Dear Bossip: His Ex Still Posts Pics Of Them On Social Media & I'm Concerned

Dear Bossip,

My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend continuously posts old pictures of them online and is pretending they’re still together on all her social media accounts.

She has complete control over his Facebook because at one point she knew his email password and changed all his security questions and details, so there’s no way he can get back into his account. She constantly posts pictures of them pretending to be him on his FB, and has them still listed as a couple on there for the world to see. He claims it’s impossible for him to delete that account because it has to be inactive for two weeks in order for that to happen. She recently hacked his Instagram and posted herself as a WCW and he deleted it as soon as he got back on.

This has been going on for months. At the beginning of our relationship, when I first saw the accounts, I thought he had a serious girlfriend so I blocked him and cut him off. I contacted her to tell her that her boyfriend was cheating, but she reacted really weirdly saying, “he probably is” (like she didn’t care). She couldn’t tell me when the last time they were together so I believed him when he continued to say she was “crazy” and couldn’t let go.

She also always posts pictures from a Christmas shoot they did together over a year ago. He has denied being with her every time I have asked him for over 6 months. I want to believe him, but this situation is just too crazy and it’s hard to wrap my mind around how a female can continue to post pictures and pretend she’s still with her ex for months after they broke up. I cut him off for good at the beginning of January because I saw new Christmas pics of them from this year, but he called me 30 times from a private number (because I blocked him) and he denied the whole situation and said she was crazy and I believed him.

I don’t know what to do because this situation is just really weird and stressful to be in because he always denies that he’s with her. But, my intuition tells me he is or their in an on again off again relationship. I need advice on whether I should just cut him off for good or stick it out and hope she stops (which I don’t think she will). – His Crazy Ex

Dear Ms. His Crazy Ex,

If this relationship is bringing more stress and drama, along with a crazy ex who won’t let go, and she has control over his social media accounts, and basically she has control over his life, then get out of the relationship, and cut him off for good. Why stay? Why allow this stress to be part of your life? It’s his ex that he should and need to put in check. It’s not your job and you shouldn’t have to deal with this.

This is what I don’t understand. When you first saw the accounts and assumed he had a girlfriend, based on the pictures and postings on his social media, but he denied it and told you that she was a crazy ex who refused to let go, then, why didn’t you just simply walk away then? But, because you like drama and you like confrontation, because for what other reason would you contact her to try to warn her and tell her that her boyfriend was cheating? Why reach out to her? What were you trying to resolve or prove? Sadly, you believed him when he told you that nothing was going on, and that she was crazy. You didn’t like her response, and thought it weird, and lo and behold, you get into a relationship with him anyway. WHY!?!

Now, for over a year you are still dealing with the same thing you attempted to confront her about and to get clarification over. You are still stressing over your relationship, and allowing another woman to come between you and your man whom he broke up with and refuses to let go. Or, is it really over? In January you broke up with him, again, because she posted some recent photos of them from Christmas. He calls you from a blocked number, over 30 times, and, yet, again, you believe him. SMDH!

Girl, your man is just as crazy as his ex. He is calling you from a blocked number, over 30 times. Sounds just like his ex to me. He refuses to let go. He insists she is crazy. He won’t leave you alone, even when you end it. Now, ask yourself what does this scenario sound like? What is this familiar with?

But, I want you to ask yourself – why are you still involved in this relationship? If you’ve had enough, and you’re tired, fed up, stressed, and don’t know what to believe, then why not just end it? Why not tell him that until he completely gets rid of her, she is out of the picture, and he has completely moved on with no extra baggage, no one lurking or hanging around, and no stalkers who will show up at his home, on his social media, or at your home or on your social media, then you can consider a relationship. But, until then, no ma’am.

And, this is what I don’t understand, why not just change all his passwords on his social media accounts? How is it that his ex is able to figure out his password accounts so easily? Girl, he can put an end to all this, but obviously he likes and enjoys the attention. Or, like you suspect, they may be in an on again off again relationship. Thus, get out. Move on and alleviate yourself of the headache, drama, and stress. Now, if this is something you enjoy and you are getting a kick out of if, and you like this back and forth entertainment, then knock yourself out. However, I gather you are enjoying this drama. You are enjoying this cattiness between you and the other woman, and you feel as if you won the prize. If you were any sane person, and someone in their right mind, you wouldn’t put up with any of this. That’s just my take on it. – Terrance Dean

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