We understand the need to be creative with your contraband, but this is a little much. After a fight where this lady, Gloria Perez, was arrested, she had to get some more thorough check-ups because she was acting…weird.

“While Deputy Poole was verifying the females’ identification Deputy Poole noticed that Gloria kept on putting her hands into her pockets and near her private area like she was trying to conceal something.”

“Gloria became ill and was transported to Gulf Coast Hospital for further evaluation.”

“Upon further evaluation at the hospital, the hospital staff located 2 knives, one being hidden in her vagina, and the other in a roll of fat in her stomach. Another bottle of pills was located in her body fat.”

That’s just…ew. She damn near had a pawn shop stowed away in her underhead storage compartment. We pity the guy that had to pat her down.

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