Sextra: He’s So Small I Can’t Feel Him!

I don’t know what to do! I thought this was something that I could overlook in time but I have the most wonderful man any woman could ask for I really do! He’s sweet, he’s kind and generous and treats me like a queen. Don’t get me wrong we do have arguments and fight like any other couple but he’s very communicative and listens to whatever issue I may have. He’s understanding even though we might disagree he still at least tries to understand where I’m coming from and that’s hard to find so I’m really greatful for my man. The issue I’m having with him is something that he can’t help. His penis is very small and I can’t even feel it when we have sex. The only time I climax is when I’m on top of him and I have to grind on him really hard and after it’s over my hips hurt really bad and I think I’m hurting him but he would never tell me if that was the case. I feel bad because he says that he knows he’s not packing and will do whatever he needs to do to make me happy outside the bedroom but I’m used to men with some girth and length to them and it’s getting hard not to want more! I just turned 32 and my sex drive is insane and he just can’t keep up with me in the bedroom at all! At first I was cool with his lack of size because he’s a good man but I’m missing the feeling of a well endowed man putting it on me and being sore the next day I really miss that and he can’t do that for me. What should I do because he’s a good man and I don’t want to lose him and he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please help……..

Happy Saturday to you, sis! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story! So your man is not the most endowed but he treats you like a gem and you can’t decide what matters most to you? Large man parts or a solid relationship? The latter would be the most obvious, right? But not to the woman who tried to overlook the flesh to support the notion of smart decision making. What you decided is now reaping its benefits and consequence. And, seemingly, it’s safe to say that the decision has not quite been made if you’re now questioning whether you made the right choice when you decided to chase your happiness while sacrificing your sexual satisfaction. Now that the newness has worn off and your nights being content with starry eyed “cuddling” with hearts ablaze are now consumed with a primal urge to be devoured and man-handled. Ahh, the woes of choice, no?!

On the flipside, however, the strong-backed, well hung man that you fantasize about has full potential to not care at all what you think and how you feel. He could treat you like a peasant, someone who holds no value and, instead of a gem, he’ll treat you like costume jewelry. He could “put it on you” in the bedroom and leave you “sore the next day” but when it’s all said and done, not only are your innards sore, your heart and spirit are bruised and broken. That well-endowed man you dream about also has full potential to possess the man parts and all the width and girth that you lust after but lacks dedication – selflessly willing to guarantee your every desire may not be of priority or interest for him. He may have plentiful abundance in his pants but not have an ounce of skill to get the job done – anticlimactic at best. He could very well be a complete waste of talent! Not to say that all well-endowed men behave this way, it’s just an example of extremes.

So, sis, you have two options: happiness or intimate satisfaction – and the choice is completely yours! You can toss to the wind everything that you’ve built with a man that you “can’t even feel” which is disappointing, however, you can find other ways to connect with him. Dig deeper into your senses and you may discover that the most arousing thing for him to do is graze his lips over your neck or sweep his fingers down your spine … tug on your thighs and maybe your hair from time to time. You can find deeper ways to connect with him without getting your back blown out and leaving you “sore the next day” like you leave him after you’ve crushed him to get off. To make a long story short, it would be unwise to let go of a man that’s been good to you over something “he can’t help!” Find a deeper way to connect with him on a plane that transcends the cravings of the flesh and who knows what could happen. You just might end up building a spiritually intimate bond that fills you … with joy! Reevaluate your priorities, sis! Reevaluate and good luck to you!

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