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Hell to the NO!

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As long as neither party has a problem with it and the friendship is mutual and respectful then ok….nah fu#k that….ya’ll don’t need to be callin each other and all that!! Holaa when you see me in the streets but ya’ll don’t need to be exchanging numbers.

I STILL DEAL WIT MY EX N IF U WIT SOMEONE WHO DOES THEN BEWARE!!! DEY UP TO NO GOOD.

HELL NO!

If a person is secure with themselves and the relationship then I don’t see a problem with it as long as it’s a respectable friendship. Now, if you guys are constantly calling & seeing each other then that raises suspicion.

If they have a child together then you really can’t say sh*t.

I don’t like that, my fiance (then was y bf) had a best friend that was his ex and she texted him one day that she wanted him for herself! He tried to convince me that she meant no harm she was just envious and I asked him to cut her off at that point but the thing is the chick was hood so why did he need her for anything?

BTW, even though he wanted me to be cool with her in the beginind I was leary…I could read in between the lines (since im a chick)! I hated that B!tc# for that, don’t wait untl he’s with me to try and get at him, I will never trust a man with a female friend that’s an ex! Can you say change the number and relocate? That we did and from what I hear she’s still a roller and a bum; no job, with a child, no apartment, no car!

A man can be cordial with his ex, if he sees her in public. But communication outside of that is unnecessary. What they need to talk about?

I’m not down for all that. I’m still friends with all my exes, and ever so often they all try to make a play at me. So I know what exes can get up to. Ix-Nay on the exes.

What if they are calling you?
Am I not to answer the phone?
…a union without trust is divided…

my ex still call me to this day….it’s funny to me b/c he left me for some chick that was buying his affection and she knew he was living with me and didn’t care so when we broke up after I found out about her. He moved in with her and to this day he still call me telling me how he miss me and she one day called me and told me to leave him alone and I told her it’s not me calling him, it’s him calling me and when u mess with a man that has a girlfriend all he gonna do is cheat on u too b/c u can’t buy someone love.

@ john hopr franklin

Dan a divided Union don’t answer the phone what the hell could they need to tell you that would stop your world from spinning?

Not a DAMN thing!?

[...] feel about it? At some point, you have to let the past be the past, right? Continued here: She Said: Does the Ex Have a Place in Your Man’s Life? VN:Fplease wait…Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) Share and [...]

Some men are usually still dealing with their ex in a way that is inappropriate for a new relationship to run smoothly. If his ex has a man then its cool but i know ratchet females too well and if they around its for a reason…

all my ex’s want to be friends. and i do try to keep it very cordial but they get possessive. some even try to get back into the picture. sorry. that friends with ex is a bad idea. funny one even came back to ask “will you have a baby with me” haaha hee hee. some never really let go.

If I broke up with my man and met someone new, I would probably cheat on him with my ex who I broke up with. With that said Hell NO!!!!!

The one thing I learned is if you push too hard and play the jealous and insecure role you’ll push your man away. This has to be decided on a case by case basis, you can’t blindly say no-ex’s because in my experience it is possible to be just friends with ex’es but also sometimes it’s not when either one still has feelings. You have to evaluate it, all it takes is a conversation about that past relationship and you can kinda tell from that if there’s something there.

There is no reason whatsoever for exes to keep in contact when either of them is in a new relationship. It just leaves the door open for drama. Say “hi” in public but keep it moving.

I’m good with all my ex’s, as long as they respect my present relationship,it’s all nutrituos.

@Snoop ….

Nutritious??? WTF?

i had this problem ,but i had my man shut it down!An ex is an “EX” for a reason,whywould you want a constant reminder of a mistake in your past ?my bf ex wd call him up saying she missed him and wanted to see himetc,and she was married her excuse was she was still close to his fam,but it came down to her crossing the line of st8 disrespect towards me,once he saw i wdnt tolerate that,he realized what was more important……ME!

The ex is still trying to be in my life. We have a child together but he has been married for 3 years w/ 2 other kids.

For some reason he feels the need to know who is in our lives and what we are doing and to report to him.

I am sure the wife doesn’t like it but hey it’s up to her to say soemthing to him. I got rid of him for many reasons but checking up after a grown man-no thanks.

Who, What, When, Where, Why and How? Never

something- sorry

Nutritious??? WTF?
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good….lol

My ex- calls me. I don’t call him. He calls to see how Im doing. He knows Im a woman of my word I will never go bac. His girl calls me and say why you keep calling my man. First of learn to read your caller ID it does have incoming and outgoing. Second something must be wrong at home he is trying to get out. thirdly stop playing games witheach other for someone gets seriously hurt. He and I split on good terms. There is no hated ( bad bllod between us) we just grew apart.

I guess the real question is-Do you trust the man you’re with?

@ rockkie….so if you guy’s split on good terms, why don’t you call him sometimes and see how he’s doing? I just don’t see how ppl just cut-off ppl that was important in their life once upon a time.

Do ya’ll agree with an ex sending your man or woman a birthday gift? Just once?

Becuase I was confronted with that and I found it disturbing. Or how about the ex continuing to converse with your boo’s family members?

because*

I don’t call him because of the immature female she is with. He calls me and I answer my phone with my boyfriend sitting right there. I don’t want him going to jail behingd ignorance. My Bf doesn’t have a problem with him calling, he has even answered the phone. My ex sister called his place and asked for hi, his girl was like B, you know you trying to f my man. Then she turned around and hit him. That is why I don’t call him. We do talk in passing have lunch.

he is with

Do ya’ll agree with an ex sending your man or woman a birthday gift? Just once?

Because I was confronted with that and I found it disturbing. Or how about the ex continuing to converse with your boo’s family members?
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I had to comment. that is not ok. I’m sorry I’d need to call a huddle… a pow wow… a meeting… som’n. All this meeting up with the family is not ok by me. And the gifts?? not so much either. And he betta not let me have to say squat about it. He better fix that quick!

Little miss ex is gonna have to get on with all that. What is she? Santa? No man. Dat nuh work wid me!

Do ya’ll agree with an ex sending your man or woman a birthday gift? Just once?
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i still get my sons mother gifts for mothers day, birthdays christmas etc, she was once the love of my life, you just don’t change because you meet someone new, i lay my cards on the table with my present gf, she lay her cards on the table, i do not try to change her, and she definately not gonn change me, and it worksfor us. Insecurity is very unattractive.

Nowe don’t do the gift thing. His mom and sisters call and we go out to eat shop stuff like that. family gathering nope, My BF comes with me to mine and I go with him to his.

Ah, so Jamaican Princess, you would need to be careful cause if the family has no problems being friends with the girl then they are gonna be upset with him/you for interfering. I mean if the girl is not trying to use the family to get back with the guy then it’s really up to the family. As far as the gifts hehe, you should call her and thank her personally, that may put things in perspective for the ex.

If there are no kids involved, there is nothing to talk about and no reason to keep in contact. They are exes for a reason.

@ Snoop
That’s different. I get my daughter’s dad stuff on his milestones, fathers’day etc. But if its someone that I have no connection like that with, what I need to buy a gift for. Things like that can be misconstrued.

And with me, it’s not insecurity. I just don’t need all that extraterrestrial, external, peripheral activities around my relationship. So the gift giving and family visits… I dunno, they are not necessary in my eyes.

nope not a good look for “our” future.
It’s not only improper, its disrespectful! The only women a man should have in his life is his mother, sisters, female cousins and granny. Other than that its all good!

@NYCMAN
I hear you. I guess I’m speaking from a place where I have been through all that.and it wasn’t fun. I didn’t make a fuss, but it still made me give him the side eye a little bit. I have possessive exes who are still in touch with me, and always want to do stuff for me but and I have to make sure on my end that they don’t do anything to upset things with the person I’m with. Or make him feel uncomfortable.

I guess its your tolerance level that determines things.

It’s cool if a) if it’s cool with you for me to be doing the same thing you are with your ex aka “friend” and b) if I don’t give a s**t about you and I have some other reason for keeping you around. If it’s a “committed” relationship (i.e living together or married), hellz no!

I’m still cool with all (most) of my exes. My woman has to end all communication with her exes though.

@MIJDC
I’m still cool with all (most) of my exes. My woman has to end all communication with her exes though.
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You just stepped in here to turn the damn thread upside down didn’t you?
How is that fair now?

@JAMAICAN PRINCESS
“You just stepped in here to turn the damn thread upside down didn’t you?
How is that fair now?”
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LOL. I’m just sayin though…

It’s not only improper, its disrespectful! The only women a man should have in his life is his mother, sisters, female cousins and granny. Other than that its all good!
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So you telling me, i should tell my GF to cut loose her best friend (male) that she’s been knowing since grade school? why? because of my insecurities? Hell no, i’m not changing nothing that was before me, b/c when i choose, i’m choosing you for you, not what i have to make you.

@ MIJDC
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@JAMAICAN PRINCESS
“You just stepped in here to turn the damn thread upside down didn’t you?
How is that fair now?”
_______________________________________________________________

LOL. I’m just sayin though…
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And yr girl is in compliance with this? I would never do that. Even if its just to be defiant. lol

@JAMAICAN PRINCESS
“And yr girl is in compliance with this? I would never do that. Even if its just to be defiant. lol”
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You damn right they are in compliance of that! LOL. You would be too. Be telling your baby daddy that you don’t “celebrate” Father’s Day anymore!!

You have a woman (or man)but you still buy gifts for your ex?

Wow.

Some made some excellent comments and there is 1 that I refused even say anything about. I have to a silly lady across the street was getting her hair done and allowed her 3 yearold to walk out the door to the so called icecream truck.

@ JB…..Cowboys + Romo – Jessica/T.O. = SUPERBOWL CHAMPS

JB…..Cowboys + Romo – Jessica/T.O. = SUPERBOWL CHAMPS
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Cowboys + Romo – Jessica/T.O. = DRAFT LOTTERY LOSERS

@ Snoop

I thought you liked the Raiders?

@ Snoop
You’re right-insecurity is unattractive.I think if the man you’re with still wants to go to bed with his ex,he sure isn’t going to mention her to you.If he has let you know about this ex,he’s over it.There’s nothing wrong with exes being cool.My ex is an exotic dancer and whenever he’s in town to perform, he will look me up and my husband knows all about him and could never feel threatened by him.My husband’s ex even invited us to her wedding reception and we went and had a great time.

@ snoop bloggy blog ( When you lose, don’t lose the lesson)

@ JB…..Cowboys + Romo – Jessica/T.O. = SUPERBOWL CHAMPS
*************************************

What up Snoop! F*ck the Cowgirls, lol…

I thought you liked the Raiders?
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hell no!!

Ex-girlfriend = no. I don’t trust it and I’m not insecure at all but I am “friends” with my ex of 14 years and we are definitely friends with benefits. Also, I have heard male friends say things like “you can always get it from you baby’s mother” and the like. I don’t have kids but we have that same time of bond because of the the years and we’ve never been able to keep it 100% platonic. Just my experience.

@REAL TALK
“my ex of 14 years and we are definitely friends with benefits”
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…you hoe….

You’re right-insecurity is unattractive.I think if the man you’re with still wants to go to bed with his ex,he sure isn’t going to mention her to you.If he has let you know about this ex,he’s over it.There’s nothing wrong with exes being cool.My ex is an exotic dancer and whenever he’s in town to perform, he will look me up and my husband knows all about him and could never feel threatened by him.My husband’s ex even invited us to her wedding reception and we went and had a great time.
____________

I definately tilt my hat to you and your husband, sounds like a happy marriage.

Shim Shim Sha La Bim

Do ya’ll agree with an ex sending your man or woman a birthday gift? Just once?
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I don’t tolerate it in the least, just as I would never accept a gift from my ex. Thats disrespectful, dispicable and unnecessary.

if its needed, a simple text of “Happy Birthday” would suffice. Anything else would be absolutely ridiculous.

Plus, that text would only be appropriate if the breakup was still fresh. After a year or two, its time for that person to move on.

I have exes who are still friends. In fact, my exes’other exes are still friends with them. I find it refreshing that after you are done, you can still talk to an ex and be friends without referring to him as “that MF”. It shows a certain level of maturity and that the relationship was based on more than just random “booty”.

If you are in another relationship, you and your ex should behave like the past is in the past. Insecurity is what causes most of the ex problems, either on the part of either of the exes or the current love (or like).

Of course, we all have that ex that we envision under the bus’back tire but you learned from that and moved on. I wonder about someone who most of their exes wouldn’t even piss on if their hair was on fire. Maybe the problem wasn’t the ex(s).

Well, as an “official ex” of a man I met in 1987 and here we are 22 years later still friends, I’d have to say no, it’s not o.k. to have an ex as a friend and you’re in a relationship. If I wanted to be with him right now all I’d have to do is say the word and it’s on. However, I’ve learned to separate our friendship from us being a couple. People DO NOT CHANGE

and in our last attempt at being together 3 years ago, I saw him to be the same person he was when I met him. He tried to play the same games 19 years later which is why we aren’t together now. He has since learned to be my friend but he still wants to be with me. NOT HAPPENING. We share the utmost love and adoration for each other and I could never imagine him not being in my life as a “friend.” My relationships aren’t his business and his aren’t mine. If he needs anything, I got him and vice versa! Just because you’re not with someone doesn’t mean you can’t be amicably involved in a healthy friendship.

the post from “A Simple Glance” is the continuation of my 1:50 p.m. post.

@Snoop

LOL!! We’ve come to reclaim the Vince Lombardi Trophy!

If they are an “ex” and you don’t have children together I don’t think anything more than a hello if you see them in public is necessary. They are an “ex” for a reason so just keep it moving.

I don’t deal with ANY of my ex’s and I expect my g/f to do the same. They are called ex’s for a reason!

My ex and I are friend til this day – we both have moved on and are in happy relationships. We were together for 8 years and I consider him one of my closest friends – we got together real young and just outgrew each other, but I will forever have his back he has walked me through some of the most difficult sitiuations in my life.

Hard to keep it on a cordial basis with someone who does nothing but give you love and support regardless of whether you are with them or not.

His current girlfriend is a nice girl and she has even extended her friendship to me, because she is completely aware that at this point there is nothing between him and I – we are just really good friends. As for my man he is at times uncomfortable with the situation, but it is what it is

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I have a bit of a dilemma and I wanted some clarification to see if I was crazy or not.

My spouse dumped their ex maybe 7 years back in a really awful way, and really regretted the way they went about it. My spouse got in touch again with the ex right around the time we married. They’re friends on FB and don’t really chit chat often, but they send messages occassionally to see how the each of them are doing in their current relationships (the ex is married too). Everything seems A-OK on the surface, I’ve peeked in on a few messages and they seem kosher.

Recently, the ex asked my spouse if it’s okay to send a birthday present (they live in a couple states away)…not only this, the ex communicates regularly with my spouses older sibling (they were really close during the short relationship my spouse and the ex had) on facebook. I see what they write each other on their walls…not that I snoop, but I see it on my homepage everytime I log in. The ex says things like, “you should come visit, and bring your kids!”

This bother’s me, but I don’t know what to do because they were already friends BEFORE I met them…

If you don’t have any kids together, just keep it moving. My ex husband and I have a son together, I communicate with him regarding our son through email only, and if my ex calls I let my husband talk to him. My husband has 3 grown kids by his ex wife, and they have no communication what so ever, hell, the kids don’t speak with her either.

@ Shim Shim Sha La bim
Thats the thing-there is nothing for you to do.You cannot ever control who your honey is friends with.I mean if it really bothers you,talk to your honey.He married YOU,so that should tell you something.Honestly speaking,do you trust your honey?If so,relax.

@CAT EYES

Thanks. I spoke to my honey…he’s assured me nothing is happening and I believe him. They chit chat every so often. But it’s the principle of the whole sibling friendship that is weird…I mean, INVITING someone to come bring their kids down and talk about what??? It incenses me…feels disrespectful, but I feel so helpless…I can’t just say, “stop being friends.”

I don’t care as long as everything is out in the open and he treats me like his girlfriend in front of her. I am friends will all of my ex’s except two.

@ Shim Shim Sha La Bim
Never tell a man who to be friends with-he will think you don’t trust him and he will just still be their friend behind your back.In a marriage,you always want to keep open communication.Believe me,there is a good reason why she is his ex.As far as the sibling being her friend,as long as that sibling isn’t interfering with you and your honey,I wouldn’t sweat it.

It’s funny people on here keep saying they are called ex’s for a reason but weren’t they friends first. When you become involved sometimes it starts as friends and goes from there. So just because it didn’t work out romantically doesn’t mean you should casually through away a good friendship. I’ve been friends with a good number of ex’s and we keep it legit as we have both helped eachother out with work, advice or just a laugh or two. Good friends don’t come a dime a dozen so letting them go shouldn’t be that casual, everyone just needs to be real with themselves and their mate about whether they have feelings for them or not.

@CAT EYES

“Never tell a man who to be friends with-he will think you don’t trust him and he will just still be their friend behind your back.”

Realest quote I’ve read today. *sigh* I know…

If they do not have children, they should not be communicating. Why would they? If they have children, well obviously they will be communicating he rest of that child’s life, and if you are a woman and you’re with a man who has children, you have to deal with that. As long as it is child(ren) related, I don’t see a problem with it.

That person is an ex for a reason.

NYCMAN

It’s funny people on here keep saying they are called ex’s for a reason but weren’t they friends first. When you become involved sometimes it starts as friends and goes from there. So just because it didn’t work out romantically doesn’t mean you should casually through away a good friendship. I’ve been friends with a good number of ex’s and we keep it legit as we have both helped eachother out with work, advice or just a laugh or two. Good friends don’t come a dime a dozen so letting them go shouldn’t be that casual, everyone just needs to be real with themselves and their mate about whether they have feelings for them or not.

Oppps. I meant to say, you make some good points here.

My husband needs to talk to his ex MORE, if you ask me. They have a child together who gets in all kinds of predicaments, and he can’t stand talking to her (and she don’t REALLY don’t like him now that I done up and made him my husband cause she went from leaving him attitudish VM messages–all of which he played for me and we laughed about–to hardly calling at all), so they rarely have conversations, even if it goes against the kid’s well-being. But hey, they can hate each other all they want; that’s between them. I try to stay out of it.

@ Shim Shim Sha La Bim

but I see it on my homepage everytime I log in. The ex says things like, “you should come visit, and bring your kids!”
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I have a MAJOR problem with that statement…How is it that this ex invites your spouse and your kids and NOT YOU?! Please tell me that the chick actually wrote “bring your family”

@ Shim Shim Sha La Bim

My boyfriend ex calls him every few months and he tells me in detail about their convo…Now this chick is a nut job so I think he lends an ear just for entertainment purposes…but trust, all calls from exes and other females became either sparse or non existent.

However, my advise to you is to tell your hubby if this makes you uncomfortable, BUT you have to let him let go (of this ex) on his own time.

My ex calls me all the time. His wife doesn’t know. He can’t get enough of me. I have a place in his life and always will.

No, unless they have children 2gether…..

why

Well, from my experience, I wouldn’t trust the situation. I only have a few exes and I am pretty certain I could get any of them to sleep with me today if I wanted. Knowing that, I would not be comfortable with my husband being friends with an ex. Yes they may have been friends, but they also know each other intimately. You can talk about trust all you want but when times get to going rough in a relationship ( and they will in a lifetime commitment ) the last thing someone needs is an ex to “talk to.” Nothing good can come of it.

It’s disrespectful…wouldn’t be me that’s all I can say about that.

i still get my sons mother gifts for mothers day, birthdays christmas etc, she was once the love of
@ Snoop Bloggy Blog
“my life, you just don’t change because you meet someone new, i lay my cards on the table with my present gf, she lay her cards on the table, i do not try to change her, and she definately not gonn change me, and it worksfor us. Insecurity is very unattractive”
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I’m in a similar situation accept my new girl goes and picks the mothersday gift out for my ex to give to my son to give his mother & my ex buys gifts and sends them by my son for her on mothersday & me on fathersday plus we all know how important its to do the right thing for the kids. Now don’t get me wrong it was’nt always like this but over time they both realized how stupid hateing on each other really was plus my ex knows I don’t look at her like that anymore so she keeps it strictly business. Oh yeah she does have a new man before anybody ?’s that and yes me and him get along as well got have a relationship with man where your child lays their head right

My ex is still involved in my family life as well as mine because my family grew up with him, My nephew and my neice knew him way before my now husband came on the scene, my husband doesn’t have any problem with him and the relationship he has with my family, and yes me and my ex where friends first, I love my husband, and I have NO problem telling him what the conversations I have with the ex are about,My husband and I have established a close relationship and honesty is the best policy, if your husband/wife have a relationship where you both trust and believe in one another there shouldn’t be a problem and so on now my Ex wife has a Problem with me, and have tried like Crazy to keep him from seeing my family and being in the same room with me, she doesn’t want him to have anything to do with me and my family, and the more she tried the more he became rebellion, At one point she egg him on to be friends with me, and then the acusations start flying, never confronting me just taking it out on him,Men Tell you things for a reason, I keep my distance and let him handle his business, people may want what they want but, at what cost?? To be honest it can be amusing and some women/men thrieve on that, but I don’t need somebody insecure wife drama in my life!!