Dear Bossip: We’re In College & My Boyfriend Found Some Checks, Deposited Them Into His Account & Didn’t Tell Me

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

I need your advice on what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years.

We are high school sweethearts, and both moved out of state to go to college with each other (we go to different schools, but they are in the same city), and have been thinking about moving in with each other (for various reasons that have nothing to do with taking our relationship further). Recently, he’s been acting different and I’ve been close to smacking him in his face and ending it, but our relationship is important so we talked everything out.

Things still weren’t the same after our talk, but I just figured things needed a little time because change isn’t instant. One day when he came over to visit me, he breaks down and tells me that his father is trying to get him arrested. He tells me the story about how there was a lot of money in his account, so he took it out, then got a call from his dad telling him to put it all back but keep $200. Something wasn’t adding up, because although they (him and his father) haven’t had the best relationship, getting him arrested seemed extreme especially after telling him to keep $200.

Last night, which is also TWO WEEKS LATER, I got a call from his mother. She asked me a lot of questions regarding money, asking if my boyfriend has been spending a lot of money on me and if he told me what happened. I told her that he did tell me, and told her the version of what I was told. HIS DUMBASS IS A LIAR. She told me that wasn’t exactly the truth, but wouldn’t tell me what the actual truth was. After telling him that I talked to his mom and that I know the truth, he told me the real story. Apparently, he found checks and thought, “Ooh, easy money,” so he stole them, wrote a random amount of money on them, and deposited the money in his account.

I AM PISSED! I don’t know whether to be more mad that this idiot could be going to jail, or that he lied to me for weeks and betrayed the f**k out of my trust. I’ve been working so hard for our future, and then this dumbass goes and does something stupid, and ILLEGAL. His parents and grandparents are obviously mad and disappointed, so I want to be the person he can lean on and talk to when he gets really scared, but I’m torn. I really do love him, but I’m just too confused to be sure that I can be the Bonnie to his Clyde, Tiny to his T.I. (you get the point). I want to be there to support him during his time of need, but more than anything I just want to smack the –ish out of him for being so stupid!

He’s asked me if I want to end the relationship because he’s sorry for putting me through this ( my face –>  ( -______- ). My heart is telling me to stay with him and support him because I do love him and we aren’t completely sure if charges will be pressed. My brain is telling me to leave because I am a young, beautiful, ambitious black female that has too much going for me to be tied down with a could-be-felon. What should I do? – Confused And Mad As F**k

Dear Ms. Confused And Mad As F**k,

LMBAO! I don’t blame you. I would smack the –ish out of him as well for doing something so damn stupid and asinine. What the hell was his ass thinking? Obviously he wasn’t. He was so caught up in the moment that he didn’t think his plan through. Ole dumbass! This fool found some blank checks and decided to write a random amount on them and deposit them into his own account? LMBAO! Chile, what state school is he enrolled in?

Trust me, he didn’t write a random amount on that check. I’m certain that he started with a small amount first to see if the check would clear. His happy ass probably wrote a $100 check, and when that check cleared, he figured the next time he would go for a bigger amount and see if that would clear. And, when it did, he just kept upping the ante. He thought he was in Vegas and hit the jackpot! He thought he had unlimited access to someone else’s funds, but didn’t take into account that the bank would get suspicious and contact the owner of the account. Now his ole retarded ass is caught up because they want their funds back, thus, he’s committed a crime of fraudulence and check writing. And, anything over $100 is considered a felony. And, even if the owner of the account doesn’t press charges, the bank can still press charges, hell, even the state can press charges. They are going to teach him a lesson, and it’s going to be a big lesson to learn.

I don’t blame his parents for reaming him a new asshole. Hell, you should be reaming him one as well. But, being as drastic as ending the relationship is going overboard. Girl, he only wrote some bad checks. He didn’t pull a gun on anyone and rob the bank. He didn’t really get like Bonnie and Clyde and have you riding shotgun with him across the country as he robbed banks. He did something very stupid and immature. Chile, we’ve all done something while in college that we all regret. When you’re broke, hungry, and struggling through college you do some ass backward things. I’m certain many readers reading this, and those who went to college will tell you that they’ve gone into a grocery store and eaten some fruit, chips, and stole some food. We’ve all gone into a store and got a five finger discount on some deodorant, toothpaste, candy, or something. Ba-by, me and a few best friends I went to college with have done some things that we still talk about to this day. We were young, broke, and having the college experience. And, honey, it was FIERCE college experience. LMBAO! Thank goodness for maturity and growth.

So, cut him some slack and let this be a lesson learned for him. I’m certain he feels bad for what he did. And, yes, he lied because he probably didn’t want to get you caught up in his mess. Thank goodness! However, he did eventually tell you the truth, and it appears that although his family is upset and angry with him, they still support him and have told him what to do. Stand by him, and know this will past. I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. As you’re building, he is tearing it down. But, for him to do something like this has to speak to something deeper going on with him. Get to the bottom of the issue, and it may take him speaking with a counselor or his pastor. It could have been just a lax in judgment. Only he knows. So, let your anger subside and ask him why he did it. Let him share with you why he did it, what he was looking to get out of it, and what he was doing with the money. If you’re looking to plan a life with him, and you love him, which I gather you do, then honey, you will experience so many other things that you’ll look back on this and laugh. And, know as you’re going through this it will be a little rough because if it does get to the point of charges being pressed, and him going back and forth to court, I’m certain this will shake and rattle his ass when he’s in front of a judge, and he hears the charges and how they will assassinate his character. This is definitely a wake up call, and let’s pray that he wakes his ass up! – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click  HERE!

    

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