SMH: The Kardashian PR Machine Is Trying Hard To Make You Care About Kris Humphries’ Boring A**

Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries

We still haven’t gotten the official photo shoot of Kimmie Cakes and her “new man” Kris Humphries. But that doesn’t mean the Kardashian PR Machine isn’t hard at work.

People Magazine just ran a piece about the five things you “need to know” about Kris Humphires. None of them were that interesting.

1. Like Kardashian, He Comes from a Family of Ks
Accompanying Kardashian, 30, her mom Kris Jenner, and her sisters Khloé, Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie, Humphries – who has sisters Krystal and Kaela – says the letter ‘K’ plays an important role is his family, as well. “I think my parents thought that it was cool or trendy at the time,” he tells PEOPLE. “Parents try to distinguish their kids sometimes.”

2. He’s a Man of Many Talents
Before landing a notable NBA career, Humphries was a star swimmer. Still holding records to this day, he was considered the top swimmer in the nation when he was 10, even beating out Michael Phelps. “I was so good at a young age that I got a little burnt out,” Humphries says. “I also grew up in the Michael Jordan era … for me, I watched [basketball] and saw it as a challenge. It’s hard to stay focused on something when you have a ton of success at a young age, so I picked up basketball a little later and rolled with that.”

3. He’s Loves The Office
When Humphries isn’t busy shooting hoops or keeping up with his Kardashian, he’s taking in comedy. Explaining that The Office is his favorite TV show, he says, “I think the way the cast and characters have developed over the years is unbelievably funny … I just love the way the show has come together. I think the older ones are better than the newer ones.”

4. He’s a Closet Poker Fanatic
If Humphries’s pro basketball career ever falls flat, he has a fall-back. “One thing people don’t know about me is that I play a lot of poker,” he says. “Love it. I play a lot of hold ‘em. At some point, I want to play in the World Series. Even if you’re a great player, it’s hard and it’s a lot of luck.”

5. He’s a Good Guy
Heading up the Kris Humphries Foundation, the Minnesota native is all about helping children. “I thought that when I got the platform to have my own foundation and start to make a difference in the community, then I was going to do it,” Humphries says. “The great thing about my foundation is that we partner up with people like the Boys and Girls Club or different organizations around Minnesota just to make every dollar go as far as possible.”

Yaaaaaaaaaawn. We’re sure Kimmie won’t be letting this loser use her cakes for publicity for too long. And to make sure, she and Khloe took it back to the motherland last week… since Kim’s luck with the brothers Stateside hasn’t been that great lately.

Sure, they acted like they were there to promote something other than Kim’s womb. But they can’t fool us with their scripted candids and pics of doing work.

Kim Khloe Kardashian CapeTown South Africa

Flip the page for pics from their working vacay in CapeTown.

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