Random Ridiculousness: Coney Island Boardwalk Employees Ration Toilet Paper To Patrons

Only in New York are you forced to deal with the potty police … It’s a sad day when you can’t decide how clean and dry you want to be.

The city is so hard up for cash that it’s rationing toilet paper in women’s public restrooms — to the point where bathroom attendants are doling out a few measly squares per patron — along the world-famous Coney Island boardwalk.

The Post witnessed stone-faced Parks Department employees leave toilet-paper dispensers empty last week and instead force astonished female beachgoers to form “ration lines” in the bathrooms.

Regina Ballone, 25, of Brooklyn visited a boardwalk bathroom at West 16th Street Wednesday and was “grossed out” at the thought of someone else handling her toilet paper.

“Never in my life have I experienced anything like this,” she said. “I walked toward a stall, and a bathroom attendant stopped me by shouting, ‘Hey, mami! There’s no toilet paper here,’ and she whipped out a big roll for me to grab some.”

Beachgoers also have been forced to line up for their paltry allotment of the city’s cheap, single-ply toilet paper at the boardwalk’s other women’s restroom at Stillwell Avenue.

Benedikte Friis and Ann Damgaard, both 22, from Denmark, said they enjoyed visiting Coney Island last week — except when it came to the bathrooms.

“It’s very weird that someone decides how much paper you get because they don’t know what situation you’re in,” said Friis, 22, laughing in disbelief. “You might need more!”

Toilet-paper rationing isn’t an issue in the men’s rooms — but only because they apparently don’t have any to ration. The toilet paper was gone whenever a The Post reporter went to inspect the men’s rooms.

The Parks Department refused to say how much it budgeted for toilet paper and other supplies, with a spokeswoman saying only, “Bathroom supplies are stocked daily, and our budget for these supplies is consistent.

“There’s no need to ration, and we’ll make certain our staff does not do so,” added the rep, Meghan Lalor.

But bathroom attendants privately insisted that the department isn’t adequately stocking the boardwalk with enough bathroom supplies, which is why they are forced to ration what they have.

Dianna Carlin, owner of the Lola Star Boutique, said the bathrooms should be in better shape considering boardwalk merchants agreed to pay the city fees this summer to keep them open longer.

“I gave $1,000 but would’ve been better off buying $1,000 worth of toilet paper and dropping it off,” she said.

Now we have to tote toilet paper? Stuff feels like sandpaper anyway. And the fellas have none? What if nature calls and a man has to make some moves, he’s ish outta luck, huh? C’mon son, NYC needs to get it together and do better.

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