Dear Bossip: She Wanted Me To Discipline Her Son & When I Tried She Got Upset With Me

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

Man, Terrance, I need help! Where do I start? I got married on February 10, 2012 to a beautiful woman. Man, she was everything I thought I wanted. Beautiful, sexy, successful, and a great mother. Before we got married we dated for 10 months. It was a strong relationship. I had some jealousy issues because of some stuff she told me about her pass that I didn’t agree with. It affected our relationship a little, and it made me feel a little insecure. But, we got through it.

She has a 4-year old son. He was bad when we were dating, but she would handle him. But, she kept on asking me to help her discipline him. This kid has a father in his life and I didn’t feel comfortable with me disciplining him. But, anyway, we go ahead and take that walk down the aisle. We got married. That’s when all hell broke loose. Her son turned in to the spawn of Satan. He was so disrespectful to everyone including his mother. This put a huge strain on our new marriage. She said I wasn’t trying to build a relationship with her son. I tried, but he would do everything to try and push my buttons. So, one time he hit my mother while she was babysitting him. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. We got into it. I told her he needs stern discipline. She said, “F**k you.” So, I snatched the laptop from her. She jumps up in my face like a man, and like she was gonna hit me. So, I jump up like I wish you would hit me! She runs out and tells everyone I tried to hit her. It gets worse. Later that night, she tells me she’s pregnant. I told her that I’m sorry and that I love her. She came to bed that night and I thought it was good.

The next day she snatches her son, takes the laptop and car, and leaves. She ain’t been back since. Come to find out she aborted the baby and is demanding me to bring her stuff. I love her. We are married, but I don’t know what to do??? Any advice??? Sorry for writing so much. LOL. – Married And Lost

Dear Mr. Married And Lost,

Hell, take her stuff and give it to her! What the hell are you waiting on?

Chile, that woman is acting like her 4-year old son. You didn’t have one spawn of Satan, you have two spawns of Satan! LOL! She was asking you to discipline her son, hell, she was the one who needed some discipline. Where do you think her son learned that behavior from? He got it from his momma! OWWW!

This is why I don’t like men getting caught up by women who want them to come in and raise their little boys, after they’ve failed to do so for 4, 5, and 7 plus years. These women don’t know how to handle their sons, so they go on the prowl looking for some man to come in and take care of them, especially her out of control son, because his own father is not involved in his life, thus, she is looking for a man to be a daddy to him. But, her “independent I-don’t-need-a-man, neck rolling, bad attitude, and always yelling and screaming at the child’s father, and the child,” only breeds a young boy to be wild, undisciplined, and out of control.

I’m sorry ladies, but raising a small boy is not something women should or can do! They need men, strong men, in their lives to help rear, and discipline them, or else they turn out to be strong independent women like their mothers! They grow up and don’t respect male authority figures. They need men in their lives, more importantly, FATHERS!

But, I digress! You married this woman after only knowing her 10 months. Uhm, sir, chile, here we go with this bull-ish, again. Did you do any marriage counseling prior to walking down the aisle? Do you actually think that you know her, or she knows you in that amount of time? I’ll answer that for you – HELL FREAKING NAW!!!! Ten months of ‘dating’ isn’t enough time for you to know if you can have a lifetime with someone. It isn’t’ enough time to know that within 3 months, because that’s how long you’ve been married jackass, that you and her would get into it, and she screams, “F**k you!” Then jump up in your face like a man as if she was going to hit you (Two things: Again, where do you think her son learned his behavior? And, I’m certain she’s done this to other men she’s dated previously, and they realized she was crazy and they got the hell out of the relationship). You jump back, she runs out and tells everyone that you tried to hit her, but later that night she tells you that she’s pregnant, you go to bed thinking everything is cool (Uhm, sir, knocks on your big ass dome – Why at that moment do you think she felt it necessary to tell you that she was pregnant? She didn’t feel compelled to tell you any time prior to the incident that occurred earlier?) Never, ever, ever think that a woman is okay after a huge blow-up like the one you had, and one that involves her son. SHE IS NOT OKAY. AND, SHE WILL NEVER FORGET IT!

I’m really curious to know what you do for a living. I’m really curious to know if she saw you coming. You know, the sucker! The dumbass! The easy target that she could manipulate because you’ve got to be making some serious money, and on top of that, she desperately wanted a man to take care of her and her bad ass son!  And, your big lurch ass came in thinking you’d found the woman of your dreams. LMBAO! From the very beginning she showed you who she was, and, yet, you reluctantly failed to pay attention because you were caught up in her, “Beauty, sexiness, success, and being a great mother.” Really? Really, Forest! She was a great mother, yet, she couldn’t discipline or manage her bad ass son? She kept asking you to discipline him!!! HELLO!! Chile, some of you men will miss a damn clue if it hit you in the nut sac.

You two don’t deserve to be married. It’s not going to work, will never work, and can’t work. She aborted your child without even discussing it with you. This is a clear sign that she doesn’t respect you as a man, or your opinion. She’s been M.I.A., and haven’t been back since, and you’re waiting on what??? Honey, she let you know what was important to her – her child, her laptop, and the car. Again, she doesn’t respect you as a man, or your opinion.

But, this is the Tee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee: The fact that she kept asking you to discipline her child when he got out of pocket, and when he hit your mother and you stepped in to do something, all of a sudden she doesn’t want you touching or reprimanding her child. So, she wanted selective discipline. She is probably one of those types of women who want you to speak to her child and be stern with him, but don’t you put your hands on her child. That’s overstepping your boundaries, because you ain’t his father. You don’t have a right to be putting your hands on her child. She’s the only one who can put her hands on her child, and she is not going to let no man come in and hurt her baby. Uhm, okay, and we wonder why these bad ass kids, especially boys, are running around here acting the way they do, and have no sense of responsibility, nor respect for authority or their elders. They see their mothers acting the way they do, and speaking to people out of the side of their mouths with disrespect, thus, their kids do what they see their mothers doing.

Be glad that she left. Celebrate that you don’t have to put up with this overbearing and belligerent woman, and her seed of Chucky. Pack her –ish, and let her know where to pick it up. If she wants to run, and be the big bad ass, then let her run and be the big bad ass! You two are not cut out for each other, and I would cut her out permanently. Why put up with someone like her? She obviously doesn’t respect you. She doesn’t value you. She doesn’t think highly of you, and, more importantly, she won’t let you step up and be a man, or father figure to her child. If he sees his mother disrespecting you, and she’s always running to his rescue when you attempt to discipline him, then how do you think he’ll grow up and treat you? Yeah, stick around if you want to. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

     

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