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Publishing powerhouse Simon & Schuster is paying Jersey Shore’s resident oompa loompa to write a book. Not about her life. A work of fiction.

Mind you, this girl has admitted she’s only ever read two books: Twilight and Dear John. And since both of those are movies too, we’re not sure how much we’re willing to believe she read those.

Snooki’s book is due out in January and is currently titled, what else: A Shore Thing.

Gallery Books announced Wednesday that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, the “Jersey Shore” reality TV star, has a novel called “Shore Thing” scheduled to come out in January. The publisher said the novel will tell of love on the boardwalk, complete with “big hair, dark tans, and fights galore.”

Snooki said in a statement that she has been working on the book for some time. But, no, she’s not writing alone. Gallery, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said she has a collaborator.

Phew. ‘Cause we know collaborator really means someone turned Snooki’s mediocre idea into something that may be worth reading.

Still, we blame Superhead.

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