My boyfriend and I have been in a happy relationship for 4 months.
The relationship is excellent so far, he treats me like a queen. He’s very considerate, affectionate, understanding and committed. He’s the best man I’ve known so far. The only problem is that he has a very small member. Probably the size of a average popsicle (It’s very hot now so I’m seeing a lot of popsicles. LOL)
He has a very high libido and always wants to have sex, but I don’t get turned on because I’m not getting satisfied because of his small size. The men in my past have been very well-endowed, but treated me so badly. I finally have a good man that loves me, but the sex is boring. I emphasize on oral sex because it’s the only way I’m getting pleasure. But, he keeps asking me if I’m getting satisfied through penetration and I just don’t have the courage to tell him the truth that I’m not because he’s so small. I don’t want to cheat because he’ll never take me back if he finds out. I definitely don’t want to lose him, but I can’t tell him the truth about his small member. What should I do Bossip? – Two Inches
Dear Ms. Two Inches,
Don’t want no eenie-weenie-teenie-weenie short ______ man! LOL! Do y’all remember that song?
Chile, I bet while y’all are doing it doggy-style, and he’s behind you he’s saying, “Yeah, you like that! You like big daddy, don’t you!” LMBAO! Let me stop.
Girl, you’re going to have to be honest with him, just like you’re being honest with me. If his libido is high and you’re not being turned on, then you’re not compatible because you’re not being satisfied or fulfilled. You’re going to resent him, his inapt shortcomings (I had to say it, LOL), and eventually you will cheat. Every time he’s ready to get down to business, you’ll start saying you have a headache, and that you’re not in the mood. You’ll begin to avoid him, and start coming up with excuse after excuse.
Why lay there and be bored? I can see you now as he’s thinking he’s hitting your spot, and you’re oohing and awing with that sarcastic look on your face like, “Does he really think he’s doing something? Chile, I got to get my hair done later. Then, I need to go to the grocery store and get some eggs, milk, and cheese. Oooh, and Macy’s got a sale going on. I saw these cute shoes I want. Chile, what time is it? Is he almost finished yet? Let me throw it back and put it on him. Oops, I can’t do that, he will slip out.” I CAN’T!!! LOL!
So, here’s what the yogi of sex, Terrance Sutra, says: Remember, it’s not the size of the ship, but the motion in the ocean. Try various positions to figure out which one works best for you and your partner. Considering he’s smaller than most guys, and please note that the average size male member is between 5 and 6 inches, so, if he’s smaller than that, well, uhm….Anyway, you may want to try the cowgirl position, or reverse cowgirl. The cowgirl position is you being on top, riding and facing him. Reverse cowgirl is you being on top but your back is to him and your face is toward his feet.
You may also want to consider laying in a spoon position and let him enter you from the back while you’re spooning. Or, you can do the scissor position in which you lay on your side, and he is on top with one of your legs up and he’s in between you. This is a sexy position and it may allow some sensation and for you to fully enjoy him. You may also consider straddling him while he’s sitting in a chair, or on the sofa. Again, you can control the action, and make him your personal vibrator.
And, last but not least, chile, have you considered doing Kegels? Yeah, look that up, and you may want to get your Kegel on. Hell, Kegel while you’re being intimate with your man. There is nothing a man likes better than a pulsating Kegeling woman. LOL!
Look, all I’m saying is that you have options. And, you may want to consider those options before you end this relationship because I can guarantee you that if you’re not being sexually satisfied, then it’s not going to work. If he’s not fulfilling your needs in the bedroom, and despite him being a good man, and affectionate, considerate, and understanding, but, no sparks or orgasms in the bedroom will lead to a very unhappy and dissatisfied woman. So, get in the bedroom, try the positions I’ve offered, and I’m sure the Bossip readers can lend some advice on some positions that I haven’t considered.
And, I cannot emphasize enough that you must talk with him, and let him know how to please you. I hate when folks don’t talk with their mates and let them know what they need in the bedroom, and how to make them feel good. You have to show and teach your mates how to handle your body. Let them know what turns you on, what makes you scream, squirm, and get excited. Let them know your positions, and in particular, your favorite positions. There’s nothing worse than two clumsy folks in bed waiting on the other person to do what they want them to do, yet, you haven’t expressed to them what they need to do to make you happy. Chile, that is for the birds. You better say something and have your needs met. – Terrance Dean
Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean
Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!