Get A Clue: Guy Doesn’t Mention The Future, He’s Not Into You

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Love and Relationships, Madame Noire, Madame Noire

Kanye West tonguing down Amber Rose

We’ve all heard this story: guy dates girl longer than Methuselah’s teeth. After trying out to be a wife–you know the drill– cooking, washing his crusty draws, even having one or a set of his babies, and wishing every Christmas or Valentine’s Day that he pops the question, the two break up.

Then, he’s seeing someone else in 2.5 seconds flat and marries her and sends you a postcard from Hawaii.

Read on at


  • RedBoi

    I agree if dude doesn’t share his goals and aspirations with you clearly he doesn’t think you will be a part of it

  • TastesMinty2010

    Seriously that is a disgusting picture.

  • jojo

    ummm,No.How about if he doesn’t mention the future,he might be unambitious,& is not even thinking of it.Therefore its the woman who should run from it!

  • fyre

    if u are dumb enough to entertain a relationship where he isn’t doing anything for u and u are deep-throating it every time u see him, u deserve to be dumped. gain some of self esteem.

    • Hottestchickinthegame

      I agree! Stop falling for every man that shows you a little attention of any kind and develope a fine tuned sense of discretion for God’s sake! Learn from your mistakes, don’t keep repeating them and wonder why it never works!

  • fyre

    if the guy isn’t doing anything for u and u are deep-throating it every time u see him, u deserve to be dumped. gain some self-esteem. when u don’t love yourself, EXPECT as man to use u.

  • MissB

    This is very true. You have to pay attention to what they say AND do. If the 2 don’t add up then its time to exit stage left.

  • MS.CHi CiTY

    what if you ask him…if he wants to be in ur future or do u want to be my future? does that mean the same thing as he wants to be with u? HELP ME!!!! LOL

    • chaka1

      You are right on the money. I just got married for the first time to a wonderful man. I believe it happened because I slowly made him a part of my life without pressuring him. He was dating other women when I met him, so I knew I had to do more than just offer great sex. We started with simple things like painting my kitchen. Before long he was coming over to my house and my office to help me with various projects a few times a week. Things flowed naturally.

    • such and such

      Exactly they only gonna be trapped with who they wanna be trapped with, so don’t ask for sh**.

    • Bri

      No, don’t ask any guy you’re dating about the future. As a matter of fact, don’t mention marriage, commitment, babies, rings, weddings or any of the like. Why? That’s the quickest way to make a man run from you. When all you do is “talk about the future” he thinks you’re like every other girl out there who is looking to “trap” a man and fulfill her “marriage fantasy,” and men don’t want to be trapped. So let him bring up the “future talk” all on his own. All you need to do is observe his behavior and get to know him as best as you can. If he keeps coming around, treats you well, and actually spends quality time with you then that’s a good sign. Just continue living your own life. Living your life shows him he is not your be all end all. Remember: you had a life before him and will have one after him, if it gets to that point. So don’t become some needy little girl. Be equally parts available and aloof–that’s keeps the relationship mysterious and keeps him coming back again and again. He will then ask himself, “Why hasn’t she brought up commitment, marriage, the future, etc. like every other chick I’ve dated? Wow, she’s different,” and men really like different. Before you know it he’ll be initiating all of the “future talk” with you. I believe most men want a loving relationship that eventually leads to marriage just as women do… It may just take them a little more time to get there b/c they want to make sure you truly love them for them not only for what they can provide. Instead of talking about your relationship all the time just live it and have fun. Girl, make him chase you until you catch him.

    • Hottestchickinthegame

      What was his answer?

  • Africanking

    Bri, I actually disagree. Girls who think about their future to me are the keepers. It’s easy to go out bang girls now days but there are some girls who have self respect and want to build their future before opening their legs to a man who might have other options. But again, I am not an African American. So my culture is different from their culture. I know some girls are lose n easy. I guess it’s the reason why we have too many single moms with too many kids within Americans. Sad if you ask me :)

    • Sysy

      @AfricanKing- I’m of caribbean descent and I was born in the US… I was dating an African guy and I must attest, they know good women when they see them! They go for women with futures. African men are also INTO marriage! Shocker. American men run from it, while every other kind of guy looks to it with joy and excitement. Something is wrong with American marriages that makes people stay “dating” forever.

  • Sysy

    @Bri- yup. don’t change a thang girl! change is what makes divorces seem like a godsend.

  • d.

    That really doesn’t mean anything, some men don’t open up until they feel a certain connection or bond with a female and even then he might be reluctant to not tell her everything that is on his mind, men are different than women when it comes to that kind of thang.

    • Bri

      You’re right… men are different from women esp. in the way we think. But a man won’t let his guard down or allow himself to have a connection/bond with a woman if she’s acting like some crazed lunatic constantly having talks with him about “the future” and pressuring him to get married. Men don’t respect or trust women who behave like that. He’ll keep his guard up b/c he’ll feel she’s like every other woman who just wants a ring/wedding with any loser she can manipulate into one. Point being, a man wants to be ginuinely cared for and loved for who he is (just as women do).

      If a woman is dating a QUALITY man and she’s keeps her independence and doesn’t act like marriage is owed to her that man will eventually open up and let his guard down b/c he knows he can trust her. Respect and trust go hand-in-hand with a man–if he doesn’t respect you he won’t trust you, and if he doesn’t trust you you’ll lose (or never gain) his respect. Just my opinion.

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  • 1king

    People need to try being a real friend first. Be my friend tell me when Im doin great tell when I’m messin up love me like you love urself . Help me if i need it so i can help you when you need it . We take care of each other. Then your on your way to marriage. Because that is a partnership not just a title.

  • can u say Chi City?

    um no…How about, take your time! Date a little, have fun alot! Stop expecting every man to be your husband or love of your life. Thats stupid to even consider that if every guy does not have a whole hearted commitment to you, you are wasting your time. not true!!! have fun! enjoy life and that special someone while be there when they need to be. Geez! people..stop putting pressure on everything!! Unless u r over 40 and seriusly desperate that is….

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