Dear Bossip: They Haven’t Been Married A Year Yet & I’ve Developed Feelings For My 20-Year Old Neighbor

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

I’m a 24-year old newly divorced single mom.

I’m in the military and living off-post. Eight months ago a new couple moved next door to us (my husband and I before the divorce). My neighbor is 20-years old and his wife is 37-years old. They seemed cool so we started doing couple dates and hanging out and stuff. Me and her became closer over the months, but things between me and my hubby got bad, and she and her husband began to separate as well.

My husband left me and my son soon after, and it was long overdue. I was so happy for my newly found freedom. Then, my neighbor tried talking to me about what he and his wife were going through. I denied him several times until I noticed we were both going through similar problems. They met when while she was teaching at his school and he was 15-years old at the time when they started dating. Now, he wants to divorce her and she won’t have it. The more we talked, the more we see to have in common. My son absolutely loves him, seriously. And, he wants to be with me and my son so badly. But, I am feeling really badly for having feelings for him when I have been cool with his wife. I don’t want to hurt her by ‘betraying’ her. They haven’t been married a year yet, but she clearly doesn’t want the divorce and he is trying. What do I do? – Confused Love

Dear Ms. Confused Love,

I can’t! You are a wretched mess!

There are all types of wrong with this situation. And, it’s obvious that you and your fling don’t give a flying freak about the boundaries you’re crossing and the people in the crosshairs who will be affected by your actions. SMDH!

You do know that the military provides FREE professional counseling for couples who are going through a divorce, and that you and he don’t need each other to be counseling one another? Especially as you’re lonely and vulnerable, and for him you’re some new coochie! He’s 20-freaking years old!!! HELLO! The hell!

Whatever you’re doing with him, because I know you are sleeping with him, you need to stop it today! The hell is wrong with your a**? I need to punch you in the damn throat! He is married. Regardless of what he is and his wife are going through he is still a married man! He needs to be communicating with his wife and letting her know what’s going on instead of confiding in you and laying up in your legs. And, you’ve just gone through a damn divorce, so I’m sure you know how important communicating with your spouse is, thus, you don’t need to be interfering with their marriage.  Ugh!

I can’t stand a woman who will knowingly go after another woman’s husband, and especially when the woman is a friend of hers.  You are a piece of work! I can just snatch you by your damn wig! Women like you don’t have any problems sneaking and creeping into your friend’s home and doing her man. Ole trifling a** bishes!

There is nothing you can say to me to justify what you’re doing. There is no argument you can provide that will convince anyone that dealing with a 20-year old married boy is okay, and on top of that you are friends with his wife. What does that say about you? What type of woman are you? Oh, yeah, a home-wrecking tramp!

The problem and issues in their marriage is between he and his wife. Stop being a third party, and stop giving him access to you and your bed. It’s not resolving anything, and it only constitutes as an affair with you as the sideline hoe. Besides, the very thing he is doing to his wife he will do to you. She met him when he was 15-years old, and she was a grown a** woman teaching at his school. Don’t you see the issue and problem there? For once in your life, think damn it!!

He hadn’t even developed yet, and she was already freaking his brains out. He wasn’t thinking logically with his brain when they began their affair, he was thinking with his d**k! He was 15-years old! And, what type of relationship did she think she was going to have with a little boy? He can’t even make mature adult decisions. So, of course after the thrill has worn off, and he sees some new coochie in his face he is going to want to run up in it. And, you’re letting him.

I’m going to reiterate this again, please pay attention because I know some good young d**k probably has you going coo-coo crazy: HE IS 20-YEARS OLD. HE CAN’T BUY LIQUOR. HE CAN’T GO TO THE CASINO WITHOUT AN ADULT. HE CAN’T GET INTO MOST ADULT CLUBS. HE’S NOT EVEN TECHNICALLY AN ADULT. HE’S A BOY! AND, LIKE MOST BOYS HIS AGE ALL HE WANTS IS SOME COOCHIE!

Geez, get your damn head out of your coochie and wake the hell up! How about you work on your own self-esteem, and get into someone’s post-divorce counseling to learn how to deal with your emotions and mentality so that you can move on from your divorce instead of sexing the next door neighbor. How about you leave the 20-yeard old boy alone, and allow him and his wife to work on their problems without any outside interference. How about you be a bigger woman and step away from the situation as you’ve befriended the woman, and the betrayal to her and her marriage constitutes nothing, and it makes you look like a sleazy whore. Have some dignity and respect for yourself. Besides, what lesson do you think you are teaching your child who is obviously watching his mother sleep with the man next door that is married to another woman? – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

    

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