Hold Up, Woah Dere: New Lawsuit Says Ashton And Demi’s Matrimony-dom Isn’t Even Legal

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Categories: Break Ups, ChitChatter, Hi Hater, Ho Sit Down, In White Folks News, News, What the Hell???

Lawsuit Claims Ashton And Demi Aren't Legally Married

Hmmm… Maybe Ashton Kutcher isn’t quite the dirty, cheating, adulterous dog that little blonde floozy would have us all believe.

According to some Kabbalah-hating man who is suing Ashton and Demi for spreading their cult-y pseudo religion which he claims is a fraud, Mr. and Mrs. Kutcher are only pretend married.

Marc Aisen filed a lawsuit on March 29, suing Kutcher, Madonna, and other Kabbalah members for racketeering and conspiracy to engage in a pattern of racketeering activity. Aisen is representing himself in the case.

The lawsuit states: “Mr. Kutcher made a media circus out of his Kabbalah wedding to actress and hardcore Kabbalah cult member, Demi Moore, who is a longtime friend of the defendant Ms. Ciccone. As the ‘First Couple’ of organized Kabbalah, the ‘wedding’ presided over by defendant and alleged fraudster, Yehuda Berg — which I am pointing out again was not a private family affair, as all parties used it as a publicity stunt and invited media attention — was not a legal union, nor is the marriage according to California law.

“Nor is the myth that there is such a thing as a traditional Kabbalah wedding as I can’t seem to find evidence in any book that such a ceremony was ever performed in history. It was a way to put a glamorous face on the weird witches which is antisocial in their every manifestation.”

Aisen, who is Jewish, but not a follower of Kabbalah, began investigating the practices after claiming he designed a talisman necklace for Madonna that was worth $500. “There was one caveat to my generosity which was that I stipulated that Ms. Ciccone was to model the necklace in public and give me credit for designing it,” the docs state. Aisen says Madonna was photographed wearing the necklace but never gave him credit for it, and this is when he began “homework on the Kabbalah Center. What I found, I did not like. I learned the Kabbalah Centre is actually a militant and fanatical cult behind which is a racketeering conspiracy,” the lawsuit says.

Oh wait. Nevermind. Clearly this angry man’s lunatic rant isn’t proof of anything.

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