Dear Bossip: When He Got Locked Up I learned He Was Cheating On Me & I Don’t Know If I Should Be There For Him

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

Hello! I love that you keep it sooooo real.

Let me start off by saying that I’ve known this guy for 13 years. We got together in 2007, and for the past 5 years we’ve been off and on. We have not been intimate since June 2011. We pretty much went our separate ways, and then he comes back in January and states that he wants to make it work. I agree and set my rules. He agrees to them, but the next day he gets locked up, so I break into his voicemail and found all types of messages from different girls. I contacted them all and had conference calls about the one guy that put all of us in the same situation. It turns out that he was cheating all along, and I was just the girl he cared about the most. And, I say that loosely. I then wrote him a nasty letter saying he’s going to rot in jail and I damn sure told him what I did and what was said…….LOL! Now, I feel bad because we were friends before anything, at least I thought we were. My question is should I still be there for him now that he’s in prison? I ignore his calls and everything, so what now? – Reconsidering

Dear Ms. Reconsidering,

What the damn hell is wrong with your ass!?!? This man is in prison, and you learn that he’s been cheating on you with several different women, and you’re asking me this ole’ basic ass question of whether or not you should be there for him? For what? Girl, he’s community d**k! He’s a walking infectious disease waiting to happen. What are you really thinking of reconsidering?

You’re just dumb. Dumber. And, dumbest for even thinking of getting back with him. And, you’re such a retard for even thinking about his broke, lame, trifling, and worthless ass. He’s in prison! What can he possibly do for you in the free world? He is locked up! He can’t do anything for you.

Ugh! I swear you birds keep migrating from whatever continent you’re from, and on top of it all you’re mating and creating more of you! Please stop it!

Listen here! He was never your friend. Friends don’t lie, deceive, and manipulate the people they love, and especially their own friends. And, he was never your man. A real man will never cheat, deceive, or hurt the woman he is with, cares for, or loves. He didn’t and doesn’t care for you. He was only thinking of himself. He’s a selfish ass little boy in man’s body. It’s so sad because there are many of them running around in our neighborhoods, communities, and world deceiving women like you and making you think they are men. In actuality they are little ass boys who have emotional and mental issues that damages their growth and brain development. It’s no wonder we have so many slow ass kids running around here with ADHD, enrolled in Special Education classes, and collecting a SSI check.

By the way, if you ever have to break into your mate or spouse’s voicemail, email, or any other accounts, then why are you even in the relationship? If you have to go through all that to see what they are doing, then perhaps you don’t need to know, and perhaps you should continue to let them do what they are doing. One thing I know for sure is if someone wants to leave, cheat, or do whatever they are doing, they are going to do it regardless of what you say, do, or think. So, let them do it! Let them go do them. And, while they are doing them, you do you and get out of the relationship! Chile, if someone wants to be with someone I’m with, I’m like you can have them. I’m not going to be crying, begging, and pleading for somebody to stay with me or fight some other person over someone who can be replaced. No ma’am!

And, let me ask you this (Pulls out my bull-ish calculator): Every time he laid with one of those other girls do you think he was thinking of you? (Multiply that by “Hell naw!”) Every time he ran up in you raw, and didn’t tell you that he was also using his tainted d**k to run up in other girls raw, was he thinking of your well-being or your health? (Multiply that by “Hell-f**king naw!”) When you two reunited in January, and he asked to get back with you, and you set your rules and he agreed, but he got locked up the next day, do you think he was thinking of you? (Divide that by “You can’t be serious!”) Do you think that if he can’t even abide by the rules and laws of the land that he can possibly agree to the list of rules set forth by you?  (Now, add “Idiot people will always do idiot things”) Come on, donkey! Think dumbass, think! If he can’t obey rules in the world, why and how could he possibly obey your rules??? And, according to my bull-ish calculator you would be a bigger project trick and an even more basic bish to even think he would be honest and faithful to you in this lifetime!

You know what? I’m done with you. I hope you find some strong positive influential women to run behind and leave that boy alone. You need some hope, self-esteem, and self-love. If you don’t love you, then I see why you would let that boy abuse and misuse you. There are many organizations you can seek out for mentorship and assistance to help you. Hell, you can even go to your local church and ask the sisters, mothers, and women’s group to provide you with some spiritual nourishment and development. But, you’ve got to want to change. You’ve got to want to do something different other than what you’re doing right now. And, right now I’m going to need for you to stop that damn drooling and take off that matted multi-colored wig. IT’S NOT CUTE! You’re a woman and it’s time you start presenting yourself as such. Now, change your damn number so that fool can stop calling you, and move on with your life. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

“LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE!

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click  HERE!

    

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