First off, I would like to say I love the site. I check it multiple times a day. My day is not complete without my Bossip fix. LOL.
But, I like the honesty you give to people asking advice. I need some advice on a situation I’m kind of embarrassed about.
So, there is this guy who’s a senior at my college. I met him last year when I was a freshman and I am now a Sophomore. Here’s where it gets weird. We met on Facebook. Although we do have mutual real life friends, we just never met in person. We text a lot and we are pretty cool. It’s easy to talk to him, and all that. It just seems like he is playing games with me. I like him a lot now, and we have been planning to meet up. It’s hard though because our schedules our way different this year. I work, take 12 credit hours, and I am in 3 on-campus programs. He lives off-campus, works, and is finishing up to graduate in December.
He tells me that he wants to see me, but then when I plan to come over, which I have to plan because I take the bus and he’s not getting his car back till the end of this month, it’s always a big run around that usually ends with us not seeing each other. It’s annoying to me because I just want to be able to see him so we can get past this phase. I mean when you never seen somebody you can’t be all the way open, or talk about certain things because you don’t know if you’ll like what you see. He always says I wanna get close to you. He always checks on me, offers to help me study, wishes me luck on my exams, and he’ll even joke around about me being his girlfriend (although not funny).
Once when we were talking about something and I told him to call one of his other girls, and he said I don’t have others I want you. He jokes around about sex a lot too, and I have often told him firmly that I don’t sleep around and that I prefer to be in a committed relationship or married before I take that step, which he says he understands. I feel that has stopped me from going over his place a few times because I don’t want him to have the wrong idea and be disappointed. I’m just confused because on one hand it seems like he likes me, and then it seems like maybe I’m just an option for him. Should I let it go or see where this is going? – Should I Stay Or Go
Dear Ms. Should I Stay Or Go
Yes, he is playing games with you. It’s called, “How to make a girl fall for you off Facebook and hype her head and make her feel like she’s the only girl in the world, and then smash and dump her.”
Chile, I can’t today. Really! Are you sure you in college, at an accredited institution that offers four-year degrees?
How the hell can the two of you attend the same college, yet you have never seen one another in all this time? How the hell can the two you attend the same college, and at no point make an effort to meet at the library, student union, cafeteria, or some common area just to do a meet and greet? Chile, that man ain’t no bit interested in you.
But, I want to understand why are you making all the arrangements to go to his off-campus apartment to visit him? You have to take a bus to his place. Do you think that is safe? Do you think in your college educated head that it makes sense to go see a man you only know from Facebook, and to take the bus t his home? SMDH! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
If he is interested in meeting up with you, or getting together, don’t you think he would make an effort to come see you? Don’t you think he would be a man and possibly meet you half way on the bus route, or better yet, he take the bus to you, go have coffee, or do lunch, or walk to the library to study? You sitting over there talking about you can’t be all the way open, or talk about certain things because you don’t know what someone looks like, yet your hot ass is already open and ready. GTFOH!
You did state that he jokes around about sex a lot. Hmmm, what does that tell you? What’s on his mind? What is he thinking about? For once in your life, think damn it!!! And, then you say to him that you’re not the type of girl to have random sex and that you don’t sleep around, and yet you’re inquiring as to why you two never met. Let me give you the answer to this pop quiz so your dumbass won’t sit there looking stupid like everyone else: HE’S LOOKING FOR SOME SEX! Pay attention to what he is saying to you and get your slow ass head out of the clouds.
You want to know if you’re an option for him. Uhm, sweetie, you’re not option. You’re not even a consideration. You already told him what you are not willing to do with him. And, he has already told you want he wanted from you. Let’s do some college work and get to the equation of the matter. You don’t want to appear as some hoe, tramp, whore and go to his home and hook-up, yet he keeps bringing up sex. If what you want and what he wants doesn’t match then what is the common denominator in this equation? Ding, ding, ding! You don’t have anything in common. Chile, you’re in college and you can’t figure this out? What school are you in? State Mental Institution University.
Here’s my suggestion. Tell him that if he is interested in meeting up with you, then he needs to make a vital effort to come see you. Set a date. Set a location on campus or near the campus. Let someone know where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and details about the guy. Then, when you do meet listen to what he is saying to you. Listen to the conversation and if he keeps bringing up sex. But, for some odd reason I get the feeling that you’re going to be so happy and giddy to meet him that he’ll invite you back to his apartment and you’re going to take your fast ass over there and let him smash. Girl, don’t play with me, and don’t play yourself. Let’s be mature adults about this and talk real because all this conversation he’s filling your head with, you are anxious to meet him, and if he’s cute, good-looking, or handsome, your panties will be wettier than the sweat gathering under your weave. – Terrance Dean
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