Breaking News: Herman “The Godfather Pizza Pimp” Cain Has Decided To Drop Out Of The Presidential Race

So long, farewell, sayonara, hasta la vista, peace, deuces, holla back, au revoir, auf wiedersehen…

Herman Cain, the insurgent populist whose candidacy has been ensnared by allegations of sexual impropriety, said Saturday that he is leaving the race for the Republican presidential nomination, saying that the allegations have cast a “cloud of doubt over me and this campaign.”

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” he said at an event in Atlanta. “I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction, the continued hurt . . . on me, on my family, not because we are not fighters, not because I am not a fighter.”

Cain’s campaign had sent mixed signals as to his future since Ginger White, an Atlanta woman who claims to have had an affair with Cain for more than a decade, went public with her story earlier this week. While Cain has said he has been “reassessing” his candidacy, he also, at times, has been fiercely defiant, suggesting that unnamed enemies have been trying to do him in and vowing to press forward.

“The pundits would like for me to shut up, drop out and go away,” he said. “I am not going to be silenced, and I am not going away.”

White’s claims came after Cain faced weeks of allegations of sexual misconduct by at least three women stemming from his tenure as the head of the National Restaurant Assn. in the late 1990s.

It was a good run, but let’s keep it real, Herman Cain was a moron. He was never going to get the Republican nomination anyway, it’s just a shame that a black man was brought down by some hoes than on his own political merit (or lack thereof)

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