Dear Bossip: He Was Taking Care Of Me Financially, But The Past Year His Pockets Have Been On Empty

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. He’s 42 and I’m 24. I know the age difference sounds bad but I do love him. When I first met him he was a dream come true. He couldn’t do any wrong, but they say all that glitters isn’t gold, which I found out as time went by.

When we first got together he didn’t mention he had a baby on the way, which I found out about. But, he was with me all the time and he had conceived before I even came into the picture, so I forgave him for it and we moved past it. Then came his crazy ass baby mama who was harassing me calling my phone, and even waiting for me in my building. It even got so bad that I had to fight her (I’m too old to be fighting). At that point I had enough. I decided to leave, but he made me feel guilty because he said it was her and not him and he was right, so once again we stayed together.

Now time has passed and he is no longer able to provide for me financially like he was before. It’s been a year and still his finances have not improved. He’s been a provider since day one so when things got tough I stuck by his side, but now I’m feeling like I can’t it anymore. He doesn’t ask me for money and he doesn’t live with me. I have my own money, but I’m used to him providing. So, I don’t know what to do. Should I stick it out for a little bit longer or should I leave since he’s older and should be set right by now. (P.S. – He had a good paying job but left to start his own business and that’s when the problems started with the money) Please write back I need help making a decision – Need Him To Be A Provider

Dear Ms. Need Him To Be A Provider,

Sniff, sniff – You smell that? Somebody’s a gold digger. I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.

I guess you’re right about your statement, “All that glitters isn’t gold.” Honey, you got some cheap fake gold. That –ish is rubbing off and now you’re scratching and itching. Girl, you better be careful before you get a rash, or some Keloids. (Looks over at that small red spot on your left thigh)

But, I don’t understand what a 24 year old have in common with a 42 year old. What could you two possibly be talking about? You’re from two generations. Chile, you’re not from the same musical era, historical era, or social era. Honey, you have no reference to anything he’s experienced or done in life. And, I hope he’s not trying to keep up with you, acting young and walking around with braids in his head, wearing some One’s, with his white Tees, and pants sagging off his ass. Honey, if he’s like that then I totally understand the connection. Simple is as simple does. But, I know it goes beyond that. My bad, how foolish of me, he’s been breaking you off financially since day one. I get it. It’s all about the Benjamins, ba-by! Girl, get that money!

Now you’re mad that he can’t afford to get your weave tightened every other month. He can’t afford to get your mani and pedi every other week. He can’t afford the red bottom Christian Louboutin’s and he’s getting you the orange bottoms from Kristin Labootown. He can’t afford the Gucci or LV bags, and he’s getting you the knock-off Cucci and IU bags (The “C” almost looks like a “G” and the “IU” almost looks like “LV”). LMBAO!

Girl, here’s the thing. He’s 42 years old with a baby momma. And, this chick is running up on you and you’re fighting her over a man neither of you are married to. Neither of you can hold claim to him. And, neither of you are benefitting from him financially. SMDH! And, on top of it all, he stopped working to start his own business, so he has no income coming in. Uhm, sweetie, what logical person in their right mind will walk away from a job, with a steady paycheck, to go start a business and have no plan or resources for income? Was that really a smart move for someone who is 42 years old? I’ll hold on while you answer that.

And, why are you holding on to a man who has a financial responsibility to another woman and child, and he’s running around here banging out young chicks, and not making none of you his wife? You’ve been with him for two years, and I’m sorry, but help me out here, uhm, what type of future do you see yourself having with him? Really? Really! Let’s say that you two decide to get married and start having kids, but hold on sweetie, he already has a child, so the household he has to maintain with your high-maintenance ass, and then take care of his responsibility as a dad, hmmmm, this picture is not looking so good.

Besides, the other woman has already proven to be unstable. Sniff, sniff – You smell that? Baby momma drama. Time to pack your –ish and get the hell out! Why are you sticking around putting up with his issues and problems? I just want to yank your little ass and shake some sense into your head. You do not owe him anything. You are not obligated to him for anything. You running that line he ran on you talking about, “He made me feel guilty because he said it was her and not him.” You sound like your 12 years old agreeing and saying he was right. The HELL!??! No one can make you feel guilty about anything, especially if they created the situation, but he ran that old man game on you and you fell for it with your young dumb ass!

It’s obvious you want to leave, so get your ass out of that damn relationship and move on with your life. Honey, find someone your age or close to it. There are plenty of young, available, intelligent, smart, hard-working, and sexually vibrant men who will love to be with someone like you. Yes, there are men who like taking care of their women, and don’t mind shelling out the dollars to keep you looking good. You’ve sharpened your gold digging skills, now go out there and make use of them. Dig young gold seeker, dig long, hard, and deep. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

“LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE!

Make sure to get your copy of my new book,  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click  HERE!

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