Dear Bossip: Younger Man, Older Woman … She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not?

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

I was just reading the article about the woman who was bipolar and I kind of have the same issue but she’s not really bipolar just moody as hell. I’m 27 years old and the woman I’ve been seeing for about 6 months is 33. I’ve always loved older woman because they’re more willing to commit than the women my age. They kind look for more than a big house and car and poppin bottle at a hot sweaty club in the vip section. The woman I’ve been dating is hard to read because it’s like one day she wants me and the next day she doesn’t. Or sometimes, I call her up and she’s upbeat and later that day she’s short and dismissive. She’s very moody but when I have days when I don’t want to deal with her sh*t and I want to stay at my crib and watch sports she takes it personal. I’m a cool guy through and through until you mess with me and when I’m angry or if I get hot headed then you know something is wrong and she’s slowly taking me to that point. I dig this woman and I think she’s a good person but her moods are too much to handle some days. She would be perfect if she weren’t so damn moody. My thing is how do I deal with her when she’s being ugly?

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Comments

  • bouyant

    well 33 is not that old, could be you are annoying,(sometimes men are clueless like that) she is unhappy, or she might just be a bit ch, with childhood issues it happens.

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  • big c

    She could be in the very early stages of menopause or she could have hormonal imbalance.

  • Venus vs Mars

    Did you do something to make her act that way? If she’s giving you attitude all the time, then it’s time to roll. Find someone around your own age…too much drama.

  • Ronny

    The comment above me must be from someone in the south. On the topic though…i think you should leave her alone. Put her on punishment. If that doesn’t work then say deuces.

    • Venus vs Mars

      Not from the south, boo. I agree it’s time to say dueces. She’s acting like a bird…lol.

  • Ronny

    The comment above me must be from someone in the south. On the topic though…i think you should leave her alone. Put her on punishment. If that doesn’t work then say deuces..

  • MochaLove

    Wow! Been a minute since I’ve been on this site. Daywalker!! Is that what you on now?! I thought you were about to wife you a sistah … Smh. Things change I guess …

    • Come on Now

      @Mocha That fool Daywalker just be making stuff up as he goes along. He got called out on another post about all of the conflicting stories he’s made up about himself. He’s really just a troll living in his mom’s basement trying to get attention.

    • DAYWALKER (THE DAYDREAM!!!)

      <b.*(Oh, "THINGS CHANGED", alright…Mainly Ol' girl and the fact that her azz became "BRIDEZILLA" on steroids and her wedding planner was basically NUTS!! I finally had my fill when I wanted to have one of my BEST friends on the planet as my BEST MAN, and she wanted her brother to do it…Now, I'm all for "COMPROMISE", but THAT DAY was supposed to be "HER DAY", and I get that… (Truly, I do..But I'll be damned it it wasn't supposed to be mine as well!! All I asked for was that one little thing, and when she told me that a dude that had been a buddy of mine since I was in KUWAIT and had literally saved my azz from getting killed on more than one occasion couldn't be a part of what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, I was like: "Well then FU*CK IT, THEN…THE WEDDING'S OFF!!)๐Ÿ˜ˆ

  • nicca bragging about humping some white man's dicarded trash...stfu stupid

    White women and their mentally ill black men….it doesn’t know if its daywalking or daydreaming…yep thats a lithium salts rant!

  • serenity

    I am a older woman, ANY woman who mistreats a man with words, ITS usual her not him..She is under stress somewhere..know your role..if she say she is not ready for commitment make the booty call and keep it stepping..if you cant handle that, move on son..let her find another punching bag..no one should be disrespecting another human being..words hurt..

  • nicca bragging about humping some white man's dicarded trash...stfu stupid

    White females and their mentally ill black men…poor thang dont know if its sleep or woke.

  • nicca bragging about humping some white man's dicarded trash...stfu stupid

    Poor thang dont know if its sleep or woke..lol

  • London Reader

    “Well, a lot of men who date older women often make the mistake of tolerating certain forms of mistreatment simply because of the age difference. And older women who date younger men often make the mistake of treating said younger man like a boy toy who will happily consume the bs she spoon feeds him”

    So true. Don’t stand for nonsense, be firm. The fact that she’s older doesn’t mean she’s more mature. The fact that she’s fine doesn’t give her a right to act up.

    You’re not doing yourself or her any favours by giving her the impression that she can behave so ridiculously and get away with it.

    If there’s no improvement over a short period, it’s unlikely to get better so either put up with it and don’t complain or split.

    Hopefully you’ll have the self-respect to realise that no one has the right to treat you like that.

    You’ve been able to attract someone as fine as her, you’re male and you’re younger. You’ll have more/better options than she will if you separate, including younger women, who may not have such an attitude.

  • WithAllHonesty

    Read the other Love & Relationship post,”Sextra:Who Loves Gemini Lovin'” You got yourself a Gemini–RUN!

    Naw for real.
    If you’ve let her attitude persist for a more than a couple months, talking most likely won’t be effective. The tone has been set. Give it a try, but I doubt it works.

    She doesn’t respect you and she thinks you’re on her schedule. When she wants time, she expects you to be there at the drop of a hat. When she wants space, she wants you to beat it.

    You being younger than her and seemingly in awe probably set this dynamic. Don’t make the same mistake with the next woman, whether she be older or younger than you.

    Or like one person said, she hitting menopause.

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  • jdmannn

    After 6 months of dating it’s too late to change her. If you continue screwing her accept the fact she thinks she’s stronger than you and deal with it.

  • Love it, like it, or leave it...

    Maybe she has a mental illness like PMDD or PMS. Or she just mean!!! Hormonal imbalance can make women act mean!! If its worth it, encourage her to seek medical help or let it go!

  • YEAISAIDIT

    GEMINI RUN LIKE HELL!!

    TRUST ME!!

    RUN

    • MsAshley

      Sounds like it right?!?!

  • Allie

    At this stage, it’s obviously there’s obviously something going on with her, it seems like you’ve done all you can to make the situation better, i would say leave her and find someone else, it’s not doing you any good to stay with her, and it’s her problem to fix not yours, like others have said find someone around your age, who you have more in common with

  • Allie

    typo *it’s obvious there’s something

  • Coco

    You shouldn’t take any type of mistreatment no matter how much you like her. Maybe she doesn’t even realize what she’s doing. You should be “real” and tell her exactly how her moody behavior makes you feel. Your feelings matter.

  • Sexxxy Scorpio

    I bet her aszz is a Gemini!

    Well now u know y she single at age 33 and is playing round wit ur young aszz.

    I will neva b able to read her. If u stay, juss go wit d flow. Good luck….I have neva had a successful r-ship wit a Gemini.

  • whitwhit

    Really how does he sound like he’s from the south…I don’t get it…I understand that we have a different accent from the people up north.. and we don’t talk all hard and act like we better than anyone else…. cause I know yall have some backward people up there too..so don’t act like its always someone from here…but why do people from the south have to sound ignorant…????Wtf that come from…who made this ish up..I live in the south and I do not talk like at all…no hoodrat slang or nothing of that kind. I just don’t like when people say stuff about people from the south. We all don’t have different color weave, baby daddy in jail, acting ghetto in public. That is not me. So people when you say stuff like this person maybe from some place that you don’t known….why stereotype that’s not fair to the people who act more civilized, and work hard for what we got. Not to rag on you but I do apologize….that is something that I really don’t understand.
    Ps I didn’t sp check nothin its to late goodnite deeps..

    • NY'erInThaChi

      Because they dealt with racsim longet than most northeners did. But still thats no excuse. We as a people should have the right to be with whoever we want to be with reguardless of their oppinion. I dont agree with daywalkers comment or the other one with the white women and mentally ill black men, but i respect it.
      When i dated a southern girl fron VA, after i had my son (half withe, half black), she had a hard time understanding that where i was from back in the day black woman were dating hispanic men, because of their hair so they can braid it! Or that black woman at that time were dating only the drug dealers and the thugs which i was none of, so when i am seen with my white girlfriend then im the uncle tom. No, I put my life on the line every day because I am in the military and i am free to date, marry, and do whatever I want!

    • Uh...huh

      I’ve always wondered why some northern blacks look down their noses at those of us from the south. They hurl stereotypes left and right but would be hard pressed if we did the same. At the end of the day, we’re all black or so I used to think. But what do i know, I’m just another dumb black southern chick.

    • Ny'erInThaChi

      I cant speak for all of us but I never looked down on anybody (at least i try not to) and I love southern women period. But I just wish that we stop all this racism that we have and it starts with us. Its obvious that racist people are not going to stop so we as in people are going to have to fix it ourselves and it will fade out. I just wish that we could one day never will a word grace our lips again.

  • whitwhit

    Really how does he sound like he’s from the south…I don’t get it…I understand that we have a different accent from the people up north.. and we don’t talk all hard and act like we better than anyone else…. cause I know yall have some backward people up there too..so don’t act like its always someone from here…but why do people from the south have to sound ignorant…????Wtf that come from…who made this ish up..I live in the south and I do not talk like at all…no hoodrat slang or nothing of that kind. I just don’t like when people say stuff about people from the south. We all don’t have different color weave, baby daddy in jail, acting ghetto in public. That is not me. So people when you say stuff like this person maybe from some place that you don’t known….why stereotype that’s not fair to the people who act more civilized, and work hard for what we got. Not to rag on you but I do apologize….that is something that I really don’t understand.
    Ps I didn’t sp check nothin its to late goodnite peeps..

  • whitwhit

    Didn’t mean to double post….my bad๐Ÿ˜›

  • SayCheese

    I could never been in a relationship with a younger guy. That’s a step back and a waste of time.

    • Suzie

      Holla back when you hit your mid-thirties. I’m SURE you will feel differently.

    • Louisiana Lover

      #1- NEVER say never

      #2- Its depends on where u r in ur life. Most of the women i know who deal with younger men are separated or divorced. The younger man can bring alot of excitement in ur life & can be used as a rebound. Depeninding on his level of maturity & responsiblity, the woman can decide if she wants smtg long-term

      I have dealt with a few younger (post-separation) & they are cool. Some want to be controlling, others are carefree & loving

  • Shani

    Perhaps she suffers from depression. If so she should get help for her mood swings, or it could be your behavior that is setting her off. Whatever the case talk to her and try and find out what is the cause of this type of behavior.

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