Happy Thursday, Bossip Readers! Here’s to another “Almost There Thursday,” the perfect precursor to the holiday weekend! So, over the last decade or so, neuroscientists have been researching the ever-mysterious emotional differences between men and women. As myth has it, men aren’t “in touch with their emotions and hardly express them” while women “wear their emotions on their sleeve” and cry at any given moment. In the realm of sex, it is also believed that there is a hint of emotional engagement for women by default. Well, guess what? That’s not true! In fact, quite the opposite. According to an article in Scientific American, recent studies have concluded, MEN show more activity in the emotional regions of the brain during sex while women, on the other hand, show NONE. No signs of emotional activity during sex and during an orgasm. Well, then why does she laugh, shed tears or get reflective afterwards, one might ask? And the answer is in the question . . . afterwards, when the brain returns to it’s standard state, emotions might rush in. Simple. Okay, to approach this theory from another vantage point, another study shows men are more apt to emotional suffrage in relationships than woman! According to Science Daily, the reason this true is because “their romantic partners are often their primary source of intimacy — in contrast to young women who are more likely to have close relationships with family and friends.”
Hmm, makes perfectly good, non-emotional, logical man-sense, does it not? Think about it, everybody has a male companion or family member that’s suffered through a love lost . . . and they take it pretty rough, right? The man can’t eat nor sleep. He might lose weight and regularly drown his sorrows with liquor in remembrance of “the time we had.” If it’s really bad, he’ll graduate to drunken texts and phone calls searching for answers. Men are lovesick for weeks and, sometimes, months after a breakup! It’s hard for them to let go too! Now, that’s not to discredit or degrade the integrity of a man but more so to prove that when they love, they love hard and strong because their emotions are invested! Unfortunately, they tend to love and invest in the wrong ones but that’s a different subject. So, ladies . . . maybe a little extra sensitivity and tenderness will go a long way with men after all! Let’s give it a go, but keep it simple!
Be Quiet- take your man to a serene outdoorsy spot or leave him alone in a room in your/his place where he can just sit and be still in body, mind a spirit. If he wants to talk, listen. If he doesn’t, that’s cool too. Just be there! If you can create a time and space where he can find peace, even if it’s just for a few minutes, he’ll appreciate you for it. Too often women take a man’s occasional desire for space and silence personally. But it’s therapeutic, he needs that time . . . we all do! Let him have it!
Cook – ladies, it’s effortless to get a man . . . it’s keeping one that’s a challenge. Aaaand you won’t keep him if you can’t cook! As archaic as it sounds, it’s still necessary. If you can’t cook, learn. If you don’t like to cook, learn to love it! If you’re still learning, garnish the hell out of a simple dish! Ask him to make a menu of his favorite meals, make them your own and prepare them with love. “Through his stomach” is a real route if you’re trying to get to his heart.
Show Love – acknowledge his efforts and the things he does. A lot of women think, “why should I have to applaud him for doing the things he’s supposed to do.” Well, you don’t have to — just like he didn’t have to change the oil in your car, hook up your TV or fix the dishwasher. A simple “thank you, baby” or “what would I do without you?” or “I appreciate you, honey” goes a long way and reminds him of why he’s does what he does for you. If you want to take it a step further, give him a shoulder massage for his hard (or not so hard) work and sometimes a good, long, tight hug is just enough.
Take Initiative – if you see your man is slipping, help the man out! If his laundry is stacked to the ceiling, sort it for him — that might be all he needs to spark the desire to wash his clothes. If you see he’s eating from the clean dishes in his sink or dishwasher, put them away. If he’s been talking about revamping resume and has yet to do so, tell him to shoot it your way and trick it out. Be his number one cheerleader and you won’t lose . . . nor will he!
So, even for the fellas, it’s the little things that mean so much! And, as quiet as it’s kept, they’re creatures of emotion also. Even though we express them differently, we all want the same things so, keep it simple and warm!
What are your thoughts, Bossip readers? Please leave them below!
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