Hide Ya Peen! Schlong Snacking Fish Species Caught In Illinois Lakes

WTF!? Why can’t it be a blowfish?

When biologists say the pacu fish eats nuts, they may be correct in more ways than one.

The pacu, a toothy fish that can weigh up to 55 pounds, has been spotted in Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois, KSDK reports.

Responding to a report that a fisherman had reeled in a piranha on June 7, lake superintendent Jim Caldwell brought the fish to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, where it was identified as a pacu. Some reports say another pacu was seen a couple of weeks later.

Caldwell said he is still swimming in the lake nearly every day. Pacus primarily eat nuts, aquatic vegetation and snails, he told KDSK, and pose no real threat to humans.

Residents of Papua New Guinea may beg to differ. There, according to British fisherman Jeremy Wade, the pacu is known as the “ball cutter.”

“The locals told me that this thing was like a human in the water, biting at the testicles of fishermen,” Wade said. The Ball Cutter boasts an impressive set of man-like molars, which tear off the testicles of unwitting hunters, leaving them to bleed to death.

Yikes! Someone tell Joseline to stay out the water and protect her nuts.

Source

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