ect.. because I “talk proper” and I’m “too plain””

Hey, some said the same about Michelle Obama, and she kept on being herself.

“I think some young black women have a hard time finding themselves and who they want to be.”

I think some young sistas lack the proper role models to teach them about appropriate behaviors and ladylike traits, and the same is true for some young brothers.

There was one morning on the Metro when I was reading the paper on the way to work and I heard two boys and a girl talking loudly behind me, and the girl was using four-letter words, etc., and it made me cringe. When my stop came, I summoned the nerve to comment to her that she was far too beautiful to use such language. I just think a number of kids just haven’t received the guidance they need to know what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

To put it straight and honsetly , we are the dead , rotting remaining , left over carcass of the true BLKman.I am man enough to admit the truth of the actual fact.We are the remains of what once was a true BLKman. We are the dry bones in the valley and the carcass where the eagles have gathered to feast uopn our remaining BLK flesh . THIS IS US BLK MAN! WE FUKD !

Dahonestruth:

We as BW can’t go around blaming black men for our behaivor. Ok so maybe hey have played a little part in our hurt, or emotional state, but there is NO excuse for bad behaivor and there is NO ONE else to blame but themselves.

@DA HONEST TRUTH
“its relevant to point out that the white man has through history pretty much oppressed any race that was not his own but it seems to only be us who all these years ater can’t come out from under his mind or mentality oppression. all other race of men even through their oppression manage to be good family and society men.”
_______________________________________________________________

did you… did you “edit” my FULL response to you?

LOL.

Anyway, is it your position that ALL races should respond EXACTLY the same to white oppresion? Is that what you are saying? Is it your position that all other races were oppresesed in EXACTLY the same way that blacks were?

Elaborate.

crack turned out the black race!

Suggestion…

Men talk about men…pay attention to faults cited.

Women talk about women…pay attention to faults cited.

Get our shyte together as individuals.

Approach each other with open minds…ready to work together as we move forward.

@ Elle

black men are the only ones with abandonment issues….please….THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON IN THIS WORLD THAT IS PURELY EXCLUSIVE TO ONE RACE!!!!… there are more blacks in jail too huh?

@rome- “Answer me this….why do you hold white men in such a place of esteem considering all the things that they have done to all races, not just Blacks?This is what I don’t understand?
_____________________________________________

they control everything and everyone

if you have nothing fufilling emotionally / spritually

something is better than nothing

You are correct, the wht man has denigrated every

single race except his own. The kicker/question

really is: Why did all the cultures (blk, chinese, arabic, japanese, indian, natives, let him get away with it all. Then turn the hate inward, and take it out on ourselves? We internalize and show disrespect more than any other group. I often talk about blk folks, because I pay more attn to my group than any other. That’s what matters to me.

let me rephrase that.

crack and rap turned out the black community

So I read about half of that garbage before I clicked the x in the upper right hand corner of my screen. You can tell it was written by someone scorned. Here’s the deal.

1) Everyone is talking about how “black men don’t lead there households, aren’t taking care of their families, aren’t any good” and all the other yadda yadda womp womp. The truth is, there is an army of well educated, well mannered good dudes out there ready to lead their households. The problem they have with the women is that they won’t let em. He’s not intimidated by black women, he’s trying to be what women say we aren’t but you won’t let him. No one wants to be in a relationship where they have to compete. That’s the deal with real dudes.

I have nothing to do with dead beat dads, drug dealers or anything else you want to talk about because I don’t know any. I surround myself with people on my level or higher so I have something to aspire to.

2) Dudes that really are intimidated are lame. Move on.

3) Some women are over the top and don’t need to be with someone else anyway. Move on.

@ Elle

black men are the only ones with abandonment issues….please….THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON IN THIS WORLD THAT IS PURELY EXCLUSIVE TO ONE RACE!!!!… there are more blacks in jail too huh?
—

huh?! I’m confused what is this in reference to?

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

@
cat4everrr

point taken, no need for me to harp on it and i appreciate you being the bigger person by apologizing. please accept my apology if i came off as offensive to you which was not my intent.

i am going to have to disagree with your philosophy on a “man is gonna be a man”. we can only expect more of the same in the absence of setting standards and instilling morals and values. again, the black female is not without fault. i’ll say it again, why by the cow when you can get the milk for free. we have to begin with some basic principles and hold our men to it. it’s very simple, we close our legs.

—————————————————–

Answer me this….why do you hold white men in such

a place of esteem considering all the things that

they have done to all races, not just Blacks?

This is what I don’t understand?

—–

the definition of crazy: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result

i have tried the black man my entire life and it didn’t work. it’s time for me to try something different. that is not to mean all black men are bad. it only goes to say that the black men i’ve encountered did not work out. i am also fully aware of the fact that i am not without fault. however, this is my life and i’m free to do with it as i see fit, no?

a strong black women doesnt mean a arguementative, nit picky, holier than thou women. A strong black women is one who handles her own and doesnt have to use the title strong black women to prove her point. If she is strong, best believe, we know. otherwise, she just comes off as a bithc.

Syndey –

I agree 100%. Not only young black women but all young women don’t really have an appropriate roll model these days. Michelle Obama is the closest we/they have right now. If you look in the media and what women are doing right now, it makes me sick to my stomach that my daughter may catch a glimpse of the tv!!

@denne

“but hopefully one day i’ll find someone to get it right with.”

He’ll find you.

@ Lady A – Hey man

What up @ Double L

@be
hello sis

@cat4eva
yup that is the word.

MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

you say that crack and rap turned out our black community? Have you seen your screen name??

Awesome-O-3000 (But I’m too dark to tan)

@ Lady A – Hey man

WOMAN*….LOL

MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

you say that crack and rap turned out our black community? Have you seen your screen name??
—-

A simply LMAO worthy moment

*SECRETLY KICKS JB IN THE LEG* YOU KNOW WHY……

@ Lady A

lol, I must be too upset with this thread. I meant to type Ma. Sorry.

“Answer me this….why do you hold white men in such

a place of esteem considering all the things that

they have done to all races, not just Blacks?

This is what I don’t understand?”

you mean like how the black man holds the white woman in such high regard after all she has done to the masses, namely him?

@Nik

“If you look in the media and what women are doing right now, it makes me sick to my stomach that my daughter may catch a glimpse of the tv!!”

That’s why parents have to step up and be the proper role models for their kids, instead of leaving the job to the latest rapper, singer, or athlete. Children have to be taught how to behave, and discipline is key, IMHO.

Awesome-O-3000 (But I’m too dark to tan)

@ Lady A

lol, I must be too upset with this thread. I meant to type Ma. Sorry.

LOL DON’T GET UPSET…SOME PEOPLE CAN’T HELP WHAT THEY THINK THEY KNOW….I SIT BACK AND READ…LOL

—–
@
cat4everrr

the definition of crazy: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result

i have tried the black man my entire life and it didn’t work. it’s time for me to try something different. that is not to mean all black men are bad. it only goes to say that the black men i’ve encountered did not work out. i am also fully aware of the fact that i am not without fault. however, this is my life and i’m free to do with it as i see fit, no?

—————————————————-

understood. Still I ask…why do you hold white men

in sucha place of esteem?

@ NIK

Syndey –

I agree 100%. Not only young black women but all young women don’t really have an appropriate roll model these days. Michelle Obama is the closest we/they have right now. If you look in the media and what women are doing right now, it makes me sick to my stomach that my daughter may catch a glimpse of the tv!!
_________________________________________

Why wouldn’t you be your daughter’s role model?

Like Goodie Mob said over 10 years ago:

The battles no longer physcial, its from within
You live to die, and you die to live again
But you can’t win for losing, what sides are you choosing?
Decisions, decisions to make
Decisions, decisions to make

“you need som love in your life you are clearly way too filled with hate to ever see the truth”

so now when a black woman stand up for herself and her own she is full of hate? well i happen to believe this is a black man coping mechanism too.

@ LADY ARCHITECT…TRUE TACTICIAN

Awesome-O-3000 (But I’m too dark to tan)

@ Lady A

lol, I must be too upset with this thread. I meant to type Ma. Sorry.

LOL DON’T GET UPSET…SOME PEOPLE CAN’T HELP WHAT THEY THINK THEY KNOW….I SIT BACK AND READ…LOL

Haha, well Awesome is here to law down the law. Lol, I should write a book.

This thread has made me so disheartened. It’s exhausting to see us beating each other up like this.

Sydney-

I am so afraid for this next generation of women. I am so sad for them What have we done?

elle

i know im the typical stereotype.but that does not define me.but you know what im saying is real talk. look back 20 yrs ago and see where we went wrong.

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

—–
@
cat4everrr

the definition of crazy: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result

i have tried the black man my entire life and it didn’t work. it’s time for me to try something different. that is not to mean all black men are bad. it only goes to say that the black men i’ve encountered did not work out. i am also fully aware of the fact that i am not without fault. however, this is my life and i’m free to do with it as i see fit, no?

—————————————————-

understood. Still I ask…why do you hold white men

in sucha place of esteem?

————–

i believe we are all created equal regardless of race. let me be clear, i am no way eluding to the notion that white men are somehow better than black. i am merely suggesting it is time for me to take a different approach.

DaHonestTruth ~ Turn My SWAG On

“Answer me this….why do you hold white men in such

a place of esteem considering all the things that

they have done to all races, not just Blacks?

This is what I don’t understand?”

you mean like how the black man holds the white woman in such high regard after all she has done to the masses, namely him?

—————————————————-

one topic @ a time. That’s a discussion for another

day. right now we’re talking about something else.

Let’s not loose focus I really want to know the

answer to this.:-)

hey nik

dont worry about the next generation,every body will be swirling by then.so we wont have to worry about the black man black woman issue.

Not only young black women but all young women don’t really have an appropriate roll model these days. Michelle Obama is the closest we/they have right now. If you look in the media and what women are doing right now, it makes me sick to my stomach that my daughter may catch a glimpse of the tv!!
___________________________________________________

That is where we as mothers are supposed to mold the children, not the media or celebs. Charles Barkeley said it best when he stated that he shouldn’t be kids role models. Parents, teachers, judges, police officers (ok there are some good ones out there) and such should be the role models.

When we allow our kids to become infatuated with celebs and the things they have, it at times becomes a tradgedy what they (the youth) strive to become or to possess.

Our job as mothers are to mold these young women not Beyonce, Ciara or even Michelle.

@Redbone

@always knew,

No offense but you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. Last time I check Hawaii was apart of this country which was where Obama spent most of his life after his mother moved him back the states due Indonesia failed education system. Obama also said that he didn’t feel right about himself until he got around black people and met his wife and pastor. So his understand of his culture and himself didn’t come until LATER in life while he was IN CHICAGO.

Barack Obama was raised by an old white woman and white man (his grandparents). Whether any black person wants to admit it or not they helped shape him into the man he is today.
__________________________________
I you read promise to power, it will explain in detail how he felt that he did not belong. He had no relationship with his father and that;’s when he started to use Malcolm as a stand-in of what he would like his father to be like, it wasn’t until much later, that Obama was around his father and found that he didn’t like him.

His words,Not mine. REad the book. I am not going to exchange insults/argument with you.

DO the research. The book is called ffrom Promise to Power.

@ always

then it needs to be the responsibility of the adults that choose who they want to be fathers to their unborn children. There are no arranged marriages in the black community everyone chooses who they decide to lay down with. Obviously people need to use better judgement when they decide to give someone their heart instead of using it as an excuse for possible outcomes.

i believe we are all created equal regardless of race. let me be clear, i am no way eluding to the notion that white men are somehow better than black. i am merely suggesting it is time for me to take a different approach.

—————————————————–

Why not Arab men then? They supposedly take care of

their families.

families

@always knew

“her and my dad used to tell me often, you will have to be three times as good as everybody else, to get half the way. You will hav to learn to think outside of the box. They both gave me Black History until I turned blue. All the inventions, struggles and insults all the way up to the 60s, when they were young couple.”

LOL, your dad and my dad came from the same school of thought. My parents had me in black history quiz bowls, lol. I’m thankful every day for those lessons.

@redbone- @always knew,”No offense but you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. Last time I check Hawaii was apart of this country which was where Obama spent most of his life after his mother moved him back the states due Indonesia failed education system.”
_____________________________________

he was there in a private school alone, because his mother was getting remarried and the family didn’t really bother with him too much, because he was a bi-racial blk child..

his words not mine..

his mother stayed with him until he was 8, he was basically on his own after that. Barack became very introverted and didn’t talk alot, because HE FELT THE DIFFERNCE.

DO THE RESEARCH. PROMISE TO POWER- BARACK OBAMA

JB:

I am a mother who does not allow her daughter to get caught up the television. I wasn’t allowed to and neither is she. BUT it’s not just the media influencing our young women. It’s friends, community, etc….. It’s like a rash you just can’t stop. I try my best, and I’m a damn good mother and will NEVER stop trying to instill “being a good, and respectable woman” mentality into my daughter. Sometimes they fall off and your HAVE to be there to get em back on track no matter what it takes

so now when a black woman stand up for herself and her own she is full of hate? well i happen to believe this is a black man coping mechanism too.
—

it’s not a coping mechanism. If you had love in your heart you would come with solutions and positive thoughts and not continue to spew nothing but hateful comments and insult those who do not share your same sentiments. you haven’t given one suggestion yet to how you will help change the now

trs (I COME IN PEACE)

This thread has made me so disheartened. It’s exhausting to see us beating each other up like this.

Not me, I still got the Kalashnikov in one hand and the sword in the other, win or loose I back black! Aint nothing like a sista!!!

Elle
I was just responding to what u said @ 3:16…

I got a solution…look for what u want out of your partners…dont rush about it…dont try to change anyone….respect everyone…if u dont find what u want, keep it moving…

TO ALL YOU STRONG BLK SISTAZ IN HERE!

…YOU ARE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE HIGHEST OF MORALS AND DISIPLINE,STAND TALL WITH YOUR HEADS TO THE HEAVENS GIVING STRENGTH TO ALL YOUR RIGHTEOUS YOUNG WHO ARE BLESSED WITH YOUR ILLUMINATED PRESENCE.

“understood. Still I ask…why do you hold white men

in sucha place of esteem?”

still i aks why does the black man hold the white woman in such a place of esteem?

A woman cannot teach a man to be a man. all races know a man needs to be around to teach his son masculine qualities. at what point odes the black man be held accountable for his abandonment of children namely his sons? i love how you blame the black woman for everything wrong with the black man in your post but then end it with everyone needs to be held accountable for themselves. you are such a hypocrit that its sad. but then you say i’m full of hate? you make no sense whatsoever.
—
first and foremost sister the reason for my post was to show you that there is not one person to blame you would have seen that if you would let your guard down and stop looking at it for face value. My point was there is not one single entity to blame for society’s trouble you have to blame everyone.

a black man DOES NOT have to be insecure in order to date a woman of another race. I think thats a myth thats passed around in order to protect egos and boost self esteem of women that feel unwanted.

Elle
I was just responding to what u said @ 3:16…

I got a solution…look for what u want out of your partners…dont rush about it…dont try to change anyone….respect everyone…if u dont find what u want, keep it moving…
—-

those were not my thoughts those were someone else’s my response came under it but the fact that the message is out there I’m sure the person will get it.

“DaHonestTruth ~ Turn My SWAG On

“Answer me this….why do you hold white men in such

a place of esteem considering all the things that

they have done to all races, not just Blacks?

This is what I don’t understand?”

you mean like how the black man holds the white woman in such high regard after all she has done to the masses, namely him?

—————————————————-

one topic @ a time. That’s a discussion for another

day. right now we’re talking about something else.

Let’s not loose focus I really want to know the

answer to this.:-)”

whoa back up. you are asking why a black woman would hold a white man in such high esteem and i am asking why a black man holds a white woman in such high esteem. what is the difference? why is one relevant and the other is not?

@Nik

“I am so afraid for this next generation of women. I am so sad for them What have we done?”

I think that rather than be discouraged that we can all individually do our part to ameliorate the conditions that others may live under. For example, there are plenty of mentorship opportunities for sisters — and brothers — who want to take children under their wing and give them a sense of direction and guidance. We have much more power than we give ourselves credit for. It’s never too late to take action.

rome a.k.a. (Tiger Hood!!)

i believe we are all created equal regardless of race. let me be clear, i am no way eluding to the notion that white men are somehow better than black. i am merely suggesting it is time for me to take a different approach.

—————————————————–

Why not Arab men then? They supposedly take care of

their families.

families

———–

word is they are very dominating, i might try an asian tho

FACE IT PEOPLE,we are a cursed race.we were cursed from the time of phoeroh till modern days.all we have to do is live your life and rise above the ashes.i know the black community today is an eye sore,but we cant think about that all day.we wont get no where individually.

THIS STRONG BLK WOMAN,…IS OF SUPREME KNOWLEDGE WISDOM,AND INTELLIGIENCE THIS BLK WOMAN SHE HAS THE INNER AND OUTER GLOWING BEAUTY OF ANCIENT WISDOM ,..BLESS YOU! NO WOMAN ON THIS PLANET EARTH HAS YOUR GLORIOUS CHARACTERISTICS !!!

@ Pimpin

Not me, I still got the Kalashnikov in one hand and the sword in the other, win or loose I back black! Aint nothing like a sista!!!
————————————————-

LOL Thank you. I needed to hear that!

LOL, your dad and my dad came from the same school of thought. My parents had me in black history quiz bowls, lol. I’m thankful every day for those lessons!

@ DaHonestTruth ~ Turn My SWAG On

good point! that is a fair question

“it’s not a coping mechanism. If you had love in your heart you would come with solutions and positive thoughts and not continue to spew nothing but hateful comments and insult those who do not share your same sentiments. you haven’t given one suggestion yet to how you will help change the now”

so you are blaming the black woman for everything and i am saying the black man does not escape this he plays a role too. you are blaming one side and i am blaming both but i’m the problem here. you are a hypocrit. and honey you insulted me a long time ago. miss me with that victim bullshit.

CAT:

HERE HERE!!! LOL… I have a NO TOLERANCE rule in my house! My neices and little cousins already know if you come to auntie Nik’s house you better be dressed and your behaivor better be in check cause I DO NOT play. I dont like it, and will not have it. You can let your kids do what they want at your house but I play with a completely different deck

TO ALL YOU STRONG BLK SISTAZ IN HERE!

…YOU ARE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE HIGHEST OF MORALS AND DISIPLINE,STAND TALL WITH YOUR HEADS TO THE HEAVENS GIVING STRENGTH TO ALL YOUR RIGHTEOUS YOUNG WHO ARE BLESSED WITH YOUR ILLUMINATED PRESENCE.

**********************
thanks Glok!!

@lovinglife….if men would strap up we wouldn’t be having these baby mama’s mess….and that goes for the woman too everybody can’t hit rawdog all the time…and who came up with that word anyway…..it makes me cringe when I here it on E!/TMZ….just don’t sound right….lol
I love the article but what pisses me off about our black men is that they tell these woman w/o color that we are neck rolling/loud so they come on these forums repeating what some bum told them and that pisses me off…I have no problem with any mixed couple…more power to them…cuz I got my black man…and can get any black/white/latino/India man I wanted ….

TRS I agree 100%…..

OK, I think someone just copied my gravie. . .

blessing to you glock!!!!

If I could jut ask everyone here to read one book:

It’s called Evolution of a Revoltionary
by Afeni Shakur/ Jasmine Guy

you will understand about the rims, cars, bling and trinckets, the imporatance of land, family, black men and black women relying on each other, core values, self, things that we lost and can’t get back. You might even understand why some of us, hate ourselves.

The hate that hate made….

Check it out.You have ntohing to lose and only understanding to gain….

@ Glok

THIS STRONG BLK WOMAN,…IS OF SUPREME KNOWLEDGE WISDOM,AND INTELLIGIENCE THIS BLK WOMAN SHE HAS THE INNER AND OUTER GLOWING BEAUTY OF ANCIENT WISDOM ,..BLESS YOU! NO WOMAN ON THIS PLANET EARTH HAS YOUR GLORIOUS CHARACTERISTICS !!
————————————————

Thanks for having our back Glok!!!

NIK

CAT:

HERE HERE!!! LOL… I have a NO TOLERANCE rule in my house! My neices and little cousins already know if you come to auntie Nik’s house you better be dressed and your behaivor better be in check cause I DO NOT play. I dont like it, and will not have it. You can let your kids do what they want at your house but I play with a completely different deck

————

i can tell by reading your comments that you are a good mother and your kids are better for it.

@always knew,

he was there in a private school alone, because his mother was getting remarried and the family didn’t really bother with him too much, because he was a bi-racial blk child..

his words not mine..

his mother stayed with him until he was 8, he was basically on his own after that. Barack became very introverted and didn’t talk alot, because HE FELT THE DIFFERNCE.

DO THE RESEARCH. PROMISE TO POWER- BARACK OBAMA
_____________

Again it is common sense to read Barack Obama autobio instead of the book promise to power written by a white man….COMMON SENSE. Barack Obama’s mom moved him to Hawaii because of Indoseia’s piss poor educational system. His mother DID NOT want to send him away but did so because she wanted him to have a better education than what he was getting. The family didn’t have anything against him being biracial….hello…his SISTER IS ALSO BIRACIAL!!!! His step-father was an Idonesia man who treated him well.

It is common sense to take the words of THE MAN HIMSELF from his AUTOBIO than some white man trying to make a buck off his name….slap yourself.

so you are blaming the black woman for everything and i am saying the black man does not escape this he plays a role too. you are blaming one side and i am blaming both but i’m the problem here. you are a hypocrit. and honey you insulted me a long time ago. miss me with that victim bullshit.
—

ok let me try this again and try to open your eyes, I not once blamed the black woman or the black man, EVERYONE is to blame. Stop letting emotion take over calling people names fails to get anyone very far. I would like to believe that we are all adults so why not carry on a debate like adults

cat4everrr- I don’t mean to pry, but it could very well be the type of blk man that you are attracted too…Or maybe like some of the blk guys that hav given up on blk wmn, you are just partial to them and don;t care to be bothered, by your own…

No offense, but that’s what it seems like..

I can never understand a bro/ sis who says they don’ like their own.. I could never understand that.. I understand now, but I don’t accept that line of reasoning…It’s that same closed minded thinking that led you out of your comfort zone to begin with…

Thanks Glok! I knew you had it in you to play nice, lol!!

Rome…

It’s subconscious…think about it…the entire world changes up the way it naturally speaks/interacts with loved ones when once around white folks. They have been in power for a long time…and it took a mental toll.

Now…it’s time for everyone to be on the same level. I hope some of yall have been keeping up with the new supreme court nomination. Folks have had the audacity to say that previous and sitting justices for the most part siding with the “old white male” way of thinking was the right thing to do. Damn near half the country believes the same thing…most of our supervisors and routes to true independence will be guarded by these types of people. We can’t help but associate them with that which controls us…therefore…I hate to say it…we place them above us.

It’s ok though…this too shall pass. This is the change Obama was talking about…his speech from Cairo today proved it. We just have to believe and not be afraid to get ours…and not clam up when the “good ol boy” rears his head.

The issue is how society defines femininity. You can be strong, hard-working and independent, but those are actually masculine terms. Using those words to describe yourself only intimidates men.

What turns many people off is when women appear too masculine and they lose the special traits that make us “women:” grace, tact, articulate, compassionate and caring. Appearing brassy, overly opinionated, shrewish, brooding, overbearing or butch is not appealing.

I had a man once tell me that the reason why he was no longer dating me was because I acted like I didn’t need him. He said he had no role to play. This was at a time when I was an up and comer and was dead set on not making myself look weak in any aspect of my life.

You can call me stupid, but I know what I know. Men don’t want another man, they want a woman…

Cat:

I am trying SO hard. I really really am. I’m having a hard time with all the other parents that don’t It’s like no matter how many good things you try to instill into your children it takes that ONE bad sead to try to errase everything you have worked so hard for. But I can tell you one thing, as a mother and as a black mother with a black daughter, until I take my last breath she WILL grow up to be a well spoked, strong, well educated woman who will NOT be ashamed of who she is.

@Syd

Who got your gravie?

” I just don’t like people always downing the

black man.”

but i guess the black woman is supposed to be cool with being dogged out.

@red bone- “His step-father was an Idonesia man who treated him well.”
_________________________________________

his step father didn’t mistreat him but basically ignored him. It was difcult for him to try to raise a blk man’s child and there were very few blks in Indonesia. It was easierfor them t send me away, so they didn’t have to deal with it, be reminded that I didn’t fit in.

READ THE BOOK.

@ Awesome

It sometimes makes me wonder if the people up here are really living this stuff everyday or are they just jumping on the badwagon. I feel really bad for them and their situations if the 1st thought is the case.
————————————————-

I think that is part of the problem. Clearly, as a whole BW and BM have been hurt by the other party. The “independent women” beef, the “dead beat daddy” beef, etc. All of this animosity is a direct reflection of our problems with each other and our failure to bridge the gap and fix it!

How do you think that BW and BM can begin the healing process?

“ok let me try this again and try to open your eyes, I not once blamed the black woman or the black man, EVERYONE is to blame. Stop letting emotion take over calling people names fails to get anyone very far. I would like to believe that we are all adults so why not carry on a debate like adults”

well you would never know by the statementsyou are making. they appear to be very anti – blame the black woman for everything. just like you feel a need to defend the black man i feel a need to defend the black woman.

DaHonestTruth ~ Turn My SWAG On

i like your style…lol

@Speaking the truth. . .

I don’t know who has it, but it’s clearly distorted. SMH. I didn’t write that post to Glok. Too much foolishness, I swear.

Take care.

YOU WELCOME LADIES ,.. BUT THANK YOU FOR BEING SPAWNED in your sacred holy place of divine creation,…your womb is of “triple divine darkness” and is a direct reflection and microcosm to the expanse of this universe where the whole world of creation was created!

GLOK:

LOL I love you! LOL you are killing me “triple devine darkness” LOL LOL

I have had enough of this foolishness! Ok, I have been Marquis de Sade, Film, and Kevin but what I do on my free time has no influence on what you do with your time. I wanted to spread my knowledge and felt I could do so more accurately with multiple characters! Im out.

Take care.

well you would never know by the statementsyou are making. they appear to be very anti – blame the black woman for everything. just like you feel a need to defend the black man i feel a need to defend the black woman.
—

wow things are really black and white for you huh? no pun intended. Correct me if i’m wrong but you are the one that has been playing the blame it game I didn’t blame black women for any downfall I simply asked a question to show that you can not blame anyone but oneself if not everyone and that black women needed to stop feeling sorry for themselves because it is truly a weakness. But Ok….

“DaHonestTruth ~ Turn My SWAG On

i like your style…lol”

thanks. i like yours too.

@JB

I think we all need to look past the sterotypes (except the sagging pants cause I hate that shit) and try to see the person. Just cause I havea good job and am educated(ok I will graduate in a few) doesn’t mean that I am better than the guy who is out there digging a dtch making less than me. He might have good morals and values that I am looking for to LEAD me in the right direction.
—————————————————

Girl I TOTALLY agree with you! Sometimes a man will think that you’re acting high and mighty because of your degrees when you’re really not….

But you’re totally right that we should not look down on each other because of lack of degrees and social status. This is a major problem between BW and BM. Hell if a man has a “plan” and is working towards it, that’s good enough for me. He doesn’t have to have a bunch of degrees or a lot of $ to impress me. I just need to know that he’s going somewhere and that he has goals to get him there.

dang..see ya….

Time to go…wonderful, spirited discussion today.

@alway knew,

Your response show me that you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. The book you sited, Obama: FROM PROMISE TO POWER was written by a white man by the name of David Mendall. BARACK OBAMA WROTE HIS OWN AUTOBIO Dreams from my father where he talks about his step-father and everything else.

Suggestion to you…don’t speak on something that you read from an INFERIOR source it makes you look stupid. It should be common sense to you to take the facts from the horse’s mouth and not some 3rd party.

Bye Sydney!

Thanks for sharing today.

black women try to get their points across the wrong ways…yelling, naggin, getting in people’s faces. What your trying to prove usually is valid but your approach is all wrong. approach determines sucess or failure.

BLK WOMAN YOUR WOMB IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF GODS AND GODDESSES. IN THE DIVINE DARKNESS OF YOUR FERTILE WOMB IS THE MATERIAL WEALTH OF ALL CREATION ,..THANK YOU SISTAZ.SEVEN STAGES OF SELF CREATION ALL COMPLETED HERE , IN YOU MY PRECIOUS BLK GODDESSES YOU ARE TRULY A STRONG BLK WOMAN! AND I LOVE ALL OF YA!

NIK

Cat:

I am trying SO hard. I really really am. I’m having a hard time with all the other parents that don’t It’s like no matter how many good things you try to instill into your children it takes that ONE bad sead to try to errase everything you have worked so hard for. But I can tell you one thing, as a mother and as a black mother with a black daughter, until I take my last breath she WILL grow up to be a well spoked, strong, well educated woman who will NOT be ashamed of who she is.

————–

*sending positive energy your way* you are on the right path.

i literally had to console my oldest daughter for over an hour who was in tears after explaining to her boyfriend he would have to wait for sexual contact. he later broke up with her. i took all the time necessary to reassure her that she did the right thing even in the face of “everyone else doing it” so that she understood the status quo is often times the wrong course. it takes a leader to see beyond today and realize how the decisions we make in the now impacts tomorrow. i remind her over and over everyday that i have clear plans set out for her future. i constantly map out for her how a wrong decision can deviate her course to success.

i’m thankful for mommy’s like you. you are a diamond in the rough!

“Correct me if i’m wrong but you are the one that has been playing the blame it game I didn’t blame black women for any downfall I simply asked a question to show that you can not blame anyone but oneself if not everyone and that black women needed to stop feeling sorry for themselves because it is truly a weakness. But Ok….”

what i have been doing is combating the likes of you who would have everyone believe the black woman alone is the reason for the down fall of this race to the point that further up you even commented on how shouldn’tthe black woman be the one raising her sons to be good men. that is a total blame the black woman for everything comment. but as you said OK!

yall want something to blame.blame it on drugs.drugs is the reason brothers want to sell it for quick money.why? cause ladies love diamonds and green.thats why most brothers in jail.theres nothing cool about the hood.

blame it on rap.how we degrade our woman,and treat them as objects and not mother earth.and then the ladies like that kind of talk,and take on the portrait she sees on tv,and mold her mind frame to think like that.thats whats gives brothers the boost to go out there and get it.then get caught up in the game.

@ trs

How do you think that BW and BM can begin the healing process?
_____________________________________________

I have so many thoughts on that, I don’t know where to begin.

1) First things first, BW and BM have to acknowledge their faults. The B*****s ain’t ish and all men are dogs monikers usually come from people that don’t want to come to terms with their own imperfections, or don’t know who to correct them.

2) We need to stop feeding into the stereotypes. There’s are tons and tons good BM and BW out there. But if all you do is add fuel to the flame, of course the fire is going to get hotter.

3) This kind of coincides with #1, but we need to be honest with ourselves. I feel the “Independent Woman” I don’t need a man steez comes from females with trust issues. Too afraid to fully give yourself to someone. The dead beat dads, can’t settle down guys have respect issues. You don’t know what it means to value another life, so therefore you do nothing to provide for or respect it.

That’s just a few

Bye always knew!

Always keep your mouth shut and never ever tell on your friends”….NEW AWLINZ STATE OF MIND 504)

…when we jump the fence and fine a woman of another race, its a problem. thats where my problem stands. if you are so strong that you dont need us, let us go. which is not what i want.

—————

we are in agreement! black women should also take the same approach.

@ #12

I love when you drop the knowledge!!

@nik
im not trying to be an azz, but why don’t you teach your daughter how to be diverse, how to learn to respect herself and others espeically the elders. how to love and not to have hate no matter the circumstances, how to embrace her african root, how to learn not to be loud and arrogant. i hate this strong black blah blah crap.

@Awesome – I have so many thoughts on that, I don’t know where to begin.

1) First things first, BW and BM have to acknowledge their faults. The B*****s ain’t ish and all men are dogs monikers usually come from people that don’t want to come to terms with their own imperfections, or don’t know who to correct them.

2) We need to stop feeding into the stereotypes. There’s are tons and tons good BM and BW out there. But if all you do is add fuel to the flame, of course the fire is going to get hotter.

3) This kind of coincides with #1, but we need to be honest with ourselves. I feel the “Independent Woman” I don’t need a man steez comes from females with trust issues. Too afraid to fully give yourself to someone. The dead beat dads, can’t settle down guys have respect issues. You don’t know what it means to value another life, so therefore you do nothing to provide for or respect it.

That’s just a few

***************************************

I co-sign this list..

@Redbone

“@alway knew,

Your response show me that you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. The book you sited, Obama: FROM PROMISE TO POWER was written by a white man by the name of David Mendall. BARACK OBAMA WROTE HIS OWN AUTOBIO Dreams from my father where he talks about his step-father and everything else.

Suggestion to you…don’t speak on something that you read from an INFERIOR source it makes you look stupid. It should be common sense to you to take the facts from the horse’s mouth and not some 3rd party.”
_________________________

I got what I did, when I read the book. I also read others…Usually, I respondto profanity with profanity, but I am in a much higher place today, and I’m not spending the rest of the day, arguing over reading selections!

If that’s the way you feel GREAT! But I am not going to argue with you over something that I read and didn’t write. Have a nice night, you can find someone else to argue with, I’ve had a long day,want to be with hubby and my kids, so goodbye, all take care…Don;t argue too much..

@ Awesome

I feel the “Independent Woman” I don’t need a man steez comes from females with trust issues. Too afraid to fully give yourself to someone. The dead beat dads, can’t settle down guys have respect issues. You don’t know what it means to value another life, so therefore you do nothing to provide for or respect it.
—————————————————

Dang you just took us to school!

*claps for Awesome*

” if you are so strong that you dont need us, let us go. which is not what i want.”

and if your too weak to deal with us the move on.

Hey mom

JB….YOU ARE LUCKY I’M HEADING UP THE I95 THIS WEEKEND….I’M GONNA GET YOU WHEN I SEE YOU THOUGH…LOL

@ Double L

I do what I can, lol.

LAdy A

I know not of what you speak. LOL

M-Deezy

Hey mom

WTF???? LOLLLLL

@always knew,

I’m just pointing out what should have been COMMON SENSE to you.

“When I asked him about the Black girls in his school, he said and I quote. “Grandma, they are mad scary”. When I asked what do you mean by that. He said they are loud in the hallway and always fighting. I try not to look at them, they may want to fight me.”

i wonder how the black boys in his school act in the hallway and if he’s so scared of them. ‘i try not to look at them or they might want to fight me? he sounds like a weak little fag. i dont even buy thir story. again the very same can be said for the black man and then some. its funny this little fag fears a gir lwanting to fight him. i wonder if he fears a black boy and his boys teaming up on and beating the crap out of him or robbing him.

BE

@Awesome – I have so many thoughts on that, I don’t know where to begin.

1) First things first, BW and BM have to acknowledge their faults. The B*****s ain’t ish and all men are dogs monikers usually come from people that don’t want to come to terms with their own imperfections, or don’t know who to correct them.

2) We need to stop feeding into the stereotypes. There’s are tons and tons good BM and BW out there. But if all you do is add fuel to the flame, of course the fire is going to get hotter.

3) This kind of coincides with #1, but we need to be honest with ourselves. I feel the “Independent Woman” I don’t need a man steez comes from females with trust issues. Too afraid to fully give yourself to someone. The dead beat dads, can’t settle down guys have respect issues. You don’t know what it means to value another life, so therefore you do nothing to provide for or respect it.

That’s just a few

***************************************

I AGREE.NICE ONE BRO

@DAHONEST
he was just a kid, you moron.

LOON:

If you read our whole convo, that’s exactly what I’m want to instill in my daughter. What mother would want something else?

LOVE YOU TOO NIK ,…LOL!

cat4everr

i understand what your saying.but im only speaking of things i see,things that i go through every day.

@nik
ok, cool… i was thinking nowadays mothers teaches thier daughter to be strong and not to depend on any man blah blah nonsense.

Thank you Thank you, you’re far too kind.

back in the 70′s and 80′s,it was cool to be black.what happend?

!!MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

cat4everr

i understand what your saying.but im only speaking of things i see,things that i go through every day.

—————-

lol…i like how you turned that “my personal experience” thing around on me…touche…lol

aww shit! they got me advertising and not paying me.

cat4everr

besos’

@ Mocars

back in the 70’s and 80’s,it was cool to be black.what happend?
______________________________

Nothing changed.

LOL AWESOME…I WAS WAITING FOR A SOLUTION ALL DAY

@Glok9n: The real glok !!! Lev 20:13
I’m really beginning to like you, my friend! LoL… But real talk, your last few post made me feel extra great. LoL, my husband makes me feel like a queen everyday but what you said is truly beautiful, being that I’m a black woman and often times feel unappreciated.

!!MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

back in the 70’s and 80’s,it was cool to be black.what happend?

TECHNOLOGY…SPRAY TANS, EXTENSIONS FOR WHITE GIRLS, GEL, CURLY PERMS, BOTOX, LIP INJECTIONS, BOOTY ENHANCEMENTS….THE LIST GOES ON…

awsome

allot has changed.back in those days,everything in america was about black and white.nowadays,where falling behind on the racial ladder.

@sydney
@Nik

“I like to think I am a black woman who carries herself appropriately, but there was a time where other black women would call me fake, white girl, valley girl, ect.. because I “talk proper” and I’m “too plain””

Hey, some said the same about Michelle Obama, and she kept on being herself.

“I think some young black women have a hard time finding themselves and who they want to be.”

I think some young sistas lack the proper role models to teach them about appropriate behaviors and ladylike traits, and the same is true for some young brothers.

There was one morning on the Metro when I was reading the paper on the way to work and I heard two boys and a girl talking loudly behind me, and the girl was using four-letter words, etc., and it made me cringe. When my stop came, I summoned the nerve to comment to her that she was far too beautiful to use such language. I just think a number of kids just haven’t received the guidance they need to know what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

I was not going to comment but you said exactly the same thing I was feeling. Its depressing because alot of this is not my reality and I hate it that it obviously is for some of my people. I’ve come to wonder maybe it is because I was never taught that I had to be a strong black woman I just had to be me. My mother did not go around preaching how strong she was and I had to be. Her and all of her sisters have been married for 30 plus years. When I was younger I thought that I was lacking because of this but now I consider myself lucky because I don’t have a problem with black men I think most of the ones I know are great!!!

I have to add Rome is the realest!!! some of yall will never get what he is saying

!!MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

cat4everr

besos’

———-

abrazo apretado

lady a

lol!your a mess

@ Lady A

Haha, yeah. Everyone wants to sit on the couch and say the TV doesn’t work, but no one wants to get up and see if its plugged up.

cat4ever

que? no hablo mas espanol.digame (abrazo apretado)en ingles

!!MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

lady a

lol!your a mess

ITS TRUE…PEOPLE WANTED TO LOOK LIKE US…NOT NECESSARILY INHERIT OUR PROBLEMS OR PERSONALITIES….THEY JUST WANTED TO LOOK LIKE US…

lady a

very true.i guess you answered my question

_________________

usted primero- besos’?

!!MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

cat4ever

que? no hablo mas espanol.digame (abrazo apretado)en ingles

______________

usted primero- besos’?

back in the 70’s and 80’s,it was cool to be black.what happend?

I think it became standard for us when everyone else wanted to start haing what we are genetically born with.

Ma dukes where you at???

new awlinz

well this is a gossip site.and mostly only woman gossip.sometimes i feel wierd being on a gossip blog.but i can say ive learned that thier are people in america,who see and think about the state of our people.

@ Mocars

The way people interact with eachother has changed since the 70s and 80s and we have also become global. For instance, there is still a fascination with black features, but now instead of talking about them, people go and buy them for themselves. Globalization has upped our brand in other countries and a stunning BW or dapper BM still commands attention whenever he walks into any room.

Ma I need help with my math homework

cat4evver

mwahh! adios mi amor.

i don’t shout jump about or act hard and I am very much a black woman. The reason why is that its not how I was taught to conduct myself even in anger. I had many sisters mistake my behavior for weak all the while they are on there 4 or 5 baby daddy and renting a two bed room apartment while I I like the complete opposite. I think the black female community needs to redefine what it means to be strong because its not defined by how loud you can speak over or out talk someone even when you are dead wrong. How many men you can play or make a trick or lastly having children by men don’t give a damn about you enough to give him a name but you bear his children.

awsome

exactly! my man

Awesome-O-3000 (But I’m too dark to tan)

@ Mocars

The way people interact with eachother has changed since the 70s and 80s and we have also become global. For instance, there is still a fascination with black features, but now instead of talking about them, people go and buy them for themselves. Globalization has upped our brand in other countries and a stunning BW or dapper BM still commands attention whenever he walks into any room.

DON’T COPY ME…LOL

!!MOcarsMOclothesMOjewelsMOhoes!!

cat4evver

mwahh! adios mi amor.

_____________
adiós mi amigo

and good-bye to everyone else. enjoy the rest of your evening!

woe

thats that hood shit.and that brings me to my point about hiphop.

HOLYFIELD MOMMY 2B!

SISTA I LOVE YOU BLK WOMAN AND I CANT EXPRESS NO FUTHER THAN THIS PC ALLOWS ME , YOU SISTAZ ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN US MEN IN SOME INSTANCES AND HAVE HELD DOWN FORT AND YALL STILL DO IT TO THIS DAY YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!,.. I LIKE YOU ALREADY AND HUBBY IS A LUCKY MAN !! GOD BLESS!

Ok Lady A and #12 I am out. Holla at yall later!!

lol @ only women gossip…go to worldstahiphop.com, hiphopdx, mediatkeout, allhiphop.com, lmao men gossip mor than women.

HEY NEW AWLINZ…I’M HITTIN UP YOUR CITY NEXT MONTH

nawlinz

oh for real?

@ Lady A

Haha, it took me like 10 min to type that, i was doing other stuff. Didn’t mean to copy, lol.

Later Double L

lady a

pick me up on your way thru georgia.i could meet you in savanah and then go from 95 to i10 and we’ll be on our way.

well i guess this thread fell off.soooo…TO THE BEYONCE THREAD.

@Glok9n
LoL thanks hun! Where u live? If you’re single I have some cousins… You might be interested in one. LMAO I’m always riding hard for black love!

BYE MO

AWESOME…I SEE YOUR A SLOW TYPER…LOL

Lady a…ill be waiting

@ Lady A

Awww, come on now. I actually type really fast. People just keep comeing by my desk being annoying.

Awesome-O-3000 (But I’m too dark to tan)

@ Lady A

Awww, come on now. I actually type really fast. People just keep comeing by my desk being annoying.

MMMHMMMM SURE YOU DO

I think many of us focus to much outward on others, thus creating our own perceptions/delusions about their intentions. Just because someone does something a bit different than you, doesn’t mean their flossing on you. Imagine how much stronger we’d all be if we focused the energy on ourselves… Gotta stop putting words in other folks mouths. I can’t tell You more about Yourself, than You can…

i just hope we all can overcome and make this blk women vs blk men. seem like we the only race that bicker like this. i womder if the whites have gossip sites that post white woman vs white man.
+_____________

ms lady a my humble city will be happy to have u. try the house of blues on decatur. my run up on a concert and not even know. hope u enjoy yourself.

Always keep your mouth shut and never ever tell on your friends”….NEW AWLINZ STATE OF MIND 504)
ms lady a my humble city will be happy to have u. try the house of blues on decatur. my run up on a concert and not even know. hope u enjoy yourself.

THANKS…I’M GONN TRY TO GET THE MOST OF IT…IT WILL BE MY FIRST TIME SO I WILL TAKE TONS OF PICS

might*….
_________________________________
@ lady A i hope u enjoy yourself

@ Lady A

Haha for real. I’m trying to close down a site, and everyone has so many questions.

GOODNITE PPL

Nite Lady A

New Orleans, one of my favorite cities. I love the food!! Favorite places to eat, Emeril’s restaurant, Nola, K Paul’s Louisiana Kitchen (Chef Paul Prudhomme), Dooky Chase (owned by sistah, Leah Chase–restaurant is in the hood, but the food is well worth the trip), Acme Lobster House and of course, beignets from Cafe Du Monde!!

2 sisters and dookie chases…….soulllllllll foooooooooood

acme oyster house*….anyway i c u know ya stuff.,

HOLYFIELD MOMMY2B!
IM FROM NY LOVE!

OK IM LATE AS HELL ,BUT IM ALWAYS SINGLE FOR THAT NEW INTELLIGENT BLK LADY!..LOL,WE GONNA TALK SIS BECUZ IM A BIG FAN OF BLK LOVE!

XMAS JONES!
I LOVE YOU FOR THIS POST, IT SPEAKS VOLUMES , AND MUCH LOVE FOR UNDERSTANDING KNOWLEDGE !

@Christmas
Amen sista! Perfectly stated!

@christmasjones – I’m done blaming black people for this, and whites for that. The devil is a liar and a deceiver, and we have to stop letting him deceive us.

**********
Exactly, why let society dictate what is good for you? if everyone took care of their part of the world maybe it would get better – it does not take a revolution to make change.

@enkog- your gravie looks like someone who use to post here named the truth..is that you?

Wow, this subject matter is very controversial, lol. I see a problem with being strong just as long as the chick is cool and balanced, and not a nut case, lol. As far as the gender role issue is concerned, well I think that these traditional roles have been redifined, lol. Usually Black couples the power is shared, seriously. And besides this isn’t some 1950 Leave it to Beaver crap, lol.

Opps, I meant that I don’t see a problem with being strong, sorry !

For the guys that don’t like strong women then you are not worthy, lol…

LOL, no but prior to this I did have another nic nd changed it after conversing with Sydney though she may not remember because I realized or at least it appeared to me that the nic alone kind of trumped what I was saying……..nobody’s perfect…

@ Carla, you are too cute! I agree though with your statement “As far as the gender role issue is concerned, well I think that these traditional roles have been redifined, lol. Usually Black couples the power is shared, seriously. ”

I’ve noticed that as well.

hey people it was real, I gotta go, my peoples asking for rides. Lol…peace

good night CJones!

@Carla

I was listening to Basden the other day and they were talking bout what you just said…”I don’t know a brotha thats scared of or can’t handle(don’t really like that word in this context)a strong black woman and in fact strong black women are exactly who brothas are searching for and if blessed marry. What they pointed out was that it’s a phrase used all to often by some women that are single to mask the true reason they can’t find that significant other which is they are crazy, possessive and controlling and confuse that with being strong. I guess it depends on who it is and their definition of it, some brothas use strong strong black man as justification to control, dominate and abuse…..but they’ll say their woman left because she couldn’t handle a real man……

Just catching up and for the record, Marquise de Sade is his own man, and I be myself.

No double back game playing. And on the same note, yea some Brothers on here say things in a rather abrupt manner, but in all honesty, that doesn’t negate the fact that alot of what they say may be based in truth…

And for the record, what’s mentioned in this 8:04 post regarding what was discussed on Basden is very true and to the point…

Yea, Its time to shake the office and runhome and root my Lakers on against them folks from Orlando…..later ya’ll

Ladies, “Keep Ya Head Up” “2pac”!

@ an “Oh my goodness”

Damn, girl!

How do you let a man be a man when he’s not being a man?

@ Sydney,

You say today the the conversation is so nice in here; want me to throw a wrench in that sh*t right now?

I can, you know I can!

love 6am

Cat4everrr, I read your post about Middle Eastern guys even though they take care of the family they are dominating, isn’t that the damn truth ! Lol.
And you mentioned Asian guys good luck.

Nah, most of the strong black women with their head on straight I know got a dude. It’s the chicks with intimacy issues, body issues, financial issues and anger issues that usually are alone. Being loud and/or obnoxious doesn’t make you a strong woman.

There is a major distinction between a black woman that is independent and respectful and the black woman that thinks she’s indepedent because she can buy a whole bunch of insignificant things on her own and is just loud and ghetto. The problem is that there is not a proper distinction between the two. A black woman can be independent and still be respectful cater and respect her man. Know one owes us black women anything but respect, and that only comes when we respect ourselves. Let’s not generalize this subject because there are some black women who are just down right embarrassing to the sisterhood
_______________

PREACH!!!

Damn my Lakers spankin that ass……

SWAG On

“Let me remind everyone that black women are strong by nature. When our men were brutally killed and/or taken away, we led the household. But, not by choice. We’ve been force-fed this idea of superhuman strength for centuries. When our men marched, we marched. We our men were slain while fighting for justice, we picked up the torch, bounced the baby on our hips and carried on. No one will ever love a black man, like a black woman. It’s a love that’s deep-rooted in our souls; a kinship perfected over time. And, now we’re being crucified for the very thing that shapes our identities as black women.’

BIBLE!
_______

Co-sign!!! I wish they could see that though!!!

@Its6am

Grow up! Sometimes I can smile at your comments and other times you simply repulse by the thought of being surronded by such ignorance! Ok, I had to get that out of my system before getting some much needed rest!!

It takes a man and a women to make a baby. How many our our children have been raised by a women? As for black men, it was a black women that stood by you and tried her best to raise you without the help of your fathers. Step up to the plate Black Men. We will support you but please try and stop making excuses. Our children are suffering and there is a curse on our race that needs to be broken. Nobody cares to do it but. We have to come back together and work this thing out. A house divided can’t stand. We have given satan way too much power of us. I dread to think the other races might be reading these points. Laughing at us and declaring we will never change.

@ Hottistchickinthegame

Sista trust me know and appreciate our women despite whats been burned into the mainstream thought.

blk women and men should love one another, each is the others match

some men are weak and some women are ghetto but those of us who know better, should be coming together to strengthen our families and to show the others the way

F****** AMEN

I think that if us Black Men be men instead of trying to pimp then we would not be here talking about this!!! Whats sad is black people over 30 still clubbin!!! Thats a 20s thang, once you hit 30 you should be married.

Hey DADDY..ooops I meant Willie Pimping!!

wow 6 am getting soft?

BS if I ever heard it. That why the roles to young males are so confusing. Learn your place

And if a guy does not want to settle down that does not make him weak, just as a woman who holds on to her individuality is not weak for not settling down.You cant be pro-independence and controlling. You cant have it both ways sisters. Come on.

“Some of y’all are so strong you will over look your own unsavory behavior (will it out of your minds as if it never happened) and unfaithfulness….explain it away. Some of you on this site talking about black men KNOW you have men in your lives thinking they are the fathers of your children who really are not. My point? Lets stop acting like black women do not cheat and lie. And no, being better lairs does not make you a better people, ladies. It makes you more untrustworthy.”

Thank You! I’ve noticed that this sorta’ behavior is prevalent amongst a lot of college educated black women. They are very good at “COMPARTMENTALIZING” their “INDISCRETIONS”, and if confronted, will invoke their elitist-like sense of double standards or entitlement.

“As human beings we are a direct reflection of who we come from and most of you sisters are singing the praise of a President who not only comes from this union but who was raised by WHITE WOMEN! Sorry, not a black women in the home. I bet you your salary that he has been with his share of white women (I have been to Hawaii….not many black women) And he is your champion! I mean, these white women had something going on to raise a man that you hold in front of all black men as the example. He married a strong black woman. If this can happen – a black man stong enough for you but made by white women – then we need to examine what is really going on in our hoods. What message sisters are sending to their sons….and daughters?

actually if you care to tell the story the way it happened it was his WHITE grand father and his mothers second ASIAN/INDIAN husband who shaped Barack Obama what he is today – all this after his BLACK father abandoned him. lets not make this about the black woman. she has nothing to do with the equation of raising Barack Obama. his black father abandoned him, not his black mother. are yall really that desperate to blame everything on a black woman?

And now that we’ve gotten that off our chest, can we start making changes? Every other race sticks together but ours. Our race is self destructing. Very sad. God help us.

I have seen my own brother, due to his personal failures, take his frustrations out on his charming and productive “strong” woman. It is sad that much of the friction I observe between black males and females actually seem to be problems of the Self.

I once met a woman who had a much higher social status than I had achieved at the time. Rather than hurling negative vibes at her or to myself I used that as motivation to up my game. I already had a mission, I just fast tracked it after I met her. Now, I am where I should be in life and it is all good. I thank her for it.

Life is what we make of it.

Wow Vandellish,

You just made me think of something. I too had the experience of meeting plenty women who said they wanted that strong independent thinking brother. Yet, when I put in my time to better my community and shared my sociopolitical thoughts with her, she would become overtly bored and would rather have me express “thug genes”.

Remember when the thinker was considered the geek? Many women had supported that notion when I was coming up. You really, hit on something there. I almost forgot about that. We men have become too accustomed to totally blaming ourselves.

if i could do it over, i would marry a different nationality not even american, its not about disfuntion and argueing and stuff. i like peace and quiet, workin out problems peacefully and working together. i dont like immature women giving me hell when they should know better. its the media and jacked up friends are the real problem. lets not confuse african women and african american women do your research. u will see that afican women are alot different.

This whole kind of discussion is a waste of time. Think of the time it took you to read this page. You could have been doing something important. I gave up on black women a long time ago. There’s no future in a sista unless you want to battle constantly and live next door to her mama and her ghetto family the rest of your life. Married to my white suburban queen for 10 years now and couldn’t be happier. She’s shown me a way of life that never could be accomplished with a black woman. Any educated, upwardly-mobile black man needs to dump the “strong black sista” and go for a white or Asian woman STAT.

Dave, did you read my previous post ? Please read it, lol….

Invictus, you sound like an insecure guy and you probably were messing around with hood rat Black chicks, lol…

They wont let me post any more, Carla. Know I had more for you and if I figure out a way to get it up here I will.

Invictus
This whole kind of discussion is a waste of time. Think of the time it took you to read this page. You could have been doing something important. I gave up on black women a long time ago. There’s no future in a sista unless you want to battle constantly and live next door to her mama and her ghetto family the rest of your life. Married to my white suburban queen for 10 years now and couldn’t be happier. She’s shown me a way of life that never could be accomplished with a black woman. Any educated, upwardly-mobile black man needs to dump the “strong black sista” and go for a white or Asian woman STAT.

I know I’m late on this board but I so hope you read this and respond because I am so interested in how your black mother and grandmother responded when you told them they were basically a waste of air.

It always amazes me that SOME black men don’t realize that when they talk bad about there other half (like it or not we are your other half) your talking bad about your mother and other female black relatives