I have a relationship question for you. There is this guy I have known since I was about 9-years old.
We used to attend summer camp together. The last time I saw him was when we were both 20-years old. Recently, we reconnected on Facebook back in December. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We started communicating via text, phone calls, and Skyping daily. He wanted to come visit me, and he wanted me to come visit him (I live in ATL and he lives in Chicago).
Everything was cool until about March when the communication just stopped on his end. I talked it over with my friends and they were like, well, maybe he is busy. I was like no one is that busy. Something in my gut was telling me that things weren’t they way they used to be. Fast forward to this past Sunday and I hear from him, and I’m like WOW. He proceeds to tell me that he had met someone. My response was simple, “I figured as much.”And, I went on to congratulate him on his new relationship.
On Monday morning I wake up and I have a text from him saying, “Good morning beautiful.” I respond back with a good morning. Then he asks if it would be possible for us to meet up somewhere and I’m thinking, “Don’t you have a girlfriend.” He texts me that he thinks about me all the time, still has feelings for me, and still looks at my pictures. I’m sitting there shaking my head. I politely told him that look I don’t want to interfere in what you are trying to build with your girlfriend, and he says he doesn’t think it will interfere with anything if we meet up and talk. Then, he said he wanted to “sample the goods” so he could find out what he had been missing out on. I was pissed. I responded and told him, “You had your chance and you didn’t want it and you can’t sample anything.”
What is strange is that I didn’t hear from this guy for two months and now all of a sudden he wants to text and call me daily like nothing as if nothing happened. That just doesn’t fly with me. Plus, he still is like can you send me more pictures of you. For what? Fool you have a woman or met someone so be happy. Even when I asked him about his girlfriend his response to me was, “Well, she is from the south just like you and she knows how to treat me. That’s how I feel for her.” Which is all fine with me. I’m not upset with the fact that he has a girlfriend or met someone. I’m pissed at how he is coming at me now no matter what I say to him. I’m short of flying and smacking the piss out of him. I don’t think he will get it.
One of my guy friends says he is confused and he doesn’t know which one of us he wants to be with. But, I think that he made that decision clear when he texted me that he had met someone. Another friend said, “Well, he said he met someone, not that he was getting married.” Still, I am not the type of woman to cheat or be someone’s second option. What are your thoughts on the situation? – Not Girlfriend Number 2
Dear Ms. Not Girlfriend Number 2,
Why are we having a conversation? Why did you write in? You already know what this is. You already know what he is about. As you said in your letter he made his decision when he texted you that he had met someone else. Tell him to kiss the inside of your a** and leave you the HELL ALONE!
This is what I don’t understand: Why are you still answering his texts and calls? Stop entertaining him. Period. Point. Blank. He keeps texting and calling because your simple a** keeps answering. Stop answering him and he will leave you alone. Change your number. Block him on your phone and Facebook. Delete him out of your life. It’s that simple. He’s going to keep calling and texting because even though you say one thing your actions are saying yet another. If you don’t want to be bothered, then don’t be bothered.
But, I get it, you wrote this letter because you’re thinking about him and you like the attention he is giving you now that he has someone else. You like the fact that he is running after you, and telling you all these sweet nothings you wanted to hear initially. Ma’am, let me make this clear for your simple a**. You didn’t hear from this man for months. The same man who was trying to reconnect with you. The same man who filled your head with the hopes of having a relationship. And, he texted you after two months and said he met someone else. HE TEXTED YOU! He didn’t have the balls or decency to give you a call to tell you this? HE TEXTED YOU! I’m sorry. Again, why are you entertaining him and his conversations?
Then on top of this, this MOFO had the gall to say to you that he wanted to sample the goods. Yeah! You should have flown to Chicago and slapped the dog –ish out of him. The hell he talking about he wants to sample the goods? You are not a buffet! Now, this retard Gump is having remorse and wants to see what he missed out on. Girl, if you even think about opening your legs for him I will slap the dog –ish out of you.
His text and behavior should tell you what he was all about from the very beginning. He just wanted to get into your pants. He didn’t want anything more with you other than to jump your bones. Trust me, if you would have flown to Chicago, or he would have came to Atlanta that is the only thing he would have had on his mind. He would have continued playing you like a fiddle and once he got what he wanted, and sampled the goods, he would have went back home and added you to the list of women he bagged. Thank God you dodged that bullet!
You said it best at the end of your letter: You are not the type of woman to cheat or be someone’s second option. Never ever make someone a priority when you’re only an option for them. Maintain your morals and values, and stick to your guns. Regardless of what your friends say. By the way, you need new friends. Honey, change your number, block and delete that boy and his small a** baby nuts. Stop answering him and move on. Simple. Point. Blank. – Terrance Dean
Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean
Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!