Last week when we were counting down the list of Hip-Hop relationships we’ve loved over the years, we came up with more than a handful of couples that probably should have never been together.
From drug use to dirty dog ways to just questionable all the way around, check out some of the Hip-Hop couples we have loved laughing and cringing at over the years.
Treach and Pepa – One of Hip-Hop’s original “celebrity couples,” the amount of crazy that went on in Treach and Pepa’s relationship is no secret. Still, for the two years they managed to remain married, they were everything girls in the hood aspired to have in life.
DMX and Tashera Simmons – there are only two ways you can be married to a crackhead for 11 years. Either you’re a crackhead yourself or you’re the biggest enabler on the planet and you don’t want better for your life and your children.
Biggie Smalls and Faith Evans – As much as we will always love Big Poppa, there is no getting around the fact that he was a HORRIBLE husband to Faith. And she committed the ultimate rapper wife/girlfriend sin: sleeping with his boy, who, as the universe would have it, became Big’s enemy and didn’t hesitate for a second to use that against Big.
Big still takes the blame in this one though, because….
Biggie Smalls and Charli Baltimore – Big was also a horrible man to Charli Baltimore. If Faith was married to Christopher, than Charli was “Biggie’s” official girl. And if it wasn’t for the fact that she had two babies, we’d almost be convinced that she never got over it. Because Big really had that effect on broads…
Biggie Smalls and Lil’ Kim – We don’t even want to imagine the kind of bedroom action Big put on Kim, but 15 years later, she’s still enraptured by the penis. And talking about it as often as she can. She also claimed at one point to have been pregnant with Big’s child and chosen not to keep it. Which we don’t believe for a second.
Big Pun and Liza Rios – In the years since Big Pun passed away, his beloved widow, the mother of his children has shown her love and preserved his legacy by telling anyone who would listen how he used to beet her ass and how he failed to make any provisions for her to continue feeding their kids off of his career.
Angie Martinez and Nokio – We’re almost certain that the problem here starts with the fact that both of these people have at some point or another considered themselves to be rappers. We don’t quite know how or when they got together, but a child came of the relationship. We’re not even really sure if there was a relationship and when it ended. But judging from this:
we’re pretty sure Angie has jumped ship and searches daily for an explanation for her son as to why Daddy likes boys. Just in case.
Irv Gotti and Deb – If you remember “Gotti’s Way,” you know that Irv Gotti’s wife Deb was a fairly attractive woman. The kind who could have gotten anyone to replace that little megalomaniacal, womanizing man of hers and his vanishing fortune. But somehow, Irv convinced Deb to remain in an “open relationship” that only he was benefiting from. Irv actually turned Deb’s life into all of those songs that made Ashanti a hit when he was chopping it down. SMH
Foxy Brown and Kurupt – Remember when these two were flaunting their then b-list love all over until it fell apart? And then they each went to find new c-list loves to flaunt in each other’s faces? And now neither Foxy nor Kurupt nor that fake Left-Eye chick from “Blaque” are in any way shape or form relevant, and Spragga Benz hasn’t had a hit in the US in years.
Jeezy and Keyshia Cole – As perfect a hoodrich couple as Jeezy and Keyshia may have been, their love was destined to fall apart. After all, there’s no way marriage to Jeezy could have brought her to that “damn, Keyshia’s all happy on her songs all of a sudden” moment of artistic clarity that all young Mary J. Blige-alikes must come to. And to think how devastated Keyshia probably was when Jeezy shot down her proposal. And now he gets drunk and plays Marvin’s Room on repeat.
Kanye West and Amber Rose – If Kanye didn’t have money and a career and a wide array of models throwing themselves at him, he would be a stalker. Seriously, all that rappin’ about her, skits about reupholstering her lady parts, randomly changing lyrics in old songs to call her a ho? That’s crazy man behavior. And we would have never known that side of Yeezy if it wasn’t for Amber.
Swizz Beatz and Mashonda – Once upon a time, Swizz Beatz couldn’t really imagine that he would ever be hot independently of the Ruff Ryders brand. So he wifed up the one female member of the crew who wasn’t an ex-stripper or a member of his family. Then he blew up and Mashonda… stayed Mashonda. They tried the open relationship thing too, we’ve heard. But it worked out way better for him than it did for her. And Mashonda played the victim…
Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys – …and Swizzy tried to build his happily ever after with a woman who embodies every bit of that world-travelling collector of fine arts coat he’s trying to wear in real life. Too bad for Alicia he tarnished her reputation in the process. Oh, and that he is who he is and tigers very rarely change their stripes. But, you know… good things come out of dysfunction some times. Right..?
Fabolous and Emily B. – Ever since LL Cool J’s semi-retirement from Rap Music, Fabolous has taken over the role of rapper who can make music for the b****** without losing one ounce of street cred. And when we heard that his baby mama would be on the cast of “Love & Hip-Hop,” we thought we would finally get to meet the woman who makes him better. Not so much. Turns out all of those lovey dovey rap songs are just pretend. Which kind of makes us wonder about every thing else Fab raps about…
Lil Wayne and his Harem Of Baby Mamas – Nothing about that whole situation is normal. We understand being civil for the sake of the kids. But come the hell on: we know Nivea and the random non-famous baby mama can’t possibly be this cool with their arrangement.