Dear Bossip: My Man Won’t Spoil Me Anymore

I want to know if I’m wrong for feeling this way. I’ve been living with my guy for about a year now and in the beginning I had no complaints. When we first met he would always take me shopping before we went out for the night and anything I wanted he would buy for me. If I like a pair of shoes he would show up with them or order them online and have them shipped to the house. If I said I wanted a dress he would give me the money for it. We used to go out to nice restaurants all the time and pop bottles at the clubs but we don’t even do that as much as we used to. I’m starting to get to a point where I’m annoyed by him hollering broke and always wanting to stay home and telling me to cook which I don’t do that well LOL!!! We’re young (he’s 28 and I’m 26) and we don’t have any kids or pets so I don’t see why we can’t have fun. I mean he used to give me $300 dollars to get my hair and nails done once a month and that stopped to!! I get Indian hair to so if he wants me to continue to look good I need upkeep LOL!!!! I don’t know if I sound like a spoiled brat but his generosity is a lot of the reason why I was so drawn to him. What should I do?

Good day, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing. Okay, wow! Where to start, where to start? You’re with a man who has been very generous but because he’s not buying you things and taking you out to “pop bottles” you’re annoyed? Why can’t you go out without him? Don’t you have girlfriends you can hit the clubs with?You can pop all the bottles you want with your girls! Why can’t you go out to nice restaurants anymore? Because he’s not paying, right? You are 26-years-old, sis! You’re a grown woman and you should be able to first, afford and maintain your own “upkeep” and second, take HIM out from time to time!

You very clearly stated that his generosity was what you were attracted to and now that he’s no longer spending, you’re not feeling him like you were. You realize we’re in a recession, right? Times are requiring that we not spend so frivolously! Perhaps the worst part is, not once did you mention what you bring to the table or what you’re willing to sacrifice to make things work! Do you have a job? Do you contribute to the household expenses? Have you tried to learn how to cook – not just for him but for yourself also? Can you find a less expensive type of weave to rock or can you go natural for a few months? Do you occasionally drop 20-25 dollars on the kitchen counter for his haircuts ever? You like the generosity but where’s the reciprocity? It goes both ways and you have to give too! Otherwise, you’ll suck him dry . . . if you haven’t already.

What should you do? It’s all up to you. Ask yourself and answer honestly. Do you really love this man or are you just using him? Are you truly invested, emotionally, in this relationship or was it all about the gifts, dinners and “upkeep” cash? If you don’t want him, let him go! There are so many women out there who would love to lounge around the house on the weekends and cook for/with an adoring man who possesses the willingness to shower her with gifts and dinners. And for most, it wouldn’t be an expectation or frequent necessity. If you do love him, show him everyday, be less concerned with nights out on the town and spend warm, cozy nights at the house with him!

What do you think about this one Bossip Readers?

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