Hoes. They make the world go round. But sometimes, they don’t know their place. Their job is to ho and go about their business. But in 2011, hoes are getting wifed up at a rapid-fire pace.
Becoming a groupie, stripper or ho is almost as lucrative as getting a damn education these days. It’s quite the shame. But who do we have to blame? These celebrity simps that don capes and turn into Captain Save A Ho overnight. Tsk Tsk. Blame them for the ho conglomerate! Here are some simps and hoes that are ruining the balance of the world.
Mario – This chick, Dez was Mario’s boo for a while. She’s a former skripper and Amber Rose’s sister. But that didn’t stop Mario from talking about her in interviews and taking her out to the beach. SMH. This broad was winning.
Dwyane Wade – The whole story is right here. D Wade was wifing up strippers left and right instead of just sticking with his dime side-piece Gabrielle Union. Dude needs to get his priorities together.
Kanye West – Yeezy may have made this popular. He grabbed Amber Rose from right off the pole and saved her. He launched her career and now she’s even in movies. While Amber is a down chick, her rise from lap to luxury had hoes chasing dreams.
Drake – He’s a hoe-saver for real. He not only saves them and wifes them up, but he writes ballads and sings about how these hoes broke his little pansy heart. But that’s only when he’s on his cycle.
Shaq – Diesel was constantly wifing up his hoe-y side-pieces. Of course, this all culminated in him putting a ring on Hoopz. Dude, will you ever learn?
Kimmy Cakes’ Men – Why does any man in his right mind stay trying to wife her hoe-y cakes? Lord knows she doesn’t give a damn about marriage, so she won’t care about you. But men never learn.
Conrad Murray – All of his dirty laundry came out during his trial for killing MJ. One thing we learned was that he scooped up his own breezy out of the strip club and had kids with her. So when she showed up on the stand, everybody rolled their eyes at her and her attention whoring outfit, too.
Superhead Husband – We don’t know who this guy is, but he clearly makes horrible life choices. He wifed up Hip-Hop’s most notorious hoe and he seems to be happy about it! Just making the world think Superhead is wifey material is making hoes everywhere think they can make it.
Dwight Howard – D Howard has been dipping his seeds in hoes across the NBA and Royce is just one of them. You don’t mess around with the cheerleaders, dude! That’s an NBA no-no.
Jesse James – He not only wifed up a ho, he left his wife for her! But this goes both ways because he’s just as big a lowly hoe as she is. Maybe they were just made for each other.