I’m going to get right to the point, Hun!I met this guy while at work a couple of weeks ago. After helping him with his retail related needs, we began to chat. He told me he was married for 11 years and divorced for one year, had a successful auto wholesale business, three children, etc. He eventually asked me out. I thought he was handsome, well-spoken, well-mannered, and well-dressed so I allowed him to take me to dinner.
After a few dates we really seemed to hit it off. So, instead of plunging in head first I prayed and asked the Lord to show me what purpose this person would serve in my life. After my prayer, I got the urge to ‘Google’ him.
During my search I found out that was actually married twice, there were several complaints listed online from customers he swindled or tried to swindle in various ways! On top of that, this knee-grow has accumulated 15 various misdemeanors AND felonies from 1997 to 2010!!!
I immediately hit him with the, “I’m not over my ex,” line and told him that I could no longer see him. My line was clearly ineffective as he will not stop calling and texting me! When I ignore his attempts at communication he shows up at my job!
My friends say that I should just tell him that I know he’s a crook, but I’m kinda scared! What should I do to get him to leave me alone?
P.S.- For the record, I have not given him even the slightest whiff of the cookie! I’m a lady! – Doesn’t Want To Be His Next Felony
Dear Ms. Doesn’t Want To Be His Next Felony,
Girl, I’m over here shouting and doing the praise dance to Souled Out by Hezekiah Walker. You deserve the You Ain’t Gon’ Fool Me And Have Me In A Trick Bag Award.
I love the fact that before you went any further with this man, you got on your knees and sought the Lord for guidance about your next move with him and what purpose this man would serve in your life. If only half the people who write in seeking advice would do the same before they jump in the bed with someone and end up pregnant, broke, with bad credit, emotionally drained, mentally stressed, and cluster f***ed, then they wouldn’t have the problem, stress, aggravation, and woe is me attitude. But, lo and behold, we have a woman who used the common sense God gave her, and she used her brain to actually think before she made a move, and look what we have BOOM! BAM! POW! She was saved and spared a life of heartache, misery, and pain.
You say you got the ‘urge,’ and I’m going to say, “You were instructed by that small little voice of God telling you to ‘Google him!’”
You see, ladies, gentlemen, chickens, roosters, birds, and donkeys, this is how you do it!!! Before you go any further with anyone, and jump in the bed, spread your legs, get on your back, and let your emotions run your life, you should seek some type of spiritual counsel or higher consciousness of understanding to give you guidance, a sign, a word, or a smack upside the head letting you know, “No you don’t! Pump your brakes and take it slow. THIS PERSON IS NOT THE ONE!”
And, you see what she discovered; He was actually married twice, and there were several complaints listed online from customers he swindled or tried to swindle in various ways. He also has 15, not 1 or 2, but 15 misdemeanors AND felonies from 1997 to 2010! Girl, he is a career criminal. One or two things could have happened: He would have gotten hold of your bank statements, social security number, and the next thing you know you would have had several businesses, cars, and other types of –ish in your name without your knowledge. Or, once you started sexing him, and he would have blown your back out, he would have came to you with some sorry ass lame line talkin’ ‘bout he wants you to invest in his next new business venture and you would have been handing over your life savings. SMDH!
I really do commend you on doing the right thing and deciding not to be involved with this master criminal, but, I’m like your friends. I would put his ass on blast! Freak that, “I’m not over my ex,” line. He doesn’t understand that type of ‘leave me alone’ tactic. He is a swindler and hustler. So, unfortunately, you’ve got to put on your ‘Knee-Grow-Be-Gone-Swindling-Ass Fighting Gloves’ and give him a quick one two punch. BOOP! BOOP!
So, print out all the documentation you discovered online about him. Laminate it, and put it in a nice binder and then make three sections with color coded tabs: Yellow color tab for married twice instead of once. Have all the information under this section. Blue color tab for all the complaints filed against him from customers he swindled or tried to swindle. Have the dates, names, and complaints highlighted in yellow marker. Red color tab for all the misdemeanors and felonies he’s been charged with. I would get all the court documentations and highlight them in yellow marker.
The next time he arrives at your job, you say, “Oh, hey, ______________. I’m so glad you’re here.” This is when you reach under the counter and pull out the binder. “I want to show you some things.” And, then proceed to flip through the binder and review each section with him. After you finish, you say, “Shhhhh, there is no need to respond. I don’t want to hear it. But, based on this information do you honestly think a woman like me would be remotely interested in a man like you?” Then slowly move toward your purse and pull out your glock, and if you don’t have a CCW license, then pull out your mace, and proceed to let him know, “I have a restraining order of protection. You have 10 seconds to leave and never harass, call, text, hand gesture, glance, or even drive in the same lane as me.” Then look up at the clock and then back at him, and then say, “You now have 2 seconds before the cops will have to pull me off your ass.” And, trust me, that will put an end to it all. LMBAO!
But, for real, you do need to let him know what you know about him so that he will stop thinking his behavior of showing up at your job, calling, texting, and harassing you is cute. He thinks you’re playing hard to get. Let him know you’re not playing hard to get. You’re just not playing! So, don’t be scared. Remember, God has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, power, and a sound mind. Check out the video below and get your praise dance on!! – Terrance Dean
Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean
Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!