Jesus Take The Wheel

Posted on June 30th, 2008 - By Bossip Staff

Categories: Jesus Take The Wheel, News

Posted by Bossip Staff

This is Alan Patton, Urine Connoisseur:

Police charged a northwest Columbus man with criminal mischief for allegedly planning to collect young boys’ urine and drink it. Alan Patton was recently spotted in restrooms at Sports Ohio two weeks ago. According to a police report, Patton, 56, the female employee recognized him as the same man she saw the previous week “putting Saran Wrap on toilets and cups in urinals.”

The employee called police and found Patton walking out of a restroom stall with a black duffle bag.

In 1994, Patton pleaded guilty to a charge of gross sexual imposition against an 8-year-old boy. He served four years in prison and was labeled a sex offender. Then, in 2006, Patton was caught at a Gahanna movie theater and was accused of watching little boys urinate. Police said that Patton admitted to collecting boys’ urine and even paid them for it. Patton was charged with voyeurism.

Police said that Patton would turn the water to the urinals off, place a cup inside and then collect the urine after a boy went to the bathroom.

Woah – this cat is highly deranged. Let’s get this straight, he’s a fan of the mellow yellow, who carries his contraband around in a duffel bag. Where have we heard this before?

Source

  • No Condom Needed(Aids,White People and The “Fanta” Soft-Drink Dancers, were all created in a lab)

    Lol Wow, He should sell his bodies part now, so his family can at least live decently, because he won’t last long in prison

  • Lisa

    ohhh YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK! Obviously, he is a very sick individual!

  • My son’s parole officer said it’s gonna be alright!

    He needs deliverance!!! That is soooo nasty!!!

  • locgirl

    gross,ewwwwwwwww

  • lil latte

    Who in the hell does this nasty stuff??? This man is sick

  • I’m Just Me

    LMAOOOOO!!! OMG! That is crazy. People are really freaky deaky out here! Collecting urine in a cup and drinking out. Isn’t that poisionous? There is no end to people’s craziness.

  • Aunt Viv

    JesusMaryandJoseph that may be one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard. Yeah, he won’t last long in jail-lil’ boy urine withdrawal n’ all…gross.

  • No Condom Needed(Aids,White People and The “Fanta” Soft-Drink Dancers, were all created in a lab)

    I thought he was running a false drug-testing pyramid scam

  • Moreaces

    I thought he was running a false drug-testing pyramid scam

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    **Dead**

  • Juicy R♥

    what a pervert!!!

    not to sound racist but white men think of the most outrageous sick stuff to do humans.

  • http://www.lakers.com M-DADDY OAKLAND’S FINEST AKA FBI(ALL SHADES OF BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL)

    He needed the pee to wash down the slice of sh&% he ate.

  • Aunt Viv

    LMAO@No Condom Needed!!!!!!

  • mojojojo

    mmmmmm Tangy!!! Lmao sorry i had to lmaoooooo

    sick ass cracker ass crackers lol

  • GO GETTA

    SICK A$$ MOFO.

  • Lauren

    Main Entry: scopophilia

    Part of Speech: n

    Definition: sexual stimulation or satisfaction from looking at naked people, most often without their knowledge; a love of looking at people in this way; also called scoptophilia, voyeurism

    Etymology: Greek skopeo ‘to view’

    ____________

    Wow I had to look that one up!

  • LoveMeBaby

    How are sick people like this allowed to continue to walk the streets. I hope someone hangs him upside down from his D**K when he gets to jail. Dumbass pedophiles.

  • Meeko From Detroit

    uh is that Negrodamus. im getting confused….whats happening to you bro. you provide my laugh of the day. i tell my internet friends to look out for you and then i see your pic on somebody else.

    is he a fake. give us the real Negrodamus

  • WhatsYoursIsMine

    What is it with sickos and their obessions of the underaged? Find someone your own age with your “preferences” and leave the unsuspecting children out of it.

  • glok9n

    I HOPE YOU BLK BYTCHES THAT SWIRL, I HOPE YOU DATING A FUKKER LIKE THIS TOILET BOWL! THIS FREAK OF NATURE!

  • Lauren

    @ Negrodamus, stop changing your name, be an original your other names are wack as hell anyway….we love you just the way you are… :lol:

  • Hannibal

    Just let the man be! If people actually want Obama to be president they mind as well let this guy go about his business!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    Man this is about one of the sickest human on the planet..everytime i see a white person i lock my car doors!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    @ Brooklyn…. whats up bro? @ slide like a new pair of gaters….. you in the building my man.. i just love typing out your name!!!

  • kprincessk

    lol @ urine connoissuer!

  • K-ten

    LOL @ ms braided beauty!!!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    K-ten… seriously, now thats what you call a phedophile, this man is really sick…do we have to start monitering our pee and shyt/ what has this world come to ….. this creep makes my man kellz look like a saint… and those phedophiles in the FLDS crap are some wack jobs for real… and they do it in the name of God… i dont even use those type of washroom i will find me a bush and let mother nature holla at me!!!! lol!!!!

  • BIN WA THE COUNSELOR MYSPACE.COM/THUGMILITIA

    THE BEAST DONT SLEEP WE HAVE TO STAY READY TO KILL ANY OF THESE F*CK BOYS WHO GO AFTER OUR CHILDREN!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    white folks really need jesus… they need to stop with the p@rn and strip clubs and putting others down and look into their own weird selves… b/c they are some sure nuff perverts and looney tunes!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    I know a woman who was a prostitute and told us a white man wanted to pay her watch him eat a shyt sandwich… no sex no nothing money to watch him eat that… HOW NASTY CAN YOU GET…everytime i see a white man i think of that perverted crap… is that stereotyping? i dont know but it took me a long time to get over hereing that .. i had nighmares!!!!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/mistikay GreenEyes

    This one got me speechless… no matter how nasty some creepy white dude is.. the scary thing…is there is a nastier one somewhere in this country.

    Put this pedo away for life..they can’t be treated y’all!!! Let the daddies in prison take care of them!

  • dqueen

    any relation to prostitute patton?

    Oh shoot, he the john who knocked up her brown hooker mother?

  • Nikki

    WOW…. I wonder what happened to him in his childhood…

  • kit

    A PRAYER LINE NEEDS TO BE FORM ASAP.He needs to leave the piss alone and cup of holy water

  • http://www.myspace.com/mistikay GreenEyes

    I think they should let their asses in the general population in prison… let all those daddies, big brothers..cousins…uncles..who love the children in their families…jack them perverts up!

    Protecting these fools is a joke..what about the children they violated?

  • I’m Just Me

    Yes. I deal with the Dept of Corrections and these pedophiles stay in a medium or minimum status facility. Those are the ones with no barb wire or fences at all. Why is that. These people are hurting our kids and getting away with this! Then they make parole the first time and all that but if you steal a loaf of bread to feed your family they are ready to throw you to the wolves. Why is that?

  • Doc

    Im sure he eats other things that i would not mention.

  • roger

    nothing satisfy that quenching thirst like a cold cup of piss.lol

  • dqueen

    thanks for sharing Ms Braided Beauty Chicago stepper.

    Now everyone can’t stop thinking that you is the Hoe who that happened to. Dang Hussy, you nasty right wit that old white man.

    He really do look just like that other light skin skook doh. Shoot, that really might be her dad! No wonder she all nasty tha fugly stupid looking bow-legged beech.

    shoot, no wonder.

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    Dqueen…sorry you hoe.. but i was sharing a real story and no i wasnt the person it happened too if i was some mofo would be in the ground… and nasty aint the word for that man but dont judge me and you dont know me im just sahring a story that was told me nasty or not thank you!!! but i got your hoe!

  • http://anonymous@yahoo.com anonymous

    im just me.. i dont know but some stupid idiots just never learn and always quick to judge before looking in the mirror andgoing from there!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    Dqueen… you are quick with the name calling but b*tch you dont know me so cut the shyt… dont address me unless you can be respectful… first of all i wasnt even talking to you so speak when spoken to or other wise shut your mouth when you hear grown folks tlak!

  • Its6amHoGetOut

    I see this guys picture and something about it isnt right, hmm lets see;

    1. 45-55 years old

    2. white

    3. posted in a black chat

    OH SH*T thats SMDH!

    I knew that was a white n*gga pretending to be a black woman!

  • dqueen

    now that I thinnk of it, he do look like some LAPD mofo!!!

  • memchee

    drinking young boys pee????

    he may doing that, but it’s most likely a cover for something else this chester is up to.

    Glad the justice system saw right through him.

  • Its6amHoGetOut

    @ Low Life B*tch,

    Can I have your autograph? I though i was the only person in here who thought anyone who supports RKelly’s child rapist ass was crazy, he aint gonna stop, they never do, next time the girl will come forward.

  • Its6amHoGetOut

    Better yet can I have a hug?

  • Its6amHoGetOut

    LOL 6am is clapping loudly!

  • dqueen

    AMEN!

  • dqueen

    why you gotta be the race card??

    you know that man got a black daughter too and she light-skinned fly.

  • dqueen

    i miss my boo…

  • Jeffer

    This guy has posted his personal ad to the wealthy dating site called RICHLOVING.COM for several months. I just visited his profile page yesterday. It seems he has logged in recently. OMG, is he looking for a new relationship?

  • Happy

    SHDH, please tell me what that means. Anyone?

  • DA TRUFF HURTZ!!!

    THANK YOU CAUCASIAN MAN!!!!!!!

  • tashagirl

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GROSS lock his ass up and dont let him out

  • salend

    he is a humor guy,many friends like to chat with him online on tall dating site ___T a l l m i n g l e . c o m___,He often told us some funny jokes. Seems he is famous on that site,especially some hot models talk with him positively.

  • SOUTH AFRICAN BOY

    R KELLY HAS NOTHING ON THIS DUDE

  • AriesChick

    ?

  • Jaxon

    Technically Roman Polansky, did not get away with it. He was convicted he just jumped bail and has not returned to the US. It is strange that Hollywierd still supports him though…he got some achievement award a while back (which he did not come to accept) and some ppl gave him the standing O and others were kinda confused..it was pretty funny..

    Anyway, wish Columbus coulda got a shout for something less creepy but hey…

    And RKelly is NO different than this dude (except this dude like boys instead) they are both sick but ppl forgive Kells cause he black… SMH

  • WordzOfaProphet (I wudn’t say it if I aint mean it)

    EWWWWW….seriously why in the hell would u wanna drink somebody’s piss. This dude is F*^cking disgusting. Sh!t like this is y I didn’t wanna have any kids. ppl are sick

  • outtapocket

    THIS MAN AIN’T DRINKIN’ PEE. HE’S SELLIN’ IT TO PEOPLE NEEDING TO PASS DRUG TESTS. THAT’S WHY HE’S ONLY COLLECTING LITTLE BOYS URINE, NOT THAT OF GROWN MEN WHICH WOULD MORE THAN LIKELY BE DIRTY.

  • Hannibal

    Now go and get your urine little duffle bag boy!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    and one of your friends, enjoy…. i agree LOW LIFE is ia twisted low life whatever you want to call the b@tch!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    @ d queen…. good then whatever… but when you call me out i come out! and you have a nice day!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    Dqueen… sorry to upset your stomach but i was sharing a true story… shyt happens and that really happen as far as what the woman said… i was just a listener… and i am so over R Kellys trial till its ridiculous… the trial is over i give less then a f@ck who thinks he got off and who the f@ck dont!

  • http://braibrai@yahoo.com ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    just like South African Boy said R kelly has nothing on this dude…. everybody has an opinion and i cant believe these ignorant folks are still talking about this silly bullshyt “arent you the one who supported R Kelly”" YOU DAMN RIGHT ME AND PLENTY MORE! FU@K!

  • Sugar

    I tell you white folks is crazy…

  • bootlegger

    the world is coming to an end.

  • DIRTYSOUTH MOUTH

    I HEARD THIS IS R.KELLY’S BEST FRIEND THEY OFTEN GO SLUMMING AND FISHING TOGETHER GIVING EACH OTHER ADVICE ON HOW TO TIE UP BARBIE DOLLS NAME CHRISTY AND KENT

  • itiswhatitis

    LaLaLaLovely—TOTALLY AGREED! I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW CHILD MOLESTERS SPEND LIKE 2 YRS IN PRISON BUT DEALERS GET JUST ABOUT LIFE..SMH I JUST DONT GET IT!

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