‘The Relationship Beast’ Part 2: ‘I didn’t apply the same principles to my personal relationships as I did my professional ones’

- By Bossip Staff Categories: A "Lil Positivity", Love and Relationships, News

Good day, Bossip fam! As promised, we are re-introducing you to Steven James Dixon, author of the book, “Men Don’t Heal We Ho,” a Book About the Emotional Instability of Men. After receiving and reading the book, we had to talk to him as we learned he had scripted his experiences with women and marriage and sent it to the press. With chapters that will resonate in the depths of your psyche, Dixon leaves no room for question in this in-depth chronicle of his personal struggles with being a husband after unapologetically “ho”ing. His message is true and the best part, perhaps, is his willingness to share his thoughts and emotions with raw honesty. We had the chance to explore Dixon’s thought process and it’s reminiscent of long chats with an older brother who will never steer you in the wrong direction. No questions go unanswered without brutal candor that cannot be argued – it’s no wonder people would seek the ‘Relationship Beast’s’ opinion. It’s foolproof and simple enough to apply to your love life. Many topics are worthy of discussion, so, please take a look and share your thoughts below! To read the first part of our interview with Mr. Dixon, click here!

Bossip: To pick up where we left off there’s an excerpt from your book that we’d like for you to explain.

“They have put themselves in a competition they can’t win because I don’t want any of them to win! I hate of them. All of them will lose, because I lost.” –Men Don’t Heal, We Ho

Dixon: Right.

Bossip:You said that, at a certain point in your life, you were angry and at women. Can you explain your sentiment, please?

Dixon: All women, I felt, were hoes. Those feelings derived from my disappointment, my frustration and my emotional instability. I just felt like all women were no good, they were out to get me and I had to get them first … that was really based on me being hurt. I was in a place where I said, “I can’t let them hurt me again, so, I’ll never open my self up to be hurt again and whatever I do to them is whatever.”

Bossip: It seems like a lot of men who are hurt by that one woman are scarred! Do you think this attributes to the lack of aspiration to get married or be settled in a sturdy relationship? Seems like dating is a forever game now …

Dixon: Dating is ruining a lot of our relationships and marriages. When we’re dating, we don’t build. I’ll explain. When we’re dating and we get upset, we leave. So when we’re married and we get upset, we can’t leave. When you’re married and can’t leave what happens? Folks go complaining to their single friends saying, “hey, don’t get married. It’s too much. Stay single forever.” But, marriage isn’t the problem, it’s an institution created by God. The problem is, we don’t develop problem solving skills and so people are stuck in unhappy marriages. I teach people how to solve their problems! And so I tell people, “come on, you have a problem and you can fix it.”

Bossip: Okay, so dating is the problem? You do have to date in order to secure a marriage, so what do you suggest as a healthy method to choosing a partner for marriage?

Dixon: Well, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t date, I’m saying dating shouldn’t have the negative affect that it has on marriage that it does today. Our priorities have shifted which is good and bad. For example, we’re running around trying to be the best doctor, the best lawyer, the best rapper and have no inclination to want to be the best husband. That is not the goal for so many men … and women. How many people have you heard say, “I’m good at everything I do except for marriage or being a good boyfriend or girlfriend.” That was me! That was my way of thinking and I had to change that!

Bossip: Well, love and relationships are just as simple as they are complex, right? So, was it an easy turnaround for you?

Dixon: The reason why I was good at everything else except for marriage is because I didn’t apply the same principles or pour the same energy into my personal relationships as I did my professional ones. Like, you for example, you’ll stay up until four in the morning to research or write an article but would you stay up until four in the morning trying to figure out how to be a better wife? Too often, in marriages, I run into people who are treating their spouse as good as they feel they deserve on that day. What, because you’re mad at your spouse, you’re not going to cook dinner? That’s not okay. If you’re committed to being the best husband or wife, your spouse shouldn’t have to earn good treatment.

Bossip: This is true! Do you get these sort of complaints from men mostly? Or women too?

Dixon: Women, easily. I think it’s because they’re more frustrated. Men only come around and want to talk when they’re really trying to save their relationship or marriage. And I always refer back to my principle, a relationship is successful or fails based upon the leadership of the man. If you are a good leader and if you are a good husband, she will be a good wife! Men don’t like it when I say that and they get mad but I tell them, “you go be a good husband and watch what happens.”

Bossip: Have you had any testimonials from men, so far?

Dixon: Men have always came back to me and said that they agreed one-hundred percent but the problem was getting their woman on board because, sometimes, they have done so much wrong. So, then it goes back to the woman – when you say you’re going to marry a man you’re saying that you’re willing to forgive him for the mistakes he’s made. I tell women all the time, “hey, if this guy is coming to you, apologized and wants to get help and you believe that he’s going to put forth an effort, then you’re committing to trying.”


  • Hannibal

    “All women, I felt, were hoes.”


    • DR.FUNK



    • G.M.

      he11 yeah, women swear us men haven’t alreay figured out that they love to s1ut it up with the bad boys/ballers in their 20’s and as they close in on their 30’s they start looking for mr.nice and dependable cuz the bad boys/ballers are done with em and givin all attention to the new batch of 20yr olds and need a naive gullible poindexter to care for her bastard child the bad boy left her with or her clocks tickin and her moms puttin that marriage pressure on her or needs guy willing to marry her with all those miles on her…lol

  • that damn sh#$ disturber

    he’s good. two things i found interesting were his feelings on why he thought women were hoes before he grew up and MATURED. and the one about why men are not connected to their offspring as fast as women. all the typical male responses should be popping up soon.

  • http://static2.hypem.net/thumbs/2/1089002.png YokoDMV

    yoko says: this advice is BASIC – womp womp.

  • http://na Tracie love

    Deep. I lost those 3 years I am that women. So hard . Let go and let God

  • http://youtube.com/watch?v=Scr45_TaquQ Slide Like a Fresh Pair of Gators

    apply the same principles or pour the same energy into my personal relationships as I did my professional ones. Like, you for example, you’ll stay up until four in the morning to research or write an article but would you stay up until four in the morning trying to figure out how to be a better wife?

    Our priorities have shifted which is good and bad. For example, we’re running around trying to be the best doctor, the best lawyer, the best rapper and have no inclination to want to be the best husband. That is not the goal for so many men … and women.

    Yep, I agree!!!!!!!

    And I respect this line of thinking…

    Just gotta find the other half that is trying to do the same, society has changed & people are on some bullsh*t out here and are out for self = on that take, take, take and leave little to nothing in return…

    LOL, truth be told I’m not really looking though…

  • yeah yeah

    i like how one man can speak for our entire population, its all about how you treat people, and you don’t need no corny book to know that… if you wanna be treated right then treat others right…men and women have issues but if we don’t treat each other with respect then of course things won’t work out…just because you’re a good leader doesn’t mean your wife is going to follow you, if she has issues with herself she won’t ever treat you how she should..

  • Ms.Jackson

    I’ve been following Mr.Dixon for quite sometime now. I like his articles he doesn’t try to play it up and yes I have the book and yes its a good guide to follow. Especially when he said that when women are emotionally unstable they don’t have sex. That’s so true.

    • G.M.

      us men know that too and once u say no we go fucc the chick that says yes

  • juliemango

    I agree with the mans theory and points made the hard part is pairing men who want to lead and women who want to follow!!!

  • libpatriot

    What does the title of the book mean? We don’t heal, we ho? So much for getting rid of negative stereotypes of black men.

  • QueenZake

    Powerful words of wisdom here!! It is true that women seem to have a harder time moving on compared to men. We always want to fight for something that s dead because “we love him”!Women definitely need 2 say “I’m doing me” more and actually mean it (I’m guilty of this myself) Wise man right here (can’t wait 2 read your views on why women chase men that don’t want them)

  • Tradina

    I love the fact that Mr. Dixon is willing to step up to the plate as leader of the home and take responsibility for the success/failure of his marriage. That right there makes a man desirable.

    I hate the fact that some women are so desperate that they allow men to treat them like sub par humans. Will we ever wake up?

    Well good article full of wisdom and insight. Keep spreading the message.


    Just another “relationship expert” talking in circles.Not gonna hate however.Hope he sells some books.I won’t be a buyer.

  • NavyLady

    I agree with some of the issues he mentioned, but he does sound like “another relationship expert,” Tyler Perry. Tell me something, I haven’t heard or don’t know. The reason men are like they are because they were born on some type of…. I don’t know :~D …. Everything he says is obvious. “If you knew better, you’d do better…” And it doesn’t cost $15 to know that.

  • BE

    I like listening to a man’s point of view. Listening to other women is like the blind leading the blind.

    • E.C. from D.C.

      co-sign @ DR TIFFANY

    • Dr. Tiffany





  • Dr. Tiffany

    I agree with most of what he said..

    Thank God I grew up with an older brother who taught me how to act and think like a man and still be a lady….

    As a women I can do what men do..No emotional attachments after sex. I can get up and walk away.




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