wow, how ironic…the Joran Van Der Sloot thread must have prompted this…

i’ll be wifey material when i’m in my 40s, calmed down and have more patience for people and their bullsh@#. til then i’ll keep trolling the blogs for sh@#s and giggles…:)

the list is a good starting point for any man who is considering marriage. However, the biggest impediment to marriage today is a shortage of marriagable women the serious downside of mariage for men. once a man enters into that contract with a womanhe is basically powerless against her within any family structure they build and in the legal system. for most men it just isnt worth the risk.

Lol those same qualities women should think about as well when determining if a man is husband material.

I admit #4 is what I had to work on and still am working on as far as saving.

Hey B3 Fearless!

I agree, men need to come with the same qualities…

Depends on who is wifing me. Maybe you are not husband material. Maybe you are.

where’s Kigali, she’s always got something “interesting” to say in these types of threads…

What woman would want to be “wifey”??! …Why not wait and hold out until you get the actuall title of WIFE!! …a wifey is just the main/#1 b*tch, an actual WIFE is the ONE AND ONly, she has everything: the title, the ring, the house, etc etc etc… (I’m just sayin’)

@Matix:

PREACH!!!!

I wouldn’t want to be “Wifey” material anyway, I would rather be “Wife” material… There’s a big difference. #Im-just-saying

@ B3 Fearless & Caramel Cat

Hi ladies.
The truth is that most women are tired of the bs that many men bring.
I have plenty of girlfriends who have the mentality of “if he can do it, then I’ma do it better”…
I think women have gotten tired of being told to sit down while men have run amock on them… Moving forward tho, in this day in age, there are not too many ppl who are marriage material period… (this goes for both men and women)…Too busy playing the field and never getting to home.

@Caramel Cat!

Hey!!!! I haven’t seen you in a minute on here. Good to see you. Hey you are married. Read what I just posted. That’s something nice that married couples can do for each other.

Shoot even ppl in committed relationships can do that nice gesture.

@ ShawnM

Exactly…

Whateva! Next Subject

I don’t know what the race comment had to do with the rest of the post butI think everyone should be introspective if you are looking for a life mate. Too many people look at what someone can offer them and do not look at what they should be bringing to the table. As a man on more than a few occasions a woman has told me what I should be doing “as a man”. I accept that but whenever I ask them what they should be doing “as a woman” they never have a answer or stumble over some mumbo jumbo that they’re making up on the spot. My point is how can you have such a defined role for a man but never consider what you should be doing as a woman? I find that to be hilarious and sad at the same time. This is probably not all women. Just my experience.

Hey LaDiva!

I agree, I think the pickings are slim these days…but I think that for those who are actually out there pursuing it actively, it can be attained…

@B3 Fearless

I think what you posted was really positive and enriching. My husband and I did something very similar to this in our pre-cana marital counseling…

Being a woman is complex and sometimes we make choices that alienate our partners. Not saying we need to bow the faq down to anyone, but humility goes a long way. Especially when you ultimate goal is marriage, compromise is key.

@ Caramel Cat

Lol relationships are hard nowadays…
To attain a good man is near impossible.
But there are indeed wonderful men out there -the same goes for women.
And yes u can find an ideal mate if you limit your time with those playing the field.

God favors Me (b-day gurl dis wknd): Lol you know?? Everyday they must post a bashing session. WHY?

@Matix B

Not saying we need to bow the faq down to anyone, but humility goes a long way. Especially when you ultimate goal is marriage, compromise is key.

~~~

CHURCH!

Hi LaDiva, Matix, Yun Dun Know, etc.

I agree about the comments about wifey vs. wife and LaDiva that comment about every1 (men and women) being “Too busy playing the field and never getting to home.” That comment is right on the money.

I’m not sweating marriage tho. I see it as an ideal that I would love to have, but I really don’t see myself freaking out about it if it never happens.

I really do enjoy my life, I have my son and I have experienced real love once so overall if I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow single and all I’m good!

There is only one requirement to be wifey material ……. “Shut the H$%L up”

@LaDiva

I agree with you sister. I just have learned to be more positive over the years in relation to finding that special someone. I think women are so used to defending ourselves and proving ourselves that we treat men the same way and sometimes we let some good ones get away…all because they SEEM to be not on the same page as we are. We are all a work-in-progress, so we have to be open to others and their faults. But, you are right, the first step is knowing up front if the person you are dealing with is looking for the same end result as you. If a man tells you he ain’t ready for marriage…believe him…

@God favors me…

Ummm just reading your sn got me excited we (my youth and yound adult choir) just sang that the other day. That’s my song!!!

There is only one requirement to be wifey material ……. Be quite for long periods of time ….. silence is golden..

*young

And I also love “Grateful”

@B3 Fearless

I really do enjoy my life, I have my son and I have experienced real love once so overall if I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow single and all I’m good!

~~~~

LMAO! girl, ain’t THAT the truth…I feel the EXACT same way…if my husband were to walk out the door and never come back, I’m ever so content with myself that I’d be straight…self-love is priceless!

I actually enjoy being a single dad. No overbearing woman constantly looking over my shoulder trying to tell me how to raise my kid. I go and come as I please and make and spend my own money.

Caramel Cat™

6/22/10, 15:28:pm

@LaDiva

I agree with you sister. I just have learned to be more positive over the years in relation to finding that special someone. I think women are so used to defending ourselves and proving ourselves that we treat men the same way and sometimes we let some good ones get away…all because they SEEM to be not on the same page as we are. We are all a work-in-progress, so we have to be open to others and their faults. But, you are right, the first step is knowing up front if the person you are dealing with is looking for the same end result as you. If a man tells you he ain’t ready for marriage…believe him…
______________________________________________

And if we tell you “YOU’RE THE ONE”, believe that too! Speaking as a cat who’s geetting hitched next year, I can tell ya that I truly don’t want anyone else other than my boo!

speakin’ as a single woman…..$$ or a bank account has NEVER determined if i will date a man, but i find men expect me 2 lower my standards n’ that’s NOT happenin’!!! i don’t expect the world, but i do expect the same treatment that i give a man 2 be reciprocated!!!
not b/c a ‘man will ALWAYZ be man’ i should just accept that i may be treated like crap b/c he looks good or his d**k is big??? i’m VERY SORRY, but a lot of men DO NOT HAVE ANYTHIN’ 2 OFFER n’ I DON’T MEAN $$…..they can’t even offer a stimulatin’ conversation n’ the one’s that can talk about the VERY SERIOUS acspects of realtionships (too soon), which tend to scare ppl off + they want u 2 settle 4 their mediocracy!!! that just doesn’t sit well w/ me nor am i just speakin’ about blk men, but i can not put all the blame on men b/c as a good woman i know that there has 2 be somethin’ that leaves me b/w a rock n’ a hard place!!!???

Hey Day!

Yes…I agree with that just as much!

@ SHAWNM
**********************************
Anyone can be wifey material. The question is will he put a ring on it?

I really do enjoy my life, I have my son and I have experienced real love once so overall if I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow single and all I’m good!
_______________________________________________
as long as you have felt it, once is enough!

Hey Sydney!

I was wondering where you were all day…Marquis called you and I out in another thread earlier…lol..

Great comments already!

@Caramel

“I was wondering where you were all day…Marquis called you and I out in another thread earlier…lol..”

Hey girl! I know. I saw. I read. I ignored.

Caramel Cat™

6/22/10, 15:32:pm

Hey Day!

Yes…I agree with that just as much!
_________________________________________________

However, on another totally unrelated note, I am secretly plotting the death of my fiancee’s wedding planner…(I can’t stand the bytch!!)

@Sydney

I don’t blame you, I likely should have done the same…he’s so predictable…

“After all, we all know how those types of women do no wrong, right??”

Who said that, Mr. Day?

@Day

lmao! you’re funny…wedding planners can sometimes be worse than the bride…

@Caramel

LOL, yup.

Day: Hang in there, when is the big date?

How many women on are NOT single?

You know what they say, dont take advice from your single friends because there is a reason they are single…

Hey Caramel, Syd, B3, Matix, Day!

Let’s see how this conversation goes…….. Did anyone see the thread from yesterday?….. I couldn’t believe a brother was getting attacked by another brother for not believing that successful black men are extinct. He tried to explain that having a degree doesn’t necessarily make men a success in life and men should never think other men aren’t successful because they don’t have a degree……That made another brother livid and flew off the handle…….. But I think I understand why the brother was upset, SMH.

Clark: Why would you need a male only blog? I don’t understand, it’s an open forum here where disagreeing is the norm and actually quite welcome. Am I missing something?

Hey Tina!

I saw your post, LMAO.

Well I know one person saw it for sure, LOL.

Tina or Call Me T: I read that. I think it was Chris, he had some great points.

As a alpha male, I am looking for the following in my future spouse.

1. Chemistry & Love
2. Beauty Inside and Outside
3. Internal Drive to Succeed
4. Respectful to Her Relationship, to Herself, to Her Spouse and to Our Shared Environment
5. Trustworthiness

For the females here: Are you the one?

Hey Tina!

Yes, I saw that and it really made me kind of nauseous…self hate is a very serious thing, and giving it reason just adds fuel to the flames…

I honestly believe women should let a man find them. When a women goes in search of a man, it usually ends disastrous…… That’s my opinion because I was raised old school.

so let me get this straight..

1. Black women are lacking personality, yet all other races of women try to act like sistas

2. Black women are mot attractive, yet other races try to look like us with butt injection and silicone lips

3. Black woman are known to outnumber black on all college campus and we are more likely to seek even higher degrees thereafter…Masters, PhDs. When did this statistic change?

4. Most of these educated women tend to go on to be quite financially secure, with great careers, making nice salaries and own nice homes.

5. Sprituality, again black women make up more of church congregations than black men. Go to any church and you will see a large number of single black successful, single black women. Most of the black men you see will be there with there woman. You will NOT find a equal # of single successful black men unless they are gay ( just being honest)

And I would like to say the above describes ME!!! And about 6 of my l black female friends. We are all single, successful, attractive and financially stable women who love the Lord and long for a husband. We go on extravagant trips to the islands with each other. We all fall into this neatly defined layout of a wife but are not wives, so I am struggling to understand How do we REALLY fit into the equation of these”wifey material” standards exactly. Maybe We have become too much of those good things on that list and it has made the black man feel inferior, that is my guess. I don’t know, but I will keep being the best me I can be while the world White men and women and now my own brothas beats me down and tells me I am nothing. Funny thing is, when the black man was locked up, belittled, etc, we black woman stood our ground. We stayed by our man’s side. Even today, while our men stand with “them” and spit in our face and call us nothings, we still refuse to go get a white man. We will be here when yall figure it out, because we ARE loyal and faithful. WE ARE GOOD WOMEN no matter how you dice it!

@Sydney™:

6/22/10, 15:37:pm

“After all, we all know how those types of women do no wrong, right??”

Who said that, Mr. Day?
_______________________________________________

Well, we all know how a lot of people make excuses for overbearing women on here, so I just went with it. Coincidentally, the fiancee’s wedding planner is overbearing and domineering as hell, too! The whole time I was sitting there listening to this chick’s spiel, I was asking myself “Why the hell am I payin’ this chick??” Then it dawned on me…Oh yeah, I’m doing this to make her happy, so as long as she has her day in the sun, I can grit my teeth long enough to get through it, but she got really fly with my dad and my brothers and I was thinking the one time her azz gets outta pocket with me, I’m letting her have it with both barrels right between the f_uckin eyes whether ol’ girl likes it or not….

@Tina,

I honestly believe women should let a man find them.

~~~

You speak nothing but the truth…

@Day

“Well, we all know how a lot of people make excuses for overbearing women on here, so I just went with it.”

Oh, I see. . .Moving right along, lol.

” I can grit my teeth long enough to get through it, but she got really fly with my dad and my brothers and I was thinking the one time her azz gets outta pocket with me, I’m letting her have it with both barrels right between the f_uckin eyes whether ol’ girl likes it or not….”

Well, that’s certainly a pleasant picture. . .Not.

Caramel Cat™

6/22/10, 15:38:pm

@Day

lmao! you’re funny…wedding planners can sometimes be worse than the bride…
_______________________________________________

Who you tellin?? That chick was cruising for a bruisin!! The only reason I DIDN’T go off was on account of ol’ girl… That chick was a control freak from the word go! I mean My Azz is payin for the whole thing, so don’t I get a say???

Hey Tina!

I missed that which thread was that discussion in?

What happened now?

Some1 give me the scoop.

@Caramel Cat
@Matix B
@ B3 Fearless
==============================================

I respect you ladies and your comments….I can’t do anything but applaud your ladies for your honesty!! Thank you for being you!

And you have to be able to make more than just a sandwich. lol

Sydney™

6/22/10, 15:49:pm

@Day

“Well, we all know how a lot of people make excuses for overbearing women on here, so I just went with it.”

Oh, I see. . .Moving right along, lol.

” I can grit my teeth long enough to get through it, but she got really fly with my dad and my brothers and I was thinking the one time her azz gets outta pocket with me, I’m letting her have it with both barrels right between the f_uckin eyes whether ol’ girl likes it or not….”

Well, that’s certainly a pleasant picture. . .Not.
______________________________________________

Just so you know, the “ENABLERS” are worse than the addicts sometimes….

@mona

There is no secret recipe because each man and woman is different. I just think that women are so used to fighting and defending themselves, especially black women, that we sometimes forget to be feminine and womanly in the process. I think we look for perfection in others when it just doesn’t exist. We forget how to compromise and build together, but instead want to see what the man is bringing to the table after we have ‘established’ ourselves. These things can cause many unnecessary emotions to get stirred up early on in the courtship and potentially drive people away…

leaving single black women that only want to date single black men
________________

Myth, is a small precentage maybe 30%. Balck women are as loyal to black men as their options. Fact

Tina or Call Me T: True, but I am glad he said that because it shows his lack of self love, ironically contradicting what he preaches daily.

Thanks Unc (aka. Clarkekent3000)!

Lol @Daywalker – but her being a control freak is probably why she’s good at what she does? A liability probably when it comes to her relationships but definitely an a.s.s.et for her job.

Clark: We are a work in progress and will walk with you too if you let us.

@Clarkekent3000

Thanks…

Caramel Cat™

6/22/10, 15:52:pm

@mona

There is no secret recipe because each man and woman is different. I just think that women are so used to fighting and defending themselves, especially black women, that we sometimes forget to be feminine and womanly in the process. I think we look for perfection in others when it just doesn’t exist. We forget how to compromise and build together, but instead want to see what the man is bringing to the table after we have ‘established’ ourselves. These things can cause many unnecessary emotions to get stirred up early on in the courtship and potentially drive people away…
______________________________________________

Hang on a sec!! Lemme get the number offa my Blackberry so you can tell my fiancee’s wedding planner what you just said!! (Scrolls through addresses)

Hey Tina, what’s poppington sister?

@Caramel

I try to tell women to let a man find them, but I think that all goes back to how people were raised…… My parents are very traditional in pretty much everything they do.

@B3

I believe you were in the Taye thread yesterday, or at least I thought I saw you.

Where is the number 6?? How big is her BUTTZ!!! LOL!!

@Day

LMAO! That is so funny…my wedding planner actually was a decent person and she was married. She and I were friends so she didn’t have to pull out all the big guns with me or anyone else. But, she is firm and succinct, which is necessary to properly do her job. Her husband seemed fine with her personality…

Hey Real!…. I am good. How about yourself?

@Tina

I left when there were about 200 posts when I saw where the comments were heading with the race stuff back and forth.

I think after I finished my convo with Sydney I left and when I came back it was the same race bickering so I bounced.

I wasn’t trying to be a part of that mess.

I am a black woman who has been married to three black men. I am presently married to my third husband. I don’t suggest marrying young. You don’t have the maturity to choose the right person for yourself. I found myself allowing men to choose me when in fact, I should have been choosing them. Always take pride in your appearance. Feed your mind. Read books and never stop wanting to learn. Find the man who will uplift you. Never tolerate disrespect and never let a man put his hands on you. Be real careful about forgiving a cheating man. Some men take that as a greenlight to continue cheating. Learn how to cook. There are two ways to a man’s heart, one is through his stomach and the other hangs right below his stomach. Always remember that what you won’t do, another woman will. Always love yourself and forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past….just don’t repeat those same mistakes. And most importantly, think about God everyday because it will keep you balanced and centered in your life.

@ Caramel Cat

“I think we look for perfection in others when it just doesn’t exist.”
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I believe that there is such a thing as perfect for you…

B3 Fearless

6/22/10, 15:55:pm

Thanks Unc (aka. Clarkekent3000)!

Lol @Daywalker – but her being a control freak is probably why she’s good at what she does? A liability probably when it comes to her relationships but definitely an a.s.s.et for her job.
______________________________________________

Well, I hate to put ol’ girl on blast, but she was like 35, and wasn’t married and didn’t have a boyfriend either. Then she tried to holler at my younger brother, and he wasn’t havin it…I don’t know how good she is at her job, but I can say that my fiancee is enamored with her work. Personally, I don’t see how any one could put up with her long enough to get to know her and attempt a relationship with her, because she’s nuttier than squirrel shyt!! I mean don’t get me wrong, my girl has her moments where she clowns over stuff too, but it’s nowhere near the amount of “CRAZY” that the wedding planner was displaying in my opinion…

@Matix

You made a great point.

@ realist

Lol… I’d swap out Mona’s #5 for your #6.

Adult-aged males have told me, you’re no longer “wifey material’, once your transportation, dwelling, bills and bank accounts are in your name because then a man has nothing to offer and RULE you with! (One of the saddest statements I’ve ever heard.)

@B3

“I think after I finished my convo with Sydney I left and when I came back it was the same race bickering so I bounced.”

That was very smart of you.

@You Smell Me??

I believe that there is such a thing as perfect for you…

~~~

lol, I think my husband is as close to perfect as I can get…I’ve had some serious duds in my day…

@Jamillah

“”"”Always take pride in your appearance. Feed your mind. Read books and never stop wanting to learn. Find the man who will uplift you. Never tolerate disrespect and never let a man put his hands on you. Be real careful about forgiving a cheating man. Some men take that as a greenlight to continue cheating. Learn how to cook. There are two ways to a man’s heart, one is through his stomach and the other hangs right below his stomach. Always remember that what you won’t do, another woman will. Always love yourself and forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past….just don’t repeat those same mistakes. And most importantly, think about God everyday because it will keep you balanced and centered in your life.”"”"”

100% co-sign sister!!

I find the term wifey degrading. Men should be looking for Wife material not “wifey”. “Wifey” sounds so ghetto.

DONT WASTE YOUR YOUNG YEARS LADIES, THESE DUDES WILL STILL BE THERE WHEN YOU’RE 50!!!! DON’T WASTE YOUR LIFE!!!

I’m sorry I know this is a very touchy subject with black women. But, I don’t know how you can have a discussion about “Are You Wifey Material” without talking about weight. There are millions of sisters with personally, degree, job yada, yada, yada who weigh 220 250lbs+ These young professional men are not going for that. Let’s be honest for a change.

@Tina

“I don’t know why I went into the thread, SMH.”

I sense that this may turn into a repeat. . .Just a slight hunch.

@Syd

I sense that this may turn into a repeat. . .Just a slight hunch.

~~~

Yeah, I’m over here biting my tongue right now…

@KEEP IT REAL: SO HOW DID YOU MISS THE MILLIONS OF FAT WHITE AND HISPANIC WOMEN WALKING AROUND? JUST ASKING

@ Realist

You can read ???? ” SHOCKER ” I would have never guessed that was possible. Pretty soon you are going tell me you can walk upright instead of crawling on your belly.

Oh by the way I heard you talking about i`m Marquis De Sade. Dude , you really have to give up crack at least right before you come up with another dumb thought that in 1, 2, 3

Another really dumb thought from ” Realist ” right after the next commercial break.

Gettin married in September!!!!

To quote Justice from Poetic Justice:

Give me your hand
Make room for me
to lead and follow you
beyond this rage of poetry.

Let others have
the privacy of
touching words
and love of loss
of love.

For me
Give me your hand.

Keep It Real: You are right on the money regarding obesity and health issues but some guys like their ladies LARGE, I for one work very hard to keep my fat gene in check. However I don’t think being overweight is a deal breaker, as long as the person is willing to try and get healthy and has proper hygiene.

MALE ATHLETES PLEASE!!!! SO SICK OF LOOKING AT SILICONE AND STDS EVERYDAY. LOL

Black people we need to get our minds together….

@Tiki barber
You’re an attention seeking idiot – I won’t pay you no mind today because I’m in a good mood!!

Hey Day!!

@Caramel

“Yeah, I’m over here biting my tongue right now…”

Yeah, just keep biting it, girl. Why are they so angry?

“I think Lebron will end with the Knicks – everything is pointing to NY!!”

I was thinking Boston -I don’t know why but I do….

@Tina or Call Me T
Nigeria flopped!! They should’ve won the game and qualify to the next stage but their strikers missed 2clear chances!! I feel for them!!

Maybe this is kind of a Conspiracy to make black women feel inferior to other women????. Really there are millions of women in this country and yet everyone including black people are bashing black women everyday…..espcially when everyone knows the black woman is the most powerful, beautiful, intelligent, spiritual, humane, and most of all the mother of civilization…..show some respect.

@Sydney

Yeah, just keep biting it, girl. Why are they so angry?

~~~

I don’t know…maybe that can be one of the tips on the ‘husband material question of the day’:

1. Stop being so Angry. A woman likes a man who can be sensitive and slow to anger. If you constantly act like a cave man beating his chest, you can potentially appear to be too aggressive for a potential future husband. Calm your nerves and express yourself in a gentle and civilized manner. You will get more bees with honey!

“Perhaps YOU should do one, since you agree that I’m right on the issue?”

I posted a message in response to someone else about a Bridezillas episode that stuck with me — that was it. It wasn’t deep. It wasn’t meaningful. It certainly wasn’t worth all this. Unless, of course, you’re Oscar — in which case, you’ve already moved on to better things a long time ago.

Sheesh. . .

@DaHonestTruth ~ Always Keeping it Real
6/22/10, 16:20:PM
“I think Lebron will end with the Knicks – everything is pointing to NY!!”
I was thinking Boston -I don’t know why but I do….
===================================
Lebron will never be a subordinate to Paul Pierce – Lebron is better than 10 paul pierce combined..

chaka1

6/22/10, 16:14:pm

Gettin married in September!!!!

To quote Justice from Poetic Justice:

Give me your hand
Make room for me
to lead and follow you
beyond this rage of poetry.

Let others have
the privacy of
touching words
and love of loss
of love.

For me
Give me your hand.
_____________________________________________

Congrats, Chaka!

@Tina

Because it is a guilty pleasure and you go into the post with the hope that this will be the ONE day when ppl will handle a race/interracial discussion in a respectful manner and ignore the crazies & trolls.

You go in and get caught up with the craziness laugh and are entertained at 1st but then shake your head in shame when it goes out of control.

It’s a guilty pleasure I tell ya.

Other than the fact that I’m not light skin with long hair, I think I’m great wifey material.

@5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS

HOW DID YOU MISS THE MILLIONS OF FAT WHITE AND HISPANIC WOMEN WALKING AROUND? JUST ASKING
________________________

Good question and I think it will be addressed when they start complaining in articles, Websites and TV programs about available men. The one thing I will say about them is that they stay in their lane. lol They know up front that this is going to be a MAJOR factor in their love life, pursuit of a mate and adjust accordingly. (insert blk man joke here) My point is that black women don’t want to consider weight as a factor in this equation. Why?

@Real

Thanks, I’ll have to check the highlights.

@Syd

I already got one foot out the thread.

Im not gonna lie i got alot of work to do>>>>>>> intelligence aint the problem>>>>> my attitude, and the way i spend money is a whole diffrent story lmao!!!

@Caramel

“maybe that can be one of the tips on the ‘husband material question of the day’:

1. Stop being so Angry. A woman likes a man who can be sensitive and slow to anger. If you constantly act like a cave man beating his chest, you can potentially appear to be too aggressive for a potential future husband. Calm your nerves and express yourself in a gentle and civilized manner. You will get more bees with honey!”

LMAO

*stands up*
*applauds*
*sits down*

Congrats Chaka1 on your engagement!!!

*sigh* How about not defining yourself as “wifey” material after the age of…I don’t know, 17?!

Hey Caramel, Sydney…This site has been worst than normal lately, hence my absence.

Sydney and Caramel

I was’nt callin’ y’all out per se, I was just wonderin’ out loud as to where y’all was at when that “STRONG BLACK FEMALE” made that gross inacurate stmt. Bout there bein’ a lack of elegible black men…Afterall, seein’ as y’all pride yourselves on bein gender-neutral when it comes to “GENERALIZATIONS”, I figured y’all’d jump at the opportunity to circle the wagon (so to speak) in order impart some of “EVEN-TEMPERED” wisdom on the aforementioned strong black female…But I guess, said “GENDER-NEUTRAL” objectivity is only reserved for those that are “TESTOSTERONE” challenged, eh?

Sydney™

6/22/10, 16:25:pm

“Perhaps YOU should do one, since you agree that I’m right on the issue?”

I posted a message in response to someone else about a Bridezillas episode that stuck with me — that was it. It wasn’t deep. It wasn’t meaningful. It certainly wasn’t worth all this. Unless, of course, you’re Oscar — in which case, you’ve already moved on to better things a long time ago.

Sheesh. . .
_______________________________________________

Could you please fast forward to the point where what you are stating presently having any relevance to the posted topic? Thanks…

@DaHonestTruth ~ Always Keeping it Real

“@KEEP IT REAL: SO HOW DID YOU MISS THE MILLIONS OF FAT WHITE AND HISPANIC WOMEN WALKING AROUND? JUST ASKING
__________________________

Tradeoffs. lol

@ DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)
========================================
what up Homie?

“IF females do this they should be fine. But of course I know some females will catch a fit after reading my tips. Females don’t know how to take advice from men but I tried at least.”

I agree with you. However I don’t think its so much not being able to take advice from a man so much as it is the group of men offering the advice. The black man often has alot of advice to give a woman about how she can please him but is very slow to speak of what he brings to the relationship or if he’s even capable ofbeing in a true committed relationship… The black mans relationship issues very often reflect the black womans issues but he never wants to speak on those. He only seeks to put the blackwoman down.. If you’re constantly going to tell someone else what they’re doing wrong at some point you have to acknowledge what you’re doing wrong as well – and that goes for men and woman…

Learn how to cook. There are two ways to a man’s heart, one is through his stomach and the other hangs right below his stomach.
______________________________________________

@Jamillah

That’s right!!!

The easy way to remember that is:

“B@lls empty & Belly full”…

Oh yeah, and one more important thing I ALMOST forgot = shut the f*ck up…

@Truly.S.Blaque

Hey girl, I hear you…I haven’t been on here as much lately myself…

@Tina

“I already got one foot out the thread.”

LOL

Hey Truly.S.Blaque! How are you? Girl, I don’t blame you for staying away. Great to see you, though.

Again, why are they so angry? They don’t even have to worry about menstruation. I don’t get it.

@Eye On U:

You may have tried, but I can honestly say that you’re p.i.s.s.i.n up a rope…..
_________________________________________________

Sydney™

6/22/10, 16:27:pm

@Caramel

“maybe that can be one of the tips on the ‘husband material question of the day’:

1. Stop being so Angry. A woman likes a man who can be sensitive and slow to anger. If you constantly act like a cave man beating his chest, you can potentially appear to be too aggressive for a potential future husband. Calm your nerves and express yourself in a gentle and civilized manner. You will get more bees with honey!”

LMAO

*stands up*
*applauds*
*sits down*
______________________________________________

Excellent advice, CC but the same advice can be applied to a lot of women as well… (JUST SAYIN’)

For all of those who say that Black women are overweight:

-I jog every moring around my neighborhood.
-I love bike riding and hiking.
-I used to run track and I played some field hockey and Lacrosse in high school.
-I’m going to sign myself up for Muay Thai boxing in the fall.

Lol @ Eye on U’s comment.

I can dig your honest list man!

And I can tell your list is written by a man.

@DaHonestTruth ~ Always Keeping it Real

“”"”"Ray Allen plays like Betty White”"”"

DEAD!! That’s so wrong!! Ray Allen used to be my favorite player in the NBA when he used to play for the SuperSonics… I just like his whole demeanour!!!

What’s poppington right now at the stock market?? You’re an investment banker, right??

@DaHonestTruth ~ Always Keeping it Real
“@KEEP IT REAL: SO HOW DID YOU MISS THE MILLIONS OF FAT WHITE AND HISPANIC WOMEN WALKING AROUND? JUST ASKING
__________________________

I will answer your question about the physical characteristics. It has to do with preference and making trade offs. The majority of black men like/prefer the face and hair of a younger white woman or a black light skin woman or a ethnic/exotic woman. They like/prefer the lower body (flat stomach, hips, azz, legs and thighs) of a black woman Height-weight proportional (somewhere between 140lbs to 180lbs). Black women make the mistake of not keeping up the physical characteristic that men like the most about them. Very few black women under six feet look better 200lbs plus than she would if she was 180lbs or less. Now if he’s with a fat woman of another race, in a lot of cases, he has made some physical trade offs. Maybe his preference is light/white/ exotic and that’s the best that he can get. Some men like fat woman, however, its NOT the majority. In my opinion, black women need to keep their weight down. If they do, they can compete physically with women of any other race.

“Learn how to cook. There are two ways to a man’s heart, one is through his stomach and the other hangs right below his stomach.
______________________________________________

@Jamillah

That’s right!!!

The easy way to remember that is:

“B@lls empty & Belly full”…

Oh yeah, and one more important thing I ALMOST forgot = shut the f*ck up…”

Well if black men start getting job, being good fathers and playing their role as men period – I would imagine thatwould all but wipe out the “shut the f*ck up part…

@Marquis de Sade

I think it’s a good thing I didn’t call her out, she came at me anyway when I was trying to address you which was completely uncalled for. I can usually detect the people who are down for a real conversation without all the hostility…I got the vibe that she was ready to be defensive, so why address someone who isn’t trying to hear anything besides what they’ve already made up in their own mind –> that they are flawless and everyone else has the problem?

@Tina

“There was a time when a group of men and women would blog almost everyday, and there was ALWAYS intelligent discussion about any topic. I swear I’m not making that up.”

Girl, I thought the same thing yesterday — you’re referring to the daily discussions around election time, right? Those were some of the best conversations I’ve ever read on this site. Those days are long gone, it seems.

@ KEEP IT REAL: Good question and I think it will be addressed when they start complaining in articles, Websites and TV programs about available men. The one thing I will say about them is that they stay in their lane. lol They know up front that this is going to be a MAJOR factor in their love life, pursuit of a mate and adjust accordingly. (insert blk man joke here) My point is that black women don’t want to consider weight as a factor in this equation. Why?

AGAIN, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE ALL THE FAT HISPANIC AND WHITE WOMEN WALKING AROUND HERE?

My ultimate goal is not to be a good wife but a good person in general. If a man can recognize my favorable qualities than more power to him, if he can’t that’s his lose. Having the wherewithal to understand the complexities of a serious relationship be it marriage or not needs to highlighted more. Not saying that I never want a serious partnership, I just think I have a lot of improving to do before I can truly enjoy a loving and healthy relationship. To paraphrase; I gots some faqing baggage.

Listen ladies if yawl need advice to be wifey , hifeys what ever it is they calling it

Here`s some Tiki tips :

1) Dye your hand blond.
2) Get a blond wig.
3) Be 20 years old.
4) Buy a b.i.g. rack and azz .
5 Shut up and dont talk so much.
6) Climb on my TIki t.o.o.l. RIDE AND THAN KEEP TALKING BECAUSE i`M FALLING ASLEEP ANYWAY.

This will help you land me ” TIKI BARBER ” or maybe some avg dude on the street. Kiss your lonely nights away ladies. Thank me later.

It`s Tiki time .

Clarkekent3000

6/22/10, 16:31:pm

@ DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)
========================================
what up Homie?
_________________________________________________

Loadin up for BEAR, my brother! Whenever you’re ready, let’s wreck shop in this bytch.

@Daywalker

Excellent advice, CC but the same advice can be applied to a lot of women as well… (JUST SAYIN’)

~~~

I agree, but in relation to this thread, most of the women in here don’t seem to be angry…*shrugs*

“@DaHonestTruth ~ Always Keeping it Real

“””””Ray Allen plays like Betty White””””

DEAD!! That’s so wrong!! Ray Allen used to be my favorite player in the NBA when he used to play for the SuperSonics… I just like his whole demeanour!!!

What’s poppington right now at the stock market?? You’re an investment banker, right??”

Yes Darling. The stock market ended down by almost 150 points. Its been a tough day.. In fact Im about to shut down and head home..

How was your day.

@B3 Fearless
What’s poppington over there??? Have you got the qualities listed in the post?? I know you’ve got the number 6!! Lol!!!

Hey Marquis! How’s it going?

Clark: I so agree with you about the need for communication. We tend to stick to our gender when critical topics are spoken. I’ll keep working on the lines of constructive communication.

@DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)

I realize my comments will fall of deaths ears but what can I say.

generally I hear females say:

” why can’t I find a man?”

and when men begin to give them some advice they want to catch a panic attack, and start complaining and taking offense to everything a man tells them.

smfh w/e

@Eye on You- I agree with everything you said!!

I am happily married and I keep my behind in that gym!!

@Miss Dominican Republic

Girl, you are TOO YOUNG to be aspiring for the ‘wife’ title. Kick it, do your thing and get to know different types of guys. Build yourself up and be the best person you can spiritually, emotionally, and career-wise. One day he will seek YOU out…

@Marquis

“Sydney and Caramel

I was’nt callin’ y’all out per se, I was just wonderin’ out loud as to where y’all was at when that “STRONG BLACK FEMALE” made that gross inacurate stmt. Bout there bein’ a lack of elegible black men…”

How did you like working in a bookstore? I’ve always thought that would be a very interesting job, as well as working in a record store, a la “High Fidelity.”

@Syd

Girl, I thought the same thing yesterday — you’re referring to the daily discussions around election time, right? Those were some of the best conversations I’ve ever read on this site. Those days are long gone, it seems.
———————–

Yeah, around election time in 2008 and after it. The same people were still blogging together or just posting in 2009 in the summer…….. Those were the best conversations I have ever read on here……. Now people just stereotype, but don’t won’t bloggers to stereotype them…….. A reunion would be very nice, don’t you think?

@Caramel

I agree. Most of the women in here aren’t acting angry.

@ SYDNEY – I’m seriously starting to doubt the whole menstruation thing, lol. The only other thing I can think of is a serious deficiency in the love, affection, and/or s.e.x category. I think they just seek the attention that they’re not getting when they step away from the computer screen.

@ MATIX B “My ultimate goal is not to be a good wife but a good person in general.”

Amen, sista.

@ EYE ON YOU: no offense, but BLACK WOMEN DON’T N E E D to do anything that other races don’t need to do. wtf? when did black men become this rare and precious jewel? lmao. there’s no shortage of them. in fact, the black women that are not married ARE THE BEST ONES!

I am the “Wife” I am not Wifey. I got the ring, the name, the house, and the kid plus the man!

@Tina

I thought I saw Ill today or yesterday, btw.

“I think she was just talking about the show Bridezillas, and you commented to her first.”

Don’t bother, girl. We have a reunion to work on.

@B3

Wasn’t it great girl?

@Caramel

I didn’t post as much back then and my screen name was different but I could read those threads for hours and never get bored. I felt like I was getting enlightenment where it wasn’t even intended–>on a gossip blog!
——————–

I NEVER got bored either. The conversations were that good, and that informative……. Even the other bloggers who joined the conversations didn’t stoop to foolishness but continued to keep the conversation at an intelligent level. *Sigh*….. Those were the days.

5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS

no offense, but BLACK WOMEN DON’T N E E D to do anything that other races don’t need to do. wtf? when did black men become this rare and precious jewel? lmao. there’s no shortage of them. in fact, the black women that are not married ARE THE BEST ONES!

________________________________________

I knew the sistas would begin to take offense to my statements. The purpose of my comments was for positive dialogue and constructive critcism. This is a blog site, and on blogs people are entitled to speak their mind.

I listed changes that most black women need to make because I only date black women. I’m not concerned with white or asian women because I have never dated one, nor do I desire one.

If you are sensitive that is just too bad, ignore my comments.

And black women that are not married tend to not be married for a reason. 30 yr old unmarried black women are not the “best” ones. They are the undesirables.

@Psych Major

Glad to see one positive sista on this board, smfh. Good for you sista.

Well, I hope at least today I was somewhat constructive. I need to work on that while still communicating my point. Lord knows when you speak on some really personal shyt. Some of these sisters on this blog circle the wagons. Instead of, IMO, digging within and bringing out some honest dialogue on taboo topics. They are so use to that Black Liberation Theology which does not require introspection of self. Just mindless victimization propaganda regurgitated over and over again.

@ Caramel Cat

I was engaged when I was 17. I broke off the engagement with the guy because I realized that I was too young to marry.

I’m going to get married between 25-30. I’ll be 20 in a month.

@Syd

I thought I saw Ill today or yesterday, btw.

~~~

I think I saw him today…I can’t remember which thread it was though…

@Caramel]

“I think I saw him today…I can’t remember which thread it was though…”

Yeah, I see him from time to time, but it’s usually fleeting. I haven’t seen Eddie in I don’t know when, and he used to post every day, along with Redd and some others.

@Marquis

Ummmm, don’t get it twisted. I’ve openly checked proudSwirler and some other folks when they get too outrageous…and no, I have not ‘checked’ all of the female bashing posters for the same reasons…The ones I have felt comfortable enough to address typically engage in a somewhat civil debate, although that can turn ugly at times as well…just because it doesn’t fit into YOUR little box and YOU don’t see it happen doesn’t mean it isn’t there…sheesh! move on bruh!

i once was martial materia, but right now i’m at a very important point in my life. finding myself, giving god more of my time and humbling myself. i’m not looking for a man or even thinking about me being of martial material. i consider myself decent and for me to settle for something less than i deserve is not me. through god’s wills oneday this probably change. a preacher once said that everyone’s not marry material. how would it look if everyone was married….

@Syd

I think I saw Ill too today….. I did my fair share of research too….. Signals would be great girl.

The reunion definitely would be great.

@Syd

Eddie became cool to me after a while. At first he was very offensive and hostile. But, he is a knowledgeable brother…

@B3 Fearless
Damn! – it’s all starting to make sense to me, sister.. The realist on the other hand meets every list that has ever been made about a perfect man except the “anger” bit, ya dig.. I know I’m aggressive but I work on that everyday – it seems it’s got something to do with my zodiac and everything I absorbed through the “osmosis” effect from the neighbourhoods I was raised in… I know with time and dedication – I’ll definitely overcome that..

We need to chat it up more often and I’ve definitely got my eyes on you..

LOL @ Caramel

Eddie was very hostile when confronting brothers and sisters about politics…… I think he came around.

@Miss Dominican Republic

Girl you’re about to be 20?!?! What are you talking about marriage for?

You have a life you need to live before you think about settling down and acquiring responsibilities. Because trust me time flies by so fast!

25 to 30 is a good age, but I can tell you right now. I’m 25 and about to be 26 next month and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday I graduated high school.

You think by your late 20s you’ll be so enlightened but honestly yes you’re a little wiser but the truth is being an adult means making responsible decisions that you won’t regret later, paying bills AND the truth is the rest you make up as you go along and pray that God guides you in the right direction.

Your focus at 20 should be on school, seeing the world and experiencing life to the fullest (responsibly that is!).

Hey Mock!!

@Tina

“The reunion definitely would be great.”

Yeah, it would. I think the time is ripe for it. In fact, there was a day not too long ago when I saw several people return whose SNs I hadn’t seen in a few years. It was like they decided to converge in one of the threads, lol.

@Caramel

“Eddie became cool to me after a while. At first he was very offensive and hostile. But, he is a knowledgeable brother…”

Yeah, I had to get used to the name-calling, but he did make me think and challenge my long-held beliefs, and I did research some of the concepts he discussed.

B3 , Caramel cat, Tina, and Sydney

From reading your post on a regular I think yawl future are looking real bright as far as dudes are concerned and in general.

@Realist
Ok I see you hon!

Hey Mock!

Caramel Cat™

6/22/10, 16:42:pm

@Daywalker

Excellent advice, CC but the same advice can be applied to a lot of women as well… (JUST SAYIN’)

~~~

I agree, but in relation to this thread, most of the women in here don’t seem to be angry…*shrugs*
_______________________________________________

Really?? Perhaps you should have a dialogue with SYDNEY….She sounds like she’s been using “BRAND X” up in this piece….
_____________________________________________

Eye On U

6/22/10, 16:48:pm

@DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)

I realize my comments will fall of deaths ears but what can I say.

generally I hear females say:

” why can’t I find a man?”

and when men begin to give them some advice they want to catch a panic attack, and start complaining and taking offense to everything a man tells them.

smfh w/e
_____________________________________________

Dude, ClarkeKent3000 said it best!: Why would you ask a black woman to write an article telling BLACK WOMEN what BLACK MEN want, when Black men are the ones who predominantly date and marry BLACK women? If anything, you go to the source! BLACK MEN should be writing these articles, not BLACK WOMEN! The reason these women can’t get marriage minded men has a lot to do with the fact that you have the “BLIND leading THE BLIND”, and the women who write these articles often spare womens’ feelings when it comes to writing this drivel! It would almost be as a.s.a.n.i.n.e as my attempting to tell a man how to attract another man! I can’t advise someone on a topic that I have no knowledge of, but I could tell a man plenty about attracting women, though, because I have experience in attracting women. I’m not going to say “ALL”, but a majority of BLACK women despise hearing criticism from black men, yet they complain that they can’t find mates. If they want to truly attract quality men, they need to take into consideration that men don’t give a rat’s azz about your house, we don’t care that you have a degree, and we don’t care about your job when we first meet you! We don’t look at a woman and think: “WOW, Look at the brains on her!!” No, my friend, much to some of the women on here’s chagrin, men don’t work that way! We cherish youth and beauty in women. Women, as a general rule, cherish an emotional connection, financial security and loyalty from their men. Now every woman and person is different, but on the whole, most of what I’m stating rings true, Eye…..

Caramel

Oh c’mon, you know and I know, proudswirler is an obvious TROLL…I’m talkin’ bout folks who’re worthy of your rapier-like wit.

@Tina

Yeah, he did. I think he meant well…my e-crush was on Redd Tony though…he seemed like his brain was just full of information that could be endlessly discussed…lol…

**peeking in**

@Syd

I know. I saw Blaq not too long ago and she kept responding on different days…… I wish most of the men and women would return and the bloggers who love this race baiting stuff everyday, can have those threads.

@Tiki

Aww, thank you Tiki! I think my parents deserve the credit….. They raised me traditionally.

Hey Diva! What do you think of a reunion?

@Marquis

I hear you, she is an obvious troll…kind of like yourself!

LMAO!

Good night everyone, I’m out of here and on my way to the gym…

@Tina

“I saw Blaq not too long ago and she kept responding on different days……”

I saw her, too, girl, and, unfortunately, I had to leave the thread when she appeared, and I think she might have left. She’s a fountain of information, and her absence is definitely felt.

@ Sydney–

I’ve often thought of that! I’d love to hear from some of the ones that no longet post.

LMAO @ Caramel

Redd was full of information and he was on point……. My e-crush used to be Film. He had me looking up words and researching things on politics and the economy.

Like I said, those were the days.

@ EYE ON YOU: I DON’T TAKE OFFENSE PERSONALLY BECAUSE NONE OF THIS CRAP APPLIES TO ME. I JUST FIND IT DISTURBING THAT THIS BLOG CONSTANTLY FINDS FLAWS IN BLACK WOMEN AND IS NEVER OFFERING ANY “CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE” TO BLACK MEN, AS IF THEY ARE PERFECT AND BLK WOMEN ARE INFERIOR. SMH

I remember when I wanted to be married with 2 kids by 25. Im 3 years past that day.

I feel 25 might be a little early by todays standards to get married.

With American cultures “preserving youth” intentions, it might be better to get married when you are TRULY READY and NOT based on AGE.

Marriage is not (at least to me) “a leap of faith”

When I take that leap, you better believe I already calculated the Angle of Momentum, Wind Turbulence, and Inertia…

And Ima have my PARACHUTE (PRE-NUP) on me as well…

haha

@Diva

“I’ve often thought of that! I’d love to hear from some of the ones that no longet post.”

Should we form an e-committee? lol

You keep in touch with some people who no longer post, right?

@Eye on you**Thank you, I was not offended by your list.In fact, the ironic thing is that I am a marriage counselor so the things that you listed are many reasons why people have marital problems. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers but I must be honest,SOME women that I come across really don’t know how to be a wife.They don’t want to cook, be intimate (or intimate when it suits them),don’t keep up their appearance,unwilling to compromise,impatient, and the list goes on.Like you stated, being in a marriage is team work, you have to work together not against each other.

Bye Caramel!

Hey Diva!

LMAO @ B3!! I feel you. We do keep their site going.

@5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS

@ KEEP IT REAL:

……..AGAIN, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE ALL THE FAT HISPANIC AND WHITE WOMEN WALKING AROUND HERE?
__________________________________

Are you serious. The percentage of overweight white women to black women is laughable. Are you serious? The Hispanics are a little closer but again? Come on! First of all let’s break it down Single, Married. The fat married white women were not fat when they got married. They waited had kids and then let themselves go.

Single white and to a certain extent Hispanic women are neurotic about their weight. Maybe 40% of single white women are over 200lbs Maybe. 80% of single black women are over 200lbs and 20% Of that group of black women are over 250lbs. The average black woman (pear shape) can carry 20 more pounds than women of other races and still look good. They just take it too far. Wait until your married with kids. Before walking around looking like Raspitia. lol

Thanks Tiki.

Hey 1TruDiva!

@Caramel Cat – I forgot about Redd Tony! Gosh what happened to him. Good nite and have fun at the gym!

Does any1 still keep in touch with the old regulars?

Hi Tina and the rest of my bunch!

@ Syd–

I have some of them–between the two social networking site (you know) I keep in touch but there are some that (sadly) I don’t have.

I saw 504ok on the other week. She’s STILL hilarious!

Remember all of the “why” questions and one of our regulars said something like “How do we know 1TruDiva’s Vocals are really Platinum?

LMAO!!!

I missed those days…..

Well, I’m out all. Have a good night!

OK, Caramal and Tina–

Have a good one!

@ B3–

Hello there!

Is Sydney still here? I want to share something with you two.

Bye, Caramel, Tina! I’m out, too!

@B3

There are a few people I can reach out to.

@Diva

LOL, yeah, I remember those days! And your yard sales, lol.

I think I may have seen Rozza post occasionally as well. She’s hilarious.

Have a good one, all

@ Syd–

Oh yes! I’ve got several on my ** and ***

?

@Marquis

That sounds like a fun experience.

@Diva

I have a few minutes, girl, what’s up? I can check back in later, too.

@ YOU SMELL ME – LOL, I agree with everything you said. People still act like this is 1910, when you got married at 17 and moved from your family’s farm to your own little shack right down the road. Please…

The average age of 1st time marriages in the US is 27 for females and 29 for males. And rising. Let’s not even discuss divorce rates. When did it become more acceptable to be divorced rather than never married. Seems backwards to me…

Lol @ the yard sales!!!

@5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS

I have been lurking around this site for a while now and I have see plenty of negative articles about black men. It is evident that you took offense to my statements, if my opinions didn’t apply to you then you should of ignored them. It is that simple.

@Psych Major

I am really enjoy your input sista,You seem so Candid and level headed. Those attributes are definitely admirable in a woman. Your husband is a lucky man.

I’ll check in later, Diva. Didn’t you have a yard sale after MJ p-a-s-s-e-d? lol

Psych Major

6/22/10, 17:18:pm

@Eye on you**Thank you, I was not offended by your list.In fact, the ironic thing is that I am a marriage counselor so the things that you listed are many reasons why people have marital problems. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers but I must be honest,SOME women that I come across really don’t know how to be a wife.They don’t want to cook, be intimate (or intimate when it suits them),don’t keep up their appearance,unwilling to compromise,impatient, and the list goes on.Like you stated, being in a marriage is team work, you have to work together not against each other.
_______________________________________________

I would tend to agree. But since you’re a marriage counselor, I’m getting married next year, and I have a question for you. Have you ever come across a Black woman who was totally unrealistic in her demands on her husband, and did not want to admit that she was in any way at fault as a result of it??? Please do tell us what you advised them to do? I ‘m not asking for names, or anything that would be considered confidential, but out of curiosity, I’d like to know what your advice was…

@ eye on you: the best ones are the ones not settling for the trash they are confronted with. gtfoh,. some 30 yr old blk women still look 20 with the body to match. gtfoh again. I could come up with some LIST FOR YOUR AZZ, BUT MY SELF ESTEEM ISN’T SO LOW THAT I’D HAVE TO HURL SUBTLETYS AT THE ENTIRE RACE OF BLK MEN. THANK YOU.

Lol @You Smell Me

@Tina yes we do!

And they can contact me via email because I know their employees have seen me post it in 2 threads.

@Sydney – Right!!! Lol

I think we can all agree that there are a few brave soldiers who post on this site who do not engage in race or gender baiting, share intelligent opinions, and speak against negative generalizations.

They’re kinda hard to see through all the “trolls”, but they’re definitely there…

5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS:

eye on you: the best ones are the ones not settling for the trash they are confronted with. gtfoh,. some 30 yr old blk women still look 20 with the body to match. gtfoh again. I could come up with some LIST FOR YOUR AZZ, BUT MY SELF ESTEEM ISN’T SO LOW THAT I’D HAVE TO HURL SUBTLETYS AT THE ENTIRE RACE OF BLK MEN. THANK YOU.
____________________________________________

oh lord smfh…lmfao!!! you are giving off a very negative and deplorable aura.

I will let you win this one, I’m not the argumentative type and I’m definitely not trying to engage in meaningless drama over the internet with individuals that I will never come in contact with in real life. So can have this one.

@ KEEP IT REAL: BEING THIN IS NOT EVEN APPLAUDED IN BLACK CULTURE. THANK YOU.

Bye Tina!

What’s up Tru?!

@ eYE ON you: YEAH, PAINT ME AS THE ARGUMENTATIVE TYPE WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S THROWING OUT INSULTING LISTS. YOU’RE GIVING OFF AN AURA OF A LOSER WHO’S HOSTILE AGAINST BLK WOMEN BECAUSE THEY’VE CLOWNED YOUR AZZ OR YOUR A BOTTOM FEEDING WOMAN FROM ANOTHER RACE THAT’S SCREWING A BLK DUDE.

LIKE I SAID, I’VE GOT SOME L I S T S FOR YOUR A Z Z . YET, I DO MY BEST TO CONSTRAIN MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.

@Truly S. Blaque

Yes we can. And it’s good to see you back on here again as well.

@5’10

Calm down girl!!!

@B3fEARLESS: YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T READ HIS POSTS AND SEE ALL THE SUBLETYS HE THROUGH AT AHEM “BLACK WOMEN”. WHY COULDN’T HE HAS SAID ALL WOMEN? SMH

@ Syd–

If you are still here, let me kow. I had to step away from my desk for a minute.

Thanks–

THEY SIT ON THEIR DISEASED AZZEZ WITH THEIR DISEASED WHO. RES AND OFFER ALL THIS AHEM “ADVICE” TO BLACK WOMEN AS IF THEY’RE ANY BETTER, OR EVEN DIFFERENT FOR THAT MATTER. SMH. DON’T LET ME MAKE A LIST.

Come on now!!! he fine , she fine, he packing, she put it on me…….now lets have a relationship…thats how it really goes and the reason why shyt don’t work. Folks let the physical cloud all reasonable thought as to who they are getting involved with until its to late…….

Oh here we go!

*Know.

Well according to THAT list, I’m wifey material. Now I just have one question; where’s the requirements or checklist for the brothas??

@1TruDiva w/ the PlatinumVocals–I’m just too good to be true!!!:

Hey girl!!

that damn sh#$ disturber

6/22/10, 15:09:pm

i’ll be wifey material when i’m in my 40s, calmed down and have more patience for people and their bullsh@#. til then i’ll keep trolling the blogs for sh@#s and giggles…:)
_______
ROLF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m already a wifey but I think single ladies shld take notes on some of these things cuz they make a good point.

@B3 Fearless

Voicing my opinions on this site is completely pointless, especially When I encounter sistas that quickly dismiss my opinions even when they have complete validity.

There was one sista on here that was positive about having dialogue so I really appreciated that.

For the most part though Black men and Black women don’t know how to communicate anymore, and it is very exhausting to have a honest conversation with sistas these days.

@DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)

Exactly, black women constantly run to the media spewing hateful generalizations about black men, and black women seem to find no fault in any of there actions. They perpetuate garbage and propaganda to the media in a attempt to completely slander Black Men.

I’m still confident I can find a positive sista to marry one day, If I can’t find a African American woman then I will get a foreign black woman. I want my children, especially my future sons to resemble me so the whole interracial thing is out of the question for me. I respect anyone else chooses that path though. Get love wherever you can find it.

Oh yeah let me rephrase that, I’m already married. So I’m not a wifey but a wife cuz sum ppl say wifey n they aren’t even close to anybody asking them to marry them.

@5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS
6/22/10, 17:39:pm
@ KEEP IT REAL: BEING THIN IS NOT EVEN APPLAUDED IN BLACK CULTURE. THANK YOU.
___________________________________

Who said thin? 180lbs is thin? Is that what your saying. Why don’t you tell us what’s applauded by “BLACK MEN” since I don’t know what I’m talking about.

@5’10

At a social event who would get more play from BLACK MEN In order from most to least.

Kelly Rowland, Amber Rose and Jill Scott.

@
B3 Fearless

6/22/10, 15:25:pm

Hi LaDiva, Matix, Yun Dun Know, etc.

I agree about the comments about wifey vs. wife and LaDiva that comment about every1 (men and women) being “Too busy playing the field and never getting to home.” That comment is right on the money.

I’m not sweating marriage tho. I see it as an ideal that I would love to have, but I really don’t see myself freaking out about it if it never happens.

I really do enjoy my life, I have my son and I have experienced real love once so overall if I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow single and all I’m good!
________
GOSH YOU ARE THE TRUTH!!!!

tired of seeing blk women lied on and disrespected day after day, sadly MOSTLY BY BLACK MEN!!! smmfh. guranteed the ones talking sheet COULD N E V E R GET THE CREM DE LA CREM OF BLK WOMEN. LIKE I said, if ALL YOU KNOW IS TRASH, THAT’S A REFLECTION OF YOU.

@ DAYWALKER – It is not perfectly acceptable. And let’s say that your initial statements were true and that ALL black women dogged ALL black men…why would you want to bring yourself down to their level by hurling your own b.i.a.s.e.d generalizations? And I’m pretty sure you’ve been present on threads where sistas have, in fact, defended brothers against other sistas who tried to lump them all into one negative category.

@5’10″ AKILLAH RICHARDS

Hey black men love women with curves. The only difference in what I’m saying is that these young professional BLACK MEN like 180 curves not 220lbs 250lbs+ curves. JMO

@5’10

I read all of his posts there was nothing offensive in them and he didn’t generalize all black females.

His posts were definitely ones where I just felt, “If it don’t apply, let it fly.”

I actually appreciated his point of view.

I g2g. It’s 6:15 my time so my work day is over, but you enjoy the rest of your day!

don’t get me wrong blk women need to stop talking sheet, too. but they’re never talking sheet about these race traiting azz blk men. stop fighting over their azzez, stop crying over them and let them go.

@ keep it real: At a social event who would get more play from BLACK MEN In order from most to least.

Kelly Rowland, Amber Rose and Jill Scott.

First, i wouldn’t go near either one of them, even if I DID like women. Second, I don’ t give a sheet what blk men want, honestly. Third, i said being thin is not applauded in black CULTURE.

@ Eye on you, Thank you brother I am lucky woman.!!

@ Daywalker- I will answer your question in a few,finishing paperwork, trying to get out this office!!

Well, obviously we have a different definition of thin. Are you telling me that 180 is thin? At what height

If only we could start our own threads, maybe Daywalker & 5’10″ could go there and debate amongst themselves how black women aren’t sh*t and how black men aren’t sh*t. I wonder how long it will take them to figure out that they’ve just discredited an entire race of people.

SMH…

@Eye On U

Well I for one don’t think it’s pointless because there are more ppl who read what you say than you think.

I actually responded to your original post and so did some 1 else you may not have noticed but it doesn’t change that there were a couple of us who acknowledged what you had to say from the male perspective.

I can understand you choosing not to want to argue because I share the same attitude and if I feel like something like that is going to happen I keep it moving.

But your opinion does matter.

Frankly I feel we all have been silent for far too long and that’s why our community is as f-ed up as it is.

We need to have respectful dialogue with each other. Of course we’re not going to agree and it’s great to have a heated debate.

I encourage you to share your opinion. It only takes one small rock to make a ripple in some one else’s life or mindset.

@blackJaguaress

Glad you can appreciate my perspective.

The funny thing is a lot of women who THINK and/or BELIEVE that they are “wifey” material are ACTUALLY very far from it, LOL…

If these women are SOO wonderful and such a great catch how come they can’t keep a good/decent man???

*Note – I didn’t say “get a man” because as long as you have a pu$$y you can get a man…

Ask them and they’ll blame others as opposed to looking at themselves as the root cause of their relationship problems…

Immaturity more times than not is there biggest problem, if you ask me…

I THINK IM PMSing. lol. sorry. but i get tired of seeing blk women mocked in this blog.

Akillah is a prime example of a hood rat woman, this is the problem in the community. Talking about fellas who cant get the creme de la creme as if this is a valid point for geting a woman. Hood rats always screaming and yelling and never acknowledging their faults”

This is black womens problem you base everything on looks or materialism. What is a black man who can get the creme de la creme, a man like Denzel or Shamar moore. A black man who can get the Creme de la Creme, could he talk abusively about you black women or something. Sillyness of females

Truly.S.Blaque

6/22/10, 18:14:pm

@ DAYWALKER – It is not perfectly acceptable. And let’s say that your initial statements were true and that ALL black women dogged ALL black men…why would you want to bring yourself down to their level by hurling your own b.i.a.s.e.d generalizations? And I’m pretty sure you’ve been present on threads where sistas have, in fact, defended brothers against other sistas who tried to lump them all into one negative category.
_______________________________________________

I’m not saying that ALL black women do anything, but I will say that they need to LISTEN sometimes as opposed to denying all their problems, hun. I know BLACK men have issues too, and you’ll get no argument from me that they don”t, but this entire thread was about black women, yet they still fail to acknowledge the fact that they are wrong when they are! That was my point. I’m not trying to slam anyone, but I refuse to tell any one they’re right when in my opinion they aren’t. I meant no ill towards any one, but I am using my god given right to voice my opinion on a subject I feel compelled to discuss. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my opinions, but it is your right to disagree with me, and I won’t take it personally if you do…

@
Eye On U

6/22/10, 16:28:pm
———
You seems to get it down to a T….so what do you think..if I let a man know that I’m a noisy freaky nympho would that make me more desirable in his sight?

Psych Major

6/22/10, 18:26:pm

@ Eye on you, Thank you brother I am lucky woman.!!

@ Daywalker- I will answer your question in a few,finishing paperwork, trying to get out this office!!
_______________________________________________

Same here! And thanks!!

mona
6/22/10, 15:46:PM
so let me get this straight..
1. Black women are lacking personality, yet all other races of women try to act like sistas
2. Black women are mot attractive, yet other races try to look like us with butt injection and silicone lips
3. Black woman are known to outnumber black on all college campus and we are more likely to seek even higher degrees thereafter…Masters, PhDs. When did this statistic change?
4. Most of these educated women tend to go on to be quite financially secure, with great careers, making nice salaries and own nice homes.
5. Sprituality, again black women make up more of church congregations than black men. Go to any church and you will see a large number of single black successful, single black women. Most of the black men you see will be there with there woman. You will NOT find a equal # of single successful black men unless they are gay ( just being honest)
And I would like to say the above describes ME!!! And about 6 of my l black female friends. We are all single, successful, attractive and financially stable women who love the Lord and long for a husband. We go on extravagant trips to the islands with each other. We all fall into this neatly defined layout of a wife but are not wives, so I am struggling to understand How do we REALLY fit into the equation of these”wifey material” standards exactly. Maybe We have become too much of those good things on that list and it has made the black man feel inferior, that is my guess. I don’t know, but I will keep being the best me I can be while the world White men and women and now my own brothas beats me down and tells me I am nothing. Funny thing is, when the black man was locked up, belittled, etc, we black woman stood our ground. We stayed by our man’s side. Even today, while our men stand with “them” and spit in our face and call us nothings, we still refuse to go get a white man. We will be here when yall figure it out, because we ARE loyal and faithful. WE ARE GOOD WOMEN no matter how you dice it!
===============================================
WTF?????

WHO THE HELL SAID ALL OF THAT????

Lol @ 5’10

I understand, girl and usually it’s to the right party, but today Eye for U wasn’t on the I hate black women committee.

@Unc

That long post was from mona. I remember it’s one of those posts I ignored because I knew it was going to stear us into a race debate.

blackJaguaress(my blk sis do somthin’about that unsightly fat please!)

6/22/10, 18:32:pm

@
Eye On U

6/22/10, 16:28:pm
———
You seems to get it down to a T….so what do you think..if I let a man know that I’m a noisy freaky nympho would that make me more desirable in his sight?
______________________________________________

Not only does that make you more desirable, it also makes your stock go up about 50 points, it makes us notice 20% fewer of your flaws, and also makes us forget the fact that you can’t cook like momma!

B3 Fearless

6/22/10, 18:40:pm

Lol @ 5’10

I understand, girl and usually it’s to the right party, but today Eye for U wasn’t on the I hate black women committee.
_______________________________________________

Me neither…

@ 5’10″ – I understand, to a point. This site is filled with a lot of members of The Hate Black Wmn Club, but there are also a few good brothas who do not lump all black women into one negative category. Seek them out and converse with them, even if opinions differ. Don’t fall into the trap of flinging negative stereotypes at them..that’s really all they want. We know there’s good black men out there. Yes lord, there are… *where’s my church fan?*

Matix B BIG UP ALL BLACK MEN & WOMEN
6/22/10, 15:55:PM
Clark: We are a work in progress and will walk with you too if you let us.
=============================================
Us Men too, Matix B!!

Much of what I said ISN’T directed towards the Women on here who tend to be fair, my comments are directed towards those who are not as fair AND THEIR DEFENDERS.

@EYE ON YOU: I have been lurking around this site for a while now and I have see plenty of negative articles about black men. It is evident that you took offense to my statements, if my opinions didn’t apply to you then you should of ignored them. It is that simple.

IT’S CALLED “TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM”- something a lot of these MEN who are BLACKER than I am cant seem to do. You’ll pay me later, ladies. lol. i bet if I made a LIST, you’d take offense too. TRUST ME YOU WOULD.

I know Daywalker!

@Clarkekent3000

Do you mind me calling you Unc or does that make you feel old?

DAYWALKER

thats the problem. its always about black women. i think we as an entire community have been doing much better. more men in college than prison (READ NEW STATS NOT 90′S STATS). more women are in college instead of welfare and with the new health care plan there will hopefully be fewer abortions. we should be a little more positive and keep going hard.

Truly.S.Blaque

6/22/10, 18:43:pm

@ 5’10″ – I understand, to a point. This site is filled with a lot of members of The Hate Black Wmn Club, but there are also a few good brothas who do not lump all black women into one negative category. Seek them out and converse with them, even if opinions differ. Don’t fall into the trap of flinging negative stereotypes at them..that’s really all they want. We know there’s good black men out there. Yes lord, there are… *where’s my church fan?*
_______________________________________________

Exactly! I state my opinions, and leave it at that. I adore my sistas, but at the same time, I (Much like my parents) will tell them when I think they are wrong. The fact that a lot of them take offense is their own issue, but speaking as a brother who’s been on both sides of the argument, I can honestly say that since I met my girl, I have gotten effed with as a result of it on a daily basis on here, yet I see no one telling the people who keep up that foolishness to refrain from it, but I guess there’s a selective rationale behind who gets told that they are wrong on here and for what reasons, eh???

@Psych Major

Copy your posts before you hit submit hon it will help you out and save you time and then you can check for the words that may keep you from being able to post it on the thread.

@ DAYWALKER – “For example, if I was to go hang out with my boys and stayed out all night, my fiancee will lose it and go off on my azz when I get home, but a lot of the time, my prior white girlfriends would just ask if I had a nice time with my friends, but they would express their displeasure in a different way as opposed to yelling and screaming. Not that I make it a habit of staying out late a lot, but I know what to expect with a Black woman as compared to a White one the majority of the time.”

I’m sorry that I read this to be an argument based on race, rather than individuals… And yes share your opinion, I’m glad you won’t hold it against me if I disagree. Just try to keep in mind that not all black women have the same “problems” that society has labeled us with.

china

6/22/10, 18:52:pm

DAYWALKER

thats the problem. its always about black women. i think we as an entire community have been doing much better. more men in college than prison (READ NEW STATS NOT 90′S STATS). more women are in college instead of welfare and with the new health care plan there will hopefully be fewer abortions. we should be a little more positive and keep going hard.
_______________________________________________

And I would agree with you if not for one thing: I’ll agree that there are more BLACK men in jail than in college, but the question is: What are we as a community going to do to fix that? I have my degree, and I’m one of the minority of black men who do, but my question is why is it that these man constantly get told that “THEY AIN’T SHYT”, and all the myriad number of things that women enjoy telling men when they are hurt or emotional, yet they go back to these self same “NO GOOD N*GGAHS” and more often than not become pregnant by them. I know this sounds negative to say, but these women need to realize that LOVE is sometimes work. It’s not like lifting weights where the more you do it, the stronger it gets, as a matter of fact, in my opinion, true love is effortless and isn’t like work at all…Perhaps they need to take responsibility for their own actions as opposed to discussing the misgivings of others???

The insults against black women were more subtle. Some people hit high. Some hit low. Keep your head up and listen CLOSELY ladies.

Tina or Call Me T
6/22/10, 16:49:PM
@Syd
Girl, I thought the same thing yesterday — you’re referring to the daily discussions around election time, right? Those were some of the best conversations I’ve ever read on this site. Those days are long gone, it seems.
———————–
Yeah, around election time in 2008 and after it. The same people were still blogging together or just posting in 2009 in the summer…….. Those were the best conversations I have ever read on here……. Now people just stereotype, but don’t won’t bloggers to stereotype them…….. A reunion would be very nice, don’t you think?
@Caramel
I agree. Most of the women in here aren’t acting angry.
===============================================

Last I checked a woman doesn’t have to be angry to lie or make factually wrong statements! This is a general ladies,not to any one person in particular. I challenge you to let someone tell YOU,what you are suppose to think,do,and act and I bet you’d be upset too.

realist

hola brother from another mother. lol

5’10 was on a rant about black men PREFER fat women.

@ China – Um, that was a quote from Daywalker in my last post. So you can address your argument to him.

@ Daywalker – “I ask that all BLACK women and BLACK men learn to state their opinions in a respectful way to one another as opposed to making blanket statements based on stereotypical data as opposed to empirical fact.”

EXACTLY.

Clarkekent3000

6/22/10, 19:17:pm

Tina or Call Me T
6/22/10, 16:49:PM
@Syd
Girl, I thought the same thing yesterday — you’re referring to the daily discussions around election time, right? Those were some of the best conversations I’ve ever read on this site. Those days are long gone, it seems.
———————–
Yeah, around election time in 2008 and after it. The same people were still blogging together or just posting in 2009 in the summer…….. Those were the best conversations I have ever read on here……. Now people just stereotype, but don’t won’t bloggers to stereotype them…….. A reunion would be very nice, don’t you think?
@Caramel
I agree. Most of the women in here aren’t acting angry.
===============================================

Last I checked a woman doesn’t have to be angry to lie or make factually wrong statements! This is a general ladies,not to any one person in particular. I challenge you to let someone tell YOU,what you are suppose to think,do,and act and I bet you’d be upset too.
_______________________________________________

And to think that BLACK men were oppressed for over 400 years only to be subjugated by an offshoot of the community who subscribes to the notion that we need further emasculation, degradation and subjugation…..Pathetic at best, and these same women who subscribe to this will find that the same race of men that they would throw under a bus are those same men who have given their lives in defense of them….

Just one question. you guys must all be really old. The people who make sense you must be my generation?

“You must be in my generation”…….

daywalker

now your speaking my language. yes. this is the negative mess ive been saying. u barely hear about imprisonment much and welfare regards to the blk community because its going to be extinct soon. you barely hear about the things we have improved in our own lives. when its negative they shame and laugh at us. thats y the blogs focus on blk women and dating because its still a deep cut. but i have faith that we will come together. we need to help each other. a blk man helped me get into grad school. (studying and being my partner and staying my corner). i see the change. and congrats to your wedding. i know your soon to be wife in the shiznit.

LISTEN UP! Any blind man can see that black men just simply aren’t attracted to black women.
#2 is really important when it comes to who gets married and over the years,many if not most black men have become more attracted to Euro/less black features.So they like black women with more Euro features than the average looking black woman.
Even if every black woman in the world lost weight and had the best shapes, the problem of being single would still be an issue;if all the black women in the world had the most pleasant attitudes in the world,this issue would still exist.
This is not all black men,but many of them either consciously or unconsciously feel this way. Don’t act like you don’t see it!! And black men don’t act like you and/or most of friends don’t feel that way!!
Men like beautiful women and unfortunately,what is considered beautiful in many men eyes,including black men, are the women with Euro/non-black or less black features.

china

6/22/10, 19:29:pm

daywalker

now your speaking my language. yes. this is the negative mess ive been saying. u barely hear about imprisonment much and welfare regards to the blk community because its going to be extinct soon. you barely hear about the things we have improved in our own lives. when its negative they shame and laugh at us. thats y the blogs focus on blk women and dating because its still a deep cut. but i have faith that we will come together. we need to help each other. a blk man helped me get into grad school. (studying and being my partner and staying my corner). i see the change. and congrats to your wedding. i know your soon to be wife in the shiznit.
______________________________________________

Personally, I think she’s AMAZING! Matter of fact, just ask B3 Fearless, or I can send you a picture of her if you’d like. Just send an email to snipslife @ vzw dot blackberry dot net, and I’ll send you one, but let me know who you are e-mailing as so as to prevent the trolls from having access to the pictures I’ll send you.

@Clark

Last I checked a woman doesn’t have to be angry to lie or make factually wrong statements!
———————–

They don’t, but when they are angry, you can usually tell because their is attitude that comes with their posts, along with stereotypes. That goes back to me discussing on this blog the strong black woman syndrome that some women yell so frequently, and it’s the reason why I don’t speak the SBW mantra. It sends the wrong message nowadays. JMO……. Men and women on these blogs comes across as negative and bitter about life, and people can usually pick up on it in their comments.

I challenge you to let someone tell YOU,what you are suppose to think,do,and act and I bet you’d be upset too.
—————————-

You know what? It depends on how they approach me with their opinions, and the tone of their comments, and I also take into consideration what they usually converse about……. If they’re always negative, I don’t want to have the conversation, because in general, I don’t like to be around negative people…… I’m always up for intelligent dialogue and usually will respectfully disagree. I have been told numerous times that a blogger didn’t agree with me……. People have told me that thought my opinions were wrong (for example, about the SBW syndrome), and I still responded to them in the same respectful manner they approached me…….. Now I have had people stereotype me and black women, but I didn’t respond with more stereotypes. Why? Because I know all black men aren’t walking stereotypes, not even most of the ones I know.

i guess cause im young, i dont take this serious nor do i think about it. ahhh just live your life. if its meant to be ahhh it will happen. (but ahh one thing) People U need to stop rushing to get married, thats why most people dont stay together long these days. omg get to know the guy first before falling in love with him/no matter what he says. LEARN THE GUY FIRST!!! I THINK IT WILL LAST LONGER THO AND BE MORE EXCITING… BUT IN THE MEAN TIME MAKE SURE U GOT YOUR STUFF TOGETHER, SO WHEN EVER THAT TIME COMES YOU WILL BE READY. TRUST.. U WILL KNOW AND FEEL WHEN YOUR READY TO TAKE THAT NEXT STEP… but ahh what more can i say~ im just ah 23 year old doing her own thang lol

Lilo

6/22/10, 19:37:pm

LISTEN UP! Any blind man can see that black men just simply aren’t attracted to black women.
#2 is really important when it comes to who gets married and over the years,many if not most black men have become more attracted to Euro/less black features.So they like black women with more Euro features than the average looking black woman.
Even if every black woman in the world lost weight and had the best shapes, the problem of being single would still be an issue;if all the black women in the world had the most pleasant attitudes in the world,this issue would still exist.
This is not all black men,but many of them either consciously or unconsciously feel this way. Don’t act like you don’t see it!! And black men don’t act like you and/or most of friends don’t feel that way!!
Men like beautiful women and unfortunately,what is considered beautiful in many men eyes,including black men, are the women with Euro/non-black or less black features.
_______________________________________________

Actually, I have to disagree with you there. I love women who have friendly attitudes, and nice curvy bodies as opposed to a woman’s skin. I have dated really light, bright, damn near white sistas as well as really dark women, and guess what? At the end of the day they were women. I treated them the way I would treat any woman, and if I chose to go out with them I certainly made them feel as though they were special and made them feel as comfortable as possible. If more men made women feel cared about as opposed to making them feel like a piece of azz, they wouldn’t have a lot of the hangups that they presently do….

B3 Fearless
6/22/10, 18:51:PM
@Clarkekent3000
Do you mind me calling you Unc or does that make you feel old?
===============================================
as an UNCLE of three( I have no kids),It doesn’t bother me a bit B3,but I was wondering how I got to acquire that distinct honor? lol!

I am not troubled because I am 41 years old and look great for my age. I don’t mind.I am comfortable in my skin.

I blog here because I love to write. I love to debate,interact with others,and play a part in a free exchange of ideas.I gain nothing personally out of posting, except enlightenment of others and to be heard. Thanks for asking,and I apologize for generalizations I may have been guilty of in the past. It is easy to fall into that “mob mentality” I see now, I must remain credible in order to not be the hypocrite I detest most.

Clarkekent3000

6/22/10, 19:47:pm

B3 Fearless
6/22/10, 18:51:PM
@Clarkekent3000
Do you mind me calling you Unc or does that make you feel old?
===============================================
as an UNCLE of three( I have no kids),It doesn’t bother me a bit B3,but I was wondering how I got to acquire that distinct honor? lol!

I am not troubled because I am 41 years old and look great for my age. I don’t mind.I am comfortable in my skin.

I blog here because I love to write. I love to debate,interact with others,and play a part in a free exchange of ideas.I gain nothing personally out of posting, except enlightenment of others and to be heard. Thanks for asking,and I apologize for generalizations I may have been guilty of in the past. It is easy to fall into that “mob mentality” I see now, I must remain credible in order to not be the hypocrite I detest most.
_______________________________________________

You’re cool bro. Trust me when I tell you that if you said something that I didn’t agree with, I’d tell you, but as you said earlier: Just because you’re pro BLACK MAN, it doesn’t make you ANTI BLACK WOMAN…THERE is a difference…

Tina or Call Me T
6/22/10, 19:41:PM
=================================
I feel you and If you remember I purposely stated that wasn’t directed toward you but to whom the guilt lies….I am totally aware that it comes from the male side of the aisle as well,but again,those are rabble-rousers.

humble, a woman has to be humble. no man likes a loud mouth who wants to take your place as the man in the relationship.

This world would have to end…….

For any of you 2 understand what a true marriage intels. Husband material/wifey material lol please!!!

Put it this way………You get married in churches and turn around a get divorced in court!

YOu rather choose This devils way of marriage than Gods……….good luck!

@DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)

_______________________________________________
You’re cool bro. Trust me when I tell you that if you said something that I didn’t agree with, I’d tell you, but as you said earlier: Just because you’re pro BLACK MAN, it doesn’t make you ANTI BLACK WOMAN…THERE is a difference…
================================================
You as well! I got your back bruh on some Tango and Cash,Ish!
They need to know that you cannot defeat LOGIC!

@Clark

I got that it wasn’t directed towards me……. Attitude comes from our aisle too brother, and I have tried to address that as well, especially when women say they don’t need men to raise children because they’re strong. Usually when I talk about the strong black woman mantra (like I did a lot a couple of years ago), it doesn’t go well……. But I’m getting off topic, lol. Like I said earlier, I was just raised traditionally.

I hit a nerve. I just don’t see how black adults can have a discussion about single black women and or marriage material black women without discussing weight. Weight not as the sole determining factor, but as a relevant contributing cause. It’s like discussing marriage material black men and not being able to talk about black men who are unemployed and also uneducated and unskilled. I just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t do things that don’t make sense. “Shrugs” I’m out

@Day

LOL, I know. I can tell you love your girlfriend, and that’s a good thing, no matter if she was white or Asian…….. Respect for women is always a plus, and the men who display it, should be appreciated.

*didn’t go well

*had problems with dating black men

Please do look over any other typos I missed.

??????

6/22/10, 19:53:pm

why is every tread making it seem like black women are desperate to be in a relationship??? what if black women are just content with in them selves and doing them.. until they feel ready// building her self up. Just bcs we are single it dont mean every one of us are looking, I know I am not. I am doing me!!! In this day and time black man are BIG FAT LIERS @ least from my opinion. Lie about everything, what he does, his past, approche you while they have a baby mama waiting for him in a house or present him self as if he is single..insecure insecure insecure bcs he has this and that he thinks he can buy love(who is that guy on dancing with the stars) buying ***** for his partner(insecure) trying to validate him self by material, why do you think every race likes black man, bcs he is insecure he will do anything to cover that in secrity he has(material) ya why is every rap song about, I got this I got that(dont make you who you are)!!! Let me ask you yes, you can hide behind this computer and feed us all your bull crap but how many of you men have never been arrested, cheated on your girl friend, used and abused that pure black women’s love for you…black women, the root to the problem is not you so let it go. They have to fix them selves, stop fighting a fight that is not yours!!!
______________________________________________

Well, let’s see: I have never been arrested, I am in a committed relationship with a woman I plan on marrying next year, I have a Mechanical Engineering degree, I have a good job (Which I haven’t left yet, but I need to! LOL!) I have no children, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER cheated on any female that I’ve ever been with! Now if we had broken up, I didn’t make any bones about going out with other women, but as a general rule, I don’t enjoy hurting women emotionally, if I can avoid it; and my wife to be still wants to kick my EX girlfriend’s azz to this day as a result of some of the things she did in an attempt to get me to come back to her, but I wouldn’t let her beat her azz, because as I explained to her: She can want me back all she wants, but every time she looks at my face in a picture, she’ll remember what she lost, and that in itself is reason enough not to kick her azz, because she’s already lost more than just a fight….(Plus, she’s too cute to fight over me, and although I realize that she was brazzed off, she’s too much of a lady to act that way!)

*peeks in cautiously*

Diva, are you still here?

Hey Tina *waves*

Tina or Call Me T

6/22/10, 20:07:pm

@Day

LOL, I know. I can tell you love your girlfriend, and that’s a good thing, no matter if she was white or Asian…….. Respect for women is always a plus, and the men who display it, should be appreciated.
______________________________________________

Like I said before: All men need to show their women that they care. There’s nothing soft about a man that lets his woman know that she’s the one, and I can tell you from experience that when I hold her in my arms and look down into her eyes, I can tell from the look in her eyes that she just melts…Yup, I got it like that, but she does the same thing to me. She has this little twist she does when she walks, and that is just the sexiest thing in the world to me…

Sydney™

6/22/10, 20:22:pm

*peeks in cautiously*

Diva, are you still here?

Hey Tina *waves*
_______________________________________________

Good evening, SYDNEY….

“Good evening, SYDNEY….”

What, you’re not angry anymore? Things have simmered down?

LMAO @ Day

It’s good the two of you have a great relationship and melt over each other…… I always liked for men to express their feelings openly about their girlfriends or fiancees.

Hey Syd!

Sydney™

6/22/10, 20:34:pm

“Good evening, SYDNEY….”

What, you’re not angry anymore? Things have simmered down?
________________________________________________

I wasn’t angry in the first place. But I am almost outta here, though! My lil’ honeybunny is on her way over here so we can go grab a bite here in a bit, but if I came off as being upset earlier, I really wasn’t.

SORRY BUT NONE OF YOU CHIC’S ARE MARRIAGE MATERIAL ,..ALOTTA OF YOU ARE TO SUPERFICIAL MATERIALISTIC AND CHEATERS AND EXCELLENT LIARS ,…MARRIAGE IZ JOKE NOW,THE MOST HIGH IZ THE BOND THAT BRING TWO TOGETHER ,..NOT NO HOMO LOVE EITHER …AND IF HE MISSING IN THIS ENGAGEMENT THEN THAT CHIT IZ DOOMED FROM THAT VERY START ,..JUST PHUK I GUESS,WHY LIE AND PHUK UP EACH OTHER’S LIFE UP,..NAW MEEN??

@Day

“My lil’ honeybunny is on her way over here so we can go grab a bite here in a bit, but if I came off as being upset earlier, I really wasn’t.”

Yeah, you did, but have a wonderful evening! Bye! *waving*

I’m out all. Enough of the foolishness for one day.

Ciao ladies and gents.

@ Sydney–

I’m back. If you remember my e-mail address, let me know.

Bye Tina

@Diva

Yes, I still have it, girl. Would you like for me to e-mail you?

See ya, Tina!

PLEASE?????

um, w/ the TWO murdered girlfriends/mothers posted today, at the hands of their long time significant others, I’mma have to go with NO.

Thugs aren’t the only ones murdering women & children. Just not sure about dudes in the US
shady.

Hold on, Diva. I’m looking now.

@Diva

I just sent you a message.

Syd–

Did you get the detailed e-mail I just sent?

Nerve wracking,, isn’t it?

@ GLOK–

WITW- is your gravatar?

Lol!!!

none of those qualities tell me that you’ll be a good mother or wife.
_______________________________________________

@BLACKHAWK

I feel you…

After chemistry & compatibility, that’s all I pay attention to = qualities that show me that she’ll be a good friend, good wife and good mother…

F*ck a list…

@ Sydney–

Thanks a bunch for listening!

WTH? No one would aspire to be a “wifey” if they understood the meaning of that term. It merely means you are the preferred woman out of any number of other women that your man is dealing with. Fidelity is not expected out of the man; his only obligation is toward the woman is materially and his public displays that she is the main woman. Hopefully this discussion is based on ideal characteristics to become a WIFE.

@ Eye on You
I agree with all of your tips except #5 (okay I’m a bit conservative in that department).

@ Daywalker
I love to see read about how much yyou love your fiancee. It’s so inspiring and sweet especially in light of the bitterness that so many of my brethren and sistren exhibit on here that leaves me SMH.

Damn right I am! Better question would be are you hubby material? More women are better wives then men are husbands.

Slide i hear u, i think a lot of women look in the mirror and say to themselves i got a cute face and a phat azz, i know i’m good. They don’t even try to develop other qualities, and they can’t understand for the life of them while they get a lot of male attention why isn’t anyone trying to wife them.

Tina or Call Me T

6/22/10, 20:01:pm

@Clark

I got that it wasn’t directed towards me……. Attitude comes from our aisle too brother, and I have tried to address that as well, especially when women say they don’t need men to raise children because they’re strong. Usually when I talk about the strong black woman mantra (like I did a lot a couple of years ago), it doesn’t go well……. But I’m getting off topic, lol. Like I said earlier, I was just raised traditionally.
============================================
That’s what I am talking about. I have it all in me to do right and worship my Queen,but I cannot,will not, travel a one way road. I need a woman(and have one) with traditional values-period. No pre- conditions,just the word, no violence and plenty of mutual respect and love. Thanks to you Ms.Tina for what you stand for and the open honesty and fairness you consciously chose to exhibit.

Hey Ms True Diva!

I may be wrong but i don’t think “wifey” was meant to be a derogatory word against women in anyway. I personally haven’t used the term wifey in years but i thought wifey was just another slang word for girlfriend. In matter of fact wifey wasn’t just your girl, but she was your best friend, your ride or die chick. We use to be like naw this girl is special thats wifey right there, meaning i would marry this girl. I could be wrong though

My bad, i meant to say “wasn’t” meant to be derogatory.

They don’t even try to develop other qualities
______________________________________________

@BLACKHAWK

A MATURE man of substance looks for more meaningful qualities in women and sees them as more than just a piece of pu$$y… Someone that they can have a quality future with and can also build with…

You know better, leave them bird brain broads alone and stay away from those drama loving hoodrats… They ain’t about sh*t and they ain’t about their business anyways…

Have fun out there but be careful!!!

Hi Mr. Kent!

And how are you this fine evening!

Absolutely Splendid my dear! How are you?

I’m OK…I’ve actually have better days!

@Glok

Funny

LOL, 1TRU DIVA,…LOOK LOVE IM JUST SHOWCASING THAT BEAUTY IZ IN THE EYE OF THE BEHIND,..TO BEHOLD NO MATTER WHAT THE SIZE!

BLKHAWK MAN I LOVED IT OUT THAT CHIT ATL WAS ABOUT GETTING MONEY ,… AND GETTING PUZY AND I HAD A CHIC DAMN NEAR EVERY NIGHT ,..THEY LOVED MY NY ACCENT AND MAN I LOVED THEM STRIP CLUBS ,..CLUB NIKKI’S AND BLUE FLAME AND SOME OTHER JOINTS ,…ALL THEM WOMEN HAD DONKS ,..HOW THE PHUK DO YOU GO FOR GAYISM WHEN ALL THAT NATURAL AZZ RUNNING LIKE BUFFALO OUT THERE ,..WOW ,..HEY CUZ YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A GAL YOU FEELING FROM 4YR AGO ,..WOW SHE MUSTA BEEN A BADAZZ CHIC ,…LOOK HOMEY IF YOU COULD GET IN TOUCH WITH HER ,..TELL HER HOW YOU BEEN FEELING ,..SOUNDS LIKE LOVE …AND ASK HER IF SHE SEEING SOME ONE ,..IF NO THEN ,..KICK THAT CHIT YOU KNOW SHE LIKE AND DO THE THINGS SHE LIKE ,..AND MOST IMPORTANTLY EXPLAIN THAT YOU A MATURE MAN NOW AND YOU STILL HAVE THOSE PLANS YOU PROMISE TO HER THEN ,..GOOD LUCK ON LOVE SON ,..BUT IF YOU STRIKE OUTT YOU STILL WIN,…ATL IZ PUZZY CENTRAL HAVE AT IT!

A lot of women here seem to shun any domesticated attributes of the older generations of women. The women that i do connect with here are almost always from small towns, to me they just seem to more into to the things that really matters.
______________________________________________

@BLACKHAWK

I know what you mean and can relate to that as well…

Some of these females out here nowadays, SMMFH… Sometimes you can tell by just looking at them that they ain’t about to cook or clean a damn thing!!!

They know how to work a microwave and use paper plates though…

F*ck Hamburger Helper, I want to see you cook a REAL meal WOMAN!!!

But anyways, like I was saying… I like Southern Women too, because a good number of them have “home training”, are feminine, are about taking care of their man, etc… You can introduce them to important people in your life and that Country Bumpkin’ sh*t that they say & do is kinda cute…

Slide i agree, i don’t deal with hoodrats or drama, trust me if i’m in a relationship, best believe she is a lady with substance. Respect brotha.

A good wife nowadays hardly exist. There are so many women but very few wives.

w.w.w.n.o.m.a.r.r.i.a.g.e.c.o.m

GLOK ur crazy as hell, but ur my kind of n@gga.

Slide, u i was on some shht back then, nothing serious happened we started butting heads a little bit, instead of me trying to work thru minor issues i was like f@ck it i’m done. I can admit it i do regret it now, but things happened for a reason. She fell out of touch, but she actually called me a few weeks ago. She still got make me feel a certain kinda way, but one problem she got a little shorty now, that shht make me pumped the brakes.

@Slide u know i tried to find her on facebook. She close her acct. changed her number, she still stays in Atlanta but she moved on another side of town. Hahaha she meant that i wasn’t going to find her. Thats was the problem she was bull-headed just like me.

She still got make me feel a certain kinda way, but one problem she got a little shorty now, that shht make me pumped the brakes.
_______________________________________________

@BLACKHAWK

Hmmm…

Well, that’s something that you gotta figure out on your own whether you can deal with that type of situation or not…

You’ll be alright and I say that because it seems like your social skills are just fine, you’re head is on right AND you’re in the A which has a ridiculous female to male ratio (*AND the women come up to men down there too)…

Good Luck and just remember that damn near EVERYONE has a hard time finding “the one”, regardless…

Later…

u know i tried to find her on facebook
______________________________________________

@BLACKHAWK

I be looking on that joint to see if some of these old females that I used to mess with (*that I’m considering hitting up for whatever reason) got fat, have kids and are married, etc…

@5’10′ YOU KEEP IT 100!!!

iM A PLUS SIZE WOMEN AND IF A MEN DOSE LIKE IT PLEASE KEEP IT MOVING.

The system is set up for us to fail in every way imaginable, there are soo many black males that are in prison there simply arent enough black males to go around, what if at least half of all men in prison were out in the streets there would be a lot more competition, men would have to step they game up cause if they stop actin right just like there is always another chick so be it for women, there would be another dude avalible waiting to take yo place… women simply out number men 10 to 1. I see too many fly single ladies out here that more than exemplify the five criteria listed above but cant find a decent man? They refuse to lower their basic criteria to be with low lives… Its almost like finding a needle in a haystack- decent, black men are few far and inbetween period. women lie, men lie, numbers dont.

IM WIFE MATERIAL, BUT I’M NOT READY TO GET MARRIED. MAYBE WHEN I TURN 40 I’LL SETTLE DOWN!!

Hebrew

Uhhh, who wants to marry a 40+ premenopausal bytch who don’t eat pork?

@MEEKAMEEK
YOU HIT THE NAIL DEAD ON THE HEAD! NUMBERS NEVER LIE! THATS WHY IM STILL SINGLE, BECAUSE THE BROTHERS LIKE TO HAVE THERE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. SHOW ME A DECENT MAN WITH SOME MORALS AND GOALS, AND I MIGHT SETTLED DOWN SOONER!

I got a place for you women to go to find a man. Alaska! There’s definatley more men here than women. Now, they’re mostly white and woodsy but there are a lot of brothers up here too. Not me by the way, I’m married and she happen to be white. Hell you try finding a compatible black woman in Alaska at 37. Good luck!! I’m out!!

WOW JUST LMAO @ THESE COMMENTS!

@Glok

Look at my previous comments.

@meekameek
@Hebrews 1:9-13

I see too many fly single ladies out here that more than exemplify the five criteria listed above but cant find a decent man? …..finding a needle in a haystack- decent, black men are few far and inbetween period. women lie, men lie, numbers don’t
_______________________
Their single because of issues with black men? Myth, Again this is a convenient excuse. Only maybe 30% of black women will sit up single for years waiting exclusively for a ”Good black man”. What about the other 70% who are open to dating non black men? Please, there are a lot of baller non black men out here. We are to believe these men are chasing all of these sisters and they’re patiently, loyally holding out for a “Good black man”. This is a myth for black men to convince them not to date non black women. Expl. Jill Scott says she only exclusively dates black men. Is she turning down all of these advances from non black men? I guess she broke the hearts of non black men around the country. Sorry, I’m not buying it

Hola,hi,hello,How,youuuu,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my school teacher told me once .QUOTE.HAVEING A WIFE is BEAUTIFUL.AND EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL,WHEN YOU,COULD FINE A GOODWIFE TOO BE A GOODHUSBAND.TOO.SON, WHEN YOU, GET OUT OF SCHOOL FINED A GOOD JOB andLOOK FOR WIFE.IT,S A..THRILL THAT LAST A LIFE TIME”‘!…..end QUOTE.>><.this one day when i get out school i am loooking forward TOO…thanks forreadin ..

Problem #1 is that so many of us aspire to be “wifey” which is not the same thing as being a wife. Wifey is the one who takes care of a man, has his kids, and never has the benefits of marriage. Then when this man leaves her to marry someone else, she is confused. Why is there no male equivalent to wifey? Probably because men have enough sense not to give their all to someone who is not going to return the love and support.

@Diva

“@ Sydney–

Thanks a bunch for listening!”

No problem, girl! I sent you a message this morning — let me know how you’re doing when you get a chance and if you need any further help. Thanks. *e-hug*

i personally would wanna be the WIFE…anybody can be a “wifey” but a wife is the one and only…get it right people

@KEEP IT REAL: She is in a state of denial just like almost all overweight black women. It’s sad. At least she tried to address her thoughts on the subject. Many of the most vocal on this blog run whenever a subject their uncomfortable with is brought up.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IM NOT FAT DUDE. I NEVER SAID “BLACK MEN PREFER FAT WOMEN”. I SAID BEING THIN IS NOT APPLAUDED IN BLACK C U L T U R E. I KNOW PLUS SIZE WOMEN WHO ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YES THEY HAVE MEN THAT LOVE THEM. DON’T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH, BUDDY.

whatever happen to those days when everything was just simple. a guy met a girl fall in love and eventually get married,please all this nowadays crap doesn’t work anyway, so what’s the point.

This article on bm and bw is more like it/realistic I like the accounting?accountability part!!!

@keep it real, come on keep it real, who said that black women are holding out for another black man? U did, and by the way we as black people are least desired race that others want to marry so I’m not sure where all these others dudes at u speak of. Let’s just face the fact that black men are imprisoned at an alarmingly high rate, compared to others convicted of the same crimes…if women out number men that makes for slim pickins, I didn’t say impossible just slim.some of the availble men out there r foul,no well meaning woman with any self respect wants, just like u dissin fat chicks….anyway love is more complex than the five criteria listed above but the fact still remains mo black women than men period. Men lie women lie NUMBERS DON’T.

oh geez here we go again. Not every woman is pressed to be married. Being married doesn’t define you. And why no post on whether men are husband material. This is the problem with society…we indoctrinate the sexes differently. They drill into little girl’s heads that the PERFECT life must include marriage, house and a baby. They teach little boys to go for the gusto and sow their royal oats so to speak and then maybe if they want to they can get married. If a woman isn’t married people think “oh what’s wrong with you” or that there must be some type of problem and general unhappiness. If a man goes unmarried it’s more like “oh you just chillin huh? oh you are taking your time huh” the standards are just so different it sickens me. Not every woman regardless of race is sitting around hoping and wishing for the day to be married.

this is why marriage is obsolete. this is what men have to worry about when considering “cuffing” a chic. is she wifey material? is she ran threw? am i “cuffing” a ho? a retired ho? is she running game on me because i h ave my shi together? so my question is why? why even cuff her if theirs so much left unknown? LETS BE HONEST ITS NOT LIKE SHE WILL TELL YOU THE COMPLETE TRUTH ABOUT HER PAST IF SHE STARTS TO FALL FOR YOU. so with that said. how about we just be buddies with benefits. but see it doesnt work that way. most black women will have that “im a queen” swag even if she isnt. so nice guys finish last in that respect.anyway ALL women deserve some sort of respect but these days “big money, big car, big d**ck,” mentality is what is preached to men and women. especially the youth. sorry ill stick with my girl even if she isnt ”100% full black” smh. at least i know where she is and trust her. lol well kinda. anyway the point is that marriage/love is seen as a weakness and corny. divorce is at an all time staggering high. fellas why play yourself. if you didnt manage to stay with or mold the chic from college or high school. shes damaged goodz fam. dont play yourself. explore teh world date whatever race of woman you can find that attracts you. no sense in trying to cuff a chic that dont want to be cuffed. you will be shocked how the ladies treat us outside our race

wow..This was a good article, I’m not afraid to say but I have some work to do…That’s probably why I keep picking the wrong type of men.

im 22 yrs old and ready to settle down every women is different