Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last? The Fellas Weigh In!

- By Bossip Staff Categories: News, Sex and Relationships

Good day Bossip Readers! Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday!” The question of the day is: do nice guys finish last? Last week, we asked the ladies their opinion and for today, the fellas weighed in. As cliche as the term may sound, it’s often rang true to many men who are or have been the quintessential “nice guy” who didn’t quite snag the desired outcome. Or, the woman who knowingly refused a man because he was “too nice.” Clearly, there is some truth to the old saying so let’s explore the theory. Why is it that the “nice guy” is often placed in the friend zone, less respected or taken advantage of in the dating realm? If a good guy is what many woman seek, then why is he often overlooked as a suitable candidate? Because he has yet to “grow a set” as some would say or he lacks the perfect combination of “thug” and “good guy” that other women prefer. We spoke to a group of men on the matter and here’s what they to had to say!

Not Man Enough

“Umm, why do good guys finish last? Easy, they’re either cornballs but really a nice guy. Ugly, but a really nice guy. Fat, but a really nice guy. Sweet, but a really nice guy. Lame, but a really nice guy. Feminine to a point it borders gay . . . but a really nice guy. Do you see the pattern? The nice guy has all the attributes, characteristically, of an ideal candidate but absolutely no chance. Women aren’t feeling that guy who don’t put that bass in his voice and exhibit mannish behavior. They like to see you rugged and doing things men do like play sports . . . well. Spit far and move heavy objects effortlessly. Fix sh*t, you know? Nice guys finish last because they don’t have the strength, stamina and skill to win the race. They lack a certain kind of aggression. I don’t know.” – Mack, 32

Not Very Forward

“Cause they’re not bold enough to say what they want. I used to be a nice guy but I learned women are into a*sholes. You cannot be soft if you want a woman to be into you. They don’t want to hear all that romantic mushy ‘ohh baby, you’re so beautiful’ type rhetoric. They like that ‘yea baby, your lips are beautiful and I want you to put ’em on me.’ I think women want a man that clearly defines what he wants from her and how he wants it. The devil is in the details, right? So you say to a girl, “I like your legs.” She says “really, what do you like about them?” A nice guy would shrug and say something like, ‘I dunno. They’re just pretty.’ While, the other dude feels them up and say they’re soft and pretty, see the difference? Need to be more assertive.” – Ceasar, 29

Too Easy

“Nice guys don’t know how to say “no.” I’m a nice guy, don’t get me wrong. I respect women and I truly do love them. But that overly nice guy is going to be a chick’s doormat. Like, you ever see that dude who stays getting punked by his girlfriend? I don’t care where it is. It could be in public, at the man’s family reunion, in front of their kids . . . if she says jump, he wants to know how high . . . how long he should stay and if she wants him to grab her a pillow whiles he’s up there! Sometimes you have to say ‘hell no.’ You know what I’m saying? I’m all for chivalry and treating women well and all but if you show so much as an ounce of pushover tendency, she’s gonna stick it to you.” – Andre, 27

Mistaken For Weakness

“The dichotomy of the nice guy is real, yo. Nice guys get stuck with mean girls – you ever notice that? I’m a nice guy. I’m a sensitive guy and I can honestly say that I’ve been in a woman’s shoes, every man has. I’ve been left alone with my feelings about a woman, left to wonder why she’s not calling or if it was something I did like, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ So for a while I went above and beyond to make sure a woman knew my sincerity and willingness but once I started doing that, I started to attract a different type of woman. They were mean, spiteful and cold-blooded and they always tried my manhood. So it’s like walking a tight rope – can’t lean too much towards the weaker type of nice guy but at the same time can’t be a caveman with it. It’s a balancing act.” – DeMarco, 29

Forever Friends

“Oh! The ‘nice guy’ that’s just a friend. You know him, every girl has a nice guy friend they would never ever consider as anything more. He’ll do everything with her – go to the mall, sit while she gets her nails and toes done, go to the grocery store. And she’ll go home and talk about him to her friends explaining all the reasons why she’s not attracted to him and could never look at him in that way. A lot of it is, she’s just not into him, probably because he doesn’t treat her like sh*t or intentionally hurt her. I don’t know. I’ve often thought that woman like pain and choose it when they mess around with thugs.” – Keith, 32

What are your thoughts Bossip readers? Please discuss!

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  • LaDiva

    Sadly it does appear that nice guys always finish last. Smh…

  • 1991 UK

    hasn’t this topic already been discussed?? or am i going crazy

  • undressingHER

    nice guys finish last when it comes to women who don’t know how valuable a nice man is to their lives. But if you come across a lady who knows how she wants to be treated…and won’t accept bullshit, then a nice guy is needed. Obama is a nice guy…he landed an accomplished nice woman (from what I can tell).

  • 1991 UK

    I prefer nice guys anyway who wouldn’t want a man to love you and treat you nicely

  • anewme

    Seriously…..C’mon why are you doing this again?

  • Keep It Real


    Seriously…..C’mon why are you doing this again?

    I agree!

    What is the one word that women with kids over thirty and all single women over 38 never use? Settling. The word settling changes to the word compromise. We all know who finishes last.

  • Syreeta

    Nice guys!!! Where you at?!

  • BlackIce

    undressingHER said it best. Most black women are in it for the now, trends, and BS like that. They don’t think about the rest of life till later in life when the cooch is all worn down. Then sometimes when that nice guy gets the woman, all she is about is material things who dont know how to keep that good man.

  • BBBEE25

    Yes…lol because some women preceive them as being soft and unable to defend them if and when the time comes. Women usually see them as geeks or dorks. Nice guys are what they are nice…..there’s nothing wrong with that but women do like a little danger.

  • Clarkekent3000

    Good Guys USED to finish last,then they got smart and wised up. Your actually better off single!

  • Clarkekent3000

    oops Use to!

  • Clarkekent3000

    Ha! Right the first time-lol!

  • JODY

    Yes sadly as most MAles find OUT DA ONLY LIKE THUGS ESPECIALLY when THERE YOUNG and you ust get called sorry.

    And when they get to pushing 30 wit 2 kidz from HER manly THUG baby dady theN THEY WANT A nice guy to come in BUT by THAT TIME hes taken probabley BY A WHITE GIRL

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  • lilbabiphat2004

    its great to have a nice guy in your in life i got one… time for the thugs and drug dealers that mess is tooooo overrated

  • John

    Who cares….if it’s not Supposed to happen it won’t

  • JODY

    DA truth is alot of dudes out dat treat females like ish now used be nice guys…….until DA found out what it is DAT theses females really lUST after DA DOPEMAN

  • SMH

    Im guessing the guy that slapped kat stacks is god gift to women he’s such a meanie not a nice guy lol

  • Keep It Real

    Who has the better odds of finding what their looking for? A Single 38 year old man or a single 38 year old woman?

    For the life of me I don’t understand why mothers don’t teach their daughters if you haven’t found a husband by 26 you need to really get serious and focus if you want to be married. And, if you haven’t found a husband by 28 you need move husband into top priority mode because in most cases that’s (your available choices) about as good as it’s going to get. It’s down hill at some point between the ages of 30 and 35 depending on the woman. After downhill, the unstoppable landslide. Not a good look.

  • Most Interesting

    Put shortly:
    This old cliché is a great example of sloppy speech.
    Nice guys don’t finish last…WEAK guys do!!!
    I know plenty of nice men both young and old who do extremely well with women. They are nice but they make their demands known and they have boundaries that no woman (no matter who dammit) can cross. This is the biggest key to being respected.
    Weak men can play the role of mack daddy for a while, but they don’t express themselves well in terms of what they want from the woman. They don’t take the lead in making decisions and they let women steer things even when they’d prefer or know better. That’s an unattractive characteristic in men according to women.

    Nice guys do fine…WEAK men get left behind…
    This is true in relationships of any kind (business, personal, love, family, etc…)

    Don’t be weak brothas!


  • http://urnotpdiddyloser 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS

    Nice Guys? What nice guys? please.

  • JODY

    Blackwomen dont want nice guys day want thugs

    u knowDA lil waynes of DA world only DEM n1ggas be broke.

  • Me

    I had a nice guy. He was so nice that I didn’t trust him. I always had this “come on be real” attitude towards him and rarley took him seriously. Now looking back on everything, I think he was just really into me and he didn’t want to mess up but my insecurities wouldn’t let me except that…

  • http://urnotpdiddyloser 5'10" AKILLAH RICHARDS

    I see the lames are up early hating on millions of black women they’ve never met. smh. Anyway just because a dude is a cornball doesn’t make him nice. Just because he’s not physically attractive doesn’t make him nice. Just because he’s lame doesnt make him nice.

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