Jesus Take The Wheel

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Categories: Jesus Take The Wheel, News

Posted by Bossip Staff

This is Alan Patton, Urine Connoisseur:

Police charged a northwest Columbus man with criminal mischief for allegedly planning to collect young boys’ urine and drink it. Alan Patton was recently spotted in restrooms at Sports Ohio two weeks ago. According to a police report, Patton, 56, the female employee recognized him as the same man she saw the previous week “putting Saran Wrap on toilets and cups in urinals.”

The employee called police and found Patton walking out of a restroom stall with a black duffle bag.

In 1994, Patton pleaded guilty to a charge of gross sexual imposition against an 8-year-old boy. He served four years in prison and was labeled a sex offender. Then, in 2006, Patton was caught at a Gahanna movie theater and was accused of watching little boys urinate. Police said that Patton admitted to collecting boys’ urine and even paid them for it. Patton was charged with voyeurism.

Police said that Patton would turn the water to the urinals off, place a cup inside and then collect the urine after a boy went to the bathroom.

Woah – this cat is highly deranged. Let’s get this straight, he’s a fan of the mellow yellow, who carries his contraband around in a duffel bag. Where have we heard this before?

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