Love and Relationships: Do I Leave or Stay?

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October 21st, 2009

Posted by Bossip Staff

Comments 361 Comments 27335 Views

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Good morning Bossip readers! We have a very interesting plight that needs some attention from you all.

Dear Bossip,

I wanted to know what you and your readers think about this crazy situation I have going on. I have been with my kids’ father for almost 7 years. We have two beautiful girls and I just found out that I’m 6 months pregnant with our first son. When we got the news we couldn’t have been happier! So far, my life sounds good to someone on the outside looking in but it’s not.

Throughout our relationship, my sort of husband (lol) has been a wonderful provider and support system for this family operation we have going on. Me and the kids are very well taken care of and we’ve never wanted for anything. But he’s not the corporate type that gets up and goes to work everyday and he’s not the blue collar worker either. I think you can read between the lines as far as it relates to his “occupation.” I’ve been asking him for years to put some money aside and buy some real estate or open a business or even start a college fund for the kids. But he has not and doesn’t show signs that he’s willing to consider trying to live a life of legitimacy.

I’m so tired of my heart skipping a beat when the phone rings thinking he’s been hurt or worse. Late nights without him home are horrible, and he’s already barely escaped two felony convictions! I don’t know what to do. I love him and he’s a great father and partner, but what can I do to get him to understand that this lifestyle catches up to even the most crafty, when he thinks he’s “too smart for that.” It’s not that I feel unsafe or fear for the safety of my family, but I fear for his and really just need this to end! I can’t bring our third child into the world with this type of stress and anxiety. I’ve gotten to a point where my nerves are shot and I’m an emotional wreck. But what do I do? Do I leave or stay?

Sincerely,

tired, pregnant and confused

Wow. This is a very sticky situation you have. The words “occupation” and legitimacy along with the implications of an abundance of cash flow somewhat confirms that you and your family are years entrenched in the fast life. You also didn’t give any indication that you work or have steady income to contribute to your family operation. Would you be able to sustain your living space and expenses if your spouse threw in the towel and quit what he does or suddenly couldn’t continue? It sounds like this is a lifestyle you may have grown accustomed to, and surely it’s enticing being able to get what you want when you want it and that seems like it would be the hardest part to let go of. With responsibility comes sacrifice, and if you want to live a life without the stresses of your man’s “occupation” you might have to leave, unless he’s willing to turn a new leaf. If you do leave, where would you go? Do you have family you could reach out to? Do you have a stash of funds that you could start over with? It’s best to have a plan if you leave. Just don’t take forever making your exit strategy, do the best you can with what you have.

Your partner can do a number of things to generate income, but without being specific, you’re clearly uncomfortable with the set-up. You can choose to do whatever you want to do and be involved with whatever you want in whatever capacity. You are responsible for your own actions, but the children are victims of circumstance should anything happen to you or your partner. One thing is for sure, your children need both of you to be at your best in order to thrive. You should put your kids first and do what’s best for them, first and foremost, and maybe your man will follow your lead.

Bossip readers, what do you think? Should she stay or should she leave? Please remember to e-mail all feedback and topics and suggestions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com

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Comments

361 Responses to “Love and Relationships: Do I Leave or Stay?”

    tb

    10/21/09, 11:34:am

    Sounds like you like the money that he is bringing in more than you like your life or the life of your kids. You never know who is watching you guys and with all the violence that’s going arounds, one of you guys can get killed because of his “occupation.”

    I say it’s time for you to leave.

    Hannibal

    10/21/09, 11:34:am

    ALRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF U *****S SENT THIS IN?

    No u can't be boyfriend #2!

    10/21/09, 11:41:am

    LEAVE! IF IT’S MEANT TO BE HE’LL COME BACK and be the man he is suppose to be!

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 11:42:am

    @ Hannibal

    LMAOOOOO! You stoopid. Start by thinking about who said they are pregnant.

    First of all you just found out you were 6 months pregnant. That sounds to be a problem within itself. I hope you were eating right and taking care of yourself before. Or else this lifstyle could be the least of your worries.

    With that being said…I am with TB…be out. That life has no boundaries and if he messes with the wrong person it could be you or your children that are harmed. That is not a good look at all. Providing $$ isn’t all that a man needs to do. He needs to protect his family, not put you in harm’s way and with the fast life, most likely he is. You have to think about what is best for your children.

    Should you choose not to leave, then when he is breaking you off some of those stacks, YOU need to be putting $$ away for a rainy day or for the kids college fund. Even if it is only $100 a month. Start with something. That way you have $$ to fall back on should one of those felonies stick.

    And since he already has been arrested and been in court it is only a matter of time before they catch him out there.

    kp

    10/21/09, 11:43:am

    ***** shut the ***** up wit yo naggin *****…he aint gone never b there wit u naggin..how bout u take yo fat ***** to school and get a degree and tk him out the game so he doesnt have to do ***** like that anymore….use ur brain..

    Nique

    10/21/09, 11:44:am

    If you cared anything about your family, you would have left your “husband” after the first child. You wouldnt have made the choice to continue having children with someone whose feedom/life is being compromised everyday. If you cared as much as you say you do, you would have already had this man marry you after 7 years.

    Im not convinced this person is concerned with anything but the lifestyle thats in jeopardy if he is jailed or worse killed. This is the cl*****ic case of the “HOOD MENTALITY” that continues to plague the blk community. Neither of them have anything to show for the last 7 yrs but “guts full of human”.

    chaka1

    10/21/09, 11:45:am

    She can only blame herself for this. She knows her man is a drug dealer and she has been taking advantage of the situation because of the money coming in. It’s clear he’s great in the sack too.

    This guy has been using her and controlling the situation because this relationship is a fantasy. She doesn’t know how to define their relationship. He has been using her for sex and occasional emotional support. Guaranteed he has other women.

    Unfortunately, she has brought children into this nightmare and has ruined their lives as well. How do you explain to your kids that their father is a criminal and their mother is messed up in the head?

    She needs to leave, but we all know she won’t until he’s either incarcerated or killed. You’ll see her on 7 News acting a fool when it all finally goes down.

    I am not going to waste any more time advising her.

    cruzan trini

    10/21/09, 11:45:am

    @ TB

    AMEN!!!

    MY QUESTION TO THE WRITER OF THE LETTER…

    HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO WAIT…UNTIL SOMEONE KICK DOORS YOUR SPOT ROBS YOUR FAMILY AND KILLS YOUR KIDS???

    CAN YOU EVEN PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN IF HE’S ON LOCK? (STUPID *****)

    MAYBE YOU WILL SEE THE LIGHT WHEN ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN FINDS HIS GUNS AND KILLS THEMSELF ACCIDENTLY.

    OR WHEN YOUR CHILD FINDS HIS “SUPPLIES” IN YOUR HOUSE AND INGESTS THEM AND DIES.

    I WISH I COULD SEE THIS ***** SO I COULD SLAP HER INTO REALITY.

    IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOUR SELF, AT LEAST LOVE YOUR CHILDREN YOU SELFISH DUMB ***** HOE!

    tasty t

    10/21/09, 11:46:am

    the only thing i can tell you, is that you see he is not willing to stop being a street pharmacist and you said yourself that he is not willing to invest the money in your kids future or your future, so what is that telling you, cause if he get caught you still gonna end up with nothing, there is no money being saved or put to the side by your own admission, my question to you what are you doing to provide for your family when the day come, and trust me it’s gonna come. you have to have your own life just in case, as for me if i was in that situation i would of been in school getting some kind of degree, you guys have been together for 7 years and you could of had some type of degree under your belt for when the day comes, so just dont put this all off on him you know what he is doing and again by your own admission, so you should of been thinking about the future you see he is not, so if you end up in poverty you did it to yourself. there is no way i would be with a man and dont benefit from it especially if he is pulling the money in, its not about him it’s about you and your children and you should of had your head straight in this situation your man is thinking about him right now he is caught up in the life style, and you should of been caught up in educating yourself with that money so when the time comes and he is gone you and your children will have a good life…..wake up girl dont be stupid

    Whaaaa

    10/21/09, 11:46:am

    First, prayer is needed. Secondly, you can’t change someone else, you can only change yourself. If in fact your change causes a change in them or not, you must be committed to what is best for your life and the lives of your children. Consider what example you are setting for them. If a change is truly what you seek, then it begins with you.

    coi

    10/21/09, 11:46:am

    i cant say that i have any sympathy for you…i’m sure he was selling drugs when you first got with him and yet you still chose to have unprotected sex with him creating three children who will undoubtedly have to watch their father go to prison (he will be caught at some point) and will grow up fatherless. before you had your first child with him, or when you discovered that you were pregnant with his first child why didn’t you think to discuss this then with him? and if you did and he never actually acted on any of your ideas why did you stay and keep making babies? why didnt you take some money that he has given you over the last seven years and put it away for your children? you knew all of the dangers of this relationship when you went into it, and yet you still stayed…your first mistake was when he told you i sell drugs and you stayed…everything about your letter to bossip screams ignorance/selfishness/etc…the hype of him being a thug got you to be with him, lay with him, and birth his kids…and i have to say you are pathetic because i’m almost 95% sure that when he is locked up (you know the cops are building up their case now to get him 2 felonies were let go come on the cops are on it) you will be on welfare trying to support those three children with my tax dollars!

    Re

    10/21/09, 11:48:am

    No offense, but why are you having multiple kids with a man that you are not married to? One…okay, accidents happen.

    You’re letting this man get everything out of you that he could get out of marriage. He doesn’t believe he has to change anything, I’m sure, at this point. I mean, ya’ll are shacking up and everything?

    The point is, that if you witheld some things and saved them for marriage, he’d probably think twice about it before deciding he’s comfortable with his life right now. I wish you the best girl, but if you’re having a hard time NOW….?

    Tony Redds

    10/21/09, 11:49:am

    Save all the money you can and get your carreer goals together cuz is ***** is gonna get bagged any day now!!

    Nique

    10/21/09, 11:49:am

    @EVERYONE THATS POSTED

    I AM CO-SIGNING SO HARD TO EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU THAT HAVE POSTED SO FAR! GLAD TO KNOW THERE ARE SOME PPL OUT HERE WITH SOME DAMN SENSE!!

    awakened

    10/21/09, 11:50:am

    I dig the fact she fears for his safety…however definitely consider the childrens FIRST because right now you are thinking FOR them…literally…your actions depict to them what a life should be if they see you most of the time…perhaps you should approach him with sincerity and options well thought out as well.

    This isn’t the hardest of situations but it is complicated. I don’t feel leaving when the love is strong is necessary especially if the sacrifice is “family” in return for “safety”…

    I like to collect a nice perspective from outside reliable sources but then I tap into prayer and get a response that’s pleasing and satisfying.

    k. Joy

    10/21/09, 11:52:am

    She is not going anywhere because she has nothing going on for herself. The guy is not the problem she is, why would you choose a lifestyle that destroys your people and the community. You are not able to support yourself or your kids. I hear you saying what he should be doing with the illegal money. What have you did over the last 7 years, you probably do not even have a bank account. You have to start by loving yourself, if you did you wouldn’t need other people comments you would no what to do out of common sense, if not for yourself for your children. What message are you gone to teach your son, that it’s o’k to do illegal thing for the sake of money. As parents we need to teach our children by example we need to teach them that you get up every monrnig and run a business, go to work, or go to school, if they don’t see their parents doing that how can we expect them to grasp that. Young Lady you have to do a lot of soul searching, when you let go of the fear of being a responsible mother and providing for your children. You might want to start with self Love.

    H2O ***THE WATER BOY***

    10/21/09, 11:52:am

    Right on Tony R. she should prepare for the worst…

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 11:54:am

    IF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW HE “WON’T WIN” IN THIS GAME…YOU NEED TO BE SMART ENOUGH TO GO YOUR OWN WAY…WHAT HAPPENS IF YOUR BABIES HEAD IS BLOWN OFF OF HIS/HER SHOULDERS??? THEN YOU GOING TO BE ACTING A FOOL, BLAMING THE NEIGHBORHOOD, ETC. WHEN REALLY IT IS YOUR “HUSBAND” THAT PUT YOU IN THAT SITUATION.

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 11:55:am

    Read the book ‘The Coldest Winter Ever’, your azz just might end up like Winter’s mother with your daughters ending up like Winter. The lifestyle ALWAYS catches up to you and it’s never pretty…

    SHEENA

    10/21/09, 11:55:am

    EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM AND YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN’S SAFTY. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU GUYS BECAUSE OF A DEAL GONE BAD. AND IF BUSINESS IS BOOMING THEN THERE ARE ALWAYS HATERS LOOKING TO ROB,STEAL AND EVEN KILL TO BE IN YOUR MANS POSITION. I DONT SEE HOW YOU GO INVOLVED WITH HIM AND THIS LIFESYTLE. MY DUDE USE TO LIVE THAT LIFE AND I TOLD HIM IF HE EVER WENT BACK TO IT IM GONE. I TOLD HIM LISTEN YOU DO NOT HAVE NO RIDE OR DIE ***** AND IM NOT COMING UP TO *****ODY’S JAIL AND HE GOT THE MESSAGE. FAST MONEY IS GOOD BUT IT DONT LAST FOREVER THAT TYPE OF LIFESTYLE CAN ONLY LEAD TO TWO THINGS AND THATS GETTING LOCKED UP OR GETTING KILLED. YOU DONT WANT TO BE DRAGGING YOUR KIDS UP TO PRISON DO YOU? I SAY GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM EITHER YOU AND HIS KIDS OR HIS LIFESTYLE. IF HE PICKS HIS LIFESTYLE THEN LEAVE HIM ASAP YOU DONT WANT TO PUT YOUR KIDS THROUGHT THE BULL *****.

    maxamillion

    10/21/09, 11:56:am

    Erykah Badu – Otherside of the game

    Leave!

    awakened

    10/21/09, 11:56:am

    Planning and Orgainizing is what keeps a family strong no matter of the career…

    A. Plans, Goals, Ambitions (Have Y’all Discussed?)
    B. Accomplish Things Together
    C. Sincerity…If I have been with a gentleman for 7 years then he believes what got is what keeps me…he won’t take me serious to ask for change and stay…?!?! Discuss options and healthy and comfortable alternatives..

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 11:57:am

    Why is she complaining now after 7 years?

    You know the time to have marinated over these issues was several years ago, not now. The die has been cast.

    She’s going to have to play with the hand that she dealt herself. Not many options left.

    Samantha

    10/21/09, 11:57:am

    First of all let’s get it straight he is not a great father. He is a drug dealer with kids. If he gets kills tonight your kids will not even get a social security check because he has not held a job. Not only that, but everyday that he goes out to sell drugs he put not only his life in jeopardy. why are you continually laying up bringing babies into this sick and sad situation. No good can come out of this life style because end the end it’s going to catch up with him and he will either go to jail or get killed on the streets take your pick. I pray to God you’ve been smare enough put a way some money and have gotten and education because your going to need it. You need to get an exit strategy for you and your kids and get the hell out while you can.

    Samantha

    10/21/09, 11:59:am

    First of all let’s get it straight he is not a great father. He is a drug dealer with kids. If he gets kills tonight your kids will not even get a social security check because he has not held a job. Not only that, but everyday that he goes out to sell drugs he put not only his life in jeopardy but also yours and those babies. why are you continually laying up bringing babies into this sick and sad situation. No good can come out of this life style because in the end it’s going to catch up with him and he will either go to jail or get killed on the streets take your pick. I pray to God you’ve been smart enough put a way some money and have gotten and education because your going to need it. You need to get an exit strategy for you and your kids and get the hell out while you can.

    Breeze

    10/21/09, 11:59:am

    You are the only lady that I know of involved in that lifestyle who isn’t secretly stashing money. Maybe you are but I am unclear about that from your letter. Save some money (or stash)- then leave and go get educated/trained. Depending on men leads to poverty. A woman should always have a plan or a hustle to take care of her and her children.

    awakened

    10/21/09, 11:59:am

    Listen she loves him…

    He is the father of her children

    So leaving isn’t the best option and there’s more than one in this scenario…she’s not new to this but true to this.

    rudeashell.com

    10/21/09, 11:59:am

    If he’s all of these things, then I’m SURE he can find a job that is legal that will appreciate all his fine qualities. I wouldn’t stay; deals go bad, family members are hurt *and worse*; and you guys are nothing but *****s-sitting ducks in this situation. IF you love your children, you’ll leave him alone-because the road he’s headed down only leads to two things: DEATH or PRISON. You seriously need to get your priorities in order. Your children and their well-being comes first. Last I checked, AINT NO 401(K) from the block, ain’t no PENSION from the corner, and damn sho ain’t no medical benefits from the game. Do what YOU gotta do for your kids. Cuz he is NOT gonna stop. He’s enjoying the lifestyle that his “occupation” affords him. Don’t let you and your children be the ultimate price for his lavishness.

    SHEENA

    10/21/09, 11:59:am

    @COI – I FEEL YOU YOU ARE TELLING THE TRUTH ***** THATS MY TAX DOLLARS TOO.

    3LuvMe*

    10/21/09, 12:02:pm

    how are u findin out that ur 6 months pregnant?? so for tha las 5 mnths u didnt notice any changes in ur body? or mayb it was meant to b written “im 6 months pregnant wit our 1st son” anywho, i think that bein a mother you are goin to hav to make those sacrifices to better your family. i didnt get if it was stated that she was working or not, but mayb you shud start to get plans togethr for u and ur family, b/c we kno all gd things com to an end. and i agree wit wat Whaaa said,that u cant change another person, only urslf and ur change will bring tha change in that person, *sometimes*, but prayers to you and ur family..

    awakened

    10/21/09, 12:02:pm

    In order to be taken serious you have to show effort…

    can’t ask someone to change and not compromise a show of change on your end.

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 12:04:pm

    If she leaves him, she will be stuck with taking care of three children by herself.

    If she stays with him, she will be stuck with taking care of three children by herself.

    If he goes to jail or gets killed, she will be stuck with taking care of three children by herself.

    Whatever happens, she’s going to be taking care of three children by herself.

    Just A Thought

    10/21/09, 12:06:pm

    Not to sound harsh but WTF were you thinking? A better question Where you thinking? You knew the mission was dangerous when you took it!

    You had to know what type of lifestyle came with his “occupation”. Self-preservation is the golden rule. You must love yourself first and foremost. If you do not love yourself you will always allow folk to use you as a doormat. A peace of mind beats the brakes off of anything!

    IF, he making all this money to invest in real estate, set up college funds, etc then you need to stack of some cash for you and your children. He must not give you any money, or you a stay home and he dishes cash out to you. Whatever the case maybe the song says, “God bless the child that got his own”. This one is no brainer for me. Plan your work, work your plan. 1. Pray, 2. Fall in love with you. 3. Look at your children and realize they deserve better. 4. Get enough money for you and your children to start a new and better life 5. Work on making you a new and improved woman. 6. Tell him your plan, pick your leave date and stick to it. 7. Don’t let fear paralyze you. You can not and will not soar like an eagle when you hang with turkeys — cause turkey can’t fly!!

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 12:09:pm

    awakened

    Listen she loves him…

    He is the father of her children

    So leaving isn’t the best option and there’s more than one in this scenario…she’s not new to this but true to this.
    _________________________________

    I guess if she loves him and he’s the father of her children, she’d better learn the drug running business so she can take up where he left off when he bites the big one or has to do some serious time.

    I don’t understand why she’s thinking about this now.

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 12:10:pm

    I’m sorry but this brotha sounds as damaged as they come. It’s unfortunate that she appears to have deliberately chosen to have children with this man without the legal protections of marriage. This woman should take her kids, and GO!

    drenk

    10/21/09, 12:10:pm

    @ ALL POSTERS

    this is such a bull***** fake ***** letter, the bossip staff decided to grab a couple “Dr. Abby” letters and tear a few pages out of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and there ya go

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:10:pm

    First thanks for sharing your story I’m 39 years my ex husband used to be a street pharmacist but I still had my own job and I have not dated a street pharmacist since…I was lucky and smart enough to leave him before they bust in what used to be our home…I could’ve been found guilty of all that he was charged with-Have you considered that…everything is not kosher for you either if he get’s caught and then you are foolish by putting this email out there becuz when they do come in and seize property they will find this nice little tidbit you wrote which shows you knew what he was into and they will hold you reponsible as well…I’m not going to tell you to leave becuz you have to decide what I will tell you is that you may want to make certain you have a back up plan for your kids if he does get caught cuz they will definitely try to prosecute you also…what’s wrong with you putting money aside or investing into real estate are you helpless or pregnant???

    SmeLn TruBle

    10/21/09, 12:11:pm

    This is not God’s plan for you sweets..either he live righteous or u get out of the dangerous game asap!!

    shawn jones

    10/21/09, 12:11:pm

    Ok, stupid why don’t you go out and get a job or open a business. If you don’t have a degree or skill, which I’m pretty sure you don’t, go back to school and get an education or skill. In the end, you will GET exactly what you deserve. DUMMY!

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 12:11:pm

    ^^not going to be easy to go, I realize that. This woman is in a lose-lose situation.

    Atl_Finest

    10/21/09, 12:12:pm

    Having babies by a drug dealer. SMDH! When he is killed or jailed (he will be), then where will that leave her. She will just be another broke ***** baby mama in da hood. Next…………..

    misslawyerladii

    10/21/09, 12:12:pm

    Not trying to be all in your business but since its out here why havent you tried to put money aside and do these things for the children if you know he wont. Or save some and buy your own real estate. You have an obligation to yourself and your children to better yourself. Reading between the lines with his occupation it may come to a time where you cannot take it. Good luck

    I'm Somebody

    10/21/09, 12:15:pm

    Your children come first. Nothing else not you or your selfish man.

    He does not care for the well being of your family. He is to caught up in the fast life.

    You need to leave him and protect your children.

    Hmmm...

    10/21/09, 12:15:pm

    Wow.
    I Love My Boyfriend. He Was Doing Stuff Like That.
    Always In The Streets.
    I Was Always Worrying About Him Constantly, But I Let Him Know That You Have Got To STop. We Don’t Have Kids Or Anything, We Been Together For 2/12 Years. I Let Him KNow If He Didn’t Stop Then I Would’ve Had To Let Him Go.
    Her Man Does Not Have His Priorities Straight. I Understand What She Saying Though, Cause Everybody Gotta Eat, But At Least Put Some Money Away, Knowing His Situation.
    You Need To Let Him Know It’s Your Family Or These Streets.
    I Don’t Know About You, But I Love My Man && If Something Were To Happen To Him I Would Be Devastated.
    Let Him Know W*****uhp.

    LilmissDiva

    10/21/09, 12:19:pm

    Wow! Sad to say but I would have to leave. Now days people have no regard for women and kids. If they want to send a messgae they will kill you and the kids. Don’t be selfish you need to think about them kids if not yourself.

    Re

    10/21/09, 12:20:pm

    I know it wasn’t supposed to be funny, but Old Timer’s comment made me laugh…the irony.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 12:23:pm

    When saddness is overwhelming then very hard choices follow, never be afraid to speak your mind because that is all you have is your word.. At first it was all about you and his life but now you have more lives to consider… He his choices hurt that much and you have expressed that with no solutions then you have to do something that you have never done before and maybe that is leaving, you know your household and the option that you have…

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 12:24:pm

    So sad. Typical pathetic black ***** knows that her man isnt ***** but continues to have children by him. Really? You have been with this man for 7 years and you guys arent married but are about to have your third child with him?

    This is why I cant respect black *****es. This is why I think they should be implanted with a birth control device on their 14th birth day.

    Now the next time any of your black *****es in here says anything to me about my criticisms of black *****es remember this, “I’m so tired of my heart skipping a beat when the phone rings thinking he’s been hurt or worse. Late nights without him home are horrible, and he’s already barely escaped two felony convictions! I don’t know what to do.”

    And remember the ***** has 3 kids by this *****h.

    And the next time I suggest that you *****es are too stupid to choose a partner remember this, “I love him and he’s a great father and partner…”

    This is the type of ***** you *****es love and think are great father material and good partners.

    Where the ***** is the Taliban when you need them. All yall need to be under house arrest and waiting for your arranged marriages.

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 12:27:pm

    @ drenk,
    “this is such a bull***** fake ***** letter, the bossip staff decided to grab a couple “Dr. Abby” letters and tear a few pages out of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and there ya go”
    _________________________________________________
    **DEAD** Didn’t think about that.

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 12:28:pm

    Damn, everyone is responsible for their own situations. You married a dopeboy, and now you want him to give the game up? Nah mommy, it don’t work like that! Should’ve had him putting the dope down before you took your vows.
    Not to mention, that life holds so much allure… If he hasn’t stopped in all this time, (after marriage and 2.5 kids) I say he’s not going to. Your best bet, get your education, if you are relying on this ***** to take care of you (let him pay for school, since he’s got it like that) so that you can take care of your OWN, starts stackin’ what you can of what he gives you, and move on to plan b. All too familiar with this one, and you are right, those sleepless nights are a *****!

    shelia

    10/21/09, 12:28:pm

    GIRL GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. YOU DON’T NEED THIS MAN HE IS A LOOSER WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS GUY. GET OUT NOW. HE IS NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 12:29:pm

    Someone tell me this ***** wasnt a good candidate for tubal ligation?

    Lisa Vee

    10/21/09, 12:30:pm

    Her first mistake is saying her husband…thats the problem….HE IS NOT!!!!!!!!! Stop trying to make him act as he is one. Know your role and play it…if not get a NEW role.

    Magenta Johnson

    10/21/09, 12:30:pm

    DEAR DONKEY : you have stupidly gotten pregnant (3) times for a hustler….this fool has never even filed a W2… what in the world is your family going to rely on when he can’t hustle anymore… there won’t be any social security benefits for neither you nor him. As a mother your love for him should come third right after your love for the children and your own self love…. STOP BEING A DONKEY !!! Close ya legs, take ya kids and go ! Maybe you can visit him when he gets locked– maybe( I wouldn’t!) Dudes kill me thinking they are too good to work yet steady bringing kids into this world — only for the good government to have to take care of eventually. He is a lazy bum or as the old school heads might say a slick – a** N**** ! He ain’t nothing and ain’t trying to be nothing. Cut ya loses and get YOUR life together for you & your kids…at this point he should be a non entity.

    PS do you even work ? or were your really comfortable with the lifestyle he was providing for you with his “job”? On the real you don’t have anybody to blame but yourself…what happens if you get the kids *****ed away by child protective services — again DONKEY, GET YA LIFE RIGHT !!!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:32:pm

    @Kigali
    You are the most uneducated, ignorant dialect person I’ve come across in a long time—Damn reading your comment made me realize you are no better than her drug dealing boyfriend in fact I’m starting to think he got one up on you cuz your ***** is FIRED with all them “Black *****es” I guess your momma is a “black ***** also…or is she just a ***** either way don’t blame us cuz your dad *****ted on you and her…

    Magenta Johnson

    10/21/09, 12:32:pm

    alrighty then — you are fine !!

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 12:33:pm

    Oh, I thought he was her HUSBAND! lol! Since he’s not, in that case – LEAVE, STUPID! lol…. But you won’t leave, because you like the life and the lil bit of security that it brings you… You are putting your kids in danger, not to mention yourself! Being a ride-or-die chick is SO not cute…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:34:pm

    @Kigali
    She love her children so no she doesn’t need tubal ligation at least she see’s she needs to do better…but um why didn’t someone stop you from being born cuz you are a very hateful ugly individual..You need prayer in your life and lots of love which you must not have cuz anyone who is loved does not have as much as hate in them as you do…

    jj

    10/21/09, 12:34:pm

    *****, you ain’t *****. If you gave a ***** about your kids, you wouldn’t be putting them in a situation where they could be killed, hurt, kidnapped (remember that boy in Las Vegas who was *****ed because of his Grandfather’s drug business) or have to watch both of their parents get arrested. Yeah, worthless *****, I said both. You are just as legally responsible for the ***** that goes on in your own home. And, don’t even try all that “ain’t ***** going on at the house”, because most people know better. If you are any type of REAL mother, you wouldn’t even have to ask what you should do. The only thing you’re thinking about is that you ain’t got ***** without his money, cause you know you don’t have a job, savings, anything to support yourself. Get a job, lazy hoe.

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 12:36:pm

    @jj – cosign 100%

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:36:pm

    @Magenta
    Alrighty pic is Method Man : )

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 12:37:pm

    @Magenta Johnson – Thank you baby, my husband thinks so! lol! But I’m *****uming you are talking about that fine ***** man in my gravi? It’s Method Man…

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 12:38:pm

    I was in this situation a few years ago, but came to the same conclusion that has been pointed out on this site: There is no pension for D-boys. No 401k, no benefits. Pretty much either two possible outcomes. Death or incarceration. If he is half as smart as he thinks he is, then he should’ve already had a plan to get out BEFORE them boys was watchin. This is how I resolved it. I told my lazy ***** spoiled chick (who was that way because of me) to get off her ***** and bring some money in if she really wanted me to quit. She did, and has been working ever since and also going to school. As for me, I found a job making a middle six figure salary and have not even thought about going back. The fast life can become addictive, but what comes fast goes even faster. Since he is the one that doesn’t have any plans of quitting anytime soon, either due to the fear of not being able to provide for his family legitimately (the issue that I had), or simply the fact that he loves the “fast” life so much that he can’t see clearly, give him an ultimatum. He stops, or he loses the people that really matter. Tell him to think about how hard it would be for all of you to have to talk to him through some gl***** or bars. It’s a hard thing to walk away from sometimes, especially if you are good at it, but he has to learn to use that thing between his two ears for some good. You get back what you send out. For me, the hardest thing to deal with was people’s family begging me to stop answering my phone and “taking care of” either them or someone that they loved. I was a puppet for the devil for quite some time, and in retrospect it was a very foolish and enlightening chapter in my life. I wish you guys the best, but we all know the reality of the situation. And to those of you bashing this young lady, you should be ashamed of yourselves. She was asking for help, so why call her out of her name? I’m sure all of you have important females in your lives and would not like it very much for someone to refer to them as “stupid *****es”, etc. I am the proud father of two beautiful little girls and a husband of 7 years and find it truly disheartening the lack of respect our culture has for women. We all have our imperfections, so why become so hostile towards someone reaching out?

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 12:39:pm

    Reading between the lines and cracking the code like Steve Harvey:

    This chick likes her lifestyle and wants to stay in it but wants SOMEONE to validate her actions by finding a ‘positive’ in it. She already knows the stuff that everyone on this board is saying, so it doesn’t need to be said again. When people are this dumb they are looking for VALIDATION for their stupidity. This idiotic chick has brought three kids into this situation because she’s likely lazy and enjoys being his ‘kept’ woman. Writing this letter was a waste of time because she already knows what she needs to do but doesn’t WANT to do it!…easy…

    YOUUUUUUU

    10/21/09, 12:39:pm

    you knew his “job” when you met him, when you had baby #1 and baby #2 and here comes baby #3. why waste bossip’s time asking this when you know you are staying no matter what? all he is saying and you are letting him say byhis actions is that you and your kids are not worth him trying to be a real man. he needs to get two or three jobs if that is what it takes to match his current “job.” you can get a job too. i have kids and work. find a reliable daycare or babysitter or work opposite shifts. you probably collect welfare too right, since what can either of you file taxes about? do not write to bossip and say HE does this i told HIM to do this HE wont this. it is YOU who stays YOU who has issues YOU YOU YOU!

    coi

    10/21/09, 12:40:pm

    jj

    *****, you ain’t *****.
    ***************************************************
    lmao that line had my crackin up!!!!!! i needed a good laugh before cl*****!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:41:pm

    @Caramel Cat
    Great observation cuz she never mentioned her job and if she had one was around folks outside the hustler’s circle she would notice how whack that lifestyle is…

    Magenta Johnson

    10/21/09, 12:41:pm

    LOL SORRY ALRIGHTY THEN… NO LESBO !! LOL

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 12:42:pm

    Ppl kill me acting like all yall lives are perfect and everyone on these blogs were married before kids, college educated and well off, GTFOH then quick to judge someone else, its one things to state your opinion its another to start name calling and judging this women because she didnt make the best decisions when choosing a mate career wise!!!!

    Baby girl, this comes from someone that has experienced this 1st hand, I recently got out of a long term relationship with a street dude, and believe me it wasn’t easy, but it was something that had to be done. I started that relationship at 19 and it just ended this yr and I’m now 24. As you grow and mature as a person you start having higher standards and expectations from your mate. I really grew tried of the constant worrying and wondering if he was ok. I also started to evaluate my life and relationship, after making a list of the good verse the bad I had my answer right in front of my face. I weighted the bad, he could be killed, jailed, or hurt at any given moment or I could be harmed from a street deal gone bad, then I started to think how can I marry or bare children with a man and not even be able to feel secure in the fact that he may not be around to raise them in a few years, or be free to help me raise them, then I thought about the message he and I would be sending our children if he continued to remain in the streets, I thought about the fact that I get up everyday work 2 jobs and work on my own business when I get home to only watch him make fast money that goes faster than you make it, I thought of my home being raid, my accts frozen until then determined where the money came from and how I got it. I thought about how it seemed like the streets where his main chick and I seemed to be some sideline hoe and realized I was worth so much more and deserved some much better for myself and knew I was missing out on a good man wasting away my youth with a man wit no plan, lack luster goals and going no where fast. So I packed his things, changed my locks and havent looked back since, I have had some ruff days but overall it was the best decision I could have man. Im happier and more blessed then I’ve ever been and I got tired of always being worried and tensed.. Plus I have a new friend now that owns a small business, shares goals and dreams that I have and most importantly is on MY LEVEL.. I said all this to say, life is what you make it and if your down and can’t take anymore then get up no matter how hard it may be and leave, if he really loves you and his family he’ll realize a change needs to be made and began to make those changes. If that doesn’t work, children are a blessing and if you have to move on a real man that loves you will love your children as well. Lastly, be start don’t wait for him to start your children college funds get the money from him and do it yourself, also get you a job save all that money and live off his income only as if you don’t work, get a bank acct in your name only and keep it separate that way if something goes wrong you wont fall flat on your face and can also move on when its time. Your children are like sponges they are paying attention to everything you do and will equate that with how they should be in life and relationships. Stand up and say not anymore if you’re really done!!! But whatever you do don’t keep waiting around until the bottom falls out…. From one sister to another love God and yourself first if a man cant get right then he needs to get left.

    num1dominicano

    10/21/09, 12:43:pm

    what’s wrong the *****es nowadays….they’ll go through anything to keep a man..

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 12:44:pm

    SORRY FOR THE ESSAY =)

    HorribleMother

    10/21/09, 12:44:pm

    you must government funds for health insurance for your kids then too? hardworking peoples’ tax money is paying for you to keep popping kids out. you probably get welfare. you are a piece of trash and all three of your kids will grow up to know the truth. like when you bring your mom or dad to school for career day? hmm what will you lie about then? when your daughters seek the same type of trashy man? hmm as long as the money is on right? your lil son will grow up to be the same? hmm what will you say then? you owe everything to your kids because you chose to bring them in this world and you owe nothing to your so called man and your vagina who is stuck on him. get a brain, get a job, grow up. FUNNY you say your life and your kids arent in danger? So he is the best at his illegal work and you think *****odyyyy will ever be mad at him or find out where you all stay? You are stupid! Why do people need license to drive but can just pop out kid after kid?

    Jazmine

    10/21/09, 12:44:pm

    I hate when women do this shyt!! You met the ni**a while he was slangin and bangin and now you expect him to stop?!?!?!? Why, b/c you’re wifey now and want a family? Because you have those kids? That’s not going to make a d-boy stop! If anything you popping out baby after baby is going to kick his hustle game up a notch because now he has more mouth’s to feed. I’m not saying you may not work and contribute to the household but I know big daddy is the bread winner. And what type of men do you think your daughters are going to go after? Not to say that their dad isn’t a good guy b/c I’m sure he is. I’ve heard this story one to many times and most of these dude would give their right arm for their kids and want to provide for them BUT…..how’s it going to feel when your little girls run in mommies footsteps and hook up with the dopeman? Better yet, what example do you think your unborn son is going to learn??? I wont tell you to leave or stay but I will tell you that from the way it sounds, your man will be a d-boy until he can’t anymore. He has no intentions of stopping his hustle. If you can live with it, go for it. If not move around. As women that thing we really want the most is SECURITY. Money falls under that blanket but security comes from all kinds of things. Right now you have the cash but no security. I’m sure you’re worried about your families safety (yours, your man’s, your kid) as well as other things. Really think this over, REALLY. And if I sound like I was coming off harsh in the beginning I apologize. Just take this from a sista who knows what she’s talking about. The choice is yours.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:44:pm

    Thanks for that Illuminated One…

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 12:46:pm

    @Choco

    It’s easy. I mean, I’m sorry, some stuff is just common sense. Her writing this letter is like a woman writing a similar letter that is with a man that is abusing her. YOU KNOW THAT THE SITUATION IS VOLATILE, THERE IS NOTHING GOOD THAT CAN COME FROM STAYING IN IT. She likely is able to get expensive clothes, weaves, jewelry, drives luxury cars and can buy her babies expensive baby gear (smh at folks like this) and she likely doesn’t have to work so she’s ‘living in the lap of luxury’ in her small, feeble mind. But, she sees the obvious likely outcome and wants some dumbazz to come along and tell her it will all be ok…birds like this make my ***** tired….

    Jazmine

    10/21/09, 12:48:pm

    @ I’m Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    Baby you better preach!!!! The most important thing said in your post is if you decide not to leave….when he breaks you off….intead of tricking all that money off at the mall or club. YOU be a woman and put money up for you and yours! I wouldn’t even tell his a** about it. The best person to look out for you is YOU! Again, been there, done that, seen it to many times!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 12:48:pm

    Also, put options in his head that will supplement his current income while at the same time you pursue options to better yourself. Buying into some existing franchises can be a very lucrative and fulfilling decision. That way you guys can still enjoy a financially comfortable lifestyle without the worries.

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 12:48:pm

    @Choco,

    If she loved her children she would have found a decent, law abiding, hard working non drug dealing man, married him and then had kids. That ***** didnt love her children she loved that thug ***** that was in her mouth a lot more.

    And then when these ***** goes to jail and she is really be herself she is going to come on Bossip talking about *****s aint *****, I am going to get me a white man or I am going to a a black man that I ignored all my life because I thought he wasnt hood enough for me.

    Heard this ***** time and time again. ***** her and ***** you.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:49:pm

    @Caramel
    It is irritating becuz she also fails to mention her age and I wasn’t have that at 23 when I left my x hubby who did that ***** for the majority of our relationship I still worked so she could wise up if she desired I knew back then and this is when everybody was on that it was a long-term career and if he wanted it to be I was out…glad to say he learned his lesson without doing real time and works so people can change they just have to want to…

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 12:50:pm

    @Illuminated One

    That was very well written, I have respect for a man of your caliber! Go head =)

    too short

    10/21/09, 12:50:pm

    OMg, You mena to tell me you have kids by a drug dealer, Just nasty, and sweetie I think its time to grow up

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:51:pm

    @Kigali
    You could never ***** me boo believe that *****…and you are so naiive claiming she don’t love her kids I bet your mother is the Pillar of Perfection right…hell no you are wrong I can tell by the way you address females that you don’t love your mother…now see I silly my generalization sounds-you don’t love your mom cuz you call females *****es but you do love your mother don’t you-shut up and go read!

    Infinit45 (I love a women in heels)

    10/21/09, 12:51:pm

    Stay where you are because you’re obviously trapped. Be proud you set yourself up for the okeedoke. Oh, and he isn’t going to let you leave. You need to retract your letter and lay in the bed you made.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:52:pm

    @Caramel
    meant to say not a long term career…

    Yezzurr

    10/21/09, 12:52:pm

    Seven *****ing years and now she wants to do some life *****essment bull ***** GTFOH… Do you have a job ? Are you bringing home any money ? What are you doing to feed and cloth those babies ?

    Baby don’t ask for answers when your part of the problem….

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 12:52:pm

    Anytime Choco!-)

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 12:52:pm

    @mzprettylady,

    WE judge others when we know that what they are doing is evil. Thats how grown ups are.

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 12:54:pm

    Alrighty Then…

    Damn, everyone is responsible for their own situations. You married a dopeboy, and now you want him to give the game up? Nah mommy, it don’t work like that.
    ________________________________

    LOL!! Damn straight, it don’t work like that.

    You’re not talking about the run of the mill business here.

    When one of your drug customers don’t pay, you can’t send his mf account to a collection agency and have them call him several times a day asking him in one of those Indian accents if he can make a payment today.

    You gonna have to shoot somebody to let them know you mean business.

    Ultimately, it’s jail or death.

    Jazmine

    10/21/09, 12:55:pm

    It’s hard to believe that everyone chiming in on this da** post is on one accord! I LOVE BLACK UNITY!!!…Almost made a sista cry.

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 12:57:pm

    @Choco, if she truly loved her kids she would have wanted a better life and father for them. You set your kids up for failure when you pick a mate who is a subpar human being. What she has shown her kids is that they didn’t deserve to have a stable home environment or stable parents. She has shown them that she chose a drug dealer to be their father and that her kids don’t deserve a married two parent home. But of course you are going to give her a p***** because she’s black right?

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 12:57:pm

    @Jazmine

    I agreed with most of what you said, only thing I beg to differ with is that some times when you meet someone and began a relationship with them you expect them to change and grow as a person, in my case what I wanted or thought I needed in a man at 19 drastically changed from what I need and expect from a man at 24. I guess I expected him to grown out of that phase in his life, he didnt and I ended up out growing him.

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 12:57:pm

    @ mzprettylady

    Thanks for the compliment.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 12:59:pm

    @Sanjor
    Honestly race has nothing to do with this I’m giving her a p***** cuz she is a female seeking advice on how to do better…becuz she made wrong choices does not mean she doesn’t love her kids in my opinion it means she doesn’t love herself…huge difference…

    Stop With the Bulll...

    10/21/09, 13:00:pm

    OK, let’s do the math: 7 years of gettin the money (ooh, it’s good), 2 beautiful daughters, and one son on the way. Now, all of a SUDDEN (epiphany)you are – in one day – wanting advice for an answer YOU ALREADY KNOW. Get rid of the ghetto mentality chick! You have put your children in harm’s way for SEVEN DAMN YEARS. WTF? Now, your mind cannot comprehend being without him, his money, and his d#$%… and your mind is saying, “Oh, I’m carrying his son.” What a f#$%^&* legacy to leave. GTFOT! Common sense should have prevailed a long time ago.

    Anonymous

    10/21/09, 13:00:pm

    The answer to this was known before it was written; those in the game are on borrowed time more so than the rest of us; either you gonna be in jail for the rest of your life or pushin up daisies; if she hasn’t put her children and herself FIRST and left then she must like the situation that she’s in. As Mary said ‘I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF’… If your ‘baby daddy’ ain’t changed in 7 years then its a pretty good chance he ISN’T (unless he WANTS to)

    shawn jones

    10/21/09, 13:01:pm

    Stupid, why don’t you go out and get a job or open a business. If you don’t have a degree or skill, which I’m pretty sure you don’t, go back to school and get an education or skill. In the end, you will GET exactly what you deserve. DUMMY!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:02:pm

    @Sanjor
    Also the reason we are having this discussion is becuz she does want a better life however the Devil has his foot on her neck…judging is always easy having empathy for someone is less than perfect is where the difficulty lies…I’m not perfect and I was smart enough to make better decisions for mine but who the hell am I to call her stupid and *****es and all that no matter what she is a human being so perhaps more humanity should be shown!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:02:pm

    @mzprettylady

    And your response was refreshing as well. Disregard those who don’t have the attention span to read your entire response and pick a line or two to bash. Obviously they need to focus, and read what you wrote in its entirety.

    Valkyrie

    10/21/09, 13:03:pm

    SMH, you have to ask? If not for yourself, for the childresn’s sake, get out of there. I don’t care if he’s using fur coast for carpet. if anything goes down and the police don’t get him, others might and they might try to get him by getting you and the kids.

    You knowing what he does for a living, could be counted as an accessory to his activities just by keeping this info to yourself and not going to the law with it. Now that it’s been publically do*****ented, if he’s ever caught and the legal systems put 2 and 2 together, your kids might grow up without a mommy or daddy… SMH again…

    Stop With the Bulll...

    10/21/09, 13:03:pm

    … and ONE MORE THING…. I will NEVER understand people/couples who live or stay together for 9,999 years and NEVER marry. Now, THAT is some DUMB *****. Get a f’ing clue. Then again, if I could get aZZ, eat, be pampered and go in and out the crib as I wanted to just as long as I leave some $ on the table for the broad, I wouldn’t marry her dumb aZZ either… matter of fact, when I leave home, I’m on my way to see my other chick — you know, the one who has her own crib, car, job, and no kids. Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxt!

    trs

    10/21/09, 13:04:pm

    “It’s not that I feel unsafe or fear for the safety of my family, but I fear for his and really just need this to end!”
    ————————————————

    WHEN will some women stop putting men above themselves and their children???

    That man isn’t worried about his own safety, so why should she?? She needs to prioritize her children and get out of this black hole of a relationship before personal safety becomes an issue that she can no longer ignore.

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 13:05:pm

    @Kigali

    Just because she dates a street dude doesn’t make her evil, it means she didn’t use her best judgment when choosing a guy and ended up being caught in the material things and glam lifestyle he provided.

    Sometimes bad things happen even when you try to make the best possible decision for your life. A women might have thought she found the perfect man, he worked had his things together and ended up being a child molester? Life is crazy and I just feel its not cool to judge and bash others when you know your ish probably not perfect either. Its about uplifting and enlightening each other, now what you choose to do with the information is up to you.

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:05:pm

    @choco

    Well said.

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 13:06:pm

    @Choco, yea its very apparent she doesn’t love herself, but what person would willingly choose to bring a child into the world with someone who isn’t father/mother material? Why would you do that to a child? Yes people make mistakes, we are imperfect, however, I just couldn’t fathom doing my children like that. She knew when she got with this man what he was. Why didn’t she use birth control? One mistake, ok, but you keep doing the same crap over and over and add kids to the mix too?

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:06:pm

    @Illuminated
    And people wonder why so much evil is allowed to prosper in our world…the very ones that call evil are evil themselves…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:08:pm

    @Sanjor
    I don’t agree with what she’s done I’m simply stating that I would rather give helpful advice as opposed to being even more negative she is obviously starting to think about the very things you are questioning yourself but if you keep pushing a person down eventually they will stop trying to get up-feel me?

    BIG D

    10/21/09, 13:09:pm

    CL*****IC DOPE BOY TRAP U GET A CHICK OUT THE HOOD WHO GETS ACCUSTOMED TO HAVING THE BEST IN LIFE MOST TIMES SHE HAS NOTHING GOING FOR HER AND A BUNCH OF KIDS SO THE THOUGHT IS NO OTHER ***** COULD TAKE ON ALL THAT BAGGAGE. WHEN U IN THAT FAST LIFE IT REALLY AINT NO STORY BOOKING ENDING TO THAT *****, 25 TO LIFE OR 6 FEET. EITHER WAY ITS GONE BE U AND THE KIDS ALONE FOR THE LONG HAUL…SORRY

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:10:pm

    @MzPretty
    Damn girl thank you cuz some folks can’t see the hate they are spewing which makes them no better…

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 13:10:pm

    @Illuminated One

    Thanks =) some of us are a little more honest and understanding with the fact that you dont always make the best decisions and sometimes it takes you longer to realize your mistakes but once you start fixing the problems and striving for more then your on a path of betterment.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:11:pm

    @BigD
    She could end up without her kids…truthfully speaking they could also charge her…she just needs to start building her own life in my opinion perhaps it’s time for her to lead by example…

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 13:12:pm

    When are we going to stop hand holding and coddling people and telling them, “oh baby its ok, you just made a tiny mistake”? She is stupid, and yes I judge. All of us do. We judge who we and our kids *****ociate with, and the character of people. However the Ultimate Judging of Life and Death is left in the hands of the almighty. I am full of empathy for people, but not for this female, I only have empathy for her children.

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 13:12:pm

    A lot of people like to compartmentalize their lives and relationships. It’s like if you have a man who cheats on you or beats you, but he’s a good provider. You know that you can’t have one without the other. You either get the money and the undesirable behavior or you get nothing.

    What’s she’s not going to get is for him to change.

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 13:14:pm

    I’m sure people have told this female time and time again to get out of this situation, now after 7 years and 3 kids she wants a better life. Those poor kids.

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:14:pm

    @mzprettylady

    Damn Mami! We have some strong black women in here, and I agree with you 100%. We as a people (all non-whites, not just blacks) have gotten away from the “it takes a village to raise a child” concept. I’m not in any way calling this young lady a child, but you get the concept. That’s the primary reason why we it’s so hard to get out of the rut we are in. When someone is so desperate that they reach out for help, we’d much rather attack that person and tell them how supid they are then actually attempt to do something positive. Besides, it’s much easier to judge from the outside looking in.

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 13:16:pm

    When she decided to go down this road, she knew EXACTLY where this would end up.

    There was no surprise.

    Why is she just now starting to complain or worry about it? It’s been there all along.

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 13:17:pm

    @ Choco
    Co Sign and thanks girly =)

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:19:pm

    @Old Timer
    I agree I had to set my foot down and when he didn’t like what I was feeding him I left-she could be really young and maybe that’s all she knows but at least she is starting to see that it is not right…and he’s prolly older so it’s easy to listen to him but she sound like she is wising up…

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:19:pm

    @choco

    I understand, and concur. The people who implemented this train of thought and instilled it in people they wanted to oppress knew that once it was in place, we would continue to feed it for ages to come. Based on the majority of the responses in this forum they were right.

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 13:22:pm

    bossip you are full of ish! why won’t you post my comments?????!!!!!

    Mizz Mena

    10/21/09, 13:23:pm

    You cant leave your and the kids livelihood up to him. You have to stand up for yourself. If he aint stacking you should be, specifically for a great escape. Give him an ultimatum and a date. If he cant step up, step off sweetie. The “man” will take the boo to jail too these days and the kids to CPS. You sound like you know what you want to do you just need a push. Just do it, before the situation does you.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:24:pm

    @Illuminated One
    It’s still a form of slavery in my opinion which is why I refuse to speak like I’m oppressed you are extremely wise I could talk to you for hours I love a good debate and exchanges of necessary information…

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:25:pm

    @old timer

    I disagree. Sometimes people change if what they are changing for is that important to them. It depends on the person. I went from a student who maintained a 4.0 my entire school career to a college dropout and hustler to a family man who has 2 daughters, a son on the way and a very well paying job. Who’s to say this man won’t. We shouldn’t doom him before he is given the chance to even attempts to change.

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:26:pm

    @choco

    Likewise.

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 13:26:pm

    TRS brought up the quote “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” in the other post, and I think it applies here.

    It’s clear that this damaged brotha has been in the game for a minute. I think that many people here are going hard on the woman because she’s known this, despite realizing its dangers, and yet still chose to have not just one, but SEVERAL children with him.

    It’s fair to *****ume that the discussion about marriage for legal protection of the children may not have come up. So it’s hard for some of us to just give her a p***** because after 7 years she’s come to her senses.

    That said, people do make mistakes. I just hope that this serves as a BIG lesson learned, and that as hard as it is, she’ll leave and start anew.

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 13:27:pm

    My stance is: Ok, so YOU decided to mess around with this s***** of the earth and put yourself in harms way…but when YOU proceed to put your CHILDREN in harms way who are dependent on YOU for their safety and well-being, I will call you every dumb *****, trashy w*****, *****, idiot, etc. in the book! That type of activity is poisonous to our FUTURE!

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 13:27:pm

    IM NOT BUYING THIS ***** FOR 1 MIN …LOOK YOU WOMAN GIVE MAH *****KAN ADVICE ALDAY, THAT ALL YOU’LL DO.. SO WHY YOU GET STUMP ON THIS ***** HERE ….YOU SIT IN BED SKEEMING LIKE A MAH *****KA ABOUT ***** 5YRS AHEAD,… SO SHE KNEW AHEAD OF TIME …NOT BUYING IT!

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 13:28:pm

    I’m sorry…. when kids are brought into the situation, the sympathy levels go down to almost non-existent for me.

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 13:31:pm

    WOMEN WHO GET CAUGHT UP IN THAT ***** OR BLINDED BY TWO THINGS ,…DIK & MONEY…ANY SELF SERVING SISTA WOULDA READ THE SIGNS AND AND SKIPP BOOGIE OUT THAT SITUATION QUICK FAST!

    SIMPLY ME

    10/21/09, 13:32:pm

    IT’S OFFICIAL BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS.

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 13:36:pm

    Hi Glok!!!

    Souljagir

    10/21/09, 13:36:pm

    Whoa you must be one of the slow ones. Usually women in this type of situation use this cash flow to their advantage like go to college and make more money incase he gets locked that way he has the option of reforming himself. Of course you will always have a harsh adjustment not having that fast money and fly clothes. News flash this isn’t 1988 and NO ONE is getting paid in full anymore. What do you have to show for? I mean do you have a job or a career and what type of dude was he to wife such and inadequate woman that wouldn’t even set goals for yourself and children. Let me guess you think you’re cute with long hair and dress pretty fly? LMAO, girl do better for those children since it’s clear you’re jaded when it comes to responsibility in my opinion I say go if you can maintain a life of necessity and work on his reform from a distance.

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 13:37:pm

    BLK WOMEN NOWADAYS DONT FIND THEMSELVES IN THIS BULL***** …THIS CANT BE A BLK WOMAN ..WHOEVER SHE IS SHE IS VERY NAIVE!

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 13:37:pm

    @ SIMPLY ME,
    “IT’S OFFICIAL BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS”
    ____________________________________________________
    Not this black woman! I outgrew that in the 90s!

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 13:38:pm

    @ Illuminated One

    Great minds think alike, ever time I read your response I find myself shaking my head in agreement, your right on with the “it takes a village to raise a child” concept, sometimes it take for strangers to enlighten you or put some different food for thought in your mind, and how do we ever get better as race if were always knocking each other down and not willing to give advice or encouraging words when needed. I truly believe what you put out is what you get in return, so I put out positivity so when its my time of need I get that back. Just like you said it much easier to judge when its not you but at the end of the day its God’s job to do the judging.Its our jobs to live life to the fullest and share knowledge with each other and so forth.

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 13:38:pm

    AUNTIE VIV
    HEY GORGEOUS!

    serene

    10/21/09, 13:39:pm

    Okay…..I too like many posters wonder if your more concern with losing the lifestyle u’ve become accustomed than leaving. Cuz its as clear as day that you need to leave.

    You say he’s a good father…but i’d question that. Being a father is more than spending time with your kids, and buying them things. Its also the example you set for them. And most of all, he’s put you and your kids in danger. If god forbid he messes with the wrong person, if they can’t get to him, they’ll get to his family. These aren’t the qualities i consider a good father.

    7 years and almost three kids…and your just now getting to this delima. The deeper u get in, the harder it is to get out. Hence, you getting so accustom to your lifestyle, your afraid of losing.

    Its not a hard question. Of course you should leave. If you need the opinions of others on that, and can’t see why its so clear that you should leave…then u gotta a prob

    Nique

    10/21/09, 13:39:pm

    @Illuminated One

    Your first comment was well written and if you werent married………………

    LOL!

    lisa

    10/21/09, 13:40:pm

    Your life didn’t sound good to me after the 1st paragraph- 3 kids and unmarried. You can’t buy a house w/ his “occupation.” Any transactions over 10K in cash and the gov’t wants to know where the money came from. Your life will change for the worse-unfortunately. If he’s already been caught twice, he’s not that good at it. He will be imprisoned or dead and then what? Whatever you own will be confiscated because of how it was purchased. Used some of that money to get yourself an education, get your tubes tied, and to provide a good life for your kids. You can’t rely on your criminal boyfriend. Best of luck to you and your kids.

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 13:43:pm

    @drenk>>>Deep down, I knew this was probably fake. I wouldn’t put it past the Bossip staff to make up ***** like this. However, if it IS legit, I agree with 99.9% of the comments.

    Kigali, Satan hasn’t swallowed your dumb ***** up yet? It’s coming, bytch!

    Lisa Smith

    10/21/09, 13:44:pm

    Everyone on here know you went thru what she is going thru or know someone who did. So clearly she has a problem and she is trying to get help. Stop putting her down and give her some sound advise. RUN, girl. RUN!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:44:pm

    @Nique
    Girl why did you take the words out of my mouth I was like hmmmm nah I’ll just keep that to myself LOL a smart well spoken man is a turn on for real…LOL I’m so glad you said what we were all probably thinking…now let me go back to my corner

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 13:45:pm

    @mzpretty & @Illuminated One

    With all due respect, what’s the next choice of dialogue AFTER you pat these people on the head, tell them how much you understand, sympathize with their situation, and make them feel like they aren’t the complete idiots that they are? As I said before, I understand people making mistakes, but people who don’t LEARN from their mistakes and keep repeating them and in the process hurting their children…THESE FOLKS GET NO SYMPATHY FROM ME. It’s like ramming your head into a brick wall and trying to figure out why you are bleeding and in pain, and in the process have people gathering together to help you possibly find a solution to keeping your head from bleeding while you are still banging it! Do you see how wreckless it is to be slightly enabling???

    %#&?!! will soon stop coming to bossip

    10/21/09, 13:45:pm

    @ aunt viv

    how r u, today? i agree with u but i have no sympathy left for women like that bc i see and have to deal w/ their selfish choices in every day walks of life :-{

    Joy

    10/21/09, 13:45:pm

    I was there some eight years ago….I left my D-boy for a life where I can be free and safe from it all. In that life style you are never free or safe. I am now married to a wonderful man….However that D-boy has decided to turn his life around, eight years too late…. He wants another chance, sad thing is…I asked you to change and I wasn’t good enough for you to do that at the time and now that I am happy and my daughter is happy, safe and secure. You want back in. Can’t allow that to happen.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 13:45:pm

    @Word
    Satan IS messing with Kigali and has been look as how he addresses females pretty sad and then telling me ***** me—nah you gets none!

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 13:46:pm

    SIMPLY ME

    IT’S OFFICIAL BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS.
    ***********************************************
    So from a post of Bossip, that is summation? Please read a damn book and quit the stupid ***** generalizing. I swear black women are the most freaking loyal women to underserving black men. So if we “officially” love thugs, maybe it’s because Negros don’t know anything other than being thuggish. How ’bout that?

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 13:46:pm

    @Aunt Viv

    @ SIMPLY ME,
    “IT’S OFFICIAL BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS”
    ____________________________________________________
    Not this black woman! I outgrew that in the 90s!
    —————————————————–
    I’mma 2nd that!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:46:pm

    @nique

    Thanks!-)

    me

    10/21/09, 13:48:pm

    LMAO….these comments are whack. Why in God’s name did she think she could come to this forum for legitimate advice?! And WHO thinks she’s actually going to leave?! ha…let’s be real people. She loves him and he obvs loves her. This hip hop ***** really gets to people and they REALLY think that fast life is a successful one. If he’s not listening to you now, it’s going to take more than the advice of some random commenters to make him listen. Sometimes people gotta learn the hard way…

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 13:49:pm

    @choco

    Kigali is a woman…lmao!

    Miss B

    10/21/09, 13:49:pm

    Is she in denial. Girl, the hell with that, ‘he’s a great provider” crap. If he cared about his family, once you all had fist child he’ll gave up that “occupation.”

    Save up some money and LEAVE. Seems you love the money.

    Jovah

    10/21/09, 13:49:pm

    Young lady, Drop that thug. He’s a no good drug dealer. He’s a *****ody. Nothing. Most likely end up in prison or dead. Why do you women date these little boys? If he can’t marry you and put you in a house, then get the ***** away for your kids sake.

    2 SEXY in NO!

    10/21/09, 13:53:pm

    Have you ever heard Erykah’s record……Me n baby have this situation….work ain’t honest but it pays da bill. It’s true…but you have to want out 2……love is hard! It takes two! You can’t give him an ultimative then you’re not ready to make a move. Meaning you have to be ready to ***** or get off the pot also….plain n simple. I wish the best for you!

    Jessica

    10/21/09, 13:54:pm

    I walked out of a 4 year relationship when I was 4 months pregnant with our second child, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I am soooo much happier with my life now.

    Nique

    10/21/09, 13:55:pm

    @Choco

    Girl!Theres nothing like a street smart/book smart man- Thats a big turn on, so you know I had to throw my hat in the ring, but since ol boy married- you know…LMAO!

    @Illuminated One

    No problem! ;)

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 13:56:pm

    @caramelcat

    Point taken, however, the only EMPATHY she got from me was me being in her husband’s shoes once upon a time. SYMPATHY is when you feel sorry for someone, which never came out of my mouth, nor was it in my thoughts. The message I was trying to get across is that it solves absolutely nothing by calling her names and downing her. In my opinion that’s worse than the cause of her problems, and it’s sure not providing any kind of solution for her. If anything, it’s forcing her to withdraw back into herself and avoid any attempts to escapes to overcome this situation. You should really read “A Framework For Understanding Poverty”. It’s enlightening for the simple fact that it gives people from all walks of life a view of what it would really be like to be in that situation with very limited options. I don’t know her complete situation, only what was expressed in the “letter”, which may very well be fake. Maybe it’s just a study to see how detrimental we can really be to each other.

    SIMPLY ME

    10/21/09, 13:58:pm

    @WORDTOTHEWISE
    ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THERE ARE NOT GOOD BLACK MEN OUT THERE WHO ARE LAWYERS, DOCTOR(MY DOCTOR IS A BLACK MAN) ACCOUNTANT AND BUSINESS OWNERS? CHIC PLSSS SHUT THE HELL UP AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT,”BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS”

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 13:59:pm

    @Illuminated One

    I’ll check that book out and I respect your response. Stay up…

    SIMPLY ME

    10/21/09, 13:59:pm

    @JESSICA

    I walked out of a 4 year relationship when I was 4 months pregnant with our second child, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I am soooo much happier with my life now.

    LET ME GUESS, HE WAS A THUG TOO RIGHT? TYPICAL ANOTHER STATISTICS OF SINGLE BABYMAMA.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:02:pm

    @Caramel
    Wait are you joking LMAO are you serious tho if that is the case WTF is wrong with her…DAYUM she’s can’t be a female talking like that about other females…Like Whoa!

    @Nique
    Girl fantasizing is always fun LOL LMAO

    mrs b

    10/21/09, 14:03:pm

    I see everyone commenting leave leave but please remember this woman will have 3 children to care for. I *****ume that she ha no business about her self and needs to get some quick. Fiest focus on having a healthy baby and save as much money as you can during your next 3 months of pregnancy enlist the help of family and close friends…after you child is born go to school for somthing in a high demand feild in your area (whether you like it oor not you have 4 mouths to feed (including you) and its gonna be hard. Use your savings and housing loans (student loans for living off campus) and GET OUT NOW.

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:04:pm

    If she leaves him, she will be stuck with taking care of three children by herself.

    If she stays with him, she will be stuck with taking care of three children by herself.

    If he goes to jail or gets killed, she will be stuck with taking care of three children by herself.

    Whatever happens, she’s going to be taking care of three children by herself.

    *********************************************************

    TRRRUUUUUTTTTTHHHHHHH!!

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 14:04:pm

    Its offical, black females are hot in the pants Mammy *****es.

    Where is the Taliban when you need them. They need to be under house arrest waiting for their arranged marriage. Such is the state of the pathetic black female.

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 14:04:pm

    @caramelcat

    You do the same.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:04:pm

    Okay why is my comment waiting in moderation that bites!

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:05:pm

    MS B
    SO WHAT 3 KIDS AND??? ..THIS SYSTEM OF JUSTICE IS GEARED TO YOUR CONVIENCE …SO SHE WILL BE FINE! ….STOP IT YOU THIS *****!!

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:06:pm

    I see everyone commenting leave leave but please remember this woman will have 3 children to care for.

    ************************************************************

    THAT IS WHY SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE….SHE HAS THREE KIDS THAT CAN EASILY BE KILLED IF THIS MAN MAKES ONE WRONG MOVE…IF SHE DOESN’T WANT TO LEAVE THEN FINE….BUT HAVE SOMEONE ELSE CARE FOR THE KIDS

    DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DRUG GAME??? OR HUSTLE GAMES IN GENERAL?? THEY WILL KILL YA MOMMA AND RAPE YOUR BABIES!!! SHE NEEDS TO GTFOT!!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:06:pm

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    Its offical, black females are hot in the pants Mammy *****es.

    Where is the Taliban when you need them. They need to be under house arrest waiting for their arranged marriage. Such is the state of the pathetic black female.
    ______________________________________________
    As always speak only for yourself and your life situation and are you saying this as a reflection of yourself because that is the only person that you know the best?

    This some Shhh....

    10/21/09, 14:06:pm

    This letter should have been titled: CONFESSIONS OF A SIDE PIECE. When did Bossip start cheering for the underdog? This chick needs to stop wrinting letters and take care of her children. It might not be his competition she has to worry about. Step Dads and others have been snapping lately.

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 14:07:pm

    @Jessica,

    Were you married? If not you arent a *****ing hero just another black female who thinks nothing of destroying the lives of her children. And you call that empowerment. Empowerment means the empowering of one’s self. How about you empower your children. Nothing raises the self esteem and oppurtunities of black children more than to be raised by THEIR MARRIED parents.

    Black females, destroying the lives of black children est.1968.

    Aunt Viv

    10/21/09, 14:07:pm

    @ %#&?!! will soon stop coming to bossip,

    Hey mama how are you today? I hear you with your comment. I see them too, and it can be sad and frustrating.

    @ Alright Then…,
    It was a wrap after ‘Pac….

    Caramel Cat

    10/21/09, 14:09:pm

    @choco

    Yes, she claims to be a married black woman. Honestly sometimes her comments are actually funny and true but her method is a little rash… I understand the points she is making but she fails to realize that ALL black women aren’t the ghetto chickenheads that like thugs and drama. She makes her points by generalizing and for people who aren’t used to her comments it will make them get very defensive. Most of the regular bloggers don’t even get offended by her comments…unless they apply to them…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:10:pm

    Ressurrected
    Don’t waste your time with Kigali that’s like talking to no one-there are no light on inside it’s we wittle brain…

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:11:pm

    WHAT UP GLOK??

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 14:11:pm

    @Choco,

    Do you know what I and birth control have in common? We are both constantly ignored by black females.

    ZING!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:12:pm

    @Kigali
    I’m certain you get ignored by all females ZING!

    drenk

    10/21/09, 14:13:pm

    @ WordtotheWise
    wanna know what makes me CERTAIN its fake?
    —————————————————

    what person in their right mind would ask bossip for advice!?!?!? these mother*****ers are always late on news and cant spell worth a damn

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:13:pm

    IJM
    HEY BEAUTIFUL!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:14:pm

    @Caramel
    I don’t know what Kigali is but I do know IT is ignorant…and for real IT is talking about IT’s Life calling sistas black *****es come on now that’s GHETTO right there!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:15:pm

    Choco

    Ressurrected
    Don’t waste your time with Kigali that’s like talking to no one-there are no light on inside it’s we wittle brain…
    ________________________________________________
    So I see that you have found a new home but on the real being on these blogs requires knowing yourself because these people on here really love destruction…

    Now I see why the internet is too much for many little people…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:16:pm

    @Kigali
    If you are a female I have truly been bamboozled today LOL Lord I’m really serious you are an ugly soul I can’t give you a p***** a woman…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:16:pm

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    @Choco,

    Do you know what I and birth control have in common? We are both constantly ignored by black females.

    ZING!
    ________________________________________________

    I really do not believe that this person is black or female to tell you the truth…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:17:pm

    @Ress
    That’s what I just said there is no way she could be someone who have ovaries LOL If I saw it I still wouldn’t beleive it…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:18:pm

    @Ress
    Yeah I found a new home but this one is not the only one I be on Baller also…

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 14:18:pm

    @Caramel Cat

    I never said I felt sorry for her I said being a person that was once in her situations minus the children I could re late and then proceeded to share my thought process on how I chose the best course of action for myself thru far sharing my knowledge and given my honest opinion of the situation. Also like I said in my earlier post I can give you all the advice in the world it’s up to that person to implement the information and advice given. Regardless if she uses it or not I did my part in given that information all the while not being negative and judgmental of her situation. What good does that do? If a person is asking for advice then it’s obvious she’s beginning to see things more clearly and is also starting to *****ess the situation for what it really is. So my point was why come here bashing her as oppose to just given your honest advice on what you would do if put in that situation?

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:20:pm

    Choco

    @Ress
    Yeah I found a new home but this one is not the only one I be on Baller also…
    _______________________________________________
    Never heard of that one give me the sight… Sometimes I come on your site and drop a comment every now and then…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:21:pm

    Choco

    Yeah I have others as well but in time they all get boring so then you look to relocate…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:22:pm

    @Ress
    Girl I check my site to see if folks comment I didn’t see any — See my first email to and then add Alert at the end the that word Baller Alert this comment might get deleted cuz Bossip don’t like the mention of other sites…

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:25:pm

    BLK SISTAZ UNITE AND FIGHT FOR WHATZ RIGHT …HELP A SISTA OUT IN THIS POSITION ,..DONT GET ALL UP IN HER BIZNESS LIKE THIS CHIC WANT,… BUT HELP HER OUT AND TELL HER ALL THE ***** YOUR NOSY ***** SEE AND HEAR THATZ ALL!

    Old Timer

    10/21/09, 14:25:pm

    Illuminated One

    @old timer

    I disagree. Sometimes people change if what they are changing for is that important to them. It depends on the person. I went from a student who maintained a 4.0 my entire school career to a college dropout and hustler to a family man who has 2 daughters, a son on the way and a very well paying job. Who’s to say this man won’t. We shouldn’t doom him before he is given the chance to even attempts to change.
    __________________________________

    Yes, people can change……..when they get ready to change. I think that women are more quilty than men of wanting a person to change for them.

    When you made the decision to change, you did. No one else could make you do that.

    Kigali (Female condoms are cheap)

    10/21/09, 14:25:pm

    @Choco,

    I have ovaries. I just dont let them get knocked around by men who are in and out of prison. Try it sometime.

    trexfrombollywood

    10/21/09, 14:26:pm

    dumb ***** chic here, let me tell you what to do. save your money and take a *****in life insurance policy on his *****! problems solved, if and when they wack his *****, you collect that insurance money and move on…enough said, now look me up when he’s gone and i’ll help you with the kids and spending some of that money!!!

    EDUCATED BLACK MAN

    10/21/09, 14:28:pm

    who cares? who told her to date a thug? black women i tell ya.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:30:pm

    Choco

    @Ress
    Girl I check my site to see if folks comment I didn’t see any — See my first email to and then add Alert at the end the that word Baller Alert this comment might get deleted cuz Bossip don’t like the mention of other sites…
    _________________________________________________
    Yeah I know that they don’t like site info around here… R U serious you never see my comments? So are you completely off of NB now?

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:31:pm

    @Kigali
    Seriously no offense but you are not on my level I’d rather you keep and moving and I will do the same…PEACE

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:31:pm

    A BLK WOMAN AINT GOING TO GET ***** IN LIFE INSURANCE ON HER HUBBY BROKE ***** ,…AND IF SO THEY WOULD SUSPECT HER 1ST LOCK THAT DUMB ***** BYTCH UP!! WONT WORK FOR HER!

    EDUCATED BLACK MAN

    10/21/09, 14:31:pm

    dumb ***** chic here, let me tell you what to do. save your money and take a *****in life insurance policy on his *****! problems solved, if and when they wack his *****, you collect that insurance money and move on…enough said, now look me up when he’s gone and i’ll help you with the kids and spending some of that money!!!

    DAYUMMMMMMMMMMMMM DAYUMMMMMMMMMMM

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 14:32:pm

    I have a GF damn near in the same situation as this chick, except she married her dude. They have one of the most beautiful homes I’ve seen, she drives a Benz truck and he has a 5 series BMW (the big one). She has 2 children, along w/ his 2 stepdaughters, and she is about 3 months pregnant. She has had decent jobs, and is a perpetual “student” but has always ended up quitting school/jobs so she could hang and get the “fringe benefits” (out of town, NBA weekends, you know, ballin!) of said life.
    She says she wants him to quit, but I still see her contribute to the mountain of bills, etc that keeps him in the game (shopping, feeling entitled to things simply because “he has it”. Even if he wanted to leave, he couldn’t, because they have set their lifestyles up so that they will lose everything if he does. There have been talks of barber shops, car shops, detail shops, realty, mobile car wash, etc. Always some pipe dream on the horizon that allows my GF to keep lying to herself about him changing his ways.
    Well, she just found out he gave her Chlamydia, and now her world is really upside down. When she called me last week crying, she said something I thought was just odd, she said “I’m just afraid that my kids won’t have anybody, no daddy, blah blah blah”. I was floored. I told her, ummm they have YOU!
    She’s smart, and can do more for her life and her kids by leaving this situation than she will ever do by staying in it… I wonder what she will do… She hasn’t called me since then, and that usually means they are “working it out”… smh…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:32:pm

    @Ress
    Not completely off NB but when the topics seem repetitive I bounce like I think this week is dedicated to Rihana LOL

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:32:pm

    Glok..!!

    BLK SISTAZ UNITE AND FIGHT FOR WHATZ RIGHT …HELP A SISTA OUT IN THIS POSITION ,..DONT GET ALL UP IN HER BIZNESS LIKE THIS CHIC WANT,… BUT HELP HER OUT AND TELL HER ALL THE ***** YOUR NOSY ***** SEE AND HEAR THATZ ALL!
    ________________________________________________
    Hey Glok, you know most people reject help and are open up to drama… At the end of the day if you are not apart of the solution then to me you are a part of the problem… People get mad when you do not fit inside of there dysfuntional boxes and still no one wants to listen..

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:33:pm

    @Ress
    Girl no but I will check back but I checked last week and I didn’t see any comments Melolo used to comment so I would get back at her…

    tdubya@ymail.com

    10/21/09, 14:33:pm

    This is a complicated situated situated because I am wondering are you the mother “wifey” prepared to be self- sufficient. Work, education, some sort of training to allow you to support your children. Regardless if he stops his occupation… What if… God forbids he is murdered or locked away for a long period of time are you prepared as a mother to support your children. That is what is most important…You beinf independant!! My other concern is how good is your “husband” really doing? My first concern is he is never there at night with you.. Does he have another family possibly and can’t afford to put money away for your family. Most big time street hustlas are not out in the streets late at night hustlin’ because they have the smalltime runners out doing it for them. The big timers are seldomly seen. Too many open questions, I suggest prepare yourself to take care of your children!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:33:pm

    Choco

    @Ress
    Not completely off NB but when the topics seem repetitive I bounce like I think this week is dedicated to Rihana LOL
    ________________________________________________
    My problem with NB is the memebers acting as if they cut the light on or off in the *****… People love power even when there is not reason to have power and I don’t have time for the little girl mess…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:35:pm

    Choco

    @Ress
    Girl no but I will check back but I checked last week and I didn’t see any comments Melolo used to comment so I would get back at her…
    ______________________________________________
    I haven’t see Mel on there in a while but I just revisited again yesterday but I am trying to eventually give my complete attention to something else because this does not feed me in the way that I need to be feed… 2010 will a whole different setting for me..

    Jazmine

    10/21/09, 14:36:pm

    @MZPRETTYLADY

    I totally agree with you. That’s so true. What you want in a man at one point is totally different then what you may want 5 to 10 years later. I can testify to that myself. I think I understand this letter like I said because I’ve been there done that too. I was 18 to 19 at the time. It was nice having the money and being able to do what you wanted to do…I was young and thought it to be fly but now, at 25, I know better. All of that leads to a bunch of nothing. I totally feel you!

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:37:pm

    RESURRECTED
    HEY SIS, I HEAR THAT BUT I KNOW YOU WOMEN TALK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME …BUT WHEN IT HITS HOME…EVERYONE OF YOU LADIES SEEMS LOST AND CONFUSED I KNOW ITZ HARD TO JUST GET UP AND GO ,..BUT WHATZ MORE IMPORTANT ..YOU AND THEM KIDS RIGHT!?!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:37:pm

    Actually Kigali
    I’m going to keep this banter with you up becuz it’s making my afternoon speed by..
    I’m going to play psychic here…Let’s see what my crystal ball tells me-mmmm you are unattractive and unwanted, you live alone and therefore doesn’t really have any true form of stimulation, physical or mental, you were once in a relationship that turned sour becuz he wanted to be with someone else..possible an *****ociate of your ooohhhh even better he left you for a better black woman…you are tired of using sex toys I can tell by how back up and irritated you sound…and you have written off all men becuz your first one treated you so horribly…see how transparent you really are!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:38:pm

    @Ress
    I heard that boo I’m going to start thinking of my new year’s resolutions…

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:40:pm

    LADIES REMEMBER WHAT YOUR MOM AND GRANMA SAID …ALL THAT GLITTERS AINT GOLD ….STOP PAPER CHASING AND FINDING YOURSELF LOSING YOUR DIGNITY AND SELF WORTH!

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:40:pm

    @ Alrighty

    That is sad. That is real sad and your friend is going to need a strong person like you to help her get on her feet because it is apparent she is entirely too dependent on this man’s “income” and way of life.

    Let me ask you this though. In all this balling did she stack her money up. Does she have an account with money for her rainy day? Or did she set herself up for the fall as well when he doesn’t make it?

    The well always runs dry. Please let her know that.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:41:pm

    Glok..!!

    RESURRECTED
    HEY SIS, I HEAR THAT BUT I KNOW YOU WOMEN TALK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME …BUT WHEN IT HITS HOME…EVERYONE OF YOU LADIES SEEMS LOST AND CONFUSED I KNOW ITZ HARD TO JUST GET UP AND GO ,..BUT WHATZ MORE IMPORTANT ..YOU AND THEM KIDS RIGHT!?!
    ____________________________________________
    That is very true it is hard to follow your won advice but to me all that is lacking in the household of the man and woman is the agreement factor… People want a partner but do not want to really let that partner in to the 1 agreement zone… Men need to listen more to there partners because you are both two adults not children with not choices..

    Harmonized

    10/21/09, 14:41:pm

    @AUTHOR

    I will say us women plan ahead in relationships so you knew and just need others perspectives if you feeling pressure from your family and friends to leave and just ran out of excuses.

    @KIGALI

    your attitude have always reflected to me what mood you may be in and babygirl you’re sounding a little bitter…I’m not offended by the name calling but look at yourself…you sound miserable and very unhappy…positive doesn’t reflect any of the characteristics you possess…I know you’re prolly just a Bossip character or perhaps a frequent visitor but you’re crossing boundaries that doesn’t need to be crossed…it’s very childish but judging between authors YOU need the most help!!!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 14:42:pm

    @oldtimer

    I guess I misunderstood your position on the matter. It sounded as if you were saying that he will NOT change, regardless of the reason. My apologies. And you are right, I changed when I was ready, however, I had my loving wife (girlfriend at the time) trying to steer me in the right direction, so the seed had been planted. She, nor anyone else, ever told me that I couldn’t change. It is my belief that whether you say you can or cannot, either way you are absolutely right. And yes, women are more quick to believe that they can change their mate. All they can do is help them see why the need to change. Not everyone is their own best friend.

    Jazmine

    10/21/09, 14:42:pm

    @ Alrighty then

    @Aunt Viv

    @ SIMPLY ME,
    “IT’S OFFICIAL BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS”
    ____________________________________________________
    Not this black woman! I outgrew that in the 90s!
    —————————————————–
    I’mma 2nd that!
    __________________________

    I got third on that one. What does Bossip always say “F**k a thug!” LOL

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:42:pm

    LADIES REMEMBER WHAT YOUR MOM AND GRANMA SAID …ALL THAT GLITTERS AINT GOLD ….STOP PAPER CHASING AND FINDING YOURSELF LOSING YOUR DIGNITY AND SELF WORTH!

    *********************************************************

    Chuch!

    elektrikeccentrik

    10/21/09, 14:42:pm

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    damn lol @ at all of these paragraph comments. everything i wanted to say has already been said! lol!
    and a big lmfao @ shorty that decided to send her plight to bossip instead of steve harvey’s strawberry letter lol.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:43:pm

    Choco

    @Ress
    I heard that boo I’m going to start thinking of my new year’s resolutions…

    ________________________________________________
    Yeah we need to make some in the same area…lol…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:43:pm

    Choco

    Actually Kigali
    I’m going to keep this banter with you up becuz it’s making my afternoon speed by..
    I’m going to play psychic here…Let’s see what my crystal ball tells me-mmmm you are unattractive and unwanted, you live alone and therefore doesn’t really have any true form of stimulation, physical or mental, you were once in a relationship that turned sour becuz he wanted to be with someone else..possible an *****ociate of your ooohhhh even better he left you for a better black woman…you are tired of using sex toys I can tell by how back up and irritated you sound…and you have written off all men becuz your first one treated you so horribly…see how transparent you really are!
    _________________________________________________

    Girl you are a trip Ms. Physic lady…loll

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 14:44:pm

    ….or worst critic for that matter, considering some of these downright mean-spirited posts.

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:44:pm

    AND PLUS QUIT ALL THE THUG NAME CALLING ,…YOU DONT KNOW A NIGGR IN A 3 PIECE SUIT WILL WHIP HER ***** AND THINK NOTHING OF IT …QUIKER THAN THAT NIGGR WITH PANTS HANGING,….SEE THE NIGGR IN THE 3 PIECE SUIT GOT YOU IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU WILL DEPEND ON HIS ***** ….YOU CAN LEAVE A THUG CUZ HE BROKE AND CANT DO ***** FOR YOU !

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 14:44:pm

    drenk>>>I know that’s right. When I read the letter, I thought, “I bet someone at Bossip put this letter together.” I wouldn’t put it past them.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:45:pm

    Glok..!!

    LADIES REMEMBER WHAT YOUR MOM AND GRANMA SAID …ALL THAT GLITTERS AINT GOLD ….STOP PAPER CHASING AND FINDING YOURSELF LOSING YOUR DIGNITY AND SELF WORTH!
    __________________________________________________
    I have never paper chased for the nucca I want my own because men leave too many woman in ***** up situation and I have the intellence and know how to use resources for my damn self and that is why many like to try to make you feel crazy in the head because they are often lacking…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:48:pm

    Illuminated One

    @oldtimer

    I guess I misunderstood your position on the matter. It sounded as if you were saying that he will NOT change, regardless of the reason. My apologies. And you are right, I changed when I was ready, however, I had my loving wife (girlfriend at the time) trying to steer me in the right direction, so the seed had been planted. She, nor anyone else, ever told me that I couldn’t change. It is my belief that whether you say you can or cannot, either way you are absolutely right. And yes, women are more quick to believe that they can change their mate. All they can do is help them see why the need to change. Not everyone is their own best friend.
    ___________________________________________________
    I really do believe that people can change but the most informed one has to be the stronger and sometime you might not feel that you have the strength… Change takes time and many people reject it so, so do you have any advice on how to be strong for someone else while they are going through there change other then prayer?

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:48:pm

    AND PLUS QUIT ALL THE THUG NAME CALLING ,…YOU DONT KNOW A NIGGR IN A 3 PIECE SUIT WILL WHIP HER ***** AND THINK NOTHING OF IT …QUIKER THAN THAT NIGGR WITH PANTS HANGING,….SEE THE NIGGR IN THE 3 PIECE SUIT GOT YOU IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU WILL DEPEND ON HIS ***** ….YOU CAN LEAVE A THUG CUZ HE BROKE AND CANT DO ***** FOR YOU !

    **********************************************************

    @ Glok

    Didn’t Pastor Bynum (sp.) do that to his wife Juanita in the parking lot….hmmm and he is a minister of the Lord.

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:49:pm

    RESURRECTED!
    INDEEDY, SISTA WE MEN NEED TO LISTEN MORE CUZ ITS THE WOMENS ATTENTION THAT MATTERS MORE I FOUND OUT ,..HEY IM STILL LEARNING, YOU WOMEN NEED QUALITY TIME WITH US MEN ….BUT WE BOTH SUFFER FROM COMMUNICATION.<THATZ WHAT *****S UP UR GOOD THING!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:49:pm

    @Ress
    You know I can be at times and Kigali is way to negative so Imma mess with her right back…
    @Alrighty
    It seems as though her man may be in too deep in which case when the ***** hits the fan they will take the whole family out she should be more concerned with her children’s well being cuz he may be at the point of no return!

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 14:49:pm

    SIMPLY ME

    @WORDTOTHEWISE
    ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THERE ARE NOT GOOD BLACK MEN OUT THERE WHO ARE LAWYERS, DOCTOR(MY DOCTOR IS A BLACK MAN) ACCOUNTANT AND BUSINESS OWNERS?

    Who the ***** said that, *****. Get the ***** over yourself. I didn’t say there weren’t any good black men. Can you read?

    CHIC PLSSS SHUT THE HELL UP AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT,”BLACK WOMEN LOVE THUGS”

    Now if you can shut me up, then we’ll talk. Until then, go to hell and take your stupid ***** “black women love thugs” opinion with your ignorant *****. Maybe if the MAJORITY of black men stepped up to the plate and quit killing one another, there might be a chance for you. Probably not you because your ***** is hopeless.

    P.S. Oh, and if you’re going to make such a stupid ***** statement, back it up with facts, not just some damn posts on a blog.

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 14:53:pm

    SIMPLY ME,

    Since your stupid ***** seems to know so much about black women, give me numbers to back up your stupid ***** stat. Can’t do it, huh? I can give you numbers to back up my notion that you and men like you aren’t ***** and never will be *****. Blacks make up 12% of the population, so you couldn’t possibly know “most” black women, *****.

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:53:pm

    LMAO IJM
    YES LAWD, HE HAD THAT SISTAZ IN THE PARKING LOT FEELING THE HAND OF GOD FIRST HAND , HIS ARMS MAY HAVE BEEN TO SHORT TO BOX WITH GOD …BUT HE TRIED TO KNOCK MRS BYNUM ***** OUT!..NO PUN!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:54:pm

    Glok..!!

    RESURRECTED!
    INDEEDY, SISTA WE MEN NEED TO LISTEN MORE CUZ ITS THE WOMENS ATTENTION THAT MATTERS MORE I FOUND OUT ,..HEY IM STILL LEARNING, YOU WOMEN NEED QUALITY TIME WITH US MEN ….BUT WE BOTH SUFFER FROM COMMUNICATION.<THATZ WHAT *****S UP UR GOOD THING!
    __________________________________________________
    Yeah I am going through that battle now and men call wanting attention as being needy I hate when people play the word game over facing and address the issues.. I am not the type of person that will keep staring at the dead mouse in the room as if it was not there…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 14:55:pm

    Okay really I’m laughing cuz ppl are going off up in here it’s not funny but Dayum we need to show more love and comp*****ion LOL LMAO everything just went beserk!

    thickums

    10/21/09, 14:55:pm

    You knew his ife from jump but you kept pushing out his babies b/c the money was so good and you felt that that is the life. You waited until now while you are pregnant (and being stress is not good for you or the baby)to decide this is not what you want your babies daddy to continue to do as far as his “job” is concern. Instead of not wanting for anything you should have put the money he was giving you aside for the kids education and a savings account where you could purchase the property.

    thickums

    10/21/09, 14:57:pm

    BTW do you work?

    1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals---Pimpin, Platinum style!!! J-Hud's concert was OFF THE MEAT RACK!!!!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 14:57:pm

    I think the letter is a fake.

    Although I think this situation is real in a lot of cases.

    I don’t feel sorry for women in situations like this……NOT ONE BIT!!!

    *****es kill me!!! They know DAMN WELL what these drug dealing ***** thugs are doing yet they open their legs for ‘em in hopes of fast cash and quick dreams.

    ***** ‘em! They deserve everything they get.

    Now the children are another story…..

    Glok..!!

    10/21/09, 14:58:pm

    RESURRECTED!
    YOU FOR SURE I KNOW THINK 2 STEPS AHEAD OF THE GAME, ITS GONNA TAKE A BRILLIANT SCHOLAR TO THROW YOU OFF OR MAKE YOU TUMBLE FOR LOVE!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:59:pm

    WordtotheWiHey lady you talk nice and with sense and they come back with more curse words then and less decency and dignity…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 14:59:pm

    resurrected

    WordtotheWise
    Hey lady you talk nice and with sense and they come back with more curse words then and less decency and dignity…

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 14:59:pm

    HI BIG SIS!!!

    1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals---Pimpin, Platinum style!!! J-Hud's concert was OFF THE MEAT RACK!!!!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 15:00:pm

    @ IJM–

    Hey lil sis!!!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:00:pm

    Choco

    Okay really I’m laughing cuz ppl are going off up in here it’s not funny but Dayum we need to show more love and comp*****ion LOL LMAO everything just went beserk!
    _________________________________________________
    U are love even when it is by the least of them, which is us…lol…

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 15:01:pm

    BTW do you work?

    **********************************************************
    NOPE SHE DOESN’T! She is laid up, not saving, not in school. Just “living” this lie that is going to leave her very sad and very lonely!

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 15:01:pm

    Choco

    Okay really I’m laughing cuz ppl are going off up in here it’s not funny but Dayum we need to show more love and comp*****ion LOL LMAO everything just went beserk!
    *****************************************
    You’re right. I am seriously PMS’ing today and can’t tolerate *****s always calling out sisters on *****. Sorry for my outbursts. I need to take a lesson from Sydney. She’s always calm, cool, and collected :-)

    1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals---Pimpin, Platinum style!!! J-Hud's concert was OFF THE MEAT RACK!!!!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 15:01:pm

    @ IJM–

    You gotta teach me how to play Mafia Wars or Farmville.

    Yes, I relented! Lol!!!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:02:pm

    Glok..!!

    RESURRECTED!
    YOU FOR SURE I KNOW THINK 2 STEPS AHEAD OF THE GAME, ITS GONNA TAKE A BRILLIANT SCHOLAR TO THROW YOU OFF OR MAKE YOU TUMBLE FOR LOVE!
    _____________________________________________
    I try but love can be blind and people lack knowing how to really suuport each other… If I am ahead of the game is because I look to GOd for what I don’t know but being a woman is not easy especially a black woman since we are hated soo… I am glad that I am still waiting to have my family because even I am scare of making the wrong choices…

    1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals---Pimpin, Platinum style!!! J-Hud's concert was OFF THE MEAT RACK!!!!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 15:02:pm

    @ WordtotheWise–

    Get ‘em, girl!!!

    Lol!!!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:04:pm

    WordtotheWise

    Choco

    Okay really I’m laughing cuz ppl are going off up in here it’s not funny but Dayum we need to show more love and comp*****ion LOL LMAO everything just went beserk!
    *****************************************
    You’re right. I am seriously PMS’ing today and can’t tolerate *****s always calling out sisters on *****. Sorry for my outbursts. I need to take a lesson from Sydney. She’s always calm, cool, and collected
    _________________________________________________
    Girl I feel and plus most of us are not use to being those quiet woman walking on egg shells… Sometimes it is hard to learn that you can no help the ones who do not want to learn… I am sure that the misery is a big part of the payback…

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 15:04:pm

    resurrected

    resurrected

    WordtotheWise
    Hey lady you talk nice and with sense and they come back with more curse words then and less decency and dignity…
    ***************************
    Hey girl! I really need to be more dignified. I really do, but girrrrrllllll…

    You know, instead of people dealing with issues, they come back with attacks on the person instead of the issue. It’s called ad hominum (sp?). I hate when people write checks their behinds can’t cash, and then they run.

    Anyway, how are you doing this wonderful Hump Day?

    Choco

    10/21/09, 15:05:pm

    @Ress
    I just checked my site and caught your comment…I’m about to surf…I be back!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 15:05:pm

    I do. In fact, I am having to be strong for my wife right now. Being human, she has made some very costly mistakes recently that have required me to step up and remind her why decided to marry each other me in the first place. Patience is key. Everyone learns the necessary lessons at their own pace. She and I learn very differently, so at times it becomes frustrating. Being a reasonably intelligent man, I know that change is absolutely necessary in order to progress. Over the past 10 years of our relationship (we are only in our late 20s by the way) we have both seen each other change quite a bit. What works best for me, besides patience, is showing many options so that she don’t change in the wrong ways. Keep in mind that the worst thing a person can do is say “I told you so.” Above all, be there for them when *****ody else will. When you feel weak, tell yourself that you CAN and WILL go on. Do not let yourself even begin to fathom the concept of failure. Positive reinforcement works the same way that the negative does. It’s hard to be happy around someone who is constantly sad. Same goes for strength and weakness.

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 15:06:pm

    @ Sis

    Yes I will teach you. Did you sign up. I just play MW not Farmville.

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 15:06:pm

    @ Jazmine
    Thanks Jazz!!! Glad we could agree specially given the fact that we’ve both been there done that and have grown wiser go girls!!!! ;)

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 15:06:pm

    @I’m Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    @ Alrighty

    That is sad. That is real sad and your friend is going to need a strong person like you to help her get on her feet because it is apparent she is entirely too dependent on this man’s “income” and way of life.

    Let me ask you this though. In all this balling did she stack her money up. Does she have an account with money for her rainy day? Or did she set herself up for the fall as well when he doesn’t make it?

    The well always runs dry. Please let her know that.
    —————————————————–
    I would say she’s almost completely reliant on him and his money…. She could make it by herself, most definitely, but could she maintain at the level she is living now? Hell naw! She might have to downsize cars, and home and extracurricular *****, BUT she would have things like piece of mind and clear conscience, that is priceless. It’s ok to start over… I had to learn this in my mid 20’s. Starting over was hard, one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I did it, and I’m a better woman/person for it all these yrs later. I am always there for her, she’s my BFF til the bitter end, but at some point, our goals changed. If I had to take her and her 3 kids into my home, I wouldn’t think twice about it, but IMO she will never be the one to leave, he will…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:06:pm

    WordtotheWise

    resurrected

    resurrected

    WordtotheWise
    Hey lady you talk nice and with sense and they come back with more curse words then and less decency and dignity…
    ***************************
    Hey girl! I really need to be more dignified. I really do, but girrrrrllllll…

    You know, instead of people dealing with issues, they come back with attacks on the person instead of the issue. It’s called ad hominum (sp?). I hate when people write checks their behinds can’t cash, and then they run.

    Anyway, how are you doing this wonderful Hump Day?
    ___________________________________________________
    Hey everyone is entitled to there day even you and I have been there so you get no blame from me but it is crazy how the ugly get some much attention… We really need to change the game…

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 15:07:pm

    @IJM – I love Sorority Life! lol!

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:07:pm

    Word to the wise

    I meant that you are entitled to those days…

    1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals---Pimpin, Platinum style!!! J-Hud's concert was OFF THE MEAT RACK!!!!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 15:08:pm

    I’m (again) sorry but I beg to differ even with some of my fellow BOSSIPers….

    Love is one thing but my freedom and the safety of my children is all together a different thing!

    OK….gotta give you another situation…

    I knew a girl in Mount Vernon (back in the day) that ONLY dated drug dealers. I’m not talking about the street level knapsackers, either!!!

    Long story short–she was murdered EXECUTION style along with her two-year-old son. There were hundreds of theories as to why she was killed but the fact remains, she wasn’t the drug dealer–her man was.

    Why did she have to die?

    Why did her son have to die?

    R.I.P, Monica S.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:09:pm

    Choco

    @Ress
    I just checked my site and caught your comment…I’m about to surf…I be back!
    ________________________________________________
    Ok have fun and I will be getting off in like 10 min

    Choco

    10/21/09, 15:10:pm

    @Word
    Boo don’t even apologize I’m in the same boat and yes PMS is kicking my ***** … LOL oh how I feel your pain…

    WordtotheWise

    10/21/09, 15:10:pm

    resurrected,

    Thank you, sweetie :-)

    1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals---Pimpin, Platinum style!!! J-Hud's concert was OFF THE MEAT RACK!!!!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 15:10:pm

    @ alrighty then–

    IJM is a BEAST in Mafia Wars!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 15:11:pm

    @1True
    Wow that’s what I was tryn to get across to Alrighty cuz it sounds as if her friend’s man is in too deep as well I hope your story can prevent this in someone else’s life…

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 15:12:pm

    @Illuminated One – You made it because you have a true “hustler’s spirit”, sans the short-sightedness. So I know you empathize for having been in HIS shoes, but having been in and around HER shoes, I can genuinely say, the men like you are few and far between… for the most part, these type of men are not the ones you want to “ride it out” and wait for change, because it’s not happening… somehow, you would think she would know that, having been “that chick” for 7 yrs now…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:13:pm

    Illuminated One

    I do. In fact, I am having to be strong for my wife right now. Being human, she has made some very costly mistakes recently that have required me to step up and remind her why decided to marry each other me in the first place. Patience is key. Everyone learns the necessary lessons at their own pace. She and I learn very differently, so at times it becomes frustrating. Being a reasonably intelligent man, I know that change is absolutely necessary in order to progress. Over the past 10 years of our relationship (we are only in our late 20s by the way) we have both seen each other change quite a bit. What works best for me, besides patience, is showing many options so that she don’t change in the wrong ways. Keep in mind that the worst thing a person can do is say “I told you so.” Above all, be there for them when *****ody else will. When you feel weak, tell yourself that you CAN and WILL go on. Do not let yourself even begin to fathom the concept of failure. Positive reinforcement works the same way that the negative does. It’s hard to be happy around someone who is constantly sad. Same goes for strength and weakness.
    __________________________________________________
    When I try to show my friend options and strength it like men reject this often, mad at there situation but on the other hand do not want to take the time to learn something new… My people die from a lack of knowledge… I am trying to be supportive and hold on for the rewards but it is not easy… It like with men the people that they say they trust the most is the one that they listen too the less… I do believe that love can conquer all things but that is for the one who can endure the most… I know that we all must die to self but this is usually a one side thing to most…

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 15:15:pm

    @resurrected

    Hope that helps a little. I’m sure you already know everything that I just said, but sometimes we lose focus. We are all human.

    SIMPLY ME

    10/21/09, 15:18:pm

    WORDTOTHEWISE
    B*TCH SUCK MY D*CK, AND GO FIND YOU DEADBEAT DAD AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT BLACK MEN KILLING EACH OTHER A-HOLE. I KNOW WOMEN LIKE YOU WHO TALK ***** ABOUT BLACK MEN AND THEY ALL GREW UP WITHOUT A DAD. F*CK YOU AND UR MAMA B*TCH.

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:19:pm

    Illuminated One

    @resurrected

    Hope that helps a little. I’m sure you already know everything that I just said, but sometimes we lose focus. We are all human.
    ______________________________________________
    Yeah thanks did you read my new comment… To tell you the truth the only things that keeps me sane is trying to stay close to God and his word and sometimes even that is a struggle… Thanks for the talk…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:21:pm

    Illuminated One

    It seems like to me that most people on here is only educated in being ignorant and nasty… I try to reframe from that mess but sometimes I want to give them all what they want but then again that is too much control for them…

    Choco

    10/21/09, 15:22:pm

    @IlluminatedONe
    Wanna get married : ) LOL Im kidding my young lover wouldn’t appreciate that but hey it’s all in jest…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:22:pm

    Away I am out for the day everyone have a blessed one and for those who lack the message of love and peace grow the F**k up…

    resurrected

    10/21/09, 15:23:pm

    Choco

    @IlluminatedONe
    Wanna get married : ) LOL Im kidding my young lover wouldn’t appreciate that but hey it’s all in jest…
    _______________________________________________
    Get back in that pocket…lol.. Talk to you later..

    Mamamami

    10/21/09, 15:23:pm

    Writer of letter,

    Well you have to get into a good support system and I would leave. If the guy hasnt been doing right then he probably isnt going to ever do right. 7 years is a long long time to be waiting for someone to do the right thing. If you dont do the right then at least give your children a chance. Seriously

    Caramel Goddess

    10/21/09, 15:24:pm

    I’m sorry,dear, but I feel absolutely NO sympathy for you. Quite frankly, you’ve allowed and (maybe) encouraged this lifestyle for years and, although it’s unfortunate for the children, it’s partially your fault.

    If you do not have one already, I would start by finding a job/ career of my own since it doesn’t look like your husband is guaranteed to be around forever. At least that way you’d be able to provide for your children without depending on anyone else.

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 15:24:pm

    @resurrected

    Those men that are rejecting must humble themselves in order to receive what is being offered. Pride is a very dangerous thing if it prevents us from accepting good, no matter the source. Nothing good comes easy, and I think it’s necessary in order to fully appreciate the end results. I don’t know why as men we tend to do exactly what you said, the ones that we trust the most we listen to the least. Perhaps its the fact that society has deemed women weaker in comparison than men. When anyone with any sense knows that without a good woman, what’s the probablity of a good man? “It’s a man’s world…..” (You know the rest!) Furthermore, this person should be reminded that anger at the situation helps nothing, unless that anger is transformed to motivation which can make or break any situation.

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 15:25:pm

    @Choco – They manufacture tax returns and *****, so yes, it is deep. I remember one time she told me this ***** had 500K in the attic wall! Now if I know they have that kind of money, no telling who else knows! A ***** will kill you over $10, let alone stacks like that! I am always worried about home invasions. They are getting more and more common where they live; he goes to the club, gets followed home, then the entire family is held at gunpoint and robbed, or worse, that’s my fear for her (cause he’s one of the flashy types that wants everyone to know he’s a boss). But she can still walk away, but she won’t. That’s why I find it so hard to empathize, because there is ALWAYS a choice. Don’t mean that choice is gonna be EASY, but it’s still there…

    eveinthegarden

    10/21/09, 15:26:pm

    What a man sows, that also shall he reap. Question is, does she want to be around when the reaping comes down? Being a pharmacist isnt going to just reflect on HIM. If he gets busted at home, she could wind up dealing w/ Child Services and having her kids taken away for endangerment. He is willing to face 20-40-60 years in prison, leaving this woman to raise those kids by herself.

    Its never too late to wise up my sistah. God is not mocked.

    lisalisa

    10/21/09, 15:27:pm

    another hoodrat making dumb decision…

    GHANA BABY

    10/21/09, 15:28:pm

    as an african man, my comment will be i don’t give a f*ck.LOL

    GHANA STAND UP

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 15:29:pm

    @choco

    I know it’s all in jest! No harm in that!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 15:35:pm

    @alrightythen

    True, true……

    ANTI-THUG

    10/21/09, 15:37:pm

    @LISA LISA
    another hoodrat making dumb decision…

    i agree agree

    mzprettylady

    10/21/09, 15:37:pm

    @Illuminated One
    Your wife lucked up with you honestly, because she has the best of both worlds, someone who knows the streets and the struggle but also knows being intelligent is important and being able to grown and change, but you’ve lucked up to because when you asked her to step up and bring something to the table she did that, I admire your mental, a lot of men do think as you do, refreshing to say the least.

    @resurrected
    I totally agree with this statement regarding trying to be strong and supportive only to have the man feel like he’ll be looked at as weak if he takes advice from you in regards to bettering his self.It almost starts to feel like you in a never ending battle when your only wanting to help them change for the better, I guess everyone changes at their own pace, and some never change at all.

    Just Stating

    10/21/09, 15:42:pm

    We all know that “life” does not last. The goal……if you want to call it that should be “do it long enough” to set yourself up legally!!
    The problem is everyone in the life enoughs all the BS trappings and bottle popping and do not even realize it is ending. And, there is never anything to show for it because it is either taken or sold so they can hold onto to the life when he or she gets pooped.
    Hell, I remember when my girlfriend was tired of the life with her man and she wanted us to rob his storage so she could have enough to leave him. I left that fool alone!!! I was not getting involved in that mess.

    Point is that they never want to give it. The ones that do then we never know their business. Sister leave while you can and get off your a** and do something for yourself vs waiting for all of you getting hurt one way or another.

    Ummm...NO!

    10/21/09, 15:43:pm

    Please stop advising this FAKE ***** letter. This letter sounds soooo suspect. It is only meant to get a rise out of you all. And EVERYONE took the bait…

    Yes, there are women who are in this situation, but you best believe they wouldn’t feel the need to ask for advice from BOSSIP of all places, knowing they will get ***** handed to them LMAO!!!

    Ummm...NO!

    10/21/09, 15:44:pm

    *their* ***** handed to them

    Choco

    10/21/09, 15:44:pm

    Give me a sec on the phone I owe responese

    drenk

    10/21/09, 15:47:pm

    @ Ummm…NO!

    i said the same thing earlier! Sounds like “Dear Abby” bull***** and youd have to be stupid to ask bossip for help

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 15:48:pm

    @mzprettylady

    Yes, I agree on both sides of us lucking up. It hasn’t always been easy and we have had our problems, but are trying to stick it out as best we can. Thanks for the compliment!

    AJ

    10/21/09, 15:50:pm

    Shut up and grow up. I go to work everyday and raise my two kids. Get a job. He can get a job. Tie and burn those tubes. And work hard like everyone else. $50 each goes to a 529 plan for my children monthly. You know what you are supposed to be doing with this man. But you do what you wanna.

    You are living wrong. Own it.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 15:53:pm

    @Alrighty
    Pray for her and maybe distance yourself you wouldn’t want to become a victim by *****ociation…real talk!

    Mahogany

    10/21/09, 15:57:pm

    Your kids come first. It sounds like you are exposing them to potential harm if you are concerned for the safety and well-being of your partner. You never know what the cir*****stances might bring. We get so caught up in money and materialist beings when we tend to miss the big picture. What happens if your partner or you gets implicated with criminal charges? Since you did mention that whatever you guys are involved in is not legit. You know…you could go down with him too right? Then your kids are left without parents because they wanted to make fast and easy money. What kinda of a living can you provide for you and your kids should your partner be no longer able to provide? If you are losing sleep at night honey…it’s clear that you aren’t making the right decision. If he doesn’t feel the need to get out the game and won’t put anything away for a rainy day—then the current situation does you and your children NO GOOD. Should something happen to him tomorrow you will have NOTHING. Have you thought about the example you guys are setting for your little girls and soon to be son? I think you know what you need to do…you just don’t want to do it.

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 16:03:pm

    @Choco

    @Alrighty
    Pray for her and maybe distance yourself you wouldn’t want to become a victim by *****ociation…real talk!
    —————————————————–
    Yes, I do pray for her, and I (try) to hold my tongue unless she asks me for my advice… I moved across the country 6 yrs ago, so I only see her a couple of times a year… Distancing myself from my old life has made all of the difference in my own…

    Tina

    10/21/09, 16:06:pm

    I am in that same position, except mines is doing 25 to life. I understand were she is coming from, but when you have a relationship with someone in that lifestyle, you cannot be naive, you have too realize that, with that lifestyle, anything can happen. That means prison or worse. You have too get up do for you and your children, because you never know what’s going too happen. Luckily for me, I did not depend solely on him, I had a job and made sure if anything happened too him, I was able too take care of my child with out him. I know how you are feeling, because even too this day, I still love him very much, but I can’t worry about where he is, I have too think about me and my child. I will definitely pray for you and your kids.

    Choco

    10/21/09, 16:11:pm

    @Alrighty
    Well you are blessed to be on the right track continue to count your blessings and since you have her in prayer not much more you can do but it’s a sad situation becuz that type life will blow up in your face in seconds and she they have children that can suffer from that it sickens my stomach to think of what can happen and on the real that life does not last for anyone…

    I'm Just Me: Keeping It Real Since 1983

    10/21/09, 16:12:pm

    @ alrighty then–

    IJM is a BEAST in Mafia Wars!

    ***********************************************************

    CHURCH!!!

    Illuminated One

    10/21/09, 16:12:pm

    @Tina

    If only everyone had the determination that you do. Keep your head up and don’t stop doing what you are doing!

    Choco

    10/21/09, 16:12:pm

    @Tina
    You have really put this into a nice perspective and I can appreciate the realness you spoke on…

    The natural

    10/21/09, 16:14:pm

    Boy, lots of responses to this! But here’s the TRUE REALITY…seven years so far? Well, go ahead and stay with him and continue to enjoy the materialistic things that make you feel like he’s a good provider. Stay. Because eventually you won’t have to leave him because THE COPS are gonna make him leave you! WAKE UP!

    Rihanna's sharp n pointy witchy fingernails took the oath

    10/21/09, 16:17:pm

    I bet that’s Kigali’s lil trifling ***** writing in on her sorry ***** life.

    drenk

    10/21/09, 16:26:pm

    @ Rihanna’s sharp n pointy witchy fingernails took the oath

    i cant imagine someone wanting to ***** that on the regular, or at all

    Tonney

    10/21/09, 16:26:pm

    I would set a plan in place that look something like this: 1)take out a term life insurance policy on the children’s father for $1 million plus (term insurance is cheap)with or with out his consent. Also get yourself some insurance. 2) Purchase a house for your family. 3)Start a business. For example,purchase investment property there are plenty of good deals out there trust me. 4) Set some money aside. 5) Plan your exit strategy with or without him. If you both work together you might be able to make a smooth transition. If not, focus on you and have some for yourself. Good luck.

    Please

    10/21/09, 16:30:pm

    Instead of saying “He’s too smart for that” you need to be thinking about yourself. Sounds like you fell for a drug dealer and now you are stuck. Im not trying to be rude at all but it has to be said. These are the things you think about BEFORE you lay down and have kids with dudes of “questionable” character. NOT AFTER.

    Good luck, wish you all he best.

    704

    10/21/09, 16:34:pm

    Can YOU handle it when the Federal Judge gives him 240 months and a baby on the way!!!! Hun I’ve been there dont that!! You need a job if you already have one then get a better one cause your gonna need it to take care of 3 kids. I stopped at 1 child my son does not really understand the struggle cause my job provides well but he understands that Momma gets up every morning if I want to or not and goes to work and I tell him no one should take care of you and go to college go to work or run your own business (legal) like I do and find a woman who will do the same!! You are providing a bad example for the 2 girls now a son pls change your life!! THE DOPE GAME IS DEAD!!! 70% of our men are in cause of this game…I understand that its hard for him to leave but if you dont luv yourself enough luv the kids enough to do better.

    KatrinaME

    10/21/09, 16:37:pm

    Dear Majority of Bossip Commenters:

    I’m pleased that the fate of humanity does not rest in your hands. *****hats.

    my own

    10/21/09, 16:37:pm

    I normally do not comment on these posts, but this one struck close to home. I too have a man with a complex occupation which has afforded me and our 3 children with a very comfortable lifestyle. My point of this is that I enjoy having nice cars, a beautiful home and the vacations, but I also have used these finances to set up education funds for my children and actually finishing graduate school and furthering my education because I know that one day this can all go away, and luckily when it will or I decide to walk away I will be able to.

    brainsmasher

    10/21/09, 16:39:pm

    It was cool when you first got together. Now it is not so cool. It’s too late to turn back now. No man wants to come in at this point and *****ume another man’s rsponsibilities. You are an accomplice in this criminal enterprise. You supported this activity for years; and you brought children into this lifestyle and put them at risk. Why weren’t you asking yourself these questions 7 years ago?

    Haitian Sensation

    10/21/09, 16:41:pm

    I feel bad for this chick because the reality of things is that she already knows that she don’t want to be there anymore. I’ve been in a situation like this, and there is no way you can’t tell someone that’s been getting their papers however they’ve been getting it to change!!! If anything she is gonna agravate him and he is not going to understand why she is acting like that all of the sudden…I wouldn’t… not after 7 years and 3 kids, what she should have been doing is getting HERSELF together so when ( see how I said when and not if because baby girl it is going to happen…if he doesn’t plan to back down) s”"t hits the fan, she can still provide for her kids. LADIES, DO NOT DEPEND ON A MAN TO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS UNDER ANY CIR*****STANCES….I DON’T CARE WHAT HE DOES OR WHAT HE BRINGS IN, YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE IN A MAN’S HANDS. While you are being a “kept” woman, honey, get an education, get a career, and spread your wings, so you can stand by your man and be there for him when needed. You can’t trust your livelyhood to no niccas, boo. Take it from me, and yes “the coldest winter ever” would be a good book for you to read. Just be sure that you stay on top of the situation and instead on focusing on him so much, focus on the well being of your children and yours and get your own money so y’all can be straight!

    Jlove

    10/21/09, 16:47:pm

    WHO SAID THIS GIRL IS BLACK??????

    Keda69

    10/21/09, 16:48:pm

    Well i can relate i been in the same situation its very hard because your stuck in a pretty hard situation u love him, but do you leave him? Thats your baby father he is your everything but,like i said to him FAST $ DONT LAST 2 @ LONG!!!!!!

    Jlove

    10/21/09, 16:51:pm

    No where did she mention her race or her husbands. I know this is Bossip and all…but she could be white and him black or vice versa….alot of women of all races are in this boat!

    SIMPLY ME

    10/21/09, 16:55:pm

    Tina

    I am in that same position, except mines is doing 25 to life. I understand were she is coming from, but when you have a relationship with someone in that lifestyle, you cannot be naive, you have too realize that, with that lifestyle, anything can happen. That means prison or worse. You have too get up do for you and your children, because you never know what’s going too happen. Luckily for me, I did not depend solely on him, I had a job and made sure if anything happened too him, I was able too take care of my child with out him. I know how you are feeling, because even too this day, I still love him very much, but I can’t worry about where he is, I have too think about me and my child. I will definitely pray for you and your kids.

    ANOTHER STATISTIC HERE GUYS.LOL

    kigali

    10/21/09, 16:59:pm

    @SIMPLY ME

    How about you not have your ***** open for someone who got locked up for 25 years. ***** you arent a hero. You are some black female that *****ed up, as per usual, now you have to pick up the pieces and the only victim in this situation is your poor child. Hopefully when he or she grows up, he will write you a letter saying how much of a dumb***** your were for picking a loser to be their father.

    PLEASE GO ON BIRTH CONTROL. I am sick of black females like you have children. Youre an utter waste.

    kigali

    10/21/09, 17:01:pm

    @SIMPLY ME

    How how cr***** and trashy of you to write “LOL” after having admitted that you are a statistic? Do you think your child is LOL because their mother is a *****ing idiot and their father is in prison? DO you think that ***** is LOL to them? Heartless black *****.

    PLEASE GO ON BIRTH CONTROL. I WILL PAY FOR IT.

    Alrighty Then...

    10/21/09, 17:08:pm

    @Hatian Sensation -

    “LADIES, DO NOT DEPEND ON A MAN TO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND YOUR KIDS UNDER ANY CIR*****STANCES….I DON’T CARE WHAT HE DOES OR WHAT HE BRINGS IN, YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE IN A MAN’S HANDS.”
    —————————————————–
    YOU BETTA PREACH! No truer words have been spoken in this post. Get your own, keep your own, always!!

    kigali

    10/21/09, 17:09:pm

    Dont you just love the black ***** narrative:

    I was young dumb, and thinking with my *****. I got hooked up with a drug dealing low life thug. We had all kinds of fun together. I was his ride or die chick. I used to hide his drugs in my stankin *****. I got pregnant. Jesus knows I love to have unprotected sex with a ***** that been in jail. And then we had a baby. I named in D’vontaninjalo. Then my baby daddy got locked up so I had to do this all on my own. I am such a strong and independent black woman.

    The End.

    Yeah whatever *****. Some months ago a white politician in New Orleans by the name of Rep John La Bruzzo offered to pay you *****es $1,000 to get your tubes tide. I think you should take him up on the offer.

    Re

    10/21/09, 17:16:pm

    Rep John La Bruzzo offered to pay you *****es $1,000 to get your tubes tide.
    ______________________________________________________

    @Kigali

    Did he offer you anything to get an education?

    Kigali

    10/21/09, 17:16:pm

    @Haitian Sensation

    You pathetic *****. I know your Haitian parents didnt teach you that bull*****. A woman better be able to depend on the man she decided to have a child with. Thats what you call a MARRIAGE that is what you call a FAMILY. Macaque.

    ShellyBoo

    10/21/09, 17:18:pm

    I have a cousin in the same situation…She even had to move half way around the country for him because of his “occupation” Now shes broke! 3kids! and working at home depot to support herself and her 3 kids and he’s in a mexican prison! Not to say working at Home Depot is a bad thing but it’s a HUGE
    change of lifestyle for all of them! Just be smart about things and if he doesn’t put $ aside for u guys, you do it yourself!!!

    Tone

    10/21/09, 17:20:pm

    You are *****ed. If your fella’s attitude is that of “I know what I’m doing so don’t worry about it,” you’re *****ed. If you haven’t saved any money to bail out, you’re *****ed. You’re pregnant and can’t get a job even if you wanted to, so you’re *****ed. Even if he’s hustling something other than drugs, you’re implying that whatever he’s doing is illegal so eventually, he’s going down by law or streets… *****ed. Even if the dude doesn’t get caught and gets out, he seems to not care what you think and doesn’t value your input on the relationship so imagine him having respect for you at all. So he just may upgrade to kid-free youngin’ to smash. In that case you’re *****ed anyway and not in the good way your successor will be getting *****ed.

    Start thinking about yourself. You’re *****ed anyway, especially if you’ve “grown accustomed” to money. ***** probably tell you, “You don’t trip when you burnin’ down the mall.”

    Don’t even think about trying to replace the dude. Ain’t no dude in his right mind with money is ever going to settle for a broke chick with kids who is only used to the kind of ***** you puttin up with right now. That’s a train wreck waiting to happen.

    I would feel bad for you if I didn’t grow up with chicks just like you. You probably p*****ed up “Marcus,” the good-looking dude with the good grades and nice attitude, who wasn’t even a nerd, but he wasn’t “Ole Boy.” Thugged out swaggeriffic ***** dude who stayed on bull*****.

    I used to be “Ole Boy” until I got locked down. Then I straightened out my ***** and got “Marcus” on you *****es.

    You should consider getting out of the relationship now. Use some of your shopping money and pay for a two-year college. Use your shopping money to start your kids’ fund. Use your shopping money to do something useful. Don’t even call it shopping money, just use it to straighten your *****.

    Man, I just don't care™

    10/21/09, 17:20:pm

    So exactly what is the problem here? Why is she confused?

    Just sit back and enjoy his money like you have been for as long as you can. Worry about what ever issue that arises…WHEN IT ARISES.

    You can’t cross a bridge until you get there.

    Been there

    10/21/09, 17:21:pm

    I have been in this situation before and it wasn’t until I decided it was not what I wanted. I thank God I didn’t have kids. Ultimately regardless of what anybody on here as to say, it’s about your children and you. I want you to look on the web for an organization call Family’s Against Mandatory Minimums and check out their. I found this site from someone personally. Maybe when you see all the people who’s life have been destroyed just by being affiliated with some people, it’ll help with your decision. God be with you and your family!

    MS AJJE

    10/21/09, 17:28:pm

    Al of you self righteous bishes need to shut that ***** down this girl was probably young when they started and has now grown into a woman and sees the error of her ways. If you were young fly and from the hood you dated a “pharmacist” too because I know I did. The only thing you can do now honey is leave because when the cops kick in the door your man aint the only one going to jail and if someone else kick in the door they aint leaving no witnesses. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and if he is a real man he will find a better way to take care of them or lose them.

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 17:43:pm

    @choco, Kigali is a woman. You know it is possible for people to actually meet outside of a board. Kigali doesn’t malign black women, just those black females some of you guys like yourself love to give p*****es to and make excuses for. Yea Kigali has a potty mouth, lol, but she keeps it straight and real. “Oh why Kigali has to call her a *****?, why doesn’t Kigali like baby mamas?” Hell, our community is guilty of accepting this crap and celebrating it. Damn!! The reason why most of yall hate Kigali is because you know shes right and you are probably doing this crap in your own lives and to your own children. Believe it or not most people agree with her.

    Kigali

    10/21/09, 17:46:pm

    @Ms AJ JE

    So it is universally true that all young black females are stupid when they are young. Funny, if daddy was around I doubt they would be dealing with drug dealing Tyrone.How about you *****es close your legs and open a book.

    Yes and if she were a real woman she would have ONLY dealt with a real man.

    ........

    10/21/09, 17:47:pm

    Choco

    If you thing Kigali is bad, pray to God that Marquis de Sade doesn’t show up. He’s been known to bring the Apocalypse with him when it comes to these sorta threads.

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 17:47:pm

    @miss ajje, “Al of you self righteous bishes need to shut that ***** down this girl was probably young when they started and has now grown into a woman and sees the error of her ways.”

    ****It has nothing to do with being self righteous. Its called knowing right and wrong and making wise choices. When I was younger I didn’t feel like I was entitled to do anything I wanted because Im good looking and had it going on. I knew in my teens that wrong choices led to bad consequences. This trick did all this mess because she wanted to and didn’t give a damn about the kids involved.

    Kigali

    10/21/09, 17:48:pm

    @Re,

    Use my typos are far more immoral than having a thug ***** in your *****.

    The Real Housewife of BK

    10/21/09, 18:05:pm

    That ISH went out in the 90’s..There r no more money makin drug dealers anymore. HELLO

    Please

    10/21/09, 18:13:pm

    @Tone

    Don’t even think about trying to replace the dude. Ain’t no dude in his right mind with money is ever going to settle for a broke chick with kids who is only used to the kind of ***** you puttin up with right now. That’s a train wreck waiting to happen.

    I would feel bad for you if I didn’t grow up with chicks just like you. You probably p*****ed up “Marcus,” the good-looking dude with the good grades and nice attitude, who wasn’t even a nerd, but he wasn’t “Ole Boy.” Thugged out swaggeriffic ***** dude who stayed on bull*****.

    I used to be “Ole Boy” until I got locked down. Then I straightened out my ***** and got “Marcus” on you *****es.

    You should consider getting out of the relationship now. Use some of your shopping money and pay for a two-year college. Use your shopping money to start your kids’ fund. Use your shopping money to do something useful. Don’t even call it shopping money, just use it to straighten your *****.
    ==================================================

    This some real talk right here. I know it seems harsh. But its really what this chic needs to be hearing. Because Tone broke it down. Good looking out homie. You came real my dude.

    Dr. Heather

    10/21/09, 18:26:pm

    This is a dumb ***** chick right here! I co-sign on everything most of you all said. Three kids? I’ll say it again…you are one stupid *****.

    Start stacking…get an education…move out and get your own home, and do for yourself and your children. You will NOT change this man…

    As someone said up top, he ain’t no *****ing ‘good father’ or ’sort of husband’ as you called him…he’s a *****ing drug dealer with 3 kids and a wifey. You should want better for yourself and your daughters.

    Once again…you are stupid ***** *****.

    Toni

    10/21/09, 18:27:pm

    Wise up sister…. If you accepted his “occupation” from the start of the relationship and conceived two children…. it’s a little too late to start your concerns…. and you are concerned about this third one, what about the first two that is living the lifestyle right now….. And trust me you can have sex without getting pregnant it’s called “birth control”, “the shot” etc….

    Young Lady

    10/21/09, 18:30:pm

    This is where my problem lies:
    ” It’s not that I feel unsafe or fear for the safety of my family, but I fear for his and really just need this to end!

    See first off that should be the #1 reason you are stresed. Then you don’t wanna bring the 3rd child in this life because of the stress when you shouldn’t have been stressed after the 1st child. I couldn,t live my life wondering if my man is coming home or dead! I wouldn’t want to keep looking over my shoulders wondering who’s watching me and mines plotting on me and my kids life for the sake of the almighty dollar ***** please!

    Toni

    10/21/09, 18:30:pm

    That’s a damn shame…..

    Young Lady

    10/21/09, 18:33:pm

    It seems like she is putting this man before her kids safety. And boo why aren’t they married yet that alone should tell you something

    ern

    10/21/09, 18:40:pm

    Whoever wrote this letter is a hot ghetto mess. You JUST found out you’re SIX months pregnant???? Did you forget about you period for 6 months? Do you not go to the doctor regularly??? Let me teach you a lesson you should have learned in grade school: if you have sex without any kind of protection habitually, you’re probably going to get pregnant.

    Moving on, what are you doing with you life? you married a drug dealer or whatever and now you wanna change him. He’ll go to jail before that happens. Get a job and bounce.

    RJ

    10/21/09, 18:49:pm

    If you have to ask a blog site or anyone for that matter what YOU should do, then most likely you already know what you should do.

    Do you really want your two girls to end up with someone like their dad?

    Get a job, go back to school and be that role model your kids can be proud of. Stop being so co-dependent. Stand up on your own two feet. No it will not be easy, but hey…welcome to LIFE…

    Peace…

    Sanjor

    10/21/09, 19:06:pm

    @Kigali, “D’vontaninjalo”
    ________________________________________________
    dead, just dead, lol

    Dede_Babi

    10/21/09, 19:35:pm

    omg this osund like one of them urban ghetto books like a zane novel.lol

    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWSHADDAAAP!!!!!!

    10/21/09, 19:40:pm

    If you’re that *****ing stupid to spread your legs for some smarmy-***** criminal perpetuating the race-killing drug cycle in the Black community AND have not one but TWO kids with ANOTHER on the way (what the *****?!?), your simple ***** deserves every downfall coming to you. You and your criminal boyfriend are Judases to your race. EPIC FAIL. Save your tears for somebody who gives a *****.

    I know Bossip posted this bogus letter but that’s my heart-felt reaction to sistas who get themselves caught up in this bull*****. Oooooo, gotta have a ruffneck.

    Missy

    10/21/09, 19:43:pm

    Honey….stack some chips and ROLL!!! I am in 13 years….SAME EXACT SIUTATION..My hose has been robbed three times, I have moved countless times, he has been shoot three different times…and there is SOOOOOOO MUCH MORE…HE IS CURRENTLY LOCKED UP…..WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN TO YOU AND THE KIDS TO MAKE YOU REALIZE THAT IT IS ALL GOING TO END …..ONE WAY OR I THINK YOU KNOW THE OTHER!!!!!! Good Luck Honey!!

    ***** Please

    10/21/09, 19:52:pm

    You need to get the ***** out of there before someone decides to pull a gorilla game move and come up in your home and leave everyone dead including them kids …

    This might sound harsh, but in the drug game mother*****ers do not think in a rational manner

    … Love ain’t got ***** to do with your safety and future existence, so quit the bull***** – before you make the news with people lighting candles and leaving balloons with your name on it…

    Slide Like A Fresh Pair of Gators

    10/21/09, 20:00:pm

    That ISH went out in the 90’s..There r no more money makin drug dealers anymore. HELLO
    ____________________________________________

    @The Real Housewife of BK

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NO BULLSH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ni@@a ain’t selling drugs like THAT no more, ni@@a PLEASE!!! GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE!!! LMAO!!!

    How do I know, a grew up with hustlers!!!
    And if they ain’t dead, they just came out a few years ago or so, etc…

    A few ni@@as is dibblin’ & dabblin’ but it ain’t DAMN SURE ain’t the LATE 80’s or EARLY 90’s…

    SMH at the validity of this story…

    Niccsz

    10/21/09, 22:21:pm

    Dear Tired, Pregnant, and Confused:
    I understand how you feel. I was in your situathe kids. And i know you prolly are scared to leave b/c you don’t want your kids to be without their father. Low and behold, with the life he’s leading they will one day soon. So your best bet is to take the money you get from him and put it to the side and invest in your own business. No one ever said you have to wait for him. If he’s getting crazy money the way he is, he won’t want to leave the streets and by time he makes up in his mind that he should, it will be too late. You can always invest in yourself and start a business doing what you feel your best at. With him making the money now, when he is finally ready to stop being in the streets, you will be well established and ya’ll can chill back and relax. Nothing is ever one sided. If you can go to college online, you can start a business the same way. Look it up online for what your next move should be.

    Christine

    10/21/09, 22:24:pm

    1. Have your baby first. Make sure that you and the children are ok.
    2. Put money away yourself. If he lets you manage it, “you” put money aside. Don’t depend on him to do it.
    3. Make sure that if he should suddenly “not be around” that you have money, and a roof over your head for you and the children.
    4. Do you work? Can you work? (if I missed that part, I’m sorry) Can you make enough money yourself and your family so that he does not have To “work” to provide for you. If you have not taken steps so that you can help with your famiy finances, he may feel he has no choice in an effort to take care of you all.
    5. If the answer to #4 is “no” and he does not beat you or hurt the children, and if you and your children are in no danger due to the “elements” of his profession, unless you want to go on welfare, and divide up your family, stay where you are, and be supportive until you can convince him to do otherwise, or until you have a job or some other means of making money so that he does not hve to “work”.
    6.(#1, really) Pray, and put the matter in God’s hands, and trust in His wisdon.
    Christine

    God

    10/21/09, 23:06:pm

    Christine

    Don’t put in this. I ain’t got ***** to with this thug lovin’ hoe’s bull*****. Ask Satan to help her ***** out.

    Sum

    10/22/09, 00:59:am

    You should leave. I don’t think there is any question about that.
    I think the nice response by Bossip was respectful, but a bit unclear.

    Sure, they don’t want to tell you what to do with your life but you asked a question that requires a simple answer.
    Of course what comes with the action of either choice is not simple at all.

    But either way your kids are paying, and your KIDS, not you or your love for him, YOUR KIDS should come first.

    They did not ask to be brought into this world or into this situation and you should not drag them along your complicated situation with their father.
    You need to make a decision for yourself and sacrifice.

    Move in with family or friends, get a job. Figure it out.

    He will probably not change. Not to be rude, but that is the truth that most women are too naive to understand.
    He will NOT change. No matter how much you nag or ask.

    I was raised by a single mom who stripped and escorted for a living.
    You’d never know it if you met her because she knows how to carry herself publicly.
    But in my twenties now, looking back at the situation she had us in I do not believe it was smart of her to allow us to stay in that environment.
    I don’t hold a grudge but I’m using this to express how important it is that you think of your children first and knock the naivety out of you thinking that your kids are safe.

    If he really *****es someone off, they go for the family.
    How could you not know that? Deny that?

    Get smart quick and leave your emotions for him aside, because when you decided to have 3 kids you signed up to be their protector, and right now you are not doing that.

    div

    10/22/09, 07:09:am

    Juust stay were you are cos that guy ain’t gonna let you go.And Pray your god he doesn’t find out about this letter.cos he will roast your *****z.

    resurrected

    10/22/09, 07:28:am

    illuminated one and mzprettylady

    Thanks for your words they mean more than you know…

    BigD

    10/22/09, 09:02:am

    Perhaps she should have thought of the implications of being in a relationship with this man before she decided to start a family with him. No matter what she decides to do in her relationship, the safety and welfare of her children should always come first and I highly doubt the children will take well to the possibility of a raid or having him gunned down somewhere. Not to mention the strain its putting on her and her unborn child. My heart goes out to all of them. God bless.

    Bossip.com » Archive Love and Relationships: Do I Leave or Stay? « - Pasarici.NET Blog

    10/22/09, 09:10:am

    [...] here: Bossip.com » Archive Love and Relationships: Do I Leave or Stay? « Share and [...]

    PushaT

    10/22/09, 10:57:am

    Boo! This isnt the apollo so get off the stage. She obviously was attracted to the fast life and the money when she met him. She obviously has no job/education because if she did she would not have needed a person like who she is with in her life to support herself or for support. Don’t put the blame on him who is doing what he may have to do to feed his golddigging wife and his children. We don’t know his situation. It sounds like the REAL PROBLEM is that she is scared that if he gets caught where is the money that she is soo used to getting for looking pretty and laying on her back like the hoe she really is going to come from(at least while she still may look like something someone else would want). People (Mostly women) make these complaint but all their life chase after the same type of man, some one who makes lots of money and fast.. it just so happens to be that his way of doing it is illegal… at least for the time being. So now that he may possibly go to jail you want to leave him. Where is his support? How about the stress that he goes through. The worries of being killed or robbed or going to jail, the h*****le of dealing with strange customers/suppliers as if he doesn’t think of that. Believe me he does. People always see the glorified part of his story, don’t let the music video misinterpret the hustle. If you’ve been stressing all week grinding dealing with the things i’ve mentioned above, why not spend the money that you know your going to jail for on nice things. You can’t take it to hell or heavan. Why didn’t she leave when she found out what his occupation was… it obviously wasn’t a problem after the first two children.. Typical of women, who really had one thing on their mind Money and Power. Sounds like she may be a kardashian

    PushaT

    10/22/09, 11:03:am

    This site shoud be called BOSSIP for WOMEN! All of sudden everyone thinks their opinion matters. Like as if everyone has dated a man who does/did the same thing. And if you did, believe you know why you did it… can we say… nice cars, clothes, and plenty cash.. All the things you need to attract a HOE! Like PIMP C said, “get ya mind right *****”

    WIFEY06

    10/22/09, 12:14:pm

    BEEN THERE DONE THAT. TOLD HIM I HAD TO ROLL; MY LIFE COULD NOT BE LIKE THAT. DOING WELL HE IS IN CONSTRUCTION NOW.

    HE COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT HIS FAMILY. IT TOOK TIME BUT IF YOU SHOW HIM YOU MEAN IT HE WILL WEIGH HIS OPTIONS AND HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MAKE A DECISION AT SOME POINT. ( IF HE IS A SMART MAN LIKE YOU SAY)
    VALUE YOURSELF AND YOUR KIDS BEFORE MONEY BECAUSE YOU CANNOT BUY A LIFE!!!!!!!!

    Cindy

    10/22/09, 13:44:pm

    My question to her is how would you like it if your son grows up in his father’s footsteps? I dont think you even think about that and if you do,then why are you having children with someone who is willing to comprimise his family for his lifestyle and decisions. That speaks volumes of how far along he is willing to go for you guys. This is an eye opener leave! If he took responsiblity he would go back to school and get a legit job. There are thousands of people who go back to school at an older age. They get their stuff together and become prroductive and proud of their accomplishments. What is his execuse? He doesnt have the time? Instead he needs to look at his children and think there has to be a better way. You are acting like you dont know what to do when in fact you do follow that gut feeling and become independent because literally you are a slave to his money.

    lala land

    10/22/09, 14:27:pm

    If you really do want to leave, you need to have one more talk with your manand let him know that ur leaving, if he objects that on him. But ur kids are going to be extremely *****ed up if u stay, b/c he’s definitely going to prison sooner rather than later, if he isnt killed first, thats just the reality for someone who refuses to change.

    You need to forget him, like he’s clearly forgetten you, and think about ur kids, cuz once u become a parent ur not living for urself anymore, ur living for those children. They deserve to have a stable homelife with a mother who can take care or herself and them. One good paretn id waaaaaay better than two *****ed up parents.

    KYE

    10/22/09, 19:11:pm

    SOME OF YOU PEOPLE CAN CRITICIZE HER FOR THE MISTAKES SHE HAS MADE BUT NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT GOD. GOD IS THE ONLY ONE TO JUDGE AND I AM PRETTY SURE YOU ALL HAVE MADE MISTAKES ALSO AND DIDNT WANT TO BE PUT DOWN BUT UPLIFTED. I DO SYMPATHIZE WITH HER AND ASK GOD TO DELIVER HER FROM THIS SITUATION FOR THE SAKE OF HER CHILDREN. SOME OF YOU CALLING HER OUT OF HER NAME BUT HOW DO YOU THINK YOU SOUND AS AN ADULT SAYING SUCH TACKY WORDS. WHAT WE ALL SHOULD BE DOING IS PRAYING FOR HER NOT DOWNING HER. I KNOW THIS WEBSITE IS GHETTO BUT TO TALK GHETTO AND BE GHETTO WITH IT IS SILLY. I PRAY AND HOPE THAT SHE FIND THE STRENGTH TO WALK AWAY BECAUSE IT CAN’T BE EASY FOR HER AND I PRAY THAT GOD HAS MERCY ON EVERYONE SOULD THAT WANTS TO JUDGE HER LIFE!

    KYE

    10/22/09, 19:14:pm

    SOME OF YOU PEOPLE CAN CRITICIZE HER FOR THE MISTAKES SHE HAS MADE BUT NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT GOD. GOD IS THE ONLY ONE TO JUDGE AND I AM PRETTY SURE YOU ALL HAVE MADE MISTAKES ALSO AND DIDNT WANT TO BE PUT DOWN BUT UPLIFTED. I DO SYMPATHIZE WITH HER AND ASK GOD TO DELIVER HER FROM THIS SITUATION FOR THE SAKE OF HER CHILDREN. SOME OF YOU CALLING HER OUT OF HER NAME BUT HOW DO YOU THINK YOU SOUND AS AN ADULT SAYING SUCH TACKY WORDS. WHAT WE ALL SHOULD BE DOING IS PRAYING FOR HER NOT DOWNING HER. I KNOW THIS WEBSITE IS GHETTO BUT TO TALK GHETTO AND BE GHETTO WITH IT IS SILLY. I PRAY AND HOPE THAT SHE FIND THE STRENGTH TO WALK AWAY BECAUSE IT CAN’T BE EASY FOR HER AND I PRAY THAT GOD HAS MERCY ON EVERYONE SOUL THAT WANTS TO JUDGE HER LIFE!
    We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.

    cm

    10/23/09, 00:43:am

    Sadly, I have been there & done that! LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t give a f*ck if U have just 2cents. get out! The longer U stay the longer it will truly f*ck your children up! & last but certainly NOT least. If U are married & he goes 2 jail they WILL ***** every damn thing he has No matter if it is in your name or NOT! Remember they will look into your bank accounts (if U have any) as well. they will tk the cars, etc. & then they will even try to prosecute U if they have the slightest feeling U knew, which obvioulously U do! LEAVE NOW, all $ is definitely NOT good $. & a peace of mind is definitely a better feeling!!!!!!

    Kelli

    10/23/09, 15:59:pm

    I’m Speaking from lessons learned If you love him stay with him also get your self together{save the money he gives you and get yopurself a JOB} so that if he goes to jail you can depend on you and tell him if he goes to jail you cant be his lady but you help him out{bring the children to see him money sometimes} if you can because your children need you to be strong when and if this happens to go down

    Thatdamnrican

    10/24/09, 22:16:pm

    I don’t feel the need to curse you or call you out of your name like some of these obviously ignorant ***** mother*****ers on here (acting like their momma wasn’t a *****ing crackhead at some point, judging on how they are responding…). But PLEASE understand that no amount of love you have for him should over-shadow the love you have for your kids or the unborn child.

    Your worst nightmare could come true if the DEA or Feds come knocking, because they no longer believe that women do not know what their men are doing, so you become a part of the madness; is this the life you really want to live?

    Find a safe haven for you and your kids Boo, cause “everything is good till the cops come.”

    Southerner

    10/29/09, 19:23:pm

    Imagine all these judgmental folks posting all this insensitive garbage. Look young lady i know i’m late posting; but you wanna know something *****ody addressed the fact that you love this man. I need everyone to understand LOVE. Its makes the Its ur decisions that make the difference. We all take chances on a daily basis; so ur taking a chance. And what? that dosent make you stupid or ignorant. All that ur doing spells LOVE.

    OHIOLOVEJONES

    2/2/10, 10:37:am

    Im not about to call this person names,but thats not needed. Everyone is accountable for the people they choose,but end up blaming men,women and white people when thier choice doesnt work out.Can you spell IRRESPONSIBLE. Easier said then done because you are deeply involved with him,but leave. There’s no reason a woman should ever want to be with a man being a street guy,but thats just not reality.
    Look he’s not a good man,good father,so stop trying to convince people he is. Not saying he’s satan,but lets get real here.As far as the women being educated,education has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of man a sista will choose. how many legally working,college degreed women are involved and married to men selling drugs?. you already know the answer. The truth is just so hard to take in the black community. for the women,that are or were in her shoes,dont even try and justify her actions. Every time you go to a site like essence,blackamerica web,cnn and you hear chatter about the lack of available brothas. forget about the numbers,you choose who you want to choose. drug dealers get swooped up just as often as poeple go to the bathroom.

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