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We’re counting down the hours until the law finally pulls the trigger and tells Lindsay Ho-Han “Go To Jail. Go Directly To Jail. Do Not Pass the Chateau Marmont. Do Not Collect Your Residuals!!!” Pop the hood for details about how Lindsay might be able to escape prison yet again.

This morning Judge Marsha Revel had enough of Lindsay Lohan’s foolishness an issued a bench warrant for her arrest because she did not report to court.

Judge Revel set bail at $100,000 and said Lindsay can post bail and remain free until the next court hearing, IF she does the following:

– Drink no alcohol

– Wear a SCRAM bracelet

– Submit to random drug testing at least once a week

HA! We doubt she can stay out the club long enough to comply with the rules. She just needs to stay in jail. Less trouble in there!

Her lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley told the judge that her passport was stolen and that is why she was not present at court.

She is a fool if she thinks that anybody is buying that! You ain’t gotta LIE to kick it Lindsay!!!

TMZ reported that cops in Cannes, France said Lindsay Lohan did not report her “missing” passport to them. Which is the exact opposite of what her lawyer said during the hearing.

The judge was not going to be played like a fool. She told Lohans attorney,”Actions speak louder than words.” The judge felt Lindsay could have gotten a replacement passport and made it back on time, adding that Lindsay has had “a history of not keeping scheduled appointments.”

The law waits for no man! Judge Revel said that Lohan knew she was going to jail for violating probation. If she doesn’t watch it Ho-Han could be facing 180 days behind bars.

Good thing she likes fish.

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