So Much For That: God’s Only Begotten Quarterback Tim Tebow Gets Embarrassed By The Patriots, Jesus Tweets An Explanation

Tim Tebow And Denver Broncos Suffer Embarrassing Loss In Last Game Of The Season

Awww! Poor wittle Tebow.

Just like that, Tim Tebow’s special journey this season concluded Saturday night. A story that transcended the game and captivated those who don’t follow the sport came to an end with one cold thud.

The Denver Broncos ran into the AFC’s top-seeded New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium, and the gadget offense that launched Tebowmania was no match against 34-year-old Tom Brady, a polished postseason performer seven years removed from his last Super Bowl championship.

Tebow became the first NFL quarterback to deliver six fourth-quarter comebacks in his first 11 starts, and then he knocked out the Pittsburgh Steelers and their top-ranked defense in the wild-card round last Sunday with an 80-yard touchdown pass in overtime.

He was ineffective in this setting, forced to endure derisive chants of “Tebow!”

There were no heroics. Instead, it was fireworks from Brady as he tied an NFL postseason record with six touchdown passes in a 45-10 victory in a divisional round game.

By the time Brady threw the sixth touchdown pass early in the third quarter, Tebow had completed three passes for 28 yards. The last quarterback to throw for six touchdowns passes in a postseason game had been Steve Young in Super Bowl XXIX, and Brady didn’t pass when the Patriots got to the four-yard line early in the fourth quarter.

“I have no idea [about] records,” Brady said. “We try to go out and execute offensively. … Hopefully, we can go out next week and play even better.”

The Patriots ended a postseason losing streak at three games and will play host to the AFC championship game next Sunday against the Houston Texans-Baltimore Ravens winner.

Brady’s NFL-record five touchdown passes in the first half — three to tight end Rob Gronkowski — staked the Patriots to a 35-7 halftime lead.

The Patriots didn’t relent and Tebow was befuddled, unable to react when his primary receiver was covered. He completed only nine of 26 passes for 136 yards. He was sacked five times.

So what happened? Did Tebow just panic because of the pressure? Did he get distracted during his pre-game prayer? Did some woman tempt him and break his Christian chi?

Jesus offered an explanation…

blog comments powered by Disqus
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 10,373 other followers