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Good day, Bossip readers! Happy Thursday to you all! Today, the topic of discussion is one that many of us can relate to — crossing the boundaries of friendship and giving into curious, sexual temptation. Being that the lapse of judgment, whether it be once, twice or many times, it’s with a “friend,” so you always have that friendship to fall back on should the romance fizzle or if one of you moves on, right? But the reality of the situation is, it’s never the clean break that’s pictured once the romance jumps off. Why? It’s simple, because things get too complicated! Someone catches feelings but because the lines of communication are now fuzzy, honesty is out the window. Since we’ve touched on communication, that gets sketchy also because it’s difficult to decipher if it’s okay to call or text after the boundary has been crossed. Everything gets foggy and blurry to a point where someone gets exhausted and taps out — forever making the friendship awkward, if it can be salvaged at all. Then, there’s the friends with benefits situation where you both get comfortable with each other, your “benefits” package has been going years strong and then you have an assumed, unspoken commitment — but not really! Because if one should move on you can’t get mad because you’re “just friends!” In rare cases, theses situations turn into beautiful fulfilling relationships but is romance or sexual fulfillment worth the risk of losing a friend or worse . . . wasting your time? We asked a few of our Bossip readers and this is what they had to say!

I’ve definitely been there! I was in love with a man and we were really close friends for years. One night we were out drinking and he said he wanted to kiss me and we did, it was great and we left it at that. It got a little weird but we talked about it and he said he wanted to kiss me again and I felt the same way but we resisted for a long time, like, months. He came over one afternoon and threw me up against the wall and we had the best sex I had ever had in my life! And we did this for about two years but I wanted more and he wasn’t interested in committing. So, I was the one who got fawked in the end, you know? But I can’t be mad at him because I already knew what it was. I’ll never do that again but we’re still cool. We definitely aren’t as close as we were but if I needed him for anything I could call him and he’d be there and vice versa. No lie, if he called me today and said he wanted to give us a chance I would be down. – Marcia, 31

No! Absolutely not! Men can do it but women cannot. Women hear what they want to hear. If you tell a woman, who’s a friend, “yo, I’m not trying to be in a relationship,” she heard you but she has a different agenda. She’s thinking, ‘that’s what he says but he’s going to want more if I do this, that and the third.” If you start having sex with said woman, I promise she will not be able to maintain a friendly position. She’ll start calling all crazy and talking relationships like ‘but I thought me and you had a connection and you said this and that. I thought I was different.’ Why? I told you what it is and now you’re acting surprised? Why? Like I said, women can’t do it but men can. – Pierce, 29

I think it’s cool if you keep it in perspective and not draw it out for years at a time. If you’re still “friends with benefits” after 10 years, then you’re stupid. You cannot waste that much time with someone and not reap the benefits of a commitment or marriage! I know a few people who have been messing around with a man for years waiting on him to come around and realize “what he’s got,” but why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk in all three flavors? If you have a friend with benefits then it should be that person that’s out of town or something. You see them from time to time, do your thing and you leave. No questions asked, no strings attached. That’s how it should work in my eyes, anything more is just asking for trouble! – Shayla, 30

No. It never works. See, friends with benefits are like milk. Do you get it? Seriously, friends with benefits are like milk. Do me a favor and answer this question: would you buy spoiled milk? Why would you do that? Makes no sense, right? Exactly! Friends with benefits have a shelf life. After a certain amount of time, it’s just no good! It’s rotten and something you shouldn’t consume because you’ll get sick — it’s unhealthy, right? It’s common sense! If you can apply that logic to something as simple as a glass or a gallon of milk, then why is it different for something like this? ISHT gets complicated because . . . we complicate sh*t. So, keep it simple, stupid, and don’t do it! – Mecca, 31

What are your thoughts, Bossip Readers? Please share them below!

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