Pure Comedy: Florida Woman Blames Drunk Driving On Her Tig Ole Bitties, Not Alcohol

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Categories: DUI, Florida Crazies, News, Slizzard, SMH, What the Hell???, What Were You Thinking?

Marueen Raymond dui maureen raymond dui

Only in Florida:

A Port St. Lucie woman facing DUI charges told arresting officers her “big boobies” were to blame for her inability to perform sobriety tests, according to an arrest report. Maureen Jane Raymond, 49, was arrested in Jensen Beach on Jan. 29 after she was stopped by cops who responded to a reckless vehicle call, according to the Martin County Sheriff’s Office report.

According to the report, a deputy saw Raymond driving over 50 mph in a 35 mph zone in her grey Camry and crossing over the double yellow line twice before parking in two spots at a Walgreen’s. The deputy smelled an odor of alcohol on Raymond and noticed she had slurred speech, glassy eyes and staggered when she walked, the report said.

According to the report, Raymond started drinking out of a glass, telling the deputy it was tea. A second glass found in the car smelled like an alcoholic beverage, the deputy wrote in the report. “When I told her we were going to do some roadside tasks she told me that I needed to understand that she is big chested and if I asked her to close her eyes and balance she is not going to balance well,” the deputy wrote. “She told me ‘big breast you don’t balance well.'”

Asked if she had any injuries, Raymond replied she had big breasts and whiplash, the report said. The report said Raymond had a hard time following directions and that when she was asked to walk a straight line, she began to dance.

“When I told her she had to keep her hands at her side she stated hell no not with these. Telling me again she can’t do it, not with her big boobies,” the deputy wrote, adding Raymond “began to take her clothes off to show me her breast and I stopped her.”

Raymond was asked to count and “she seemed to sing the numbers while counting,” the report said. The deputy arrested Raymond for DUI, and she was taken to the station for a breath test. But before the breath test, Raymond insisted she pray, the report said. “She told me she was praying and that I need to relax because she is praying and God is first,” the deputy wrote.

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