Dave Chappelle – Killin’ Them Softly
Hilarious Quote - “Hey, I gotta make a stop real quick.” At 3 o’clock in the morning, and I didn’t know he was taking me to the ghetto at first. I started looking out the window, see gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store, where the fawk you taking me? This don’t look good. He didn’t say isht. He just pulled up in front of an old rickety building that looked like a project. I’ve never been there before, I’m not sure if it was a project, it certainly had all the familiar symptoms of a project. A fawking crackhead ran this way, tktktktktktk! Then another one jumped out of a tree and isht, tktktk! The guy said, “I’ll be right back,” and left me. Took the keys with him and just left me. At 3 o’clock in the morning, in front of a project, in a fawking limousine. This was not good. I was like, “I gotta look around, find some landmarks, see if I can figure out where I’m at. I might have to escape on foot.” Now this is when I know I’m in a bad neighborhood, you only see this in the worst neighborhoods. Remember, this was 3 o’clock in the morning. I looked out the window, and there was a fawking baby standing on the corner. And the baby didn’t even look scared, he was just standing there. And it made me sad you know, because I wanted to help the baby. I was like, “Mm mm I don’t trust you either, click! clllick! The old baby-on-the-corner trick, eh? Not gonna fall for that sh*t.