Bad News For Matrimony-dom, Study Shows 1 In 5 Adults Are In Love With Someone Who Is NOT Their Partner

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Caught Creepin', Coupled Up, Divorces


A recent poll of 3,000 people in relationships showed that one in five adults are actually in love with someone other than their significant other.

That means that twenty percent of adults in relationships are in love with someone else. For reasons that are unknown, but likely have to do with finances, desire, children, and fear, people settle down in relationships even when their hearts belong to someone else.

The scariest part about this is just under five million people who are either married or living with a significant other could have strong romantic feelings for someone else.

DAYUUUM — that’s fu*ked up! What ever happened to that song “If you can’t have the one you love… love the one you’re with?”

Do you think this study is accurate? Why are so many people unhappy in their relationships? Does this study explain situations like Fantasia’s recent scandal and Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz relationship?

Is it more important for people to pursue what (or who) they really want, or to live by their vows and work to make the relationships they committed to successful?



  • what_am_iDoing


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  • Tracey

    So, it is just a case of wanting something you cannot have and lusting over it, if people knew the real meaning of love, they would be able to tell it apart from fantasy, lust, the tricks our minds play on us and our emotions and reality.

    Love is sticking with one person for 10-20 year, getting through the differences, getting through the arguments, accepting your partner and growing as one together and more!

  • BadAzz

    somewhat tru im in &#9829 with God and he's not my partner :)

  • BadAzz


  • Sleepless in Cali

    What should I do? My live-in boyfriend and I dated right after a hard break up between me and my ex. Years later, here we are, sharing a home and making plans for the future but I can't stop thinking and dreaming about my ex. I have seen him a few times recently just to try and settle my feelings and move on (dumb move- because it did nothing but reopen the wound). My ex says he loves me and I truly love my man, but I can't control my feelings for my ex. What would you do?

    • telli

      It's never a good idea to move too quickly after a breakup. I have never understood why people move from one relationship to another in short spans of time. I guess fear of being alone perhaps.

    • Torn in Texas

      Why are the administrators deleting my comments?

    • Just so you know

      Stop living a lie – that's what I'd do. It's not fair for you to keep up a relationship with a man who doesn't have 100% of your heart. He deserves more.

      It also seems like you didn't even give yourself enough "me" time after your break-up to fully heal from it and find yourself again before getting into another relationship. Please, take time to love yourself after you split with someone to ensure that 1) you're fully over that person 2) you are in the right mind to commit to whoever next comes into your life without excess emotional baggage from your previous situation

      You may feel like you've put a lot of years into this man to give up now but don't let that be a reason to stay with someone as it's a pretty flimsy reason

      Just think about it this way – if the shoe was on the other foot and your man still had feelings for his ex after all these years with you, how would you like him to handle the situation? Treat others the way you want to be treated….

    • Sleepless in Cali

      Thanks, I have gotten some really excellent advice and I know that I am going to make the right decision now. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Just so you know

      I'm glad that you were open-minded enough to consider my advice. At the end of the day it is your life and you have every right to do as you please lol. I'm just an outsider looking in…..

      But just for completeness, what decision have you reached? Enquiring minds wanna know lol

  • Myhairparadise

    They are not in love they probably in lust at best in like. Things always look better when they not with you fulltime
    check out myhairparadise dot com for hair care tips and hairstyles

  • joobi

    This is no great discovery here ppl. Ppl Always will want what they cant have. The solution is to either stick with who you have or dont marry so that you can play the field.

    • Curious1

      Right….I mean don't ask anyone to marry you…just don't bring it up and keep dating and sleepinjg around…This could be proof that BW are on to something…Staying Single to Mingle…lol….Gotta love it…just gotta love it…

    • SitTheF*ckDown


  • A Mess

    They should do this study and ask people with "arranged marriages" their opinion. In some culture, people marry for status, security etc. This is nothing new.

  • koko_2

    @honeylove If you know the "brown girl" in the picture then maybe you know that image was taken from a book cover and I'm sure her husband knows.

  • BayAreaChick

    Not surprised at all – there are many things that have no meaning at all anymore because we are self-righteous and want to do what feels right instead of what IS right. Marriage is just one of those things that no longer has any value or is cherished like it used to be, as is child innocence and honesty.

  • Kiss My A$$ Bossip

    I believe it, considering some of the things that I've witnessed & experienced at work…

    I've witnessed men hanging out with female co-workers a little bit TOO much… I personally don't believe that men & women can be friends like that (*spending A LOT of time with one another) without someone catching feelings…

    Sometimes when I randomly compliment a woman (*married or in a so-called serious relationship) you can tell in her response that she doesn't get complimented a lot or shown much appreciation… And that's sad…

    Too many people out there too pressed to be married and/or to say that they've got somebody and are in phony a$$
    relationships or loveless marriages…

    • BayAreaChick

      I agree with the work thing – I have seen way too many married people shamelessly and openly flirt with other individuals and it usually always leads to something else after work. I had a co-worker dating a married man in our office which his wife would frequent. It made me feel sleezy because I something about her life that she seemingly knew nothing about.

    • Resurrected

      I agree so many people are involved in working relationships. I work in HR and I can't tell you the amount of people trying to put there boyfriends and girlfriends on there insurance/ benefits when they should know that it is illegal. People just want what they want no matter if the reason is valid or not. Work relationships are usually trouble unless you are married to that person. We have become a society who does not think anymore we just follow the trends of people and the media.

    • nite stick

      I will agree with you there, I think a lot of ppl marry for financial wealth instead of long term partnership and love.

    • StarChild

      Too many people out there too pressed to be married and/or to say that they've got somebody and are in phony a$$
      relationships or loveless marriages…

      SO TRUE!

  • sukanya

    for me im not married just keeping my options open thats what i told the guy but the bad thing is i still like my ex and im not using him but im hoping the person could help me get over him because this happens with every guy i start to get to know


    @Sleepless in Cali
    You know, I know many women like you-you may still be in love with an ex while going with a new man.Let me tell you something–if you ex TRULY loved you,he would NOT BE YOUR EX,he would still be with you.Don't get yourself screwed up over old news.I'm warning you because I know a woman personally that didn't listen when i told her the same thing(she let her p*ssy make the decision for her) and now she's 45 with no man,she lost on both ends.the ex only came back to her because she was easy prey for him..If a man is there for you,helping you with a home and really looking forward to a future with you,don't be a fool and let old history mess it up–your ex is the same man that broke it off with you.You are going to mess up anything thats supposed to help your future if you go backards with that.

  • yah...

    they polled 3,000 people?!?!….that doesnt sound accurate ta me!!!

  • Cantria

    these comments are soooooooo hilarious! especially the first 2 comments… too funny

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