You may have heard of a little book called Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus. In the popular self-help book, relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women and provides some insight on the fact that women and men communicate and function differently in relationships. He proposes instead of constantly battling the urge to change one another we should accept our differences in order to develop healthy relationships.

Whether you loved, hated or even read the book, John Gray does a decent job of pointing out that miscommunication usually occurs when partners in a relationship say one thing, but it is interpreted incorrectly. “We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways…the ways we react and behave when we love someone,” he writes.

It actually boils down to biology at its basic level. Genders think and express themselves differently, partially because our brains are built differently. Women say about 25,000 words a day; men only say about half that amount. Women are naturally better communicators. We can articulate exactly what we’re feeling in order to convey a clear message. For example, if a woman is upset about the fact that her man was late, there is no hesitation in saying, “When you’re late it makes me feel like you have no respect for my feelings or priorities.” If a guy is upset because you were late, it may come out like, “It took you that long to do THAT to your hair?” We all know the inferno that follows that comment. Men better express themselves through action, they are natural showmen. Instead of apologizing for disrespecting the effort it actually took to make your chignon look effortless, he’ll send flowers or let you have the last Oreo that he’s craving.

Take a look at some quick tips that follow in the style of John Gray’s approach to understanding all of the simple misinterpretations that make our relationships unnecessarily complicated… (Continue reading)