Dear Bossip: I Hate His Mother!

Bossip I love my man but I hate his mom!! I don’t know what to do about it because I feel like I’m losing the battle. I’ve been with my man for about 6 months and I know we’re going to be together forever but his mom is in the way!!! I realize that we haven’t dated long but we have fallen head over hills in love with each other and she just won’t accept that. We are both grown so she should trust our judgment and not be so negative. I know she feels touched behind our age difference because he’s 7 years older than be but like I said we’re both grown and at 28 I feel like I’m mature enough to make my own decisions that are RIGHT FOR ME!!! When he took me to her birthday party he said she was excited to meet me but when we got there she was very cold and standoffish and I could feel her eyes on me from a mile away and from that point on I knew that she didn’t like me. When we left the party I told her that I’d see her soon and she said we’ll see or something like that I took it to heart and told my man how upset it made me. He said that she’s just really protective over him and that she’ll warm up to me but that has yet to happen!!! When he brought her over his place for a bbq we were having she was making faces at me and so I know exactly what to do to get under her skin so I was rubbing his chest and kissing on him in front of her and she almost lost it and left early lol!! After that she said I was no longer welcome at her house and it’s made my man upset. This isn’t the first time a mans’ mother has been unkind to me lol but she needs to stay in her place and stop being jealous of me and her son because she’s not fu*cking him!!! I’m really starting to hate this lady because she’s trying to drive a wedge between us!! How do I get her out of out life??

Good day to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So, you’re tying to figure out a way to remove your boyfriend’s mother from your lives? You serious? Trying to remove a mother from her son’s life is like trying to count the stars in the sky … never going to happen! Please realize that his very reason for being can only be accredited to the woman that you hate but he so dearly loves. At least, be thankful to her for birthing your man? And what makes you think she’s jealous of you hugging, him, kissing, him and loving him? Most, if not all, mothers want their sons to choose a good woman to be their wives and mother to her grandbabies! So, surely you can understand her concern, no? You might have made a point when you said that you’re losing this battle because it’s rare that a man will choose a woman over his mother and you can’t forget who came first! Something to think about.

Secondly, it’s not cute to be raunchy or overly provocative in front of his mother! At some point it becomes disrespectful and, worse yet, tacky! Same principle is applied to women, no man would have the guts to feel his lady up in front of her father, and if he did, would Pops be readily accepting of this guy? No! Any mother would hate to think that her son has fallen for a “tramp” and if you’re displaying tramp-like behavior just to spite her, then you can’t blame her for her apprehensions! Not only do your actions show that you’re not willing to try and build a relationships with her, they’re also the precursor for division. Just like you feel she has the potential to drive a wedge between you and your “man” she could very well be frightened behind the thought of you doing the same! Think, Ma!

So, here’s the deal. This woman knows her son better than you do in terms of his character and history, so you should be smart about this. His mother may have hang-ups for reasons that have nothing to do with you and that you may know nothing about. Maybe she knows her son well enough to know that he’s making the same mistakes he’s made in the past. Maybe this is his mode of operation – falling for women too fast. Or maybe, just maybe, she feels like you lack the maturity that’s necessary to be taken seriously as a long term partner. Bottom line is this, there’s a reason for her skepticism and if you were smart about it, you would be trying to make her friends list and do all you can to find out why she’s not feeling you and quell her worries. In fact, the fact that there are many mothers who have had a problem with you, have you ever wondered why? If you really love your man, you would go out of your way to make sure that he’s comfortable when you and his mother are in the same space. Plus, he’ll love you that much more if he knows that you made a genuine effort to get to know his mom! Be smart, sis! Be smart and good luck to you!

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