I recently met this guy.
We had a great conversation over the phone and he seemed sweet, but he made a few comments that pissed me off. I invited this guy out for drinks with my co-workers. He stated that the women I worked with looked like prostitutes. That was the ultimate turn off. I work in a causal environment; summer dresses, capris, tanks etc. He said makeup, wigs/weaves, showing cleavage and wearing fitted clothes were not necessary. I was offended because I was wearing a summer dress that showed cleavage, wearing makeup and a wig.
I met him after a workout session. Pretty much, gym clothes with no makeup. I’m guessing he likes that style or expects me to look like that all the time… not happening. With the exception of the gym, I always wear light makeup. I always wear wigs and I always dress nice. My style is dressy causal (similar to my co-workers); perfect for work or going out for drinks.Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however, I think the comments was directed at me. He’s rude; I believe he’s disrespectful towards women. I stopped answering his calls and texts. Yet, he’s still calling and trying to figure out what happened. Should I ignore the comments and give him a chance or tell him how I feel and call it a day. – Overdressing, Wearing Makeup & Wigs
Dear Ms. Overdressing, Wearing Makeup & Wigs,
Sigh! Big deep sigh!
I don’t understand many of you women. You just sat up here and said he’s rude, and believes he’s disrespectful toward women. What is intriguing or interesting about that? Not a damn thing. If he’s rude and disrespectful to your friends, and co-workers, he will be rude and disrespectful to you!
And, you stopped answering his calls and texts. So, just because he keeps calling and trying to figure out what happened, you’re asking me if you should give him chance. That shouldn’t even be an option for consideration.
If he’s made rude and ignorant statements about women and how makeup, wigs/weaves, and showing cleavage and fitted clothes were not necessary, yet, that is your attire, and look, then what makes you think you two would get along? What type of relationship could you have with this man? YOU ARE NOT A MATCH.COM!
Eventually what will happen is that he will begin to dictate, and constantly critique your look and attire, and you will eventually begin to dress for him. You will stop wearing makeup. You will put the wigs back on their shelves. Your tight and fitting clothes will become a thing of your past. You will look homely with your grandma dress, and sagging clothes. Then, he will start demanding that you stop associating with your co-workers because they are a bad influence. You won’t be able to go out without him because he will think other men are looking at you. He will try to run your life, and dictate what you can and cannot do. Chile, puhlease! That –ish is for the MoFo birds.
No woman, and I mean no woman should change drastically for a man, and accommodate a man because of what he likes. If he’s interested in women who don’t wear makeup, wigs/weaves, and form fitting clothing there are hundreds of thousands of women in the world he can find. Honey, there are the Quakers, the Pentecostal church, an Islamic country, or some communal community where women denounce western looks and styles. The point I’m making is that instead of trying or attempting to change a woman into his desired taste, he can find what he is looking for and leave you the hell alone!
Don’t you dare let that man come into your life and project his ideas and thoughts onto you! You don’t have to respond to his texts or calls. Hell, just let him know that you are not interested and to please stop hitting you up and leave it at that. As I’ve said many times before: When someone tells you and shows you who they are, believe them! He’s telling you who he is. He’s telling you what he wants. He’s telling you that you are not what he wants, but he’s going to change you into what he wants you to be. Girl, let him kiss you’re a** and move on. There are too many fine, good-looking, smart, intelligent, goal-oriented, God-fearing, loving, rich men in this world who will gladly appreciate you, and who you are. They won’t ask you to change a thing! – Terrance Dean
Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!
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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!