Ahh, Love! What’s in a Title?

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Love and Relationships, News


Ladies and Gents, what is it about a title that turns a relationship up-side-down and inside-out? We’ve all had that relationship that started off so nicely, and everything seemed effortless until … you slapped a title on the otherwise ambiguous whatevership. But why is this so? Is it the general idea that with a title comes responsibility or a heightened sense of obligation? For whatever reason, relationships seem to get overly complicated when couple status has been officially solidified or a ring has been presented or a marriage is underway. But why? Why does a title come with such pressures and why does it change a good thing to bad … quickly!? Men would argue that women take the title of “girlfriend” too seriously and suddenly, she’s needy. Women would say men don’t take the title seriously enough. Where is the line in the sand or happy medium? Bossip asked a group of people: what is it about a title that turns a relationship up-side-down and inside-out?

Titles mean you have to live up to the implicit obligations, which could be spoken or unspoken, you just never know until something dramatic hits the fan! Where as a good deed would be just a bonus in a non-title situation. When the relationship is defined, that stuff can just be taken for granted instead of instantaneous appreciation. I think that if a couple decides to make things official, they should communicate and let it be known what they both expect. That way, you can’t be held accountable for something you haven’t been informed of, you know? Ultimately, it all boils down to communication and expectation. But to be safe, I say let it ride until it runs its course and if you both agree you want more, then go for it. -Janet, 32, Entrepreneur

With titles, people feel as though they have more responsibilities to give to the relationship. Most people steer away from the “exclusive” title because one party seems to switch everything up and becomes overly emotional. Two words: F*CK TITLES….the relationship was fine before the title. If anything, it only serves as validation which further shows the nothingness and lack of self worth that they have in their own lives. -Sheldon, Computer Tech, 28

Hm. See I’m one of those people who thinks putting a label on the relationship makes things work a little better. If I’m going to be someone’s “girlfriend,” then, naturally, there are perks and when you propose, there’s greater perks and so on with marriage. I think that a lot of girls get so caught up on keeping a man, they give up all the goods! You have to ration and let the man know that you’re not going to get all the perks a husband would get from a wife without a commitment. Men like a chase, so don’t let his a*s spend days at your house, he’s got to go! You don’t have an all access pass into my world until I know you’re serious. I think that’s a mistake a lot of woman make. But if you decide on your boundaries and know what you want, it’ll be easier to decipher who’s in for the long haul and who’s not. – Stacy, 29, Lawyer

I think with titles comes obligations and natural acts go out the window which leaves people to walking on egg shells. Because without them, people would be at ease because they wouldn’t feel pressured to be a certain way or act differently. I don’t know why, but titles change things. Sometimes for the good and other times for the bad. But I guess you both have to be on the same page and take your “titles” with equal importance in order for it to work. – Charmaine, Writer, 27

I think titles complicate things, honestly. But why is someone even worthy of all the benefits in a marriage if neither party is willing to commit? I think it degrades the institution of marriage. I’ve shacked up twice and it got me nowhere closer to marriage! Like my dad always said, “why buy the milk if you’ve got the cow?” And it’s true especially for women. When I met my husband, I made a point not to create a situation where he felt like I would be that girl who would let him move in or share financial responsibilities and it worked better than any other situation I had been in. So for women I would say, don’t settle and if he’s a stand-up kind of guy then he’ll respect you enough to do what it takes to do things right. – Toi, 33, Real Estate


  • anonymous one


  • I'm Just Me: KEEPING IT REAL SINCE 1983

    It is true…with titles more responsibilities come. For example Obama has more responsibilities as President than as a congressman. When you give something a certain title you are implying a certain committment and when you cannot achieve what the title is suggesting or saying there tends to be a lot of people with hurt feelings.

    Example: Husband. Certain expectations come with this term. Such as faithfulness, ability to provide, etc. If you cannot achieve these goals then the wife tends to end up with hurt feelings. THIS IS ALSO TRUE FOR THE VICE VERSA.

    That is why COMMUNICATION is very important. People need to lay out their expectations and beliefs before they take things to the next level so that everyone is on the same page.

  • anonymous one

    Yeah, I think a title only messes things up for men. When there is no title, they can blame an indiscretion on not knowing “where we stand.” If a man can weasel his way out of obligation, to anything, he will.

  • No u can't be boyfriend #2!

    The dude in this picture kind of looks like he could be the brother of Michael Jordan! LOL

    @ I’m Just Me: KEEPING IT REAL SINCE 1983…I so agree with you’re point!

  • I'm Just Me: KEEPING IT REAL SINCE 1983

    When there is no title, they can blame an indiscretion on not knowing “where we stand.”


    I agree with this as well.

    @ No You Can’t Be

    Good morning!!

  • sugar77

    Although, I think people should be ADULT enough to let someone know what they want the deal to be and then take it or leave it, I think it’s because along with titles comes expectations which may bring along a lot pressure.

    But, again, get things out in the open, and if they want commitment and you don’t and they’ve made it clear, then you have NO ONE ELSE to blame but YOURSELF if you find yourself in a sticky situation all because you’re trying to have your cake.

  • Redd Foxxx (You Can't Cut My Pretty Wings)

    @ I’m Just Me: KEEPING IT REAL SINCE 1983

    Simple as that hun. I totally agree.

  • sugar77

    Also, “Stacy (the lawyer)” is on point with her response.

  • Man, I just don't care™

    “If I’m going to be someone’s “girlfriend,” then, naturally, I there are perks and when you propose, there’s greater perks and so on with marriage.”-STACY,Lawyer

    SMH at “quid pro quo”…

  • No u can't be boyfriend #2!

    @ I’m Just Me: KEEPING IT REAL SINCE 1983, and yes it is a good morning with some of the sun finally out!

  • Anon

    and I agree wit Stacy the lawyer. It is as simple as that. Cosign @Keeping it real, too.

    Maybe if some of these females take some accountability in these relationships they won’t be stuck just being baby mamas.

  • anonymous one

    @Man, I just don’t care™

    Don’t hate the playa baby!

  • Man, I just don't care™

    @anonymous one

    “Don’t hate the playa baby!”

    Not hating, just remember it cuts both ways.

  • anonymous one

    @Man, I just don’t care™

    Not hating, just remember it cuts both ways.

    How so?

  • cruzan trini


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