Dear Bossip I have a problem that I can’t share with anyone close to me. My best friend and I grew up together and since the day we met when we were 11 we were inseparable. We did and still do everything together. We went to the same college and we were roommates after we graduated for a couple years. She ended up moving out with her fiance and I bought a house and focused on my career. Since then we definitely don’t spend as much time together as we used to and because our lives took different turns. She’s had 3 babies in the last few years and I am the oldest two (twins) Godmother. We still live fairly close to each other and her husband and I became close over the time they dated up until now, I think he’s a good looking man and I always thought he was attractive. Lately, he’s been complaining about her not taking care of herself, not losing the bay weight and always looking shabby but he works out all the time and complained to me about her not going to the gym and changing over the duration of their marriage. A few weeks ago I babysat and she forgot to take some the clothes she bought to my house so she sent her husband to come get them. It was late and I had been drinking and when he came in I offered him and drink which led to about 3 drinks and we ended up having sex. She called me right before he left and said that she was so happy that me and her husband are friends and that we get a long so well and that she could trust me with him. I’ve betrayed my best friend and Godchildren in the worse way possible and I can’t live with myself I’m so shamed of my actions and giving into my impulses. I haven’t been able to talk to her like we normally do and I don’t know what to do……I made a HUGE mistake. Bossip please tell me what should I do?
Good day to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. Boy, you sure did make a “huge mistake!” See what happens when you get a little liquor in your system and, in your case, the both of your systems? That’s all bad, sis! Without saying it, it sounds like the two of you have always been physically curious about each other and the perfect opportunity to take advantage of such desires presented itself perfectly … and the two of you threw caution to the wind! As the old saying goes, though, “it takes two to tango” and you guys did the forbidden dance but one must wonder if your best friend’s husband is feeling the same kind of guilt and remorse. Then you have to wonder if it’ll plague him enough to tell her before you do if you should decide to disclose or conceal your indiscretions.
What should you do, you ask? Well, knowing full well that the truth will always come to light, face the music and deal with the consequences of your actions. You can try and keep it a secret but you never know what he might say in the throws of an argument to be mean and spiteful. It’s a gamble, right? You and your best friend were tight long before her husband came around, so who do you think she wold prefer to hear it from first? Either way, she’s going to be hurt, feel betrayed and she may never trust you or her husband again but, again, those are the repercussions of your actions so be ready to deal with the worst of outcomes — like her never wanting to speak to you again but continuing to work on her marriage with the equally responsible party. Then you’ll have lost your best friend and for what? A quick curiosity fix?
Realize you and her husband have jeopardized the stability of their marriage and family in one night! One night. And, clearly, you know now that it wasn’t worth it! That goes without saying. However, in this case, it wouldn’t be wise to try and keep this a secret because it’s going to hit the fan eventually. Regardless of if it takes weeks, months or years to surface, the reaction and the results will either remain the same … or they could potentially be worse. So, pick your timing wisely and tell her what happened. You can’t cower now, the damage is done and you should continue to try and be as good a friend as you can be. Do the right thing, sis. Do the right thing and good, good luck to you. Damn.
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