It’s been a year since Shaunie O’Neal took Shaq for as much as her pre-nup would allow. She’s been busy with VH1 as the executive producer to “Basketball Wives” and “Football Wives”. After 10 years of dedicating her life to being a loving mother and “faithful” wife… Shaunie’s main focus is taking care of her kids, the cougar meat and creating a legacy. In a recent article written by Shaunie, she lays out the divorce survival guide for all the women who think life is over after divorce…
You probably think I’m going to tell you all my business, but I’m not. But what I will share is how I was able to find life after divorce.
As you may know, I was married to a very well-known NBA player, whose whole world I became totally engrossed in, and somehow, along the way, I lost myself. Don’t get me wrong. I was more than happy being a supportive wife and mother, but there was a part of me that was itching to create my own identity and leave a legacy for my children.
Sometimes, as wives and mothers, we become so good at taking care of other people that we forget how to take care of ourselves. Five children and 10 years later, I was faced with the painful truth that my marriage was over, and I had to take a long, hard look in the mirror and make a decision. Would I wallow in self-pity and let the ordeal overtake me or would I find the strength to keep going and get back into the game of life? I chose the latter, and my plan was simple…
Looking back, almost a year later, it amazes me how much my life has changed and how my determination to keep moving forward, for myself and my children, has yielded an endless amount of opportunities— opportunities that I quite honestly may not have had the courage to say yes to before. My mother always told me, “God would never put more on you than you can bear,” and that is so true. Through this whole process I’ve found strength I never knew I had, and I realized my true potential and self-worth…
And so here I am, closing a very long chapter in my life and starting a new and exciting one. I’m proud to say that season two of Basketball Wives will now be an hour long and will be back on VH1 December 12, and Football Wives, for which I’m also executive producer, has gotten off to a great start. And I’m writing a book (not a tell-all; I’m still keeping my business to myself) to encourage other women with children that there is life after divorce.
There are so many things I want to do in this new [phase of my life], including finding love again. I’m dating someone special and have found it to be extremely helpful in the rebuilding process. The worst thing I could do is believe that because I’m divorced I’m not desirable or because I’m divorced I’ll never find love again. And while I’m not quite ready to be married again, I’m ready for whatever life brings my way, and I know I can handle it.
SHAUNIE’S POST-DIVORCE PLAN
1. Surround yourself with people you trust and who will be a great support system for you and your children.
2. Figure out what you are passionate about and start working toward it every day.
3. Pray as much as possible to help eliminate any negative thoughts of regret, doubt, and fear.
4. Set aside “me” time that includes exercising and doing fun activities with friends to help you find yourself again.
5. Keep things as amicable as possible with your children’s other parent to minimize the impact on them. We are the ones going through a divorce—notthem—so don’t put them in the middle.