Good day Bossip Readers! Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday!” The question of the day is: do nice guys finish last? Last week, we asked the ladies their opinion and for today, the fellas weighed in. As cliche as the term may sound, it’s often rang true to many men who are or have been the quintessential “nice guy” who didn’t quite snag the desired outcome. Or, the woman who knowingly refused a man because he was “too nice.” Clearly, there is some truth to the old saying so let’s explore the theory. Why is it that the “nice guy” is often placed in the friend zone, less respected or taken advantage of in the dating realm? If a good guy is what many woman seek, then why is he often overlooked as a suitable candidate? Because he has yet to “grow a set” as some would say or he lacks the perfect combination of “thug” and “good guy” that other women prefer. We spoke to a group of men on the matter and here’s what they to had to say!
Not Man Enough
“Umm, why do good guys finish last? Easy, they’re either cornballs but really a nice guy. Ugly, but a really nice guy. Fat, but a really nice guy. Sweet, but a really nice guy. Lame, but a really nice guy. Feminine to a point it borders gay . . . but a really nice guy. Do you see the pattern? The nice guy has all the attributes, characteristically, of an ideal candidate but absolutely no chance. Women aren’t feeling that guy who don’t put that bass in his voice and exhibit mannish behavior. They like to see you rugged and doing things men do like play sports . . . well. Spit far and move heavy objects effortlessly. Fix sh*t, you know? Nice guys finish last because they don’t have the strength, stamina and skill to win the race. They lack a certain kind of aggression. I don’t know.” – Mack, 32
Not Very Forward
“Cause they’re not bold enough to say what they want. I used to be a nice guy but I learned women are into a*sholes. You cannot be soft if you want a woman to be into you. They don’t want to hear all that romantic mushy ‘ohh baby, you’re so beautiful’ type rhetoric. They like that ‘yea baby, your lips are beautiful and I want you to put ’em on me.’ I think women want a man that clearly defines what he wants from her and how he wants it. The devil is in the details, right? So you say to a girl, “I like your legs.” She says “really, what do you like about them?” A nice guy would shrug and say something like, ‘I dunno. They’re just pretty.’ While, the other dude feels them up and say they’re soft and pretty, see the difference? Need to be more assertive.” – Ceasar, 29
“Nice guys don’t know how to say “no.” I’m a nice guy, don’t get me wrong. I respect women and I truly do love them. But that overly nice guy is going to be a chick’s doormat. Like, you ever see that dude who stays getting punked by his girlfriend? I don’t care where it is. It could be in public, at the man’s family reunion, in front of their kids . . . if she says jump, he wants to know how high . . . how long he should stay and if she wants him to grab her a pillow whiles he’s up there! Sometimes you have to say ‘hell no.’ You know what I’m saying? I’m all for chivalry and treating women well and all but if you show so much as an ounce of pushover tendency, she’s gonna stick it to you.” – Andre, 27
Mistaken For Weakness
“The dichotomy of the nice guy is real, yo. Nice guys get stuck with mean girls – you ever notice that? I’m a nice guy. I’m a sensitive guy and I can honestly say that I’ve been in a woman’s shoes, every man has. I’ve been left alone with my feelings about a woman, left to wonder why she’s not calling or if it was something I did like, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ So for a while I went above and beyond to make sure a woman knew my sincerity and willingness but once I started doing that, I started to attract a different type of woman. They were mean, spiteful and cold-blooded and they always tried my manhood. So it’s like walking a tight rope – can’t lean too much towards the weaker type of nice guy but at the same time can’t be a caveman with it. It’s a balancing act.” – DeMarco, 29
“Oh! The ‘nice guy’ that’s just a friend. You know him, every girl has a nice guy friend they would never ever consider as anything more. He’ll do everything with her – go to the mall, sit while she gets her nails and toes done, go to the grocery store. And she’ll go home and talk about him to her friends explaining all the reasons why she’s not attracted to him and could never look at him in that way. A lot of it is, she’s just not into him, probably because he doesn’t treat her like sh*t or intentionally hurt her. I don’t know. I’ve often thought that woman like pain and choose it when they mess around with thugs.” – Keith, 32
What are your thoughts Bossip readers? Please discuss!
Please remember to e-mail all topic suggestions, feedback and questions to firstname.lastname@example.org!