Dear Bossip: My Baby’s Daddy Is A Hater

- By Bossip Staff Categories: News, Sex and Relationships

Hey Bossip peoples. I have a situation and I could really use some advice. I’ve been dating this man for almost 5 months now and I think he’s “the one” lol. I have 2 kids with my ex and we used to live together until I put him out about a year ago. I’m not the type of girl who goes back and fourth with breakups and when it was over, it was over in my eyes. Of course my ex kept trying to come over and spend the night and would even try to get all romantic with me and reminisce about the good times, but I never bought into it. Well since I’ve been dating this guy, he’s been hating. He’ll call and want to come “see the kids” but I tell him that my current boyfriend is there and he can come the next day or the next time he’s available. Now that we’re getting pretty serious and I’m thinking about letting him move in, my baby’s father is really tripping. He’s mean to me and says that I’m being a “bird” and that I’m moving too fast. If I’m going out with him my ex refuses to watch the kids and tells me to find somebody else to watch them, or when he takes them he never answers his phone and brings them back really late. I just want to be happy but he’s hating because I wasn’t happy with him. What should I do?

Yikes! Okay, sis. It sounds like your kids are being put in the middle of a situation that you, your boyfriend and your children’s father should be handling. If you feel like he’s “the one,” then the three of you should be able to talk as adults and come to an agreement about what’s best for the kids before anything else! If their father wants to be active, another man should never interfere with his involvement, period. Have the two of them met yet? If so, does your children’s father trust him around them? You’ve got to establish and master the communication with your ex as it relates to the kids before you can truly move on in a suitable fashion.

You have to remove yourself from the equation and take a look at the long term. Not trying to be cruel, but you didn’t at all mention how your kids are coping with you and your ex’s separation or how your current boyfriend treats them. How have your kids been affected by the tension between you and their Dad? How do they feel about this new person that’s coming around so often? How would they feel if he moved in? Your kids and how they will fare should always be your first concern.

The last thing you want to do is set a tone of inconsistency … your kids don’t need to witness men coming and going. And your children’s father is right, slow down! If your current boyfriend is truly serious about you and he’s in it for the long haul then he’s not going anywhere, so what’s the rush? Do you really think 5 months is enough time to determine whether this man is going to be good for you and your kids? Why are you moving him in so quickly? You can’t be mad at your ex for being concerned and asking questions about his children’s potential living arrangements. So it doesn’t sound like “he’s hating on you,” sounds more like he’s loving his kids. Take your time, sis. Take your time. Hope this helps!

What do you think she should do Bossip Readers?

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  • 2dimplzs

    She needs to stop letting her baby father know/be involved in HER PERSONAL AFFAIRS!!! His only concern should only be those kids and that’s it!!!!

    And what’s up with women letting niccas move in with them and their kids so freely? There are too many child molestors, rapists and killers running around to be that trusting with niccas these days!!!! Check his background girl……….

  • http://fromthat TINGTING


  • miss


  • her?yeahher

    agreed! Ms.- while you deserve to be happy and live your own life , your life is not just about YOU anymore. You didn’t say how old your children are but 5 months is a very short time to be moving a man into your home especially if your children live there! and if this man is so great, he will respect your decision to wait and not attempt to force himself into your life. and if it doesn’t work out, the next time you meet a man, keep him away from your children and home kids don’t need to see their parents having a bunch of “friends” in and out.

  • ericka the sh$# disturber

    sounds like ol girl has horrible taste in men. the first fool was correct saying that’s she’s moving too fast. she obviously didn’t learn a damn thing from the previous relationship and now she wants to repeat it. people like this need to do this stupid sh#$ when they’re single not with children. f@#k up your own life not your kids dumba$$

  • d303

    5 months…she should not be moving anybody in…..get married and stop being the forever/ serial girlfriend dummy! why are women so quick to move someone in…dummies!

  • ohnooooo

    get a brain get a clue a ‘man’ who moves in with you aint a man

  • Matix B Gaza Mi Sa

    You are a “bird”! You should be ashamed, listen to you baby daddy and take you time. I have a feeling you still want him back anyway. Don’t use your new man to get your old man jelly! Be a women a tell your new man to come out the house cuz BD is comming to check the kids. Act right or fly away.

  • http://fromthat TINGTING

    He’ll call and want to come “see the kids” but I tell him that my current boyfriend is there and he can come the next day or the next time he’s available____________________________________________________________________________________


  • LaDiva

    Sweety u are moving too fast.
    1st and foremost should be your kids…that is the #1 u should be dealing with..
    It’s not a good look to have a different man coming in and out of your lives…Kids notice that shyt. 2ndly your ex is a hater. But regardless of it all he is still the father. so u will have to deal with him for the rest of your life. set up times where he can see the kids and those would be the times u can spend with your man. this removes any chance your ex-cokkblocker has in rainging down on your new love life.
    I could go on…but u get are grown enough to handle this as an adult.

  • LaDiva

    wth …mad edit errors. don’t got time to fix them..

  • always knew

    have any more children maybe

    excuse typos..

  • Mock Rock Star

    Ok I try not to be judgmental :-) but I agree with her ex boyfriend that she is a “bird” For one her ex of not one, but two kids was just a boyfriend not a husband. For two why on earth is she allowing her new “boyfriend” to move in with her??? Unless U are a wealthy woman U never allow a man to move into your place. If she was wealthy then she would have a nanny to look after her kids while she goes and have fun with her boy toy and not have to involve the baby daddy. So she has bird written all over her. My advice to her is take her kids out with her and her new boyfriend and let him continue to live with his mama until he can stand on his own two feet.

  • Choco

    Keep your private life private-simple as that!

  • 2dimplzs


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