oprah has said she doesnt want to get married before…marriage isnt for everyone.

Simple answer because most black men are intimidated by women like Oprah and white women marry at the drop of a baseball cap, they need to be validated and black women have more confidence then to settle for the first thing that comes along .. thats why~~!

Because of their attitudes! Honestly ALOT of black women have attitudes and it doesnt matter what level of education they recieve. I think the word submit is such a bad word, but its something that has to happen. It doesnt matter what degree you have, you are not the man in the relatonship. Let the man be a man , and you are the woman but we cant be both. Until we learn to understand that-this trend is going to continue.

I think Coi raised a very valid point. I know quite a number of successful black women who have partners but do not want to get married.

THEIR STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH.ALL THEY WORRY ABOUT IS WHAT THE NEXT PERSON IS GOING TO DO FOR THEIR SUCCESSFUL SELFISH SELVES.THEY FAIL TO REALIZE RELATIONSHIPS ARE ABOUT GIVING AND EXPLORING AND FINDING YOUR WAY.THEY DON’T KNOW YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE UNTILL YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED RELATIONSHIP DRAMA THE MAKE-UP AND BREAK UPS.THEY THINK IT’S SUSPOSED TO BE ALL GOOD AND REALLY THEY ARE BORING THEMSELVES AND THE PEOPLE THEY DATE TO DEF.

only 33% of Black Women are married.. I’m gonna start looking outside my race for a man… oooppsss too late

I agree, marriage isn’t for everyone.

Some females aren’t cut out for the wife role. Nothing is wrong with that.

marriage isnt for everyone, and as far as black women are concerned, there is no one reason why so many are not married. Were NOT all the same!!!!

Some women see relationships as drama & rather not get into it. They are comfortable & satisfied (maybe even selfish) with the way their lives are now.

I don’t knock Oprah.

@Redcora….
I feel you on looking into other races.

There are more black men in jail than there are in college. That’s a sad reality.

I don’t know why educated black women would rather date low-educated black men just because they’re black. Date outside your race! Brothers have been doing it for years, I don’t understand why black women are so hesitant to date white, Asian and Hispanic men.

The number of educated, successful black men is low. Don’t settle for less just because their skin is brown. I’m from Oregon and all there is up there is white guys and when I went to college there, I dated a few. Wasn’t bad at all.

I’m just sayin….

I THINK IT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH MEN BEING INTIMIDATED BY A SUCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN. THE ONLY DEFENSE MEN HAVE IS OH SHE’S STUCK UP WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE THEY CAN’T MEASURE UP.

before that argument goes any further…kill that sh!t at once. Aint nobody intimidated by a chick having money. She got money…err ok and? Nope its because most white chicks grew up with money so its nothing. Black women with money usually made the best out of a bad situation (poverty) so they value money more but alot more use it as a bargaining tool in their relationship. When they argue, you get the frequent…i dont kwow why i’m with your broke azz anyways, i make more money and dont needs 2 b takin care of no man. This time, the dude aint broke at all, he just aint making as much as she is so she uses that to belittle him. White chicks just cry and scream and break ish and tell u how much they hate u and blah blah….black chicks go for the your male ego. Its harder on black males than white males because in most poor black neighrbourhoods, all you have is your image and you value that so for a woman to take that away from you..she takes just about everything that u hold dear to you as a man. Aint nobody intimidated by no trick having money. She got money then that’s great so i could look to make something better for us with the little i got and she can save hers so even if we dont work. She still has hers and i am making the best of what i can with mine. Its a pro not a con so that intimidation talk is BS

Sure…White girls get married at a higher clip.They also get DIVORCED at a higher clip.Net result: Pretty much the same as sista’s.This ‘aint no “disproportional negativity” on Black women scenario.
This story speaks more to GENDER than RACE anyway.Men of all colors have come to realize the pure folly of locking into this foul institution.(marriage)

@ RALPH/LAUREN Good point. As you can see black women are still in denial about this subject. When black women become successful there standards suddenly increase and they want a Denzel type (perfect man according to them)Meanwhile they think negative thoughts about a regular hard working man. They have real shitty attitudes and in reality dudes aren’t checking for them. Thats why a guy like Lamar Odom chose C. Kardashian over one of them. They really are not happy being single, it’s just a front for their own insecurities. This is their MANTRA-What’s mine is mine and whats yours should be mine. Give me a poor woman who loves me for me, over one who only considers material things as a barometer of success.

Y’all got this from the NPR article a few weeks ago.

I agree with the sista in the article who said that successful black women need to redefine their ideal partner, as there are plenty of prospects out there, we just need to be more open.

We are the only race of women who are ingrained with the thinking that we need to accept the real possibility that we may end up unmarried, especially if we have achieved a certain level of success. I personally think that’s sad. I agree that marriage may not be for everyone, but for many of us who want to get married, I have a problem with being preached to that it’s OK if it doesn’t happen. I don’t know, I’m engaged so it doesn’t affect me, but so many of my successful sista friends have that mindset that now that we’re in our 30s and have good jobs and MBAs we should just forget about ever finding a man. If we expand our options, we can increase our odds, and decrease the likelihood of being successful baby mammas.

I dont beleive this research. Every case is different however the more a woman/man is involved with their carrer, especially if you on Billionaire status, the less time you have for a love life.

Sorry Sisters white, hispanic, asian, russian african men aren’t checking that much for you. They already know about the strong black woman syndrome. You better try to get the brothers to come back home, because your losing the race big time.

thing is most white men are use to white women being nice and no attitude and negativity everytime so they are reluctant to date black women. so even if some black women go outside their race they are not guaranteed successs.

Rrrrroe Ski Love- A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Sorry Sisters white, hispanic, asian, russian african men aren’t checking that much for you. They already know about the strong black woman syndrome. You better try to get the brothers to come back home, because your losing the race big time.
___________________________

Ha! Tell that to my boyfriend. The attitude you have about black women is sickening. Must be personal, lol.

Back women have attitude problems.. They don’t know how to treat black men because they don’t know there fathers. They learn how to treat black men frow other women how don’t have a successful relationship either. Bottom line if you don’t have a good relationship with your first man..your dad.. then nobody else stands a chance!!!

LO and KK dated about a month before he decided to give her his heart bank account – (no pre-nup). I’m hoping its true love that will last a lifetime, but what’s the likelihood? They learned from their mama to never settle for less than a celebrity or someone bringing in the big bucks. No matter what they have to put out there to get it. SHAME, SHAME!!!!

We need to stop those excuses that marriage isn’t for everyone. I don’t know a single sista who don’t want to get married. Hell I have never met a woman of any race who didn’t want to be married. May sistas are embarrased to admit the dating pool is smaller the higher you climb up the ladder. Obesity & out of wedlock kids are just 2 reasons why many sista’s are not marketable with other races of highly educated men. I know a young black woman just graduated law school with 4 baby daddys. Who do you think is going to want her beside Pookie.

Aunt Viv

Y’all got this from the NPR article a few weeks ago.

I agree with the sista in the article who said that successful black women need to redefine their ideal partner, as there are plenty of prospects out there, we just need to be more open.

We are the only race of women who are ingrained with the thinking that we need to accept the real possibility that we may end up unmarried, especially if we have achieved a certain level of success. I personally think that’s sad. I agree that marriage may not be for everyone, but for many of us who want to get married, I have a problem with being preached to that it’s OK if it doesn’t happen. I don’t know, I’m engaged so it doesn’t affect me, but so many of my successful sista friends have that mindset that now that we’re in our 30s and have good jobs and MBAs we should just forget about ever finding a man. If we expand our options, we can increase our odds, and decrease the likelihood of being successful baby mammas.
________________________________

Totally agree, especially about the last few sentences.

Black women are confused… They would rather hang out with their girlfriends, instead of trying to make a meaningful relationship… And they are very materialistic, they value Gucci more than they would value a marriage…

Black women are way to big!! Nobody wants to marry a fat chick!! I don’t care how smart she is!! How are black men going to respect black women when they disrespect themselves by eating and talking to much!!!

it’s because when black women get money and success, they get a chip on their shoulders and forget that they’re women, and start treating their men like children. and NO man, no matter what race, likes to be treated like that.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING IS A MAN DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL OR NOT.MEN KEEP PASSING THEM RIGHT ON BY.WHEN YOUR SUCCESS IS THE ONLY THING YOU CAN BRING TO THE TABLE IMAGINE ALL THE OTHER THING AN AVERAGE WOMAN HAS TO OFFER NOT TO MENTION THE FREAKS.TRU ENOUGH A MAN WANT’S A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN OR MABEY HE DON’T WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A MAN HERE.SO IF ALL YOU CAN DO IS STICK YOUR NOSE AND SUCCESS IN THE AIR THE AVERAGE WOMAN IS GOING TO DO A MAN JUST FINE.SO SUCCESSFUL’S GET USE TO YOUR BORING LIVES WITH THE PERFECT MAN SMH-SUCCESSFUL IN THIS CASE TO ME MEAN NOT SUCCESSFUL BUT “SUCCESSFUL SNOBS” ANY MAN WILL TAKE A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN BUT WE KNOW “SUCCESSFUL SNOBS”

because successful ones have the same smart mouth as the unsuccessful ones……

So how is a small segment of what was likely a larger paper or thesis indicative of something one way or the other. Especially when there are no statistics to back this assertion up one way or the other. In Oprah’s case anyone male or female in that financial position- why would they risk that empire with some potential challenge in divorce court, im sure that is common practice among anyone else that that has that amount of capital on their hands…

Well if u are as rich as Oprah it is gonna be pretty difficult to find someone on your financial level. Who wants to marry someone who makes less, then steals ur money or divorce you and you have to pay him spousal support. Shoot I will be single to.

maybe because THEY WANT TO BE SINGLE. damn this is 2009 NOT 1809 where a woman HAS to get married.

Here’s my take, it’s a combination of things. Many are single because it’s their choice, plain and simply, marriage and a family isn’t for everyone. I never understood why people refused to have children until I had my own. A lot goes into making a marriage and family work. So if someone refuses to have either, I completely understand. Some women have given up while other continue to attract the wrong men and then there are some who are or were trifling and the past is catching up.

If my wife didn’t have her dad in her life..We woulnd’nt have got married. Old single women coaching young single women on what to do with a man.. BLIND LEADING THE BLIND..

@TOO SHORT

I feel you completly. It was extemely hard for me to submit in my relationship because I was raised by a single mother and I couldnt fathom at the time to “let nobody tell me what to do” But when he kept pointing it out to me, I was like damn, I have to change.I did but it wasnt easy. I still know who I am and he knows as well but at this point its about picking your battles. I have to let him be the man and I the woman, and I realize that if I want to wear the pants in the relationship-I better find me a woman ASAP. LOL. Good luck to you and your marriage-it will all work itself out if you both put in 100%!!!

don’t you mean single by 45?

Most successful black women “choose” these things. Not being married is not chosen for them, but they themselves “choose” not to marry.

There are 6.7 billion people on this earth and half of them are men. About 14% percent of them are black. About 450 million in Africa alone. There are plenty of available intelligent men around. There’s no shortage, so don’t hand me that.

Black women need to open up their minds and expand their horizons.

It’s sort of a “convenient excuse” for many successful black women. Having a successful career takes a lot of time and energy. Having a husband and raising a family takes a lot of time and energy too. White men, black men and white women all seem to able to balance it, but I think that many black women DON’T WANT TO!!!

I think the reason is that if a woman can provide for her financial needs, she doesn’t need the hassles of a husband. As my boss (unmarried and well compensated) tells me there is great freedom and power in calling your own shots in life. When you make your own money, especially a lot of it, there’s no need to want to answer to anyone. You don’t have to share your time, energy or money.

That’s a choice that they make.

you can use statistics to prove anything, 48 % of people researched know that, damn!

I am a black successful 24 year old woman who is married to a white man. I did not chose to be with him b/c of his skin or his $$ we have chemistry and have a lot in common. What’s that saying? If it’s white then your future is bright oronly thing right is white… Lmao

@Old Timer

not that black women don’t want to…but what the options…black men aren’t the most helpful when striving for more…in today’s society some black men are a distraction especially with the games…they’ll go as far as marriage and still will leave on a selfish tip regardless of whatever you’re in pursuit of…

everyone is not marriage ready every woman in the bible wasn’t married

I will go with alot of black men are intimidated by successful black women its like they get sick from the thought of someone wondering why is she, with all her brains, beauty, know how, own money messing with this dont care about his credit, 2 and 3 baby mothers, love the ghetto, love the street,love love love jail, cant tell you what exactly is a 401K plan much less have a dental or medical plan, bum like that? It’s easier for him to go get quanda and asia who dont want much out of life either so when she sees him coming he is her god! straight up. It’s a good look to see a sister overcome and do great things with her life what is wrong with that? cant tell me a white woman is better than any of us. speaking of draining, be for real how a man walk’s into a relationship one knowing if he didnt have a dime that person would not think twice about him is obsurd. Guess the only thing sisters can do these days is dumb it down, just a lil bit and not show all they do have so the M-effer will feel he doing something. In Oprahs case she has Gail and thats the end of that period, shouldnt of used her as an example. Whitney said it best when Oprah interviewed her, it does something to a man to know his woman is more than him.

Here we go again,

I will say this to all women of color, and those that are not. You all say that there are no successful black men because most of them are in JAIL. In addition the successful black men are all dating or married outside their race. This is untrue; I would consider myself a successful black male, for the following reasons. 1st I completed 10 years active duty NAVY; 2nd, I received my BBA in Management in 2006, 3rd; I work in Personnel for my hometown government and make around 40,000 from that job. 4th, I am currently in the NAVY reserves and make a decent check from there as well, so I would say that I make around 48-50,000 a year and I only have a (SON).

I am single and I prefer SISTERS, but every woman of color I date, don’t realize what they have. I have been through some many break-ups because I am for what you sisters say; too nice, or I am not a THUG!!!! So please don’t say we all date outside our race. I like to tell my lady “I Love You”, because you never know when the Lord will call you home.

I see a problem in the community is that we JUST DON’T have GOOD examples of HUSBAND and WIFE in our community. Black women you need to look for a GOOD MAN! And, not what’s popular. Try dating a black male that not what you usually date….I guarantee you will see the VALUE of a MAN that TREATS YOU GOOD. Hey, I just want a BLACK Woman that wants to work, and achieve things like I do!

@Pompombay

that comment was useless.

Black women who don’t marry die alone and unhappy. Money can’t change that. Real love lasts!! Money runs out.

There are 6.7 billion people on this earth and half of them are men. About 14% percent of them are black. About 450 million in Africa alone. There are plenty of available intelligent men around. There’s no shortage, so don’t hand me that.
——————

I think there is a shortage of one black man for every one Black woman…Out of the 450 million Black people in Africa and for that matter America, how many actually suffer from HIV/AIDS? That segment alone can negate the notion of having a family…

@ pooh nah man…that aint the type of black chicks they discussin..u talkin abt those who thing they in designer wearing Coogi, Baby Phat and Sean John….nah not those…gotta go more upscale..Think Michael Kors, Nine West an em type shits….

CO FCKN SIGN @ SHe’sAfugginLADDI

Beyonce got yall fooled with this independent sh!t, you be independent but u dont walk around with that arrogant ego like u Kanye West…that ish aint cute and gets u no man..like she said, u knw the King is in control but the Queen is still his equal and supports. B1tches these days wanna go hard like they got a d!ck, picking and criticizing everything u do and lately like Rihanna hittin n sh!t. Be a woman, a strong independent one that supports ya man once he is holding is own. A black man in this world is a tough thing to be but with a strong woman by your side…..you can be anything. Race has nothing 2 do with it for me but a black woman more understands a black man’s struggle IMO and thus she caters to him far better than someone else would….this is no means to say stay in ur race but im just saying..Black women provide a bit more to a relationship for a black man IMO….just my view. As for that Billion dollar question, i’d skip that Billion dollars any day for a woman that is worth it because once u find a woman that is ur equal and supports and yall have chemistry an compatability…aint no price on that type of woman right there…a billion dollars would be too little for the love that she would be giving u. Love beats money any day, u get the money live comfortable and die in misery. U get the love, u get experience and someone by ur side through the good and bad and u die a happy, fullfilled person. Its your choice..as bennie man said…Memories dont live like people do, they’ll always member u, whether things are good or bad…its just the memories that you have

Oh Baby!!! It’s because successful BLACK WOMEN will not settle for just anybody that’s why!!! Go to this website and learn the truth!!!!!!!!!!!Go to: blackgirlsrockit.com and find out why successful black women will not settle for a man without prospects! Successful black woman go for quality!!!
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Why is Oprah the Posterchild for this? She already said that she and Steadman are happy not getting married. But i do undertstand, the black women marrying outside their educational level. I have come across nothing but men who have no need to go to college, or finish school. It doesn’t get very far from that point, but I feel like Black men don’t want to put up with certain things with women, and black women are that way because of a man did to them in the past. So its always a tricky thing.

Me personally, i’m willing to date any man, who looks good and treats me great, a man who respects god, and his mother…and most important me. That can come in any color, but he still has to be educated.

Most successful black women “choose” these things. Not being married is not chosen for them, but they themselves “choose” not to marry.

There are 6.7 billion people on this earth and half of them are men. About 14% percent of them are black. About 450 million in Africa alone. There are plenty of available intelligent men around. There’s no shortage, so don’t hand me that.

Black women need to open up their minds and expand their horizons.

It’s sort of a “convenient excuse” for many successful black women. Having a successful career takes a lot of time and energy. Having a husband and raising a family takes a lot of time and energy too. White men, black men and white women all seem to able to balance it, but I think that many black women DON’T WANT TO!!!

I think the reason is that if a woman can provide for her financial needs, she doesn’t need the hassles of a husband. As my boss (unmarried and well compensated) tells me there is great freedom and power in calling your own shots in life. When you make your own money, especially a lot of it, there’s no need to want to answer to anyone. You don’t have to share your time, energy or money.

That’s a choice that that they make
_________________________________________
This is completely true

Then after these women build up their wealth they grow old and die and leave everything to their cats

Successful black women need a man with:

ambition
stability
little little drama

Now, now, boys and girls…….repeat after me,

There is no shortage of black men.
There is no shortage of black men.
There is no shortage of black men.

How do I know? If my mother has had four husbands, there can’t be a shortage. Just can’t be.

LOL.. If you can’t stand the heat.. Get a white boy!! Only real black women can handle real black men!! Stop crying and jump ship with your weak ass!! We only want strong black queens!!

LOL…READ THIS STATISTIC 6.7 BILLI and HALF MEN 14% BLACK 450 MILLI IN AFRICA…

DENIED…TRY RESEARCHING THAT AGAIN, THERE IS NOT AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF GENDER ON EARTH AT ALL!!! half lie and half truth won’t make it a fact, just another opinion.

men who dont take the time out to learn what life is all about find it much easier to deal with someone who dont have a clue either. It is sad but true my ex husband loved me a whole lot more when he could tell me whatever he wanted and i believed him fast forward 12 years after his growth was stunted in prison and I learned how to run a home not to mention buy a few he had no use for me. Can you say RESENTED.

In a way its self perpetuating. Even if you have a decent successful black woman. you have to spend your life dealing with her single hoe friends and their perception of normal. If there is over a certain percentage of your friends who are single discontented hoes then your marriage will not work.

Old Timer

Now, now, boys and girls…….repeat after me,

There is no shortage of black men.
There is no shortage of black men.
There is no shortage of black men.

How do I know? If my mother has had four husbands, there can’t be a shortage. Just can’t be
————————–

four husbands? Is she still married to number 4?

@Old Timer…

There may not be a shortage of men but there may be a shortage in good men which is why your mother had to marry four times.

@Tony Redds

what’s up!!!

@tella

Hey sweety, lunch time, resume convo later…

@janitation

does handling a REAL black man consist of drama, prison time, or excuses???

Don’t attack, just discuss…like adults would do!!!

After reading some of these posts, I have come to the realization that my understanding of what a marriage is, differs greatly. Marriage is an equal partnership that is based on compromise. No one controls anyone, no one is the boss, and you still have your own individuality. You don’t have to lose yourself. Now, when the kids come, that’s when your priorities really change.

Imo, the reason people demean marriage is because they haven’t found the person they can be open with who shares their belief system. If marriage isn’t for you and you are at peace with that, you wouldn’t focus on the negative when questioned.

I really don’t think that this is a black woman issues… One you have achieved your own level of success then you can make accurate judgment of what you are willing to deal with or not.. When I see successful men, yes they have money but there character is usually lacking a lot… Money is not the base or means of success but to me maturity is… Success black woman are alone because they no longer choose to plan the game of boosting the man ego and dealing with all of his BS and some people don’t want marriage just like some don’t want kids… Labeling people will never solve the answers and really does not change the image of them either… It’s called personal choice and some people have more options and choices then others…As for Oprah she has chosen her singleness ot other people or men…

Not everyone’s personality or emotional makeup is made for marriage.

The bottom line is that many successful black women don’t want to have to TAKE CARE OF ANYONE, at least on a full-time permanet basis. They may help take care of their parents or other extended family members, but they don’t want the daily hassles of a husband and children.

Why does the black woman need to address her attitude and the balc men don’t they will still be in the same household making choices and decision together, which means that both sides need to be mature and considerate of both side needs… As a woman no one wants to get married and have a life with someone that they know is going to act a fool and give less to nothing at all and that is on both sides..

Black women don’t cook anymore!! The way to a mans heart is though his stomach!!

Then again…black “successful” women being single isn’t something they can answer…WHY DON’T BLACK MEN CHOOSE THEM???

You see when a man finds a wife HE FINDETH A GOOD THING…

It’s not a woman’s place to decide on a union…according to Proverbs 31…so where are you men???

to the person who said other races aren’t checking for black women???? go to any college campus, bars, professional organizational meetings, clubs, etc. those “other” dudes are bananas for black women. we simply and inexplicably aren’t checking for them. so get your facts straight. we want to marry black men and raise black families while successful black men do not. a lot, perhaps not all, successful and or wealthy black men just seem to feel a white woman on their arm is a status symbol.

I think its bc blk women dont expand their dating opitons, most only date blk men. I think if you expanded your options of diff races of men and not limit yourself to only blk men, maybe you wouldnt be single.

@janitation

that sounds like a stereotype…last I checked I cooked last night and this morning…but if that is your experience then say “THE WOMEN I CHOOSE TO BE WITH DON’T COOK AND ARE BLACK” …lol…then I won’t feel the need to defend myself!!!

I still love you bruh!

Old Timer

Now, now, boys and girls…….repeat after me,

There is no shortage of black men.
There is no shortage of black men.
There is no shortage of black men.

How do I know? If my mother has had four husbands, there can’t be a shortage. Just can’t be
————————–

four husbands? Is she still married to number 4?
________________________________________

LOL, She killed the last one off a couple of years ago. All four of them are dead now.

Please don’t make me start laughing and crying at the same time as I discuss my family’s dysfunction!!

You know some people should get the death penalty for having sex.

another thing, only in black culture are we women taught to aspire for less. so damn sad and pathetic.

Black women are the most sought after women just like black men are the most sought after men…WE HAVE A ROYAL BLOODLINE, it’s no coincidence ALL RACES gravitate to us…however…a strong black woman is intimidating to all races and genders because of our strength…yeah we know a black man is strong well above others too but the strength of a black woman speak volumes and no other color can match that or deny it either.

something strange just happened

Black women are the most sought after women just like black men are the most sought after men…WE HAVE A ROYAL BLOODLINE, it’s no coincidence ALL RACES gravitate to us…however…a strong black woman is intimidating to all races and genders because of our strength…yeah we know a black man is strong well above others too but the strength of a black woman speak volumes and no other color can match that or deny it either.

I have successful black female friends that are single and I can honestly say its because although they may have authority at their job,they don’t know how to turn that attitude off when they come home.
I’ll give you an example-I’m a clinical supervisor in the mental health department of a prison.I supervise 17 people on a daily basis,however,when I come home for work,I am not that person,I’m the woman,the wife,the mommy.If the attitudes can’t change according to setting,there will always be problems.You know,submissiveness is not a disease.

Thanks NIQUE, I see we are on the same page, Now as for the Post, There are so many reason a women with money dont marry, And A marriage does not work with both giving 50/50 bth have to give 100/100, why should anyone have to settle for 70/30.

I think black women should expand their dating pool, not limit themselves to only blk men. Theres many diff kinds of races of men who would treat any woman right. I think expanding your options might help

I believe in some aspects, Oprah has derailed women from getting married. Women we can want and expect too much. Life is simple. Find a good man, no matter the education, with a strong head on his shoulders-willing to be upfront and honest with you and move on with your lives. Life is too short, which is why so many of us are unmarried. Yes, you can wait, but the pains won’t be less because you have more education.

tella

Then again…black “successful” women being single isn’t something they can answer…WHY DON’T BLACK MEN CHOOSE THEM???

You see when a man finds a wife HE FINDETH A GOOD THING…

It’s not a woman’s place to decide on a union…according to Proverbs 31…so where are you men???
________________________________________________

True but it is up to her to accept that person who wants her or not, just because I man wants you does not mean that you want him but marriage is still for two people or am I confused to me men just you to let them make all of the choices but marriage is still about two people…

@ Old Timer – Your mom might not have picked the right men but she certainly has the qualities to seal the deal. Some women are lovable and can make men dream of staying forever.
Other women need a persistent man to get thru the hardcover. Obviously there are not alot of persistent men out there who are willing to wait for the strong self reliant woman to drop the facade and admit she wants to love and be loved. If your guard is up too long the man will bolt.

Because SOME men are afraid of a woman who won’t have to depend on his money. These are the SAME men who like to call ALL women “gold diggers”
A REAL man doesn’t measure his worth by his wallet. And a real woman won’t either. In Oprah’s case, her man makes much less than her and they are fine. it’s OTHER people who insist on measuring Oprah’s man’s worth by what he doesn’t have. BTW, This ugly syndrome does not just hit the Oprah’s of the world. I have many girlfriends who are still single because the men they’ve dated have it in their heads that they are not men unless they are making all the money in the household. It’s pure ugliness and it’s probably ONE the biggest divide in Black male/female relationships.

Ok so what if we don’t get married…this is 2009. some Women don’t get married. Geez! That is not everyone’s life goal!

It’s because the majority of the incarcerated men are black or latino. So there is a smaller pool of men to pick from. Then, there is a higher ratio of females getting an education than men. (check the u.s. education stats it’s true) It seems like the roles have reversed where women are surpassing men. I suggest to try dating outside your race.

I’m an educated black male with a good career (30 yrs old). I can say that we aren’t in short supply. I think alot of black women just set their standards too high and listen to sore women of generations past (most who had problems with men). IMO, it seems as though women who grew up with a positive man/family in their lives are easier to deal with and more accustomed to family life and being with a man. Just like most women beaters grew up in a home where they learned the behavior – black women who are more “family oriented” tend to grow up in functional families.

I think it’s just a learned behavior-

tella

@janitation

does handling a REAL black man consist of drama, prison time, or excuses???

Don’t attack, just discuss…
___________________________________________________

Okay, and black women don’t go to jail, have drama or make bogus excuses???? Yeah, right!!! LOL111

another thing is from experience, I am divorced and haven’t remarried (it’s been 2 years)…instead I have gotten a degree and started a nice non-profit org…we’re steadily expanding and I don’t plan on having any commitments because some guys I like want me to need them and as soon as I show them I don’t they run…other guys want to be there 100% but his ambition is comfotable where he’s at…the others are married…or writing me from the pen…wth?

Whoa I could not wait to write this. Let me begin by saying this, brothers are suffering under the illusion that the white woman will treat them better. That they she is not as loud and boastful as the black woman. However I have found that the white woman may be worst than the black woman because when she decides to be bad she is very bad. The same black man will complain that the sisters are acting to strong, however the white woman may start out acting needed to get them however she will eventually show her true colors. Yes we are becoming educated and coming into our own place in society. for years we have stood behind the black man and as soon as he become successful he wants to have a white woman on his arms. He acts like having a strong black woman on his arm is disgusting. However the majority of black men were raised in a single family home by a strong black woman. Have we done something so wrong that you the black man would rather walk all over us than to walk with us. Maybe the real history should be taught in school, the one that teaches how society once viewed the black man as a animal, how towns were destroyed because of the lie of a white woman. Do not think for one moment that the same white woman you proudly have on your arms if she says that you my brother have done something wrong to her would not be believed. Then you will be like kobe or oj wanting the black woman to come to your defense. Yes we will probably stand up for you, but will you stand up for us, I wonder.

YAWN! I am so tired of this discussion. The reality is Black males will never take responsibility for the fact that a Black woman with degrees who worked HARD to get to where she is wishes to share her life with someone who is EQUALIVALENT to her. Educated Black women are NOT asking for anything different then what educated women of other races are asking. The REAL question is why there are so few financially stable educated well rounded Black men.

Black women need to stop being soloayl to Black males and expand their horizons.

We need to stop those excuses that marriage isn’t for everyone. I don’t know a single sista who don’t want to get married. Hell I have never met a woman of any race who didn’t want to be married. May sistas are embarrased to admit the dating pool is smaller the higher you climb up the ladder. Obesity & out of wedlock kids are just 2 reasons why many sista’s are not marketable with other races of highly educated men. I know a young black woman just graduated law school with 4 baby daddys. Who do you think is going to want her beside Pookie.

imagine attempting to debate a serious topic with gossip site posters……………FAIL

@moneygetta

Stop lying to yourself, educated Black men are absolutely in short supply. Having a family does not mean anything if that family is dysfunctional. A family means there is a man with high moral and principle (no beating, lying or cheating) and a wife who is the same. There is more to a family then just a man being in this house.

Now let me address your issues of standards, I have very little patience for Black men who complain about women with standards. The reality is MOST Black males grow up in an environment where very little is asked of them. Therefore, they live heir entire lives not living up to a standard. Here comes a woman such as myself who have standards and demands them from any man that I date and all of a sudden I become the bad guy. Standards are a GOOD thing and no Black woman should every feel guilty for having them.

There are SOOO many reasons why successful black women are single. Some women are too selfish, so they don’t need to be married. Some women tend to bring the boardroom into the bedroom, and that DOES NOT work. You can not be the boss and have power at work, then come home at act in the same manner. Marriage is a partnership, and some women think they can run their marriage like a business.

I will probably upset some women, but our standards are high. I have friends who have age, income, and property requirements. Meaning, they must make six-figures, own their own home, have a fly car, and be ready for marriage and a baby within two years of dating. Some women are worried about materialistic stuff, and don’t care how the man will treat them. In all my 31 years of living, I have never seen a man that has it all, nor is it fair to put those type of expectations on a man, or anyone for that matter. If you do, you will be highly disappointed, and single.

@TOO SHORT

Yep and thats the problem with alot of relationships. We shouldnt settle for less no matter what. But I do think that marriage has lost its true value-anyone can get married and ppl divorce at the drop of a dime.I understand where some succesful women might hesitate, cause I wouldnt want to give half of what I worked hard for to someone who wasnt in for the long run anyway.

I’m a single black woman, with college degrees, and I work in banking management. Some would say I’m successful but I don’t think I’ve hit all of my goals.

I’m single because I chose to be. My mother and father have been married over 30 years so it’s not that I never had any examples of a stable black couple. My mother was old fashioned and stayed home with us so it’s not that I don’t know my place as a woman or how to take care of a man and family. I don’t hate men and I’m not attracted to women (i’ve been accused of being gay). I don’t see myself as selfish I’m very giving of my time to family and friends. I’ve never been told that I have an attitude. I’ve been told by black men who only date white women that they are surprised that I don’t fit the sterotype they have prejudged on us. So no I don’t think I have an attitude problem. One problem I do have is that I am fiercely independent. I hate to ask others for help but that’s of anyone not just men. I don’t think I’ll be single forever eventually I’ll slow down. I just don’t think there is a cookie-cutter answer to this topic.

@Progressive Sista

applause…thanks for spelling that out for some.

@ Miss Kesha86 Hold up girlfriend. I am one of those successful black men. Married to a successful black woman. I am already established, not trying to make it happen. I am simply attempting to make the point that the strong sister, strong black woman sydrome does more harm than good. Besides that your white boyfriend can have you; because you look like Tiffany.(I Love New York)

Progressive Sista

I hear ya sister and your worth should never be base on another person label of you after all they put no time in creating you or raising you but they want for you to change everything for there lack of character…

Rrrrroe Ski Love- A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

I am simply attempting to make the point that the strong sister, strong black woman sydrome does more harm than good.
__________________________________________________

So a weaker woman would work for you over a strong one?

I love black women,some of them just need to take the attitude down a bit and stop telling men that they dont need them every other day….

When the hell did Oprah become the poster child for all black women? I personally don’t aspire to be like her.

Just Sayin

Men rarely drop there no good friend and they spread more hate then the woman… Always trying to get the married man to go out and get more woman… I do think that married people should hang around married friends…

smarter than you

I love black women,some of them just need to take the attitude down a bit and stop telling men that they dont need them every other day….
__________________________________________________

Thanks for the love but men tell woman that they don’t need them even day by the things that they do and by the way that they cheat and destroy there families… Woman need to face there issues but why do black men always act as if they don’t need to be checked on there actions and ways… Everyone can use some correction..

Black women should be open minded about dating other races. I am not saying disenfranchise the other-but just be open minded.

Men can be just as materialistic as women if not more…

I roll up to the gas station this morning and a fella wanna holla when I step out the ride…but dude is looking like he’s on his way to a concert while I’m looking like I’m on my way to a seminar…um…excuse me why do you think we’re compatible???

@Mis Kesha,

You are wrong. There arent more black men in jail than there are in college and let the record show that not only do black females date below thier education even when they date IR.

WOW…AMERICANS…WOW….
FROM A FOREIGN BLACK CHICKS POINT OF VIEW (hopefully it counts)…I Speak for many…

The Topic here should be African American…because for one…alot of things that apply to black America does not apply to all Blacks world wide. We Black foreign chicks care less if our men date other races…in fact, we embrace it and teach other different stuff…makes it FUN!We females have always be open to dating other races because at the end of the day…we are equally created before God. It seems in America, anything different is not easy to accept within the African American community. We black foreign chicks catch hell too from “SISTAS”. Women here ridicule each other beyond reality….It seems for us foreign chicks…we are accepted more by the other races, esp. caucasian..and that’s why many of us stick with our men that we love dearly or marry other races. Now…No one knows and understands the severe bitterness between the AA males and the AA females…But themselves…I hope! But one thing for sure…AA females…WOW…change your attitudes…I mean…everyones sees it….At work, at the grocery store, at school….Just plain pld mean…
Now you ask why you are twice likely not to be married….Here’s a start…Change your attitudes towards your selves for starters, your men, other people….Quit the negative comments towards us foreign chicks because really, we don’t really care…we just marry your Men in the meantime…At 30…all my foreign black female friends are married to either foreign guys or other races….

@ Unbought and Unafraid

The “Y” chromosome has been deteriorating — some say it’s doomed.
———————————————-

That’s an interesting perspective that I am unfamiliar with…

Do you mind expounding on this subject?

ElCapitan

So do men have unrealistic standards as well because men are not perfect and often feel as if they need no coaching or checking to me this is not realistic…

Some of you all have WAY TOO MUCH HOSTILITY. It’s just a darn discussion. Chill out.

Water seeks its own level!!!!!!!!!!!

Women and men in successful marriages are on the same page.

Financially, Intellectually, and Socially
the same. I have seen many a woman destroy her position by showing up at a company function with a man dressed like a toddler, who can not put a sentence together and arrogant as the CEO. This calls into the woman’s judgment as gets her fired.

Men are stronger than women!!!!!!!!!!

This means as strong as a sister can be MEN are suppose to be STRONGER. A very strong black women make feminine by her husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU FOOLS

try and…..mot=not*

@trs

here’s a good article on the suject:

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/s_634064.html

They’re alone because they like to dominate. Some think they can control the relationship like they control their workplace. They’re also alone because a lot of them don’t have the proper examples of what a healthy relationship between two black people is like. A lot of black women didn’t have good father figures and have crazy expectations of the men they meet. From my experience, black women who were raised with a mother and father in the house are easier to be around because they know what a real man is.

Stop responding to idiots…

This isn’t a conversation fit for everyone. Let the kids sit on the sidelines.

@WHATYOMOMMASAY

AGREED

I think that best answer is to just your time until you know yourself which is the first person that you need to know… It too much trying to conform yourself into a image that most people will never identify for yourself…I still want a man to be in my life but not at the point of lose my own strength and confidence… I want a man who understand the scarific that is need in a marriage which is required from both sides… I do want a man who know God because at least I know that he will listen and take advice from someone else if not me… A man whp prays takes the time to think properly and who cares about his family environment as well as himself…

Romy

They’re alone because they like to dominate. Some think they can control the relationship like they control their workplace. They’re also alone because a lot of them don’t have the proper examples of what a healthy relationship between two black people is like. A lot of black women didn’t have good father figures and have crazy expectations of the men they meet. From my experience, black women who were raised with a mother and father in the house are easier to be around because they know what a real man is.
__________________________________________________

This is very true and if you have lived in a single parent enviroment after all of these years you might not trust a man truth in a couple of days… Real question does he have the patience to show her different just like we have to have the patience for a man to mature…

@ Unbought and Unfraid

I am going to do just that. Thank you!

So your position is that because the Y chromosome is shrinking, men are genetically unable to live up to their responsibilities (which include raising families)?

Now I am not trying to argue with you. I am just trying to understand where you are coming from.

@tella

They may have an auto moderation on comments that have cussing or seem like it has ad spacing.

@ Progressive Sista- I see no wedding bells in your future. Since you have such high standards, I guess that also means no kidds. Such is life!

WhatyoMommaSay

Water seeks its own level!!!!!!!!!!!

Women and men in successful marriages are on the same page.

Financially, Intellectually, and Socially
the same. I have seen many a woman destroy her position by showing up at a company function with a man dressed like a toddler, who can not put a sentence together and arrogant as the CEO. This calls into the woman’s judgment as gets her fired.

Men are stronger than women!!!!!!!!!!

This means as strong as a sister can be MEN are suppose to be STRONGER. A very strong black women make feminine by her husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU FOOLS
_________________________________________________

Well some woman have never seen a man be strong but they have seen there mother and sister be strong but no men so what else is she suppose to believe? Men understand this dynamic but still of children not being raised in there present but still they hold the uninformed sister responsibile when they are a big part of not being around… I think this is very crazy logic…

@shay

yeah that too, but this is owned by whites…trust!

it’s too coincidental that they have never moderated other garbage…I can get away with cussing but when I educate and speak optimistic on the “royal bloodline” and the patterns of history…it needs moderation…

Everytime I talk history I need moderation…it just won’t go thru???

@Miss Kesha86:

I dont mean to burst your bubble, but that is not true. Those are statistics that give us to make us believe that.

Of course whatever numbers you bring up will fall on deaf ears; however, hearing this “cliched” and incorrect statement for so long will make people adhere to it.

Dont believe the hype.

Besides, if they are “good” black men, then they wouldnt be in jail in the first place. Ya know….its pretty easy to stay outta jail, dont you think?

pompo ur ignorant plain and simple u traitor

Rrrrroe Ski Love- A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

@ Progressive Sista- I see no wedding bells in your future. Since you have such high standards, I guess that also means no kidds. Such is life!
_______________________________________________

See men try to make woman feel that it is there way or no way not even God give us that image… This is what makes it hard for a woman to submit or to conform because it all about a man happiness and over her sadness this to me is dangerous….

@kigali

welcome…why so crabby and speaking so harsh…? I know, I know freedom of speech but not freedom of anger…this is just a discussion hun…

@Progressive Sista,

Don’t let people negative words tear you down because you have the right to be your very own person, and opinion are like azz whole everyone has one…

@enkogkneegro- Good choice of words, that they should understand.

I think that the women who end up not getting married are those who are caught up on certain QUALITIES they want instead of being able to recognize a QUALITY mate.

God doesn’t always present the gift in the wrapping you want. So, my suggestion to black women is to really not base your requirements on the earthly gains one acquires, but on spiritual maturity and aspirations. Women have to want that MORE than the superficial accomplishments of financial and physical status..

If the man is self-sufficient and doesn’t use you as a crutch, then regardless of who makes the most money, the relationship is on equal footing. Also, you both should be able to pay your own bills and be able to blend your lives together @ the very least.

I don’t know, that’s my 2 cents.

I know just as many single professional white women as single professional black women. Everyone’s situation is different, but can tell you this:

1. You have to open yourself up to love. Black women tend to limit themselves mainly because they don’t want to disappoint their parents, their friends, or their church.
2. In a relationship you can’t be the man and the woman. Men don’t want to hear the “I’m a strong black woman” line. The word “strong” is a masculine term. Men respond positively to softness, sensitivity, and vulnerability. They view themselves as the protector and the leader of the household.
3. Building on #2, you have to give a man something to do. You can’t be all things and expect the man to hang around. You have to play the damsel in distress once in a while otherwise your man will feel like you don’t need him.

I know all of this from experience. You can agree to disagree, but if you want a man, you better ask somebody.

It sad to say to me but with successful black women it boils down to money. I look around and see so many successful black women who are alone but I do see a trend in how a woman will act with men who make more than them vs those who make equal or less than them. It’s seems it’s NEVER a problem when men who makes significantly more (other than most time this isn’t going to be the guy that wants to settle down)……but when you have for example a lawyer talking to a guy making equal to or less than her like a manager at Foot Locker it’s strange to me to see how women attitudes become. I admit some women seem to get it but the majority are still bouncing from man to man looking for that top 10% when that guy making just a little less is the one who actually probably be better to settle with …I guess the bottom line is a successful woman will commit herself to working things out with a man making a lot faster if he has more money, but that same successful woman has a harder time letting her man be a man if he isn’t making more than she is. If women judge men more by character versus status I think we’d see more successful relationships.

blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
blackgirlsrockit.com
Where black women are strong, beautiful, and free to choose, and they do not choose loneliness, those days are over. We choose to love the men you are the better suited for us regardless of the package they come in.

I think its kind of a two edged sword. I have more education than my husband, I had a more stable childhood and I make more money. I love him but it is a constant struggle to keep from injuring his ego. Sistahs are just used to handling biz so if you are going to huff and puff about being the man then HANDLE IT. Please.

Successful black women should follow Oprah’s lead and date other successful black women.

EVERYBODY’S HAPPY!

“You can agree to disagree, but if you want a man, you better ask somebody.” – chaka1
___________________________________________________

Chaka1 aka Shante Smith (2 Can Play That Game).
LOL! That’s the first thing I thought of when I read your post..

I have to agree with a few of the other folks here. Black men are very intimidated by a Black woman who’s doing her thing. They for some reason feel emasculated and lesser than rather than encouraged to complement us in other aspects.

@Romy

You are right with the father figure statement. You must have a positive relationship with your father or a supportive male figure.

I found my man because as I got older, I got more in tune with myself and the type of man I was attracting. I learned how to identify a man who wanted me for sex, and a man who was truly interested in me on a deeper level.

Could it be that black women like to include their friends in their relationship. I’m dating you not them.

I am a college educated woman and I wanted a college educated man. I refused to settle for anything less and that is why I married a White man, and to the young man that stated that men of races are not into BW that is a lie. Black Women do not listen to the DBR brothers(DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR) who keep trying to tell you that men of other races don’t want you because that is a lie to keep you down. I know because when I started dating outside of my race I started meeting quality men that like me for me and not because I’m Black.

Best of luck to them though…marriage aint easy no matter how much paper you’ve got.

tella

Thanks for that but most people equally and fully except there ignorance as truth so let him because what he eat and take in don’t make me shit… So please just ignore him that is about all of the attention that he needs…

to ms kesha86 …as far as it being more black men in jail than college …that is bullshit..

eveinthegarden

I love to hear your point of view so please keep informing us the marriage scene….

@eveinthegarden,

“I love him but it is a constant struggle to keep from injuring his ego.”

Yes I have noticed it is hard for black females to be decent, even to the men in their lives. Is it a struggle to keep from beating your children?

@El Captain

you have no idea but you read it from start to finish…no worries…you will change up your tone…

zetalady

another thing, only in black culture are we women taught to aspire for less. so damn sad and pathetic.

This is the truth!!! I’ve seen ministers beg sistas to engage with brothas….If black men are so wonderful why is everyone pleading their case?

I think they are single because they don’t broaden their horizons. No one says that you have to be with a Black person. Date out of your race. There are other men out there not just Black men. As for men being intimated of Black women it’s a total myth. I get approached by all types of men. Maybe its because I’m young I’m 19.

“@eveinthegarden,

“I love him but it is a constant struggle to keep from injuring his ego.”

Yes I have noticed it is hard for black females to be decent, even to the men in their lives. Is it a struggle to keep from beating your children?” –
Kigali
___________________________________________________

Hilarious. I think it’s easy for women to use the “ego” excuse to dismiss what are legitmate feelings for men. Help me out w/ what you mean by that as well..

@Ms. Carribean

IF WE SPREAD THE MESSAGE TO BLACK WOMEN AND BLACK MEN TO DATE OUTSIDE THE RACE THEN WHO WILL PRESERVE THE BLACK CULTURE…THAT IS THE TACTIC TO WATER DOWN OUR RACE AND HAVE US CONFORM TO OTHER CULTURES…EVERY OTHER RACE CAN BE REPRESENTED FULL BREED BUT OURS HAS TO BE WATER DOWNED AND MIXED???

typo

“I propose” not “I purpose.” My B.

@rrrrrrrr ski love

you’re only one…now if EVERY BLACK MAN was that way we wouldn’t be having this discussion…

we can be bossy and dominate all day but do that MAKE the black man lazy, weak, or intimidated…seriously if you have a little sister or a daughter…how many black men are elgible to date them and give them a decent lifestyle?

Those dumb studies/statistics is BS. And the reason for that maybe some black couples is not quick to walk down the isle as white there are many factors or maybe like Oprah who dosent want to get married.

But isn’t Oprah still with Stedman

and can someone tell me whats the prize of having a black man….. ok

When will black men realize that those domineering, strong and independent women who sicken them….are their mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, etc. These strong sisters make you SICK?

You are lost

@Cincy’s Own,

Black men arent intimidated by black females success (though low in number) but black females of all strata are intimated by a black man’s humanity. Their egos are too huge to treat people decently. Black females love bully power. Ask their men, their children and the Koreans who do their nails and sell them their hair. They have all suffered from her abuse.

@WhatyoMommaSay

Amen…now u are speaking facts!!!

@ tella

Most Black people are mixed with something. Even in Africa, there are Black Africans mixed with Chinese, Indian, Arab, and White. Not to mention all of the Blacks in Brazil, the Caribbean, Latin American, and in Asia. We’re all mixed.
I’m Jamaican, Dominican and Puerto Rican myself, my great-great-grandma was Japanese/Chinese immgrant who lived in Jamaica. I’m mixed and I embrace all of my cultures. It’s up to the individual to carry on their culture.

@KIGALI

You goin hard today.

@ Kigali- ……..

What do I mean by struggling not to injure his ego. I make more money. I manage the bills better. I have greater foresight about what has to be paid and when. His ego tells him he should be making the decisions because he is the MAN and who am I to say that we cant afford to do XYZ. So…either I follow his poor judgment (leaving his ego intact) and clean up his mess later or try to gently dissuade him from whatever it is big man ‘wants’. If its not ‘gentle enough’ then I get called controlling. Therein lies my STRUGGLE.

I guess this topic just proves to me to continue to take my time and just love myself because who wants to be involved in a relationship or marriage who only goals is to make you feel bad and lowery about yourself as a woman. She will be the one who will nurture your children and who will give them confidence and it seems that the man only wants her if she is willing to be less than a person for his own personal needs… I would rather take time to live and chill with Gods words to lift me up and motivate me then to listen to these countless negative words of a man…

@Ms. Carribean

I hear you…but when a black woman gets with a black man…it won’t be easy trying to continue the black culture…but women are supposed to make the home…

Then when black men get with other races…the kids won’t take on the black culture…

My thing is that a black family has represented strength…or a pure all colored skin family that is…so when you see interacial families it doesn’t elude that same strength to me…

and my bad..the comment was actually towards Cindy’s Own.

Your question, Kigali, about whether its a struggle to not beat my children was ridiculous.

Black women should expand their dating pool. Most only date blk men, but there are tons of other good looking races of men who would treat you well. Expanding your options would help!!

@trs
+++++

So very well stated — but I have been hearing the same VITRIOLIC attacks that black men and women make on each other (HELL — read this thread !!!!) and my heart gets weary.

We DO treat each other ABOMINABLY — whites that I know who have married into other races simply say that happened to meet someone that they loved who happened to be red, yellow, brown or black. They don’t turn their choice in a mate into an attack on their own kind.

I read BLACKS ON THIS SITE EVERY DAY who utterly DESPISE blacks of the opposite sex.

A snake or a frog adapts in nature by getting protective coloration, or developing the ability to blend into its surroundings — maybe the VITRIOL is our way of GUARANTEEING that there WON’T BE any damn “black” people around to hate each other.

MAYBE just maybe the vitriol is nature’s way of saying “enough” — no damn more of you MOFOS.

@eveinthegreen,

Thats the man you married. Having said that you can make more money, pay bills, and make decisions all the while treating people, your man, the one you married, with some respect and dignity because I am sure if the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldnt like him treating you like you were his chattel.

Women need to expand your dating pool! Dont limit yourself!!

eveinthegarden

and my bad..the comment was actually towards Cindy’s Own.

Your question, Kigali, about whether its a struggle to not beat my children was ridiculous.
__________________________________________________

As most of the stuff and comments on here…

I want a successful BLACK woman WHAT’S UP???

REality

I want a successful BLACK woman WHAT’S UP???

There all around you, so what is your story?

We do want a man to be a man, but it seems like they dont exist anymore. I dont blame the black women nor black men. However, I do blame black mothers, teach your sons how to be a MAN.

Kigali~
Where did you pull being ‘treated like chattel’ from? Thin air perhaps?

@eveinthegreen,

My question about beating your children wasnt ridiculous. You sound like you find it hard to be nice good and decent. Its not hard for me to be those things. At a very VERY brief point in my marriage I was making more and paying bills in my house, by my husband was still the last word, the decision maker, the head of our home. He importance and his role went beyond money and paying bills. He has always been the protector, the guide of our family. He doesnt need to make any money to do that provided he is wise and decent.

Now if you married a man that is incompetent that just goes to show how utter incompetent YOU are.

Txhustla15

No it is just that we keep participating and gravitating to this BS, from now on I am going to pass these type of topics and only read post that are food for the brain no based on destroying it…

@S.Walk

lmao

Ashlee

We do want a man to be a man, but it seems like they dont exist anymore. I dont blame the black women nor black men. However, I do blame black mothers, teach your sons how to be a MAN.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Why just black mothers? Why not both parents?

I’ve never understood that argument. If you’re comment is based on a single mother family then why is the fault on the parent who has chosen to be responsible for the child? Why not blame the parent who isn’t part fo the family? In your instances wouldn’t it take a man to teach a boy to be one?

Anyway I am out and next time I will try to stop being interesting in these types of post because it creates more anger than happiness…

@Aslee,

You telling me there are a bunch of women in the black community? More like Plies Bust It Babies. How about black females marry men who can teach their sons how to be men. Or is that too difficult?

@ Unbought and Unafraid

A snake or a frog adapts in nature by getting protective coloration, or developing the ability to blend into its surroundings — maybe the VITRIOL is our way of GUARANTEEING that there WON’T BE any damn “black” people around to hate each other.

MAYBE just maybe the vitriol is nature’s way of saying “enough” — no damn more of you MOFOS.
————————————————

You have no idea how much I enjoyed reading this comment. I could not have said it better myself!!!!

What bothers me is the lack of support that we seem to have for one another and our individual failure to assume our proper roles. Don’t even get me started….

The bottom line is that I won’t give up on Black men. If more Black women shared this perspective, and if more Black men were willing to step up to the plate and BE A MAN, we would not be having this conversation.

HEY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

no Kigali…it was a ridiculous question. You purposely take statements overboard to get a rise out of people. My husband is not incompetent nor am I. I am better with the bills than him and he will admit that himself (after the fact).

My husband enjoys his position as priest of our home…my point was an admission that its a struggle for me when it comes to balancing the spirit and the flesh.

Hey trs. How are you today?

Black women are not getting married because of our(black men) craziness right now. Flat out.

@tella

I disagree, interracial families have go through a lot of bull from society itself, other people, and their own race. It takes a lot of strenght to do that.

@Shay,

“If you’re comment is based on a single mother family then why is the fault on the parent who has chosen to be responsible for the child?”

You call what single black mothers are doing responsible? No, had they waited till they were married before they decided to stop using birth control, assuming they did, that would show how responsible they were for their children. Instead the do the very UNresponsible thing by having a child while unmarried or aborting these children. 13 million since it was made legal.

@trs
+++++

Have a good ‘un little sis. I gotta go and do the stuff these narrow minded people actually PAY ME FOR.

I haven’t heard of too many black women turning down proposals, so we have to present ourselves better and understand the committment part.

Bye Unbought and Unafraid!!! Thanks for the intellectual convo!

@ Awesome

I am having a bad day today. ;(

Tell me something good!! How was the weekend?

These men get intimidated by a woman’s success so sometimes just dating them is hard work for a sister. YOu trying to down play yourself..lift him up…go to school…build a career…dang who can do all that??

Most black women I know who are single, like it that way

@eveinthegarden,

“My husband enjoys his position as priest of our home…”

Youre so generous.

Most black women I know who are single, like it that way

@ trs

Something good huh… There’s a today, and a tomorrow right after it. That work? The weekend was great. The Blue Devils and the Ravens won, so Saturday and Sunday was good.

Hey Awesome!

Hey Tony Redds :

BE

I respect you and everything but that statement is totally false, its no way that MOST black women like to be single unless you mean females that are 18-21.
I’m not a woman but I still know some things.

@ datniggblack

You are the epitome of Black ignorance.

Hey BE

Besides once you make a certain amount of money the available black men goes down…and then who wants to get with a man you may feel may resent you in the end?

Kigali~
Generosity(?)…more thin air.

@S. Walk – I didn’t say all black women I said the ones that I know. They enjoy just doing them

date outside their race, not races.

Hi BE, hope you had a good B-Day week my dear….

@ Robyn Lisa

hannibal and prettywhitegirl are also, if anything all 3 might be the same person

@drenk

you don’t believe God has chosen people and made a covenant with a certain race?

we already have one human race…lol

BE

So MOST of the Black women that YOU KNOW actually prefer being single?

A question for Black Men

Do you really think Harriet Tubman and Madame CJ Walker were submissive little honies?

If so, your an idiot

@ Awesome

Something good huh… There’s a today, and a tomorrow right after it. That work? The weekend was great. The Blue Devils and the Ravens won, so Saturday and Sunday was good.
—————————————————

LOL!! I am glad that you had a good weekend. I took the LSAT this weekend!

Oh, and you were showing OUT in the A Keys thread yesterday!

“What is 14 inches and White?
Not a thing!”

I fell OUT!!!

@BE

@S. Walk – I didn’t say all black women I said the ones that I know. They enjoy just doing them
___________________________________________________

NO WOMAN ENJOYS DOING THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME…..

@drenk

I’m hannibal and prettywhitegirl…boy/girl you are sooooooooo doing the wrong research!!!

First…what did we say that sounded similar???

Second…what did we say that sounded similar???

seriously…was it my Kigali comment??? Did I upset you?

Marriage is an antiquated and out-of-touch tradition that is rightfully dying. It is overvalued and a detriment to society.

Hiya, trs!!!!

@ Robyn Lisa

no there isnt 1 human race because we still seperate each other into different “races,” if there was one human race than this website would be called Hossip

WordtotheWise

I swear, I think many in the black race are mentally ill.

—————

I blame the tap water!

@drenk

my bad…I read it over…I assumed you were saying I was apart of the three…lol

@ BE

Besides once you make a certain amount of money the available black men goes down…
—————————————————

That is why sistas need to stop advertising what they have and using it as leverage if their man makes less! A man shouldn’t know what’s in your bank account until he puts a ring on it. Lots of women shove the fact that they make a lot of money in their man’s face, and that’s part of the problem. I know you know what’s up with that though!

@ Daywalker

Hiya, trs!!!!
———————————————–

Hi there Daywalker!! How are you today??

@Man, I just don’t care™

Marriage is an antiquated and out-of-touch tradition that is rightfully dying. It is overvalued and a detriment to society.
___________________________________________________

Actually, no other species found in nature is sexually monogamous for life other than humans…It goes against the very concept of evolution, genetics, and nature for a man to be sexually monogamous! As a matter of fact, it was the church and women who originally came up with the concept in the first place……

@ trs

@ Awesome

Something good huh… There’s a today, and a tomorrow right after it. That work? The weekend was great. The Blue Devils and the Ravens won, so Saturday and Sunday was good.
—————————————————

LOL!! I am glad that you had a good weekend. I took the LSAT this weekend!

Oh, and you were showing OUT in the A Keys thread yesterday!

“What is 14 inches and White?
Not a thing!”

I fell OUT!!!
_______________________

How do you think you did? One of my teammates took it and didn’t do too well, then he took it again and got a 167. He’s in his third year at Penn Law now.

Haha, yesterday was funny, you know how the lurkers come out on the weekends.

Being singles has it perks just like being in a commented relationship has it’s perks as well… God does talk about being single and how it is easier to be single and to follow God and if one feels that they must be married to marry..

committed was the word that I meant to use…

trs

@ BE

Besides once you make a certain amount of money the available black men goes down…
—————————————————

That is why sistas need to stop advertising what they have and using it as leverage if their man makes less! A man shouldn’t know what’s in your bank account until he puts a ring on it. Lots of women shove the fact that they make a lot of money in their man’s face, and that’s part of the problem. I know you know what’s up with that though!
——————————

I need to know what you makin and your credit score well before I put a ring on it…lol
And as for me I could care less that my woman makes more than me…

@ Awesome

How do you think you did? One of my teammates took it and didn’t do too well, then he took it again and got a 167. He’s in his third year at Penn Law now.
———————————————–

The only part that I am worried about is the “logic games” section. I feel like I murdered the rest of it…but I don’t want to jinx myself.

We will see!!!

@ Daywalker

Actually, no other species found in nature is sexually monogamous for life other than humans…It goes against the very concept of evolution, genetics, and nature for a man to be sexually monogamous! As a matter of fact, it was the church and women who originally came up with the concept in the first place……
______________________

Most beavers and a type of antelope are monogamous. They’re the only other animals I can think of right now. But still, the odds say that humans aren’t meant to be monogamous.

@TRS – That is why sistas need to stop advertising what they have and using it as leverage if their man makes less! A man shouldn’t know what’s in your bank account until he puts a ring on it. Lots of women shove the fact that they make a lot of money in their man’s face, and that’s part of the problem. I know you know what’s up with that though!

******************
I agree to a point, there will always be men who are going to be intimidated by what you make or how successful you are or might become.

Now how can you keep you income a secret? they may not know exactly how much you make but they will have an idea.

my husband don’t know my credit score…never has…it’s been 5 years

@ Daywalker

You are sweet!! You know I will always shout you out!

@ Tony Redd

LOL Yes you should know those two things before you put a ring on it! If you don’t mind a woman who makes less than you then you are “special.”
A lot of dudes have a problem with this, whether they want to admit it or not!

@ trs

The only part that I am worried about is the “logic games” section. I feel like I murdered the rest of it…but I don’t want to jinx myself.

We will see!!!
______________________

My girl didn’t like the games part either. You probably did well though. Let me know how you did when you get your results.

it’s a different focus. marriage doesn’t work for us all.

and by the way….

please read the blog: Open letter to President Obama: exposing the music industry of it’s rats and roaches!

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll

Awesome-O-3000:

True, but one male beaver wil never be with only one female beaver for life…Case being, if the female were to get killed, he’d take a new mate….and there are very few species that only stay witht the same mate, and those are lesser species….Humans are supposed to be waay more evolved than beavers and antelopes……Just sayin….

I agree with the comments that relate to where many Black women have learned about relationships. If your father wasn’t there to show you what a real black man is about, you probably learned what they’re about from someone else, more than likely a bitter woman. My former wife learned about how to treat a husband from a grandmother that had 6 children without a husband and a mother that had three the same way. I’m not saying they were wrong about everything, but marriage was a subject they should have stayed quiet about. When I would try to do things for our future benefit, she would revert to “well, my grandmother always told me…”. Stuff like, “my mother always said don’t loan no man money.” What’s that got to do with investing with your husband???
You sometimes are what you’re raised to be, and without an open mind and a willingness to change, education and money will not make a difference. You can take them out of the hood…

“What do I mean by struggling not to injure his ego. I make more money. I manage the bills better. I have greater foresight about what has to be paid and when. His ego tells him he should be making the decisions because he is the MAN and who am I to say that we cant afford to do XYZ. So…either I follow his poor judgment (leaving his ego intact) and clean up his mess later or try to gently dissuade him from whatever it is big man ‘wants’. If its not ‘gentle enough’ then I get called controlling. Therein lies my STRUGGLE.” – eveninthegarden
___________________________________________________

@ eveninthegarden

The struggle is in how you choose to express the truth about your feelings towards his ineffectiveness, right? If so, I do think that expressing your feelings about that towards him WITHOUT the emotional condemnation towards him your frustration allows and therefore justifies would be the superior form of communication and moreso than ego, that’s the rub where men are concerned…

It’s not about being threatened by your success or effectiveness where bills and things are concerned, it’s about how you exclude his participation in your struggle together by reducing his feelings to either inappropriate expressions or inferring that he’s being an ineffective leader and therefore inadequate provider.

It seems as though women want to feel entitled to the feelings they have instead of learning when and how to correctly and appropriately express them. If you tell him straight up what your problem is w/o telling him what HE’S NOT DOING, then you’ll get the COOPERATION that will allow the change that you would like to see in him.

Maybe, it’s just me, but I think that women nowadays don’t know how to talk to a man. And, that’s the point I think Kigali is trying to make. Women see are adherence to a particular outlook as ego, where we (me being a man) see it as upholding certain standards and holding someone accountable based upon correct principles.

Clarify my position if flawed or if I’m in the need of enlightening..

Kigali~“ Shut the hell up with your ranting and raving, they must be talking about you when they say black women cant shut the fu-k up~!! You have to be speaking of yourself~!

our adherence.*

@ BE

Now how can you keep you income a secret? they may not know exactly how much you make but they will have an idea.
—————————————————

You are right BE!!! They may THINK they know, and that’s ok. What I am saying is that it comes to income, it does not behoove a woman to put all of her business out there from jump street. Trust that a man won’t tell you ish until he is ready for you to know it!

It’s amazing how a man can go find a woman that doesn’t make as much as him or doesn’t have as much prestige and that would be ok. Soon as a woman gets a bachelors degree she demands that a man have the same or MORE. Double standard much?

Dummycrat and Repiglican…lol
***********DEAD**************

@Strictly – well said..I agree with all your points

Kigali~“ Shut the hell up with your ranting and raving, they must be talking about you when they say black women cant shut the fu-k up~!! You have to be speaking of yourself~!

**************
tell her rose…LMAO

BE

@TRS – That is why sistas need to stop advertising what they have and using it as leverage if their man makes less! A man shouldn’t know what’s in your bank account until he puts a ring on it. Lots of women shove the fact that they make a lot of money in their man’s face, and that’s part of the problem. I know you know what’s up with that though!

******************
I agree to a point, there will always be men who are going to be intimidated by what you make or how successful you are or might become.

Now how can you keep you income a secret? they may not know exactly how much you make but they will have an idea.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Not necessarily….I don’t always drive my nicest car to take a girl out on a date, or dress as nice as I can…I figure if she likes me when I’m not all dressed up nice, she’ll like me when I’m not…Most of the time, I don’t even tell girls what I do, I’ll make up some shit….Now if I like the girl, I’ll let her know more about me, but that information is earned, not freely given…I lot of guys screw themselves by revealing too much too soon, but I like to keep an air of mystery about myself, till I’ve decided I want more from a woman than just a fling…….

@Tony – I know you said that…
Dummycrat and Repiglican…lol
***********DEAD**************

@ Awesome

My girl didn’t like the games part either. You probably did well though. Let me know how you did when you get your results.
————————————————

Will do!

This topic has been debated SO many times. Women/Men (Black/White,etc.) are single by CHOICE. No one should “dull their shine” for anyone.

Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man has solds ten of thousands copies. I wonder if the book was entitled Act Like A Man Think Like A Woman how it would be received. As a woman I would not want a man who thinks like a woman. The title of this book alone trips me out because in one breath men say we need to be submissive but the title says, Think Like A Man. Yet thousands of woman have bought this book, Oprah thinks it is the best thing since sliced bread, Diane Sawyer is gitty over the book. Too many mixed singles for black woman — so back to initial point. Men/Women (Black, White,etc.) are single by CHOICE AND sometime CIRCUMSTANCE.

Just A Thought!

@ Tony Redd

LOL Yes you should know those two things before you put a ring on it! If you don’t mind a woman who makes less than you then you are “special.”
————————–

If she makes substancially less than me matters to a degree. If Im making 40k and year, I prefer that she at least making 30k. We have to live confortable. However other than income she has to have a level of ambition and drive comparable to me. I dont plan on working forever…lol

A”real woman” will help her man succeed if she loves him, not belittle him b/c she makes more, and it goes vice versus…..Most of you don’t know the meaning of marriage, because if you did it wouldn’t be what “I make” it would be “We make”

I figure if she likes me when I’m not all dressed up nice, she’ll like me when I am…*

Yo let Black women marry who they want and most importantly go throw up reading that Lamar Odom married this chick this weekend that he`s known longer than his gold fish !

Do not put the singleness of black women squarely on her shoulders. There are a lot of elements that create singleness, not just with black women, but with every other woman who is w/o husband.

Marriage will never die. It’s a known fact that good marriages make for good families, thus good communities. The breakdown of the black family is due to the lack of good men who fail to take the torch and run with it. They failed their families, children and communities. Women also play a part in that many don’t consider the men they decide to have children with. Marriage is a great thing (hope to do it soon), but it’s the couple themselves that make it either good or bad.

I’ve noticed the prevailing attitude toward marriage with many black people. We’ve resorted to shacking up and playing house and having multiple children with people we wouldn’t consider marrying. That doesn’t make sense to me.

Anyway, I still say that black womem need to consider other avenues if they choose to consider serious relationships and marriage.

Again, quit putting the blame solely on black women. It’s not as though some black men have learned to treat women right. Come on now. A lot of black men want the goods, but they aren’t willing to give it up themselves. If you are a great man, for the most part, women are responders and if you are doing what YOU are supposed to be doing, you won’t have any problem (for the most part) getting a woman who would give you everything you need and want. The men today are selfish. They want it all. They want to be the head, but they don’t have the skills to be the head. Stop looking at your own needs and look at the need to your partner. You just might get what you so desire.

@Snoop – A”real woman” will help her man succeed if she loves him, not belittle him b/c she makes more, and it goes vice versus…..Most of you don’t know the meaning of marriage, because if you did it wouldn’t be what “I make” it would be “We make”

*************
I agree just put it all together and make it happen and thats how you progress.

Just being separated for a little while gave me some experiences with some men who ARE STILL living in the dark ages. start looking strange when they even think you make more than them.

@ daywalker

If a beaver moves on when it’s mate dies, then it is still being monogamous due to the fact that the word carries multiple levels of meaning. Humans remarry all the time when their spouse dies. To say that all animals are lesser beings means that humans can never be compared to other species so their lack of monogamy wouldn’t matter. That would leave us only with what we’ve known humans to do through history and religious beliefs (which I prefer to stay away from, lol).

SUCCESSFUL WOMEN LOOK DOWN ON MEN WITH NO MONEY.

SUCCESSFUL WOMEN LOOK DOWN ON MEN WITH NO MONEY.

**************
to a certain degree, if you are willing to work together to be successful (not even as successful) but just find something and be good at it and consistent most women will be willing….broke minded men who wanna stay broke..yes

have some goals in life…that’s all

he kinda look like tupac
____________________________

LMAO!!!

What’s you guys’ definition of successful? I think that differs from person to person and probably differs in here.

THERES A SIMPLE ANSWER TO THIS: THERE ARE “SUCCESSFUL” BLACK MEN OUT THERE, PROBLEM IS THEY HAVE A PLETHORA OF YOUNG BLACK WOMEN THROWING THEMSELVES AT THEM, SO WHY GET MARRIED?

THE PROBLEM WITH SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMEN IS: THEY SPEND A MAJORITY OF THEIR LIVES GETTING TO THE TOP, AND BY THE TIME THEY REACH THE TOP THEY ARE OLD AND NO ONE WANTS THEM ANYMORE!

as a succesful jamaican brother, i relate with african american women, but marrying them is a no go…. im marrying one of my own which is jamaican.

@ BE

If that’s the case, then most successful women feel the same as successful men.

successful

I am a college educated black woman. I will tell you why I am not a proponent for marriage. First, many of the men I meet want a woman who is going to be the subordinate in a relationship. I have found this mindset transcends color, culture, education, religion, and financial status. They want a woman who is going to fully trust a man and let them guide her. I have done very well on my journey through life and when I refuse to let them “guide” me or consult with them on every decision I make they flip out. I walk out.

The second reason is many forget there are male golddiggers looking for a come up, too. They may be equally or more successful and only want a woman who can support them so they can pursue their dreams of being a kept husband.

I think money messes up some people’s egos…

Again, we love to make the black woman out to be the villian and it’s her fault that she’s single. Not so fast.

Look, let’s look at the dynamics here. Black women outnumber black men (I don’t know the numbers so
if I’m wrong, correct me). A good percentage of black men are either in jail, gay, thugs, or if you are a good man, married. That leaves very little left for good sisters to get involved with.

@Word to the Wise

I’ve noticed the prevailing attitude toward marriage with many black people. We’ve resorted to shacking up and playing house and having multiple children with people we wouldn’t consider marrying. That doesn’t make sense to me.
————————-

Just because you are married doesnt eliminate the possiblity of a man fathering children outside of the marriage. Marriage in our society is nothing more to me than legal document. Marriage Why is it that you marry in a church or before a pastor, yet the government must divorce you? The State (government) has replaced God today and the people have allowed it. People don’t go before God to get married. They go before the State to get married. My point is you can still have a healthy and prosperous relationship and not be “legally married” as long as both parties are on the same page..

If that’s the case, then most successful women feel the same as successful men.

_________________
and the men also so be careful who they marry…a woman can destroy a man if she is negative and unsupportive.

i have dated some successful black women, and they are all the same as being very shallow, ignorant loud and ghetto. black american women are not wifey material, on my street alone we have like 93% of single black mothers, how dreadful is that.

Str8 Truth>>>Great points. So many men are not equipped to lead. They have egos as large as the Grand Canyon. Again, I say there is nothing wrong with being single.

@Tony Redd – My point is you can still have a healthy and prosperous relationship and not be “legally married” as long as both parties are on the same page..
***********************
true but if its healthy why not make it legal?

@ Str8

You sound a like cocky.

@wordtowise
a good percentage of black men are in jail?LOL are you serious??

The second reason is many forget there are male golddiggers looking for a come up, too. They may be equally or more successful and only want a woman who can support them so they can pursue their dreams of being a kept husband.

*************
PREACH! that’s why some of them looking for an independent woman..so they can mooch off her and finish taking care of their kids and baby mamas…heck no

BECAUSE THE BLACK WOMAN MADE AN AGREEMENT WITH THE DEVIL IN GENESIS AND HAS KEPT THAT AGREEMENT SINCE THEN

people like wordtowise and st8 up are goin to be single for the rest of their lifes.

Leave A Message>>>Yes. Why is that surprising. Where have you been?

@ Be

Agreed.

@black
LOL

This is my opinion. No I am not rich but I do have a career. As I grow professionally so do my interest. I want to be with someone who has the same interest, similar education and so on. The problem is that when men become successful they want “the prize.” Black women are not “the prize” or the “trophy” in America. Sure their are a few men and I mean a few who are willing to go against the grain and be with a black woman. However, our options are few. The more successful we become the smaller our options are unless we are willing to be with someone we have little in common with. So instead of “marrying down” many of use choose to be single.

A women of any other race can be ugly, fat, poor whatever and still get married. A black women can be beautiful, smart, successful and go her whole life without a guy marring her. Messed up world we live in. People wonder why some of us are so angry when it comes to relationships.

Leave a Message>>>I’m in a very great relationship, dear. You know why? Because my man is not insecure and doesn’t try to change me. He got me this way, he likes it, and we are fine. We speak the truth. Too bad people have a hard time receiving it.

Like I stated before, if I was to be single, so what? Why do people always think women have to be attached to a man to be validated. I’m cool with my life. I’d rather be single than with someone I’m not compatable with.

@wordtowise
there alot of good black men who own their business, who are lawyers, doctors, teachers. but you black girls pick thugs and blame everything on black men.keep attracting thugs.

Alot of smart Black women are over-weight, unattractive and/or boring outside of the office
*************
oh boy…talk about generalizations

BE

@Tony Redd – My point is you can still have a healthy and prosperous relationship and not be “legally married” as long as both parties are on the same page..
***********************
true but if its healthy why not make it legal?
————————-

The institution of legal marriage in America is about money and nothing more. Why would marriage be unlawful before the eyes of the State if a man and woman were in love and decided to come together for purposes of satisfying their God’s command of man and woman coming together in holy matrimony and also to multiply via children and establishing a family? Why would this be illegal without the State’s permission? If God ordained marriage, why would the State (man) have a problem with marriage, wanting to regulate it? Money! Civilized marriage all boils down to the fact that the State sees both man and woman as pieces of state-owned property,

B’Cause they’re stupid, Got a lil money & success – Don’t need a man, Ask’em I bet they tell you they don’t need a man – Now that’s stupid – They’re to good for their dang on selves – Men aren’t intimadated by a succuessful woman, She just becomes to ingulfed in herself and forgets how to act…………………….

@wordtowise
if you have a man then you should know better. stop generalizing and saying all black men are in jail.

cant explain it. i guess its because …………………..i dont know! i cant speak for black women. i cant speak for blk men. from what i see. i think that deep down blk women hate us. they feel empowered and refuse to settle. i know that i dont discriminate and would date any woman i see fit. color doesnt matter. i must admit that white women tend to treat us better. for rich or for poor, latino women are known for sticking by our side. it just seems like SOME blk successful women seem to have an attitude. to be honest it seems that SOME black women have an attitude and can bring some brothers down. i think ppl put too much emphasis on money. its our currency but it cant buy u love or class. good ppl are hard to find. period

When she marries Gayle…

@chaka
My black pu**y is made of gold and diamonds.

OK?????? LOL

Leave a Message>>>Not only are you ignorant, but you lack comprehension skills. I never said ALL black men are in jail. Hello! You are more the idiot by generalizing all black women. Don’t like it when it’s done to you, huh.

Boy boo!

People need to stop equating money with success. You can make a ton of money and not be successful. It’s takes more than a large bank account, a couple cars and a house to be a success.

@tony – The institution of legal marriage in America is about money and nothing more. Why would marriage be unlawful before the eyes of the State if a man and woman were in love and decided to come together for purposes of satisfying their God’s command of man and woman coming together in holy matrimony and also to multiply via children and establishing a family? Why would this be illegal without the State’s permission? If God ordained marriage, why would the State (man) have a problem with marriage, wanting to regulate it? Money! Civilized marriage all boils down to the fact that the State sees both man and woman as pieces of state-owned property,

**********************
Well I see marriage not as money but as God’s plan for families….I agree people talk too much about money when it comes to marriage or divorce. I must say through my separation my husband and I have managed to keep that to a minimum.

I wouldn’t date anyone who is stupid, becasue it would piss me off

Swan06

Here is a bigger question, why ask other single black women? If you are trying to find the answer, let stop attacking what black men are doing which most likely is on such a small scale that it is not even worth reporting.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You really think it’s that one sided? If we’re going to discuss any issue we have to look at both sides. The only problem is people get so emotional they throw in everything but the kitchen sink. These debates end up looking like most black people hate each other.

@Awesome – People need to stop equating money with success. You can make a ton of money and not be successful. It’s takes more than a large bank account, a couple cars and a house to be a success.

******************
say it awesome…success for one may not be success for the other. I feel successful when my kids do well, money is just an ends to a good life, which is the reason why I work

People need to stop equating money with success. You can make a ton of money and not be successful. It’s takes more than a large bank account, a couple cars and a house to be a success.
_____________

real talk…..you can’t tell these Ivy Leaguers that!! lmao!!

anyway the way I see it, the women are checking out the women more than the men these days…for real! So the ratio of needing a “man” may be down quite a bit

@wordtowise
you dumb broad, are you calling me ignorant? where you not the one who said good black men are either gay or in jail and you say i am ignorant.GTFOH

what the hell, im sorry, if i have tons of money, then i am successful.LOL

real talk…..you can’t tell these Ivy Leaguers that!! lmao!!
______________________________

Haha, not at all.

what the hell, im sorry, if i have tons of money, then i am successful.LOL

************
lol..but there is more than one way to be successful…you can have tons of money but your kids are getting d’s f’s….are you still successful..not at parenting

@Holla
before that argument goes any further…kill that sh!t at once. Aint nobody intimidated by a chick having money. She got money…err ok and? Nope its because most white chicks grew up with money so its nothing.
****************************************************
actually out of all races and both genders there are more white women currently on welfare than any other demographic. so no “most white” girls did not grow up with money. just sayin…

good black men are NOT IN JAIL!
if they were good they would not be there, even the dummies who get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time…..sorry just my opinion.

Then are people that don’t make a lot of money unsuccessful? Grade school teachers, social workers etc.

BE

what the hell, im sorry, if i have tons of money, then i am successful.LOL

************
lol..but there is more than one way to be successful…you can have tons of money but your kids are getting d’s f’s….are you still successful..not at parenting

ill pay teachers to throw some a’s on the sh*t.LMAOO

Awesome-O-3000 (Feeling better about the ACC)

People need to stop equating money with success. You can make a ton of money and not be successful. It’s takes more than a large bank account, a couple cars and a house to be a success.
——————-

Success to me is knowing you have fulfilled your hearts desire….

@BE
exactly, tell that to that dumb broad..wordtothewise.

@Awesome – Then are people that don’t make a lot of money unsuccessful? Grade school teachers, social workers etc.

****************
not to me…success is different for each person. I’m not a lawyer but I feel successful but a lawyer might not and if he was a man he may not want to date me…

I think it’s their preference to be single, i don’t think it’s because the generalizations BW are making, just like alot of successful women rather not have kids…..

Ok..i’m out good night

Some of the comments in this thread are so uneducated.

Here it is in a nut shell. Women are attracted to status, men are attracted to beauty.

It does not work in reverse for women. No matter what a woman’s status, if she does not act in a feminine way and a man does not find her attractive, there is not going to be anything there. Nobody is checking for Oprah. She’s not attractive. All the money and degrees in the world can’t change that.

As for women, women ARE attracted to status and security. No matter how much a woman has, she is going to want someone on her own level or above (preferably above). It gives her the feeling of having a man of value and security and that’s what gets the gina tingly.

As black people we all know that promoting and supporting black women is the best way for the system to destroy the black family. It emasculates the man and raises up the woman’s standards so she is in conflict with her basic nature. Also it’s a double hit on any affirmative action quotas.

As a black man I think women on that level need to go and date outside the race. It’s the only way they can be comfortable getting both the status and security they desire. It doesn’t bother me at all to see that, as those women will not be dating me anyway, they are out of my league statuswise and financially.

bye be

BE

@Awesome – Then are people that don’t make a lot of money unsuccessful? Grade school teachers, social workers etc.

****************
not to me…success is different for each person. I’m not a lawyer but I feel successful but a lawyer might not and if he was a man he may not want to date me…
_______________________

See, I don’t get that. Perfect example, my girl is a lawyer, and one of her friends/colleagues is dating a guy that is a 6th grade teacher. She’s 30, he’s 28 and she makes almost three times more money than he does but could care less because they are both happy with what they do. That’s success to me.

Later BE

Nov. 27, 2009 is Black Friday!
Visit http://www.atlantablackfridaydeals.com for the latest after-thanksgiving sales ads!

success is determined by happiness and comfortability. success stories vary and it shouldnt be determined by how much money you make at the end of a fiscal year. a doctor and teacher are both successful. no big diff to me. if a black woman think she is better than the next blk woman because of income?………welll she’s not worth my time. oprah can be just as unhappy as a poor woman. maybe this is the problem. maybe black women shouldn’t hold riches over morality….i hate to change subjects but, why do blk women always have something to say about brothers but get pissed when they see us with a white woman? just asking.

because school/work and saving/making money are the focus of their life. more women should do this instead of having children at a young age and/or depending on a man. the only bad part is many women who do this, like Oprah, do not know when when/how or maybe lose to desire to incorporate love/children into their successful lives. it ends up being sad when the woman is 50, unmarried, and childless. this is like my aunt-owns a house, nice care, no debt, never married, no kids, travels, etc. but now she is getting older and alone.

Some women simply don’t WANT to be married. Believe it or not.

I think sucessful black women stays single because of the trust issue. They rather wait and find someone on their level, then to get with someone that will bring them down. That why white people divorce rate is so high because the rush to get married for the wrong reasons.

Awesome-O-3000 (Feeling better about the ACC)

@ daywalker

If a beaver moves on when it’s mate dies, then it is still being monogamous due to the fact that the word carries multiple levels of meaning. Humans remarry all the time when their spouse dies. To say that all animals are lesser beings means that humans can never be compared to other species so their lack of monogamy wouldn’t matter. That would leave us only with what we’ve known humans to do through history and religious beliefs (which I prefer to stay away from, lol).
___________________________________________________

No doubt, But my thing is: Human beings are animals,wheter we like it or not, we’re considered mammals….That being said, the fact that we aren’t monogamous by nature still remains….And monogamy in beavers is certainly no reason for me to get married just because it would make a female feel as though they are an example for me to follow…

@Daywalker

Thanks for the positive message last night, it was truly appreciated.

Most folks would probably consider me a successful black single female. I know personally I will not settle for someone not on my level or below and that goes for any man. That ish just will not cut it. That means drama, no life goals, no future, and can not hold a intelligent conversation. I am in the ATL and I have seen too many little boys running around down here not worth my time. LOL

I see marriage as 50/50 . Too many be trying to make it 90/10 or 80/20. That is not going to for me either. Most respectable women want a guy who can carry his own not leeches. LOL

To be truthful, if this is all that is left in the dating pool. I would rather be single. SMH

Myth.. All black women are not fat. I am 5″8 and about 135 lbs.

Myth… Other races are not checking for black women. I think the complete opposite they are checking for us but most of the time we pay them no attention and I have had a few check for me in all races.

Look no man of substance wants to be bothered with one of these entitled black broads end of story. Life is too short for these drama queens. This is why black men and men of all races are finding their wives overseas, behind the counter at Starbucks or nannying. Tiger Woods is the baddest golfer on the planet and married a nanny. He left all these black chicks and their degrees in the dust. And rightfully so!

What did we learn today?

@Oshie is a Little Nervous

@Daywalker

Thanks for the positive message last night, it was truly appreciated.
___________________________________________________

Like I said before, you have to have faith sometimes….You either do, or you don’t…But ultimately communication is what will always be the best thing in any relationship….Happy I could help you, though……

Wanna keep it real…Perfect example of why Black Women are single…Kandi from Atlanta Housewives. That’s ALL I gotta say!!

@ Wordtothe Wise

Or got six motherf***ing kids!!

From Crank That:
@ Str8

You sound a like cocky
————————————-

I am assuming you meant I sound cocky. With that statement, assumption is the only way to go. Clear communication, brotha. Get with it.

This attitude towards women does not help. If you were calling me cocky, you are in the weak woman expectation category. If a woman is strong and self-sufficient she is either a B, cocky, arrogant, ignorant, etc. If I have to become a Stepford wife to be a wife, then I am destined to be the happiest spinster on the block. Anyone who willingly destroys their essence to gain a mate’s acceptance is not, imho, spousal material. If I can’t trust someone to feel secure enough in himself to show me who he really is, how can I trust him at all?

For ya’ll who said it’s about money…It has nothing to do with money. It has to do with a person’s character and whether they have drive and determination and are hard working. I wouldn’t date Lil wayne just like I wouldn’t date the dude flippin burgers at MckyD’s

In the United States, everything has to do with money.

Real Talk

Thats some generalizing bullshit.
I’m a man from Detroit and we have the most single black women of any major metropolis. The reason that black women are not getting married is because of the lack of men who will step up to the plate.
You can say a lot of things about “too much mouth”, or not “letting you lead” but how many black women have you heard of turning down marriage proposals?
Black men have to pop that question. Thats it.

“i think that deep down blk women hate us.”

Honestly, I’ve thought the reverse on more than one occasion. Have you read the comments on this very blog?

@ S.WALK, OMG thank you for that comment. You said it best. Finally, a man with some sense and rational thinking on this thread. God bless you.

@Aunt Viv

“We are the only race of women who are ingrained with the thinking that we need to accept the real possibility that we may end up unmarried, especially if we have achieved a certain level of success. I personally think that’s sad.”

So true. We’ve also taught as black women that we have NO right to have high standards; no RIGHT to demand the best for ourselves; no RIGHT to want to be loved, respected, and treated well, or else we will fall under the debilitating label of the “bitter black woman.”

For example, just today, I had a brother — whom I have strong feelings for — tell me, unprompted that he didn’t think that Lamar Odom would have married Khloe Kardashian had she been a black woman with the same reputation. Although I agreed with him, I told him that his gender afforded him the freedom to make such a statement without the concern of being placed in a box, or have a judgment made about his temperament or disposition.

I feel at times that I’m expected to stay mum about what I see as the blatant disregard, disrespect, and mistreatment of black women — or else I will be seen as a “Sapphire,” and, thus, my opinion will be muted. It’s an unfair burden, and the denigration — I think it’s more akin to abuse — has to stop. The dislike expressed for black women is more often than not a dislike for self, and that is something that sisters have absolutely nothing to do with, nor can they provide a remedy, other than to bypass damaged individuals.

lmao at the replies

thelayoutspot.net

@Sydney

Thanks for your kind words; you’re a very smart and wise person :] and dont worry, I wont stifle my opinions or beliefs for anyone. This ‘successful but single black women’ statistic doesnt scare me one bit; I’ll strive to be successful anyways!

@Pam #2

I can tell you’re very smart and wise yourself. You’re only 17? You show great maturity.

“This ’successful but single black women’ statistic doesnt scare me one bit; I’ll strive to be successful anyways!”

You’re absolutely right — It shouldn’t. Focus on you and what you want out of life, and when the time is right, you’ll meet the person who can love and appreciate you for you. Too many sisters are settling for less than they deserve out of fear, and, by doing so, they rob themselves of true happiness and fulfillment.

LEAVE A MESSAGE>>>Here’s what I said. If you go bad and read (you can read, can’t you) you would read what I said. Here it is in case you missed it:

A GOOD percentage of black men are either in jail, gay, thugs, or if you are a good man, married. That leaves very little left for good sisters to get involved with.

Get it? I didn’t say good black men were in prison. Obviously. Duh! I said a GOOD percentage of black men are…

Again, you and any others would didn’t get it lack comprehension skills. Read and quit being an idiot.

if you go back and read

@Pam #2

Oh, and I’ve posted this saying on here before, but a friend shared an adage with me that was passed on to her from her mother — Be that peach that’s hard to reach.

There may be “boys” who deride you for your beliefs and standards, but their arms were too short to reach you anyway.

Hey WordtotheWise

cats don’t want to admit the truth.
all thumbs. (can’t handle it)

@Sydney

hmmm, i like that! i need to write that down somewhere. thanks! and you’re right.

“There may be “boys” who deride you for your beliefs and standards, but their arms were too short to reach you anyway.”

i like that, too! :]

well im glad we can express our opinion in a civil way. i feel that most blk women like thugs. they go for the street hustler type dudes. im not saying that street hustlers are not cool, or incapable of being good men. it just seems like the “corny, lame, polo shirt, slacks, hard shoes) blk man is seen as weak. when a brother broaden his horizons and is exposed to a different culture, he will never be the same again. so dont be mad when a white, asian, latin, etc… woman snags a good brother. i feel if you didnt want us then it shouldn’t matter who we date. im sorry but blk women do have big mouths and seem to put brothers down. im just glad that all blk women are not like that. some ppl believe that white , latino, asian women knows how to make a blk man feel like matters. no arguing! no fights! no snapping for silly reasons!…a great philosopher once said ” a man needs to feel like a man” …i kno wits a simple quote but it has such a detailed yet simple meaning. i guess what it means that its OK to not win every argument, every fight! its OK TO GIVE IN TO THE OTHER SIDE! thats what ppl do when they are together, when their one whole…we compromise. so ladies! if u get anything from this horribly structured comment, please get this!!! let your man feel like a man and please treat the brother like you know he is good if he’s worth it. because their tons of white, asian, and latin women who can recognize a real man. ty ppl

@Pam #2

LOL, and the next time a boy says, “that’s the reason I date white girls only,” you can smile sweetly and say, “and I wish you all the best.” Kill them with kindness.

“i feel that most blk women like thugs.”

Hmm, maybe you need to broaden your circle of black women? Once again, it’s very easy to generalize if you lack exposure.

“so dont be mad when a white, asian, latin, etc… woman snags a good brother.”

Who’s mad? It’s a free country, no? Date and be happy.

@S. Walk

Do you think that as the value of black women has been diminished, so has their trust of black men? I see men as the protectors of a community, and when that protection has been removed or severely decreased, it causes a chain reaction of damaging repercussions.

@6am

Yes, I know, and he’s one rapper (one of the very few) I do support. I thought his last CD was OK, but I loved “Be.”

From “Real People”:

Black men walking wit white girls on they arms
I be mad at em as if I know they moms
Told to go beyond the surface, a person’s a person
When we lessen our women our condition seems to worsen

sydney

I think that the problem is really up to the black man. Black women and their so-called “attitudes” are a result of the demeaning I spoke of earlier. It falls on the shoulder of the black man to realize that he is the only race of man that will publicly insult and devalue his own woman.

@S. Walk

“Black women and their so-called “attitudes” are a result of the demeaning I spoke of earlier.”

I’ll go back to what I said earlier — when a person is constantly told how unvaluable, unwanted, unattractive, unloved she is, sooner or later, she may start to believe it. She may develop a hard interior as a defense.

“It falls on the shoulder of the black man to realize that he is the only race of man that will publicly insult and devalue his own woman.”

Why do you think this is occurring?

Black men can and should be more selective in their choice of partners, what progressive, employed and educated black man wants a dummy for a mate? She should be on his level or at least getting there.
————————————————

Hey there! This works both ways 6 AM.

When we as educated BW think along the same lines we are told that we need to compromise and lower our standards for the sake of getting a man. SMH.

HEY SYDNEY!!!!

@6am

Oh, by the way, the line about “lessening our women” came from Common, not me. I finally understand where your post came from. Again, those are Common’s words.

HEY TRS!!

LOL, girl, 6 is going off. For what reason, I don’t know.

“When we as educated BW think along the same lines we are told that we need to compromise and lower our standards for the sake of getting a man. SMH.”

Here, here, girl. But, of course, it isn’t seen that way. If you’re an educated, progressive, employed BW who wants a similarly educated, progressive, employed BM, you’re “saddity.”

” there are plenty of good employed and educated black men out there, but you know what TRS, we aint going for any games or bullshit.”

What are you talking about? And, again, why the hostile language? Are you getting defensive?

@ Sydney

If you’re an educated, progressive, employed BW who wants a similarly educated, progressive, employed BM, you’re “saddity.”
———————————————–

AMEN!!

its6amhogetout

I see you advertise yourself as educated, so tell us where you did your undergraduate work at.

I don’t blame women for not wanting to marry, times have changed. These days you can get all the benifits of a marriage without the risk of a divroce so why go through it at all?

I knew I’d never want children so at 23 I went ahead and got a Vasectomy. That instantly saves me from any child support, baby mama dram, etc. More guys should do that.

Black women are known to have the worst attitude throughout the whole planet. They even know it on the Great Wall of China. Everyone knows this except her. She cannot blame black men, she creates the black men she seeks to blame. When black women wake up and understand that the power of the feminine principle(other than putting a cash value on their looks and being a corporate ho), she will know herself and the fruit of her deeds.

Sydney

For example, just today, I had a brother — whom I have strong feelings for — tell me, unprompted that he didn’t think that Lamar Odom would have married Khloe Kardashian had she been a black woman with the same reputation.

Don’t break my heart. I’ve been feeling your style for a minute.

“you know this is the way i talk 97% of the time on here, im just being the voice of progressive black men right now.”

No, I spoke with a “progressive black man” today, and he didn’t use any of the language you just spewed. He spoke intelligently without profanity nor obscenities.

That’s a “progressive black man.”

The voice of progressive BLACK MEN is not a shoe shining, baggage handler at some run-down Hawaii motel.

@Shush

“Don’t break my heart. I’ve been feeling your style for a minute.”

LOL, why do you say that? Again, I’m repeating what a brother said to me, unprompted. He was expressing his opinion on a situation that means nothing to me, but it obviously sparked him to reflect upon it.

You cannot be educated and progressive yet prone to stereotype humans.

Its not even logical.

@6am

“Sydney youre more than smart, and i dont call it bumpin’ heads, i call it a healthy debate.”

It’s not a “healthy debate” when you’re referring to women in vulgar terms and spewing profanity. Tone it down.

Sydney

You saying that you have strong feelings for a brother is what’s breaking my heart.

“@ Sydney you know Im right!”

Actually, no, I don’t. I think you say a lot of things for shock value.

The conversation was much calmer about 10 minutes ago. I really was interested in S. Walk’s insights, lol.

@wordto wise
you just look stupider responding.stop contradicting yourself, a good percentage of black men, in my context means alot of black men. you are still a dumb broad.

TRS

I haven’t really chatted with you before but you seem pretty sane, so I ask, why do you entertain this Uncle Tom.
One day he criticizes “dark heffas”, then he’s “progressive”.

Please tell me its just for kicks.

@Shush

LOL, oh, OK.

@ 6AM

Another thing, TRS and Sydney, why arent you two ladies going into the hood and educating these heffas on a better life? Cant you grab them by their hands and whisper in their ears “youre better than this, dont you want a better life for your children?”
————————————————-

Now Now 6 AM, how can you speak on what I do in my community? I partipate in the Big Sister program, and I know that I have been a positive influence on two young Black women who previously thought that they had zero options to obtain a post-secondary education. I am very proud of this fact.

I understand your point, but even so… You should ask me before you make assumptions about TRS. See, I am a “resident genius” too.

*blows kiss*

im sorry but to say that a large portion of blk women dont gravitate towards thugs is a lie. it has nothing to do with the inner circle. it’s funny how ppl get so defensive. i never said that all blk women do! i never said that! my girl isn’t that way. she corrects me sometimes when i get crazy just like i do to her. so what if she is only half blk. in societies eyes. half blk is blk enough. ask our prez. im in my late 20′z. my circle of friends and associates are varied as a bag of trail mix. its not about coming down on the sisters and brothers. its about being honest. you cant bash brothers and expect them to not respond. i love women of all colors. i love how emotional they r. i love how sweet you can be at times. i love how you pretend to be tough but are so soft and rational.
in my humble opinion. A man is nothing without a strong woman(any color) by his side, behind him, in front, just there in general.. but a woman with no goals(besides fuzkin and having kids) will bring a brother down and cont. the endless cycle that plagues the african american man. LADIES PLEASE BE GOOD TO US CAUSE GOD KNOWS WE WANNA BE GOOD TO U…
PS. JUST BECAUSE A BROTHER ENDS UP WITH A WHITE WOMAN DOESNT REFLECT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT BLK WOMEN. IT JUST MEANS HE FOUND A GOOD WOMEN AND SHE FOUND A GOOD MAN…SORRY ABOUT THE SENTENCE STRUCTURE AND POOR CHOICE OF WORDS

@ S Walk

TRS

I haven’t really chatted with you before but you seem pretty sane, so I ask, why do you entertain this Uncle Tom.
One day he criticizes “dark heffas”, then he’s “progressive”.

Please tell me its just for kicks
————————————————

Hey S Walk!! Nice to offically meet you!

To answer your question, 6 AM is actually quite witty and intelligent. I enjoy debating so when I see the chance, I jump at it.

@ 6 AM

most black women stuck in those neighborhoods would have a years supply of birthcontrol right next to they’re beds?
———————————————-

And any Negro can walk into the corner store and spend 99 cents on a condom.

leave a message

She sounds like a “dumb broad”?
stupider.
Nuff said.

“im sorry but to say that a large portion of blk women dont gravitate towards thugs is a lie. it has nothing to do with the inner circle. it’s funny how ppl get so defensive. i never said that all blk women do!”

Again, what are you basing your observation on? And, yes, it sounds like you’re making a blanket generalization. Change your circle.

Aren’t you the same person who wrote previously that black women don’t want to go to museums, or a sentiment to that effect? It seems like you’re using the same verbiage on a different day.

Sydney

That’s all?

@6am

“now wouldnt you think most black women stuck in those neighborhoods would have a years supply of birthcontrol right next to they’re beds?”

I agree with TRS on this one. Be “progressive” and “progressively” slip on a condom.

TRS

I have to disagree with you, but to each his own.

Sydney and TRS

I have to leave but it was an enjoyable expierence, and now you can see Its6amHoGetOut’s fear of my wrath.
So when he gets “too” out of hand, just mention my name and shut him the hell up.

I’ll be back. Peace.

@ S WALK

Point taken sweetie. I have seen it with my own eyes. Believe me I wouldn’t just say that for no reason.

@ 6 AM

so where do you hide your relaxer kits?
———————————————–

I am not going to lie, this made me burst out laughing. I get my hair done in a salon so I don’t keep those around my house. Secondly, I would not invite anyone to my home if I felt that I would have to hide anything. You a mess!!!

@ 6 AM

its the woman who parts her legs to let that man in bareback, she could always say no………
———————————————–

And he could always use his BIG head instead of his LITTLE one!!!

WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THIS??!! It is not all on the woman!

“Sydney we could have this same argument for the next 5 years and there’d never be a winner, you gotta think luv, its the woman who parts her legs to let that man in bareback, she could always say no………”

*sigh*

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the black woman is the cause of the downfall of the black race, the toppling of dynastics and the rise of despots, the national recession, and, yes, global warming.

Did I cover everything?

Black Men. . .Are responsible for nothing
Black Women. . .Responsible for everything

I gotta go, but it’s been nice chatting with you guys.

Have a good night Sydney, S. Walk, and 6 AM!!

@ 6 AM

I am going to be stunting for you tomorrow so that we can finish this conversation! You best bring that genius to the table so we can rumble!

*dynasties*

@swalk
yup stupider, it’s a word, you think i lie? check it out.

Good night, TRS!

“i do think they paly a major part by having kids they cant afford to raise.”

The children weren’t created by one party.

Would it be so utterly unreasonable to just say, both men AND women are to blame for our ills, and we have to work together to resolve them?

@Shush

LMAO!

Sydney

LOL, *winks*

So, the situation/comment meant nothing to you?

well its simple ladies if u dont have a need. u dont need us,u will compete with us on every level that makes us men. and we wont deal with that

@Shush

I was referring to the Kardashian marriage itself — it’s hard to get upset about a situation that’s absurd. I thought the comment was very insightful.

“im sorry but blk women do have big mouths and seem to put brothers down.”

” must admit that white women tend to treat us better. for rich or for poor, latino women are known for sticking by our side.”

Right. And this doesn’t sound like someone who is angry, scorned, and has a chip on his shoulder.

Got it.

Sydney

Whatever you say, madam.

@Shush

That sounds “elitist,” don’t you think?

Well I guessed that this would turn into a Black woman bashing and lo and behold…out came all the UNEDUCATED, SELF HATING, EURO WORSHIPPING lowlives. Glad I don’t surround myself with THAT. Thank goodness not all Black people buy into this ‘massa’ mentality. Marriage is originally a WHITE INSTITUTION. I am BLACK I do not have to follow their lead. Fvck them. We started this shyt. Divorce is at a high rate for THEM as well and they are also marrying later…so who is following whose lead now? Focus on the COMMITMENT instead of the legalities and everyone will be ok.

PS – House negroes drop dead….you are outnumbered.

Its6am you ain’t changed lmao. Yeah why blame the men who dont’ take care of their kids right? Blame the women who gave birth to the children. Blame them for the natural order of LIFE. Giving birth. You a damn fool and you need to leave before December 31st.

Wit your ol stupid name…them beeches could have a show about dating and marrying a black man when none of them hoes ARE MARRIED TO A BLACK MAN? You the prime example of an uneducated loose lip hating man that these sisters refuse to settle for. LADIES DON’T EVER EVER EVER settle. You worked hard for what you have and you deserve a man who will do the same and work hard for his. They will eventually get it girls….

@sommer its not a illusion its the truth, ive been with all races and its just a fact that the black man gotta do everything for the black women and then get nothing but attitude at the end. but with other races u get treated differently

Sydney

I thought it sounded illiterate.

new orleans state of mind

well im glad we can express our opinion in a civil way. i feel that most blk women like thugs. they go for the street hustler type dudes. im not saying that street hustlers are not cool, or incapable of being good men.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

@ new orleans state of mind

Only issue I have is it seems throught these posts we’re working with two sterotypes.

a. We (black women)only want to date uneducated thugs.

or

b. We won’t lower ourselves to date guys who aren’t educated and/or don’t have a good job.

It’s strange to see such varied view points.

theone2>>>I know you weren’t talking to me, but I’m goin go interject my opinion here. I hear black men make these statements all the time as though women of other races hold the magic key to perfection. Since we are all very limited and we don’t know everyone of every race, I’ll wager to bet that a lot of men of other races experience bad relationships. Therefore, women of other races have failed relationships w/the men of their own race. SOME black men are determined to put other woman on pedestals. Could it be that they just cowtow to you and you are just very controlling. I think that’s it. Frankly I really don’t care because in the long run, you’ll learn the hard way. Good luck.

MARQUIS DE SADE IS SYDNEY

@NEW ORLEANS STATE OF MIND

DONT SWEAT IT BIG HOMEY SYDNEY IS A TROLL CHARACTER CREATED BY MARQUIS DE SASE. HE/SHE SAYS THOSE TYPES OF THINGS ON PURPOSE TO GET PEOPLE GOING—OLE FACTS

LEAVE A MESSAGE>>>Don’t be mad at me because you have the sense of a billy goat. You are clearly a delusional thinker who can’t face the facts of reality. On my worst day, I’m better than you on your best. So just hang it up and stop making yourself look like an idiot. Go read a book, and do not respond to me because you are officially on “ignore.”

yeah i think she likes me

Sydney is BY NO MEAN Marquis. What an insult to her. Marquis wishes he had Sydney’s brains.

“yeah i think she likes me”

LOL, you look and sound like a “street dude.” Not my type. At all. Capiche?

Go back to your Tonight Show.

@WordtotheWise

“If you are still here, you are way too intelligent to correspond with people who refuse to see the truth.”

LOL, this is comical. I’m sorry, but I had to comment on that one.

It’s because a lot of black men make excuses to why they don’t have their sh*t together and other races of women accept it. No job(I’ll give you money), no car(you can drive mine). Sistas are labeled as attitude and to much drama? That’s the voice of a weak man.

Why doesn’t anyone ever mention the same statistics for black men of the same age group and educational level? How many black men in the same socio/economic level are married? Or even still married? or happily married? And how many of those men have been married and have kids only with their wives?

Black women get married and STAY married. Especially black women in interracial relationships. You are more likely to get married and stay married if you marry a non-black man in America-but no one ever talks about that. It’s always some stats about how black women are alone in their 40s because they couldn’t be docile to a man in their 20s and 30s. Bull….

Why are media outlets always putting these so called facts out there as if they prove that black women aren’t good enough to marry? Or are too “manly” and that’s why they aren’t married? Most well educated black women I know either do not want to get married for fear of divorce (and losing half of what they worked hard to build) or they are totally fine being in a long term relationship with no kids. As long as everyone is on the up and up with each other and being adults-who cares who marries whom? Especially if you don’t want kids?

And as far as those comments about crossing the color line-don’t forget it was a black WOMAN and a white man who fought to get interracial marriages legal in all 50 states (Loving v. Virginia). Without them standing up TOGETHER for what they thought was right, we would still be living under anti-miscegenation laws in at least 16 states.

@v
you are WRONG. mlk made it possible for white and black to unite and make interracial babies.

lol@ so many folks thinking the answer is to date outside your race. seems like your settling for less if you ask me. if its a black male you seek ladies than find a black male. really i believe many successful”and i use that term loosely bc what really is successful and what defines it” arent equipped for a relationship. folks get so wrapped up in themselves that they arent relationship material period. so in essence i guess its safe to say blk males arent the problem, the fact that success has taken a backseat to family and its caused a huge disparity in the blk family structure. folks believe 897087 dollars can make a happy home when its further from the truth.(sorry for the rant) basically folks if you want a black man/woman go get what you want and dont settle. bc im 28 married to a black woman and never ever have dated/screwed/talked to/touched a woman outside my race, and never wanted to

both black males/women both decided to forego relationships in order to obtain higher salaries etc. therefore leaving a strain in the pecking order of black males,and women. and im sorry i believe a certain sector of black women got so caught up in “being independant” that their counterparts got the men that theyre looking for now.

Oprah got stedman and gayle… why settle for one when u can have too… i wish i could have 2 chicks..

@Mr. Cool

No-I am not wrong. Check your facts…I did

Historical Map showing in which states interracial marriages were illegal and when
http://www.lovingday.org/legal-map

Loving V. Virginia
http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/historics/USSC_CR_0388_0001_ZO.html

What we’re doing as Blacks is letting our struggle defeat us. Finally, the white man has indoctrinated us with so much poison we can’t get along for a second.
So instead of finding a positive way to cope we start blaming each other and straying from our purpose. The mix generation is growing and the black children are dieing, they’re washing us out. I love the black man but you can never fix problems by running away to another race. Life doesn’t work that way. All black women can’t be bad, you do love your mother don’t you?

The Black family must rise again people. Where is the soul power, the brotherhood, the sisterhood and all the good loving? Remember the good music, the cookouts, block parties and the family reunions? We must stop taking the poison, don’t believe the hype. Yes we can complain, both at the end of the day there’s nothing better than my chocolate sunshine.

It’s hard to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Period.

Question of the Day: Why Are Successful Black Women Still Single???

3 words..Aubrey Drake Graham

Black women are beautiful but most of them don’t know it… the images of beauty are 1. long, silky hair 2. light skin 3. slim, 4. small nose… but some things are changing… like the booty and thick lips… I think once we embrace our beauty then everything will fall into place. There is nothing wrong with being a rich and successful woman but there is also nothing wrong with being single until the man you want to be with comes along… why should anyone settle for fear of being alone and unhappy with some dude? It’s ok to wait and it’s ok to be rich but it’s not ok to be rich and unhappy either so there… life isn’t perfect…

The right man will find you in time… in the meantime… live your best life.

Toussaint Beaupre, wonderful to hear you say it the way you just did!!! i agree with you 100%! two thumbs up! now, where are you so we can all start stalking YOU!!!!!

It’s not about marriage, its about true companionship. Marriage is not for everyone, and successful women don’t want a man “telling” them how they should spend their money…they’re smart enough to know “how” and “what” to spend it on so they make more money. It’s really about living your best life without external interference.

What should we do now? What’s the way forward?

Ask a black dude… complicated stuff! in the meantime the problem still remains… I am pretty decent but i can’t find a man so i guess i am screwed… oh, well… i’ll wait till kingdom come…

Sisimizi I don’t know how old you are,but it took thirty years of life before I found my QUEEN.Love is a very serious and wonderful entity to be in,and like Luther Vandross said,”sometimes love takes a long time”.Just be ready when it comes,and don’t be afraid to love with all of your heart.

Cause they think they the man in the relationship if they make more money- can’t tell ‘em nothing!

What’s wrong with being single?

No one to answer to
No ego to soothe
No explanations about money or whereabouts
No compromise

It’s pure heaven being a single woman.

You took the words right out of my mouth! YES, black successful women are too busy throwing their degrees in a mans face they forget to throw a steak and some mashed potatoes on their plates, they forget to clean the house a little bit, they forget to play dress up at night, they forget to support their men rather than bring them down with the constant nagging and negativity. So what you have a MBA and PHD. A man can’t make love to a piece of paper and damn sure can’t eat it. Women are so busy trying to be successful in the business world and define their role that they forget to be a woman and they forget to define their role at home. There’s nothing wrong with being educated and successful ladies but don’t forget how to be a woman in the process of chasing your dreams.

BM ALWAYS HAVE TO BLAME THE BW FOR HIS SHORT COMING. PLEASE DON’T FORGET THE FACT THAT BW OUTNUMBER BM IN COLLEGE AND WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO DO NOT WORK AND GO ON WELFARE. BM SHOULD GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER AND STOP BLAMING EVERYONE FOR THEIR FAILURES. I HAVE SAID IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN BW SHOULD JUST DATE/MARRY OUT. MY HUSBAND IS WHITE AND I MET MY HUSBAND IN COLLEGE AND HE DID NOT HAVE HAVE TO CHANGE HIS CULTURE TO BE WITH ME. MOST WM THAT DATE/MARRY BW DON’T IMMEDIATELY BECOME BLACK BUT MOST WW THAT MARRY BM ARE GHETTO ACTING THE SAME THING THAT BM SAY THEY HATE IN BW THEY GO OUT AND GET IN WW.

Why is the media so obsessed with Black women being married? is it our job as female human beings to want to be married from the age of 5 dreaming about a dream wedding? just because Black women aren’t getting married as fast as everyone else who gives a sh!t? seriously. There are more things to life than getting married and having babies? are we in the 1950s I don’t think so. It doesn’t mean they are selfish it means they just don’t have time or aren’t ready or don’t want to be. Marriage is not for everyone, not everyone on this earth is going to settle down and pop out kids. Diane Keaton and Al Pacino have never been married EVER. Marriage is not for everyone so get over it. In America 50% of marriages end in divorce so why rush into marriage to end up like everyone else? it’s not always good to strive to be like everyone else. Some women don’t want to marry at the drop of a hat and have it end faster than you can say I DO. I like when they write articles like this it basically puts Black women down for not being married. NEWS FLASH, 50 PERCENT OF MARRIAGE IN AMERICA END IN DIVORCE. Need I say more?

Sorry, but I have to agree with the guys on part of this. A great deal (not all) of black women have a really snotty attitude, and it gets worse once they obtain an education. My little sister is a prime example. She’s always been materialistic, snobby, and just a plain B! Now that she’s got a degree she’s even worse than before, and she acts as if no man is good enough to be with her unless he’s 6ft tall, and wealthy! We don’t get along because I’m the exact opposite. I’m single because my guy cheated on me – but when I’m with a guy I let him be a man. Even though I’m usually more intelligent than the men I attract, I don’t mind. My sister is the type of black woman that thinks I am weak because I like to let my guy be the head of the house. And I don’t care what he earns or where he works, as long as he’s faithful, doesn’t hit me, treats me well, and loves me.