I have been with my husband for 4 years.
I love him dearly, we get along so well, but we have the same recurring argument: HIS SISTER & HIS BABY’S MAMA. They claim to be BFF’s, but the whole city knows that the reason they are BFF’s is because they are having sex with each other.
Anyway, these witches are messy bullies. They call me, text me, pass by my house, etc. I have tried everything with them (kindness, being cordial, ignoring them, even whipping their asses), but to no avail. I eventually came to the conclusion that this is a battle that I can no longer fight. My husband needs to put these heffas in check. He wouldn’t, so I decided to separate from him because 4 years is a long time to be putting up with this mess.
During our separation, his sister thought it would be a good idea to bring a lot of things to light. She told me that my husband was going to her house and having sex with his baby momma. He tried to deny it, but when his sister said it in front of him, he didn’t say one word. I was hurt so bad, but it should have been obvious to me. I wanted revenge on him and his sister, so I let his sister’s baby daddy perform oral sex on me. My plan was to have sex with him, but I couldn’t go thru with it. He didn’t press the issue. He just told me he understood. I wanted to hurt my husband and his sister, so mission accomplished, but now I feel like a damn whore. I don’t even like this dude, but he has always liked me. While he was performing oral sex on me, he was talking to me saying that he has been wanting to do that to me for years. Now, he wants to have a relationship with me. I just put him on my reject list. My sister-in-law is threatening to commit suicide. What have I done? What should I do? – Woman Scorned Goes Wrong
Dear Ms. Woman Scorned Goes Wrong
Chile, here we go with this high school drama with supposedly grown ass adults with retarded ass brains. I swear all those steroid injected foods y’all are eating and drinking is stunting your mental and emotional growth. Let me get my holy water and chant right quick: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of death (cause y’all are zombies) I shall fear no evil.”
Let’s address the lie you started your letter with talking about how you love your husband, and you get along very well. Uhm, boo boo, you don’t love your husband, and he doesn’t love you. What you two did to one another, and all the involved parties who are part of your destructive and chaotic relationship, does not constitute love. Love is not cheating, lying, manipulating, deceiving, hurting, and being spiteful. Love is not revenge, and conspiring hurt and pain on others. I suggest you get your bible and read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to understand what love truly and really is.
Now, let me get this straight – To get back at your sister-in-law, who causes strife in your life and marriage, and your husband, who cheated on you with his baby momma, you decide that in order to get back at them for all the harm, damage, stress, and embarrassment they have caused you, you conspired to sleep with your sister-in-law’s baby daddy? Sooooooo, at the end of the day, that was going to prove what? What resolution did it bring?
Do you people actually think before you get married? Do you people go through pre-marital counseling with a professional, or spiritual advisor before walking down the aisle? Does that even exist any longer? And, prior to marrying your husband, didn’t you already have problems and issues with his sister and baby momma? I’m certain that those issues didn’t just arise when you two got married. They had to have been on the horizon since you two started dating. HELLO! You were involved with a man who had a baby momma, which means she was, is, and will always be a part of his life because they have a child together. Thus, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you married your husband, and all that drama that was surfacing. ANNNNNNNDDDDDDDD, why didn’t you, and your husband nip that –ish in the bud then?
It’s because y’all are some ole’ slow dumbass Huggies wearing backwoods yellow bus riding imbeciles.
You’re going to sit up here and say that you feel like a whore after letting him perform oral sex on you after you conspired the plan to make it happen? Uhm, ma’am, you are a whore, and so is your husband. And, as you were sitting in your high chair, legs swinging, and banging your helmet against the wall didn’t it occur to you that sleeping with another man who is not your husband, hmmmmm, I don’t know (taps finger on my chin), that perhaps it will constitute you as being a backstabbing conniving whore, just like your husband? Girl, you and your husband deserve one another.
You see, here is the problem: As you were combating and going back and forth with your husband’s sister, and his baby momma, and you tried being cordial, kind, ignoring them, and actually physically fighting them, you felt as if you had exhausted all the resources. And, since your spineless and cowardly ass husband didn’t step in to do anything about it, you felt that in order to get rid of the problem you needed to separate from your husband. (Yeah, that was a bright idea) Well, if you would have written me this letter four years ago, I could have saved you four years of aggravation from the beginning. You see, grown folks, who have sense, and actually use their brains to think, would have sat down, talked out what the problem or issue was/were/are, and then they would have came up with solutions. They would have resolved everything so they could move forward and work together instead of fighting and working against one another. But, y’all couldn’t do that because four donkeys will only result in four donkeys hee-hawing at one another.
The tell-tale sign, and root, of this problem was at the forefront of your relationship, yet, you thought it would change once you got married. You felt they would leave you alone because, “I’s married now.” And, you and your husband would live blissfully happily ever after. You thought that you won the battle, and prize, between you and his baby momma, of getting the man. Yeah, what an award-winning prize you got. He’s definitely a winner, huh?
Let me break it down for you – The man was cheating on you all along with his baby momma. Those four years of fighting with his sister and baby momma was going on because he was the catalyst and root of the problem. They were sleeping together before you, when you met, as you dated, and when you get married. Their back and forth, and up and down relationship continued behind your back, and she was hurt because she thought he was going to marry her, which is what he probably told her during their bedroom romps, and when you came along she was shocked and surprised, thus, her anger and hurt was redirected toward you instead of toward him and his lies. Then, the battle began between you, the baby momma, and the sister, (who knew all along, but he felt that since they were family she would never snitch on him), so this explains why he never stepped in and came to your defense, or put an end to the fighting. He didn’t want his secret to get out, and he didn’t want to lose neither you, his baby momma, or his sister. So, he let all of you fight it out while he sat back as the dirty, trifling, rat that he is.
Now, your sister-in-law wants to commit suicide, you let another man perform orally on you (whore), thus, deceiving and leading him on with the hopes of having a relationship with you, and your marriage is even more in the toilet. And, it’s all because your husband, the root of it all, wanted to keep his secret and be selfish regarding his own hidden agenda. Look at all the damaged lives that are left catastrophically on the wayside because of your husband’s actions.
Please get the divorce because your marriage is over. The man lied, deceived, and manipulated all of you, yet, no one is holding him accountable for what he did. Which means, he will do this again if you stay married to him. You need to put on your big girl panties and apologize to your sister-in-law. Just like you are hurt after learning your husband was sleeping with his baby momma, she is hurting as well. Be a woman and step up to the plate and apologize. Ask for forgiveness, and, you too forgive. You also need to apologize to her baby daddy and let him know that you only used him to get back at his woman, and your husband. It’s time for you take responsibility for your part and role in all of this. Then I want you to get into some counseling to work on your self-esteem issues, and heal your spirit. You are a damaged woman. You already prefaced yourself as a scorned woman, and we all know that hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. So, to get out of hell, and, to not end up bitter, angry, evil, and spiteful please consume yourself with empowering and inspiring people, counsel, and a network that will help you cleanse and rejuvenate who you are as a woman filled with joy, love, and happiness. You feel bad for what you did, but in order to remedy the problem, and issue, it’s going to take being responsible, and mature enough to admit your wrongs. Don’t let this fester and continue on any longer. – Terrance Dean
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