Dear Bossip: I Slept With My Best Friend’s Husband

- By Bossip Staff

Dear Bossip I have a problem that I can’t share with anyone close to me. My best friend and I grew up together and since the day we met when we were 11 we were inseparable. We did and still do everything together. We went to the same college and we were roommates after we graduated for a couple years. She ended up moving out with her fiance and I bought a house and focused on my career. Since then we definitely don’t spend as much time together as we used to and because our lives took different turns. She’s had 3 babies in the last few years and I am the oldest two (twins) Godmother. We still live fairly close to each other and her husband and I became close over the time they dated up until now, I think he’s a good looking man and I always thought he was attractive. Lately, he’s been complaining about her not taking care of herself, not losing the bay weight and always looking shabby but he works out all the time and complained to me about her not going to the gym and changing over the duration of their marriage. A few weeks ago I babysat and she forgot to take some the clothes she bought to my house so she sent her husband to come get them. It was late and I had been drinking and when he came in I offered him and drink which led to about 3 drinks and we ended up having sex. She called me right before he left and said that she was so happy that me and her husband are friends and that we get a long so well and that she could trust me with him. I’ve betrayed my best friend and Godchildren in the worse way possible and I can’t live with myself I’m so shamed of my actions and giving into my impulses. I haven’t been able to talk to her like we normally do and I don’t know what to do……I made a HUGE mistake. Bossip please tell me what should I do?

Good day to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. Boy, you sure did make a “huge mistake!” See what happens when you get a little liquor in your system and, in your case, the both of your systems? That’s all bad, sis! Without saying it, it sounds like the two of you have always been physically curious about each other and the perfect opportunity to take advantage of such desires presented itself perfectly … and the two of you threw caution to the wind! As the old saying goes, though, “it takes two to tango” and you guys did the forbidden dance but one must wonder if your best friend’s husband is feeling the same kind of guilt and remorse. Then you have to wonder if it’ll plague him enough to tell her before you do if you should decide to disclose or conceal your indiscretions.

What should you do, you ask? Well, knowing full well that the truth will always come to light, face the music and deal with the consequences of your actions. You can try and keep it a secret but you never know what he might say in the throws of an argument to be mean and spiteful. It’s a gamble, right? You and your best friend were tight long before her husband came around, so who do you think she wold prefer to hear it from first? Either way, she’s going to be hurt, feel betrayed and she may never trust you or her husband again but, again, those are the repercussions of your actions so be ready to deal with the worst of outcomes — like her never wanting to speak to you again but continuing to work on her marriage with the equally responsible party. Then you’ll have lost your best friend and for what? A quick curiosity fix?

Realize you and her husband have jeopardized the stability of their marriage and family in one night! One night. And, clearly, you know now that it wasn’t worth it! That goes without saying. However, in this case, it wouldn’t be wise to try and keep this a secret because it’s going to hit the fan eventually. Regardless of if it takes weeks, months or years to surface, the reaction and the results will either remain the same … or they could potentially be worse. So, pick your timing wisely and tell her what happened. You can’t cower now, the damage is done and you should continue to try and be as good a friend as you can be. Do the right thing, sis. Do the right thing and good, good luck to you. Damn.

What are your thoughts Bossip Readers? Please share them below!

Please remember to e-mail all your topic suggestions, feedback and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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Comments

  • H formerly known as...

    WELL I GUESS YOU TWO AREN’T BEST FRIENDS ANYMORE… SISTAS ARE ALWAYS MESSIN UP, GET IT TOGETHER!

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      LMAO.

    • bklynista718

      it aint even about sistas..its everyone..this sh*t happens in the hispanic community too…when my hubby was becoming to friendly wit his friends i didn’t shy away n say “oh i dont want him to think im jealous..i want him to know i trust him”..f*ck that..if u know u can’t trust urself the minute u look at boris kodjoe then u can’t trust him..a man and a woman cannot be trusted together.if she aint family by blood then u always have to be uncomfortable…plus she was single..is there reason for her to wanna get closer to him? yes there is..ladies always be on alert..always..these heffa’s will stop at nothing to get ur man..

    • White Mike

      Honkies do too, let’s be fair!

    • no_halfsteppen

      White foke do that way more than any other culture. They marry their best friend’s wife, their borther’s wife, or sisters husband, their friend’s highschool boyfriend or girlfriend. They do it all the time and joke about it.

  • MrTooReal

    Why is she putting our business out in the street. She knows that my wife reads this and will put two and two together!

    • 1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals!!

      LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      You need to put a leash on your trick azz hoe!

      Lol!!!!

    • 1TruDiva w/the PlatinumVocals!!

      ….Or a muzzle!

      ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Marsonis

      Its cool brotha but if she was real good screw your sloppy wife and dem kids and go get some more of her

  • shut the fu*ck up

    hannibal did a sister do you dirty is that why you always tear us down?? don’t you think its time to get over it can’t no white woman rock ur world like a sista

    • H formerly known as...

      I’M SORRY I ALWAYS ATTACK THE SISTAS ALL THE TIME, BUT, NEVERMIND…

    • shut the fu*ck up

      why all the time… da*mn I need to whip that azz back to submission

    • H formerly known as...

      I DON’T ALWAYS ATTACK THE SISTAS, JUST SOMETIMES! I KNOW YOU THINK I’M BASHING YOU ALL THE TIME, BUT I JUST CALL IT TOUGH LOVE…

    • shut the fu*ck up

      you really sound frustrated like you don’t get any??/

    • shut the fu*ck up

      shut the fu*ck up goes over to little hannibal and grabs him by the hands and gently pulls hm out of the closet…there
      dam*n he’s ugly

    • Hannibal

      LMFAO! I’M NOT GAY OR UGLY!

    • shut the fu*ck up

      then why do you have on a purple gown and a silver mohawk singing I am woman hear me roar

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      I agree. Hannibal’s not gay.

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      Hannibal, your hero’s Hellen Reddy? Say it isn’t so.

    • shut the fu*ck up

      he use to sit on bishop dirty long leggs lap and type letters but bishop dirty long leggs never took him on those trips that’s why he’s mad

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      It’s too soon to work Bishop Eddie Long into a joke. Anyway you look at that situation right there, it is JACKED.

    • shut the fu*ck up

      awwwwwww man tell me you did’nt go on a road trip with dirty leggs long…dam*n son
      you toooooooo

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      Nevah that. But Brotha Man is foul for diddlin’ them boys like that.

  • BayAreaChick

    He might have already already been setting the foundation to cheat, but it DID NOT need to be with her best friend. The “friend” in this situation bares a huge responsibility to own up and tell the truth about what happened. Friends, there is really no such thing anymore.

  • Jknight4Jafra

    Who’s pic is that in the article? … And I wonder if she reads gossip too?? Maybe she knows that & this is her way of telling.

    Oh & she’s a dumb for throwing away that friendship, probably the best friend she’ll ever have.

  • leah

    That is some ho-ish behaviour right there. If my ‘Friend’ ever did that sh!t to me i would pepper her punani and castrate him

    • who really cares?

      lmao @ “pepper her punani”

  • Baldeagle

    This is normal, women& men creep with there spouses friends all the time. The only thing is they are not upfront about it. It’s about the excitement and the idea of sneaking that gets people wanting more. She’ll do it again…

    • black_barbie702

      thats reality………

    • ThickLikeCornbread

      Yes, ppl do get a BUZZ off of cheating. It is the immorality, the suspense that ppl get hooked on.

      But i do NOT think it is “normal”

      I think that it is becoming LESS RARE.

      She NEVER needs to allow this to happen again. But, I think he will come back for 2nd’s

  • jANE

    This man sounds completely worthless. So why you would want him, I don’t know. If he is the type of man that would cheat with you he will cheat on you. This is so common among sistas, though. Black women are so hard up for a man that they will take anything even their best friend’s sorry excuse for one. He was wrong and so are you. We have to be there for each other cause black men are not. Just dirty.

  • God's Child

    Tell the truth and deal with the consequences.

    • the truth is.....

      co-sign

  • Luscious

    I thought only white folks did this kind of mess.
    No excuse: for her trifling, betraying behind and definitely none for him.
    Some lines you don’t cross and this is one of them.

  • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

    Are ‘greasy waves’ back in style?

    • shut the fu*ck up

      he*ll yeah whoa i likes that

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      I tried to get with that trend the first go-round. My scalp was always raw and tender like a mofo. Never again.

    • shut the fu*ck up

      lookls like you got a little bit of hair but that was then what bout now???? raw=bald i’m just saying

    • AHHHHSHADDAAAAP!!!!

      God blessed me with naturally curly hair. I ain’t gotta rake the bejeezus outta my head to get with no fashion trend. My a s s look GOOD as is, baby gurl.

  • msbliss

    I say accept the fact the two of you are no longer friends & confess. What is the purpose of holding on to a tarnished friendship & having to always have that secret in the back of your head? Not all friendships are meant to stand the test of time & this too shall past. Learn from this, forgive yourself & apologize to her from the bottom of your heart. It was you AND him that did wrong so go a lil easy on yourself & and remember its life.

  • ashley

    ALWAYS YALL DIRTY CHICKS THAT EVERYONE SLEPT WITH AND HAS KIDS BY MAY MEN. WHO WANTS TO SCREW UP SOMEONE ELSES HAPPINESSS. IF I WERE YOUR FRIEND I WOULD BEAT THE BREAKS OFF YOU. AND THROW PISS AND BLEACH ON MY EX–HUSBAND

  • Hannibal

    HELLEN REDDY, LMAO! AND THE RUMORS ARE NOT TRUE, I AM NOT GAY!

  • shut the fu*ck up

    you never type letters for bishop dirty leggs long??

    • Hannibal

      LOL, NOPE!

    • shut the fu*ck up

      you never bent over looking for soap???

    • Hannibal

      LMAO, HELL NO!

    • shut the fu*ck up

      welll he*llllllllll
      now you did’nt type letters, you didn’t bend over for soap why your knees all scarred the fu*ck up son???

    • Hannibal

      HOW DID YOU KNOW MY KNEES WERE SCARRED UP… THEY ARE SCARRED BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL, THAT’S ALL…

    • shut the fu*ck up

      LIAR ONE KNEE GOT THE NAME EDDIE ON IT AND OTHER KNEE IS GOT LONG CARVED ONTO IT
      tell em man
      stop lying
      the truth will set you free

    • Hannibal

      LMFAO!!!! I’M NOT GAY, PLEASE BELIEVE ME!

    • Hannibal

      I HAVE ON LIGHT RED HANES UNDERWEAR, DAMMIT!

    • shut the fu*ck up

      do they have a dark line going up the back side….ooops
      my bad

    • Hannibal

      PLEASE STOP PICKING ON ME, I’M NOT GAY!

    • shut the fu*ck up

      today is my B-day and I have never laughed so hard thanks for the fun hannibal

    • Hannibal

      WELL HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I’M GLAD I COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH!

  • daisy jay

    Am I the only one that thought that was Mary J in the picture?
    You stole your best friend’s man? You’re sick. Point blank. You obviously don’t have a conscience. That’s like…the ultimate dealbreaker. You chose to STEAL somebody’s man instead of finding your own? I don’t care about the scenario, the point is you betrayed your best friend’s trust. You’re lucky you’re still alive because if you were MY friend, I’d be in prison and you’d probably be 6 feet under. Your friend is gonna find out. The truth will unveil itself sooner than you think. Prepare for royal karma.
    Oh, I almost forgot about the man. He’s just as disgusting. Destroying a close friendship between two women? Being a greedy snake by sleeping with your wife’s BEST FRIEND? He didn’t have the balls to tell his wife about a problem he had? He just chose to..cheat?! They’re both in for a rude awakening.
    Congrats, both of you are low down, dirty, sick, betraying, untrustworthy, selfish skanks.

  • Live Life in Regret of Nothing

    In the words of spoken word artist Talaam Acey

    “when will you people learn
    that “faithful” “man” is damn near a contradiction in terms..”

  • shut the fu*ck up

    everyone is getting on the friend but the husband is wrong from the door
    1. never go to another female to air your problems unless its ur mother
    2. never trust a man around another female
    3. keep that di*ck in check and no other puzzy will ever touch it

  • Real Issh

    She is soooo wrong . Your not loyal ,, & I understand that he was the one in the relationship .. But thats your bestfriend . I’m toooo loyal to my bff . I would just tell her than move to Darfur .. Lls .

  • who really cares?

    lol…ol gurl is a foo wit it..got u in yo sleep!

  • Allie

    I love how somebody who is either mentioned in the letter, or wrote the letter themselves comes on these posts and comments to make is seem legitimate but when you go to another post theyre nowhere to be found

  • shut the fu*ck up

    you were just dreaming it was the pet dog…next time cover up

  • Greeneyedbandit

    If u my best friend,and u f**k my husband or my man,our friendship is over,For good.And aint nothin u can say or do thats gone make it right!

  • Y'all Be Trippin'

    I don’t care if one of my friends husbands came at me with his man-meat swinging in the wind and promising me a winning lottery ticket – a REAL FRIEND NEVER crosses this line – EVER!!!!

    Just go to your “friend” tell her that you cannot be friends anymore because you crossed a line with her husband – deal with the fallout – she may not even believe you ’cause you know that fool aint going to cop to it – then leave her the hell alone for life.

    And just wait – KARMA is gonna bite you later….

  • Shananigans

    KARMA!!!! trust and she will find out!

    • andrea

      I had a kinda similar thing happen to me my best friend, called her my sister, slept with a boyfriend not a husband of mine! and she told me, i forgave her bc he was just a boyfriend come to find out a year later she was all over a new boyfriend while i wasnt around!

      karma, regret, and guilt- 3 against 1

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