My story is complicated, but I believe you can help.
I was always a hustler, but my passion has been music and the entertainment industry. While trying to get my music off the ground I had to have more than a regular job income. So, I have never held a job, but I always had money. My wife has been with me from the beginning – you could almost say high school sweethearts – and I always did everything I could to make her happy and take care of our kids. She would encourage me to get a job here and there and I’d listen for a second, but the money and things I would bring home would quiet the conversation. I would get little jobs here and there, but the money I got on the street was so much more and faster that I never stuck it out.
We lived a good life up until a few years ago when one of the things I was involved in caught up to me and we lost our house in a police raid. She had to go stay with her family and I stayed with mine while I had to pay lawyers to stay out of jail. While we were separated she started dating and going out with other people. I didn’t at first – and we went back and forth with each other for a long time, but she would always stop herself from coming all the way back to me. We had talked divorce numerous times but she never would go file. Every time the subject came up she would say she was going to do it. We are coming up on being separated for 2 years and she just recently went out of town on a plane with the guy she is seeing now. I went and filed after that, but ultimately I don’t think that is what I want. The women I have been seeing are not what I really want, but part of me feels like I need to move on. So what’s my next move? We have two beautiful kids and I didn’t want to put them through this. I would love to put it all back together. What do I do? – Hustler Trying To Do Right
Dear Mr. Hustler Trying To Do Right,
You seriously don’t have a clue do you? You clearly have demonstrated to all of us that you have some street smarts, but not an ounce of common sense. You’re a new kind of breed of donkey. HEE HAW! HEE HAW!
I don’t understand you, especially as someone who has probably heard time and time again that dealing drugs is sooooooo 1990s and you’re only going to end up either dead or in jail (because who the hell is on the streets selling drugs in 2012???). You’d destroy your family rather than be a real man and go get a job. You’d bring your family down with you rather than be responsible, mature, an adult and teach your children about the dangers of drugs and what they do to people and how it’s not a respectable life or way to earn money. You’d rather teach your children that being a hustler is more important than being a father and showing them the ills of the streets and how it can destroy a man and his family. Yous a simple donkey a** and you don’t care about anyone other than yourself.
You got caught up, as all hustlers and dealers do because they feel invincible and no one will catch them, and the police raided your home, which you lost, and your wife and kids had to go stay with her family and you went with yours. This is all your doing. This is all your fault. You put your wife and kids through this ordeal and you want her to come back to you because of what? You’ve changed? You’re a better man now? You’re about to get a record deal and things are about to happen? (Oh, my bad, there is no record deal, and there is no label calling) LMBAO! Boy, get your Forrest Gump self away from me before I punch you in the back of your damn head.
You can’t make your wife and family happy with money and things. They need your presence, your love, your being. Your wife needs a husband, a man who is taking care of his responsibilities and not in the streets running after money and coming in all hours of the night and day. Your kids need a father, a provider, and someone to teach them what a real man is all about and not some wanna-be thug who can’t let go of his youth and you’re acting and behaving like them. Grow the damn hell up and be a man! Put all that foolish childish –ish to the side! Ugh!
And, you clearly don’t see what’s so obvious and that is your wife has moved on. She is done with you. She’s done trying to hold you down, a grown a** man who should be taking care of his family and kids. She stood by your side waiting on that day you would finally get it together. She begged you to get a job, but, oh no, the streets is where you found your home. The streets is what you were married to. You obviously made your choice, and she has made hers. Now, get the divorce, and move on. She is on a plane with another man that she is currently seeing. That means she is taking matters into her own hands and has moved on.
But hold on, Mr. I’ve-Seen-The-Light-But-Is-Not-Gon-Change, you’ve been separated for two years, and you say that you don’t want to put your kids through this. Am I missing something? Do you not see what’s going on? Are you that freaking clueless? Geesh! You’re not using your own supply are you? You can’t be this dumb. Sir, let me break this down for you: You are putting your kids through this. You are putting your family through this because the streets, hustling, and getting fast money are more important to you. In those two years you’ve been separated you could have gone to trade school, even gotten an associate’s degree, found a job, and started saving. You could have joined a church, got into some spiritual counseling, and turned over your life from the streets and made yourself into a new man. But, you did none of that. You’re still doing the same damn thing, stuck in the same damn spot, and sitting your homely dopey looking a** in the corner waiting on your wife and family to return.
Let your family be happy and let them have a happy beginning without you. Finalize the divorce and stop impeding on her life and your kids life. There is some work you need to do on you and it begins with you admitting to yourself that hustling has destroyed you and your family. Getting fast money is not the key, and it does not make or keep a happy home. And, you seriously need to get a skill, a trade, or enrolled in someone’s school so that you can get a career, earn some real money, and begin saving. It’s time you truly grew up and became a man, and start child support for your children, being active in their lives, and let your soon-to-be ex-wife enjoy her life. And, perhaps, if you stop dating fast women then you will meet a nice woman who is smart, intelligent, and not out for only one thing. If you change your circumstances you can change your life. Start with you, and everything else will fall into place. – Terrance Dean
Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean
Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!